If only... I could stop thinking about her.. Her smell, her skin..
She came over scared, as usual. She literally woke me up out of bed. It was just after midnight and I knew that she hadn't slept well in a while. I had to smile at the look on my Abby's face, when she saw that I sleep in just sweatpants. Her eyes blantantly scanned over my torso. I can feel her appreciative gaze and fight another smile.
"The dreams back?" She just nodded to me. The dreams of her fanatical ex boyfriend coming back to hurt her. She doesn't detail them and I never press her to. I know what it is like to have terrible dreams. I motion for her to come over. She sits on the edge of the bed and I tell her that it's going to be okay like I always do. She looks at me sheepishly.
"Can I stay?" I nod, I'm awake now anyway and she won't sleep well alone. She never does after a nightmare. She enfolds me in another one of her crushing hugs with a joyful squeal. I try to breathe while she hugs me. Her mind catches up to her actions and she ducks her head. I chuckle and go to my dresser and pull out a t-shirt and sweatpants for her to wear. I hand them to her and then step out of the room for her to change. I try my damnest to not imagine her naked and somewhat suceed.
"Umm, I'm decent now." I smile in earnest over her comment. I step back into the room to see her curled up in my bed. She's wearing my clothes and looking damn good in them. Decent indeed. I debate on whether or not to join her or sleep on the couch. Sleeping on the couch was not an option becuase the nightmare always reoccurs. She came for comfort and comfort I will give her. Even if it kills me. I step over and join her; she instinctively presses herself against my chest. I just hold her and wrap my arms around her. Her cheek absently nuzzles agaisnt my bare chest as she falls asleep.
"Thanks." She sighs as she relaxes deeper in my embrace. I nod and smile. I can't and won't deny her anything, especially not comfort. She puts too much faith in my and my one true fear is that I will let her down.
She's my life, my heart, and she'll never be anything else...
"You'll never be anything else but my Abby. I love you." I didn't mean to tell her that out loud. I've said it now and can only hope that she is isn't. She slowly props herself up on one elbow and looks at me. She smiles, making my heart flip flop in my chest, and presses her hand against my heart. She holds her hand there for a moment feeling it pound before curling back against me.
"My silver haired fox...never be anything else." She chooses to sign the words rather than say them. I know that it is easier for her. Abby has been hurt so many times and I vow that I will never hurt her. I don't think either of us could survive that.
"I love you." She murmurs in her sleep. I smile again. She should know by now that I love her. She falls asleep against my heart and I soon follow suit. Yes we'll never be anything else but each others.