Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)

This time I woke up before Richard, the room was very dark but it always was, I got up slowly trying not to wake him up since he was probably tired, we had a lot of sexual tension to make up for and I wasn't really sure that we could ever make up for it.

When I got to the curtain I pushed it for the side to take a lot outside, it was indeed dark, but I had no idea how late it was. Walking to my bed I took a look at my cell phone, 11pm, Castle should go home, maybe Alexis would get worried since I didn't hear he talking to her, letting her know that he was going to spend another night with me, and I didn't want for her to spend another night alone.

As gentle as I could be, I started trying to shake him up a bit to see if he would wake up and whispering his name, the worst thing is to wake up scared.

"Hey Castle, it's late you have to go home." I said whispering in his ear. "Baby, please wake up" He started moving and I thought that I had accomplished my objective, but he just moved a little bit, trying to get more comfortable, took a deep breath and went back to sleep peacefully. "Richard Castle, wake up… Wake up please I am worried about Alexis, she doesn't know you are still here." I said trying to shake him a little stronger; I was getting tired of trying to be gentle. "Castle, wake up please. Did I make you this tired?" I said with a grumpy voice.

"Hum? Did something happen?" He said sleepy, but at least finally talking to me.

"No Caste, nothing happened, but is 11pm you have to go back to your house. Tomorrow Alexis has school and I have to go to the office early."

"But I want to stay here!" He said grabbing me and putting me on top of him.

"Castle, I hope you are not trying anything funny! Come on, wake up." I said getting out of the bed.

"Kate, please come back to bed. Alexis will be fine." He said grumpy.

"I don't want her to think that I stole you from her, you are going back to your home, now. Come on wake up!" I said taking his hand and trying to sit him on the bed.

"Okay, okay. No need to be mean to me. It is not my fault that you got me really tired!" He said getting up.

"Don't even think of putting the blame on me, I wasn't having an orgasms alone! You were a willing participant mister Castle."

"No need to get mad Kate, I was kidding. I am going already, let me just put some clothes and I will be out of your way." He said sounding a little hurt that I was kicking him out of my bed.

"Hey, I am not kicking you out. I am worried about Alexis; I don't want you to spend two nights away from home without talking before with Alexis. It was just the two of you for a long time; I don't want her thinking that now she was put aside." I said hugging him from behind and resting my head on his back.

"I got it, you are right." He said turning and giving me a kiss. "I will go home, please call me tomorrow."

"I will, do you want to take my car? This hour I don't think it's good for you to take a cab." I said hugging him tightly.

"No need to, but if I accepted how would you go to work tomorrow?"

" Well..I would take my motorcycle."

"You have a motorcycle?" He said excited.

"Yes, I have one. I love riding motorcycle. It was part of my crazy days but I liked it so much to sell later; I ride it occasionally."

"Wow Kate, every day a new layer of you. I love that about you, no better, I love you." He said looking at me.

"I will say that I love you soon, okay? I am working on it." I said suddenly shy.

"Hey, don't worry. I know I just wanted to say so you can always remember; I will wait like we talked early, please don't worry or try to rush yourself. When you think it's time, it's time."

"Okay, thank you." I said hugging him tightly again.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Thank you for loving me." I said kissing him. We kissed for a few minutes until he broke it off. "Now, do you want the car?"

"We have to stop this if you really want me to go home and no thank you, I will be fine."

"I don't really want you to go, but it's the right thing to do. And, I am trying to do always the right thing in our relationship. Are you sure you want to take the cab? I don't mind if you take my car."

"It's okay; I don't mind taking the cab. Bye. Please, call me tomorrow; I will be waiting!" He said when we both walked towards the door.

"No need to worry, I will call you."

"I will wait, don't forget."

"I won't, just go before I stop you!"

"Byeeeee" He said and closed the door behind him.

When Castle left I went back to my room, it was smelling us and not in a weird way, if there wasn't a weird way. I took a glass of wine and went to my balcony. New York never stopped and it was something that I related for a long time, but at that moment, I wished it would stop just for a few hours, so I could catch up with them.

Everything was running, the time, the relationship, life… it never bugged me before, and I used to wish that life would run so I could die soon. Such a tragic soul, don't you think? But at that moment, I was not sure if I wanted to die, ever. How many times had I come to that same balcony and asked for the Gods, if it existed, to give the courage to jump, so all could end. Since I made a lot of money I already had a WILL, half of all my money went to Lanie, the other half for several charities, I was waiting for the death to pick me up anytime and I wanted to make something of my death and I wanted that the half I planned to give to Laney to be a "thank you" note for everything she did for me during my life.

But, after that day I stopped wishing to die, I am sure that somewhere someone in the world was angry that I gave up on the thought. I sincerely never thought that someone would love me as Castle appeared to love; it was such a strange feeling, being loved. Peter never loved me the way Castle did, I couldn't put a finger on the difference, maybe Peter always wanted something else from me, he loved me but wanted other things that he wished I could give him. And Castle knew what I could give him and that was it, it was enough for him.

I liked this new feeling, maybe I should give the death one last taste so I could really make me available for life, yes, I thought about cutting one last time, one last goodbye for a good friend of mine but then, I gave up. I looked around myself, I looked towards New York, the city that never sleeps and thought that, New York never stops for no one, it never waits, it just keeps going, and, if I spent so many years thinking we were the same maybe we should really be the same, I wasn't going to say goodbye for any one; the past was the past, I wasn't going to stop, waste time for something that was past.

"Sorry death, although we have been good friends for so long, it's time for me to move on. I will meet you some day I am sure, but now, I want to really live, won't pretend that I am living anymore, I will live. I am really sorry, for a long time I thought we belonged together but… I was wrong, I will see you when my time really comes, I don't want to go before I really have to." I said out loud for no one in particularly, since I was alone. But I promise you that I heard someone saying back to me: "That's okay Katherine, we will meet when we really have to meet."

Maybe I was really going crazy; I thought but it was really late to waste time thinking about stuff that I wasn't sure, I finished my glass of wine and went back to bed.

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