A/N: WOW, you guys. WOW. A YEAR. I don't think I've ever procrastinated that much in my LIFE. I am quite sorry about it, though. I'm still quite devoted to this story, and felt guilty about abandoning it for so long. I'll try to get updates out more frequently. Since I just went on winter break (and coincidentally broke my toe on the same day... go figure) I'll have a lot of time to write.
I took the chance and went through my notes. I actually revised several things, ending included. To tell the truth, even I wasn't sure how this would end when I first began. Now I have an excellent idea, and most of the story mapped out. Don't worry, I get the feeling it won't be disappointing. I took the chance and responded to a few reviews, too!
Ammish: I agree! The best part of a story is the characters, if done right. I try my very best to live up to some of the amazing stories on this site in that respect, and it's relieving to hear I'm doing it well.
Allie Cat: Thanks for the compliment! Unfortunately, I CAN tell you straight out that this won't end as Edd getting a harem. None of the girls are the sharing type, and Edd himself shows hints of being much more conservative than the other boys when it comes to relationships. In this aspect, I'm sorry. I hope to stick to the characters as close as possible.
Thank you, everyone! Your reviews keep the beast inside of me fed! And I hope you keep reading. Enjoy, and thanks! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Nazz sat in Biology class, idly tapping her pen on her desk. She was only half-listening to what the teacher was saying (something about cells dividing or something, she wasn't sure), thinking instead about her encounter that morning. About Marie.
Nazz wasn't one to think the worst about people. To her, people were innocent until proven guilty. And, unfortunately, the Kankers had done so, again and again. They were vicious and aggressive. To Nazz, Marie was the worst. Sure, Lee was the self-proclaimed leader, and without a doubt the loudest and strongest Kanker. But Marie had a mean streak to her that was as wide as that grin of hers. She was crafty, and Nazz knew for a fact she wasn't stupid.
And she'd been grinning. That morning, she'd been plotting something, Nazz just KNEW it. Something involving Double D and the play, no doubt. A sabotage of some sort, maybe? No, too obvious... May and Lee might go for the more direct approach, but Marie was less foolhardy. She'd plan and plot. Nazz had a feeling that whenever the Kankers put forth a plan, Marie was a guiding hand in it.
Nazz began to doodle in her notebook. Not the usual scribbles she'd make whenever she got bored, but tiny notes. Everything she knew about Marie, and what she might get from sabotaging this play. What angle would Marie play, and why?
Marie, herself, was busy clearing out her props. After her Edd had rushed out of the room in fright, his copy of the contract safely among his belongings, Marie had stood and waited. Once her Oven Mitt's panicked huffing had become mere background noise, she let out the loudest whoop of her life.
"Aw, YEAH!" she crowed, dancing a little bit. "Score one for team Kanker!" A few more seconds of dancing and whooping had followed, after which she calmed down with an excited giggle.
Everything was going according to plan! Everything was going her way! Alright, so maybe she hadn't expected Edd to change the contract, and in hindsight, she probably shouldn't have caved in. Odds were, he was gonna agree anyway, and now he'd think he could just talk back to her. But who gave a flying goddamn? She was in complete control!
She hugged her arms and let her gaze wander dreamily as she imagined all the things her Dreamboat would do for her during their dates.
He'd foot the bill, because he was polite and dumb like that. He'd open the door for her, and maybe she wouldn't smack it in his face as she passed by. He'd have to hold her hand, and she'd TRY not to crush his in her grip. And the best part was, he'd have to tell EVERYONE they were dating!
"Ooooh, it's gonna be SO romantic!" she purred, happy as the cat that caught the canary. It was with a light step and a giggle that she swept the rose petals into the boiler itself, incinerating them. Her giggle became a snicker, her snicker became a laugh, and her laugh became a cackle.
She had this in the bag.
"What is wrong, Go-Go Nazz girl?" Nazz was broken out of her reverie by the cheerful, if somewhat concerned, voice of Rolf. She looked up from her diagram, trying to make sense of her thoughts.
"Hmm?" she asked. "What's up, dude?"
"You have a look glummer than the sea cucumber did after the Great Nano was done trussing it up with the entrails of its own family! You worry this son of a shepherd. Tell Rolf what is wrong, yes?"
"Oh. It's nothing, Rolf. Don't worry about it, dude," she said, smiling at him. Then she turned back to her notebook and nibbled on her pencil. She still was nowhere near close to finding out what Marie was planning. She'd given her no clues to work with, damn the Kanker. Rolf peered over her shoulder.
"'Marie'? Rolf is confused. Is this not the blue-haired she-devil? The one who makes Victor cry?"
"I... I think so?" Nazz grimaced. She was never quite sure what to answer when Rolf was involved. "... Why does your goat cry?"
"The she-devil used him as a "butt-poker", in your mongrel tongue. Rolf can't figure out why not just steal Rolf's trusty pitchfork instead. It would be a much better butt-poker, yes?"
"I... guess it would, dude." Nazz turned back to her notebook, tuning out Rolf's list of complaints regarding the Kankers' treatment of his animals. She ignored his diatribe about Lee and May harassing the other students today. And she didn't hear him mention Double D standing in front of the boiler room earlier that day.
She frowned. This diagram was mocking her, she knew it.
Marie finished tidying up (which basically consisted of shoving all the furniture to one side and leaving it there for her sisters to sort out) a few minutes later. With a happy sigh, she turned down the boiler's heat. The room returned to its normal illumination as Marie sat down in a chair and propped up her feet on another. It would be a while before her sisters returned, she knew. They were busy hunting down the stragglers and bathroom-goers for spare lunch money.
Still, this gave her ample time to think. Something she felt she'd been missing out on lately. She knew she had a few minutes before she was needed to shadow Edd. Her heart skipped a beat at the idea. He had ASKED her to stalk him! Well, more like agreed to let her stalk him for security purposes, but the essence of the matter remained unchanged!
Marie closed her eyes and thought about Edd. About that funny gap between his teeth, at the nervous way he smiled, at how adorable he looked when he was terrified. It made her feel all happy inside to think, if she played her cards right, he could be HERS.
Enough laying around, she thought, jumping up. It's time to get working. Let's see... She counted off on her fingers. Made the document. Got him to sign the document. Cleaned up.
"Now," she murmured, "all I gotta do is frighten that cocky little jock into leaving my Oven Mitt alone." She grabbed her jacket from the chair she'd draped it on (HER chair, no matter what May claimed!) and put it on. She smiled nastily.
"Easy as pie."
Edd himself was in a less than jolly mood. The trip to the boiler room had taken a considerable toll on his composure. He had to stop running after a bit and just leaned against the lockers, catching his breath and hyperventilating a bit.
After a couple minutes, he could feel some of his composure come back, and he allowed himself to relax. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath and wondering how to get out of this corner. He supposed he'd have to go through the contract and hope Marie had left a loophole for him to exploit.
The bell rang, and out poured the students from the classrooms around him. Edd blinked in surprise. Had he really been in the boiler room for an entire period? Well, he supposed he HAD pored over the contract a few times... He unconsciously rubbed his hurt finger with his thumb. It smarted, but didn't hurt like before.
"Check it out, Plank!" Jonny's voice reached Edd's ears, and his head swam into view. "Double D looks like he just saw a ghost!" he laughed at his own joke, then held the piece of wood to his ear. "What's that, buddy?"
A moment passed, during which neither Jonny nor Edd moved. "Double D went where? Naw, buddy, you must've seen wrong! Ol' Double D's not so crazy as to go talk to the KANKERS. Not yet, at least. Give him a couple years, buddy, THEN he'll snap nice and good!" Jonny grinned widely, his eyes absolutely unnerving. Edd leaned back, pressing his back against the lockers. Ever since the event at Mondo-a-Go-Go, Jonny had been just a little bit... off. He often disappeared to god knows where, and kept talking about "the Gourd" and the revenge he'd get on all who opposed him. Edd wondered if Jonny was now religious.
Or insane. Edd supposed he could also be insane. "Nah, Jonny. Your piece of wood saw right." Edd's eyes widened at the new voice. Oh, dear, he thought. I wonder how my spine will feel shoved up my-
"As I was saying back in math class, Double D..." Kevin said, hooking his arm around Edd's shoulders, "we need to talk."
A few minutes later, both were sitting in the cafeteria. Their table was empty, thanks to Kevin making the previous occupants remember an important appointment... somewhere. It wasn't surprising. Kevin hadn't changed much, aside from the obvious muscle development. He'd also taken to wearing sleeveless t-shirts. Edd nervously nibbled his sandwich, while Kevin took a large bite out of his apple. The silence was cloistering. Edd swallowed, and heard the empty thunk of his food in his stomach. A few more seconds passed, broken only by the crunch of Kevin's apple.
Edd opened his mouth to talk.
"I want you to drop out of the play." Edd closed his mouth. Kevin had beat him to it.
"Kevin," Edd began, laying a hand on the jock's shoulder. He removed it quickly at the sharp glare from the latter. "I really don't underst-"
"What's there to understand, Double Dweeb?" Kevin interrupted. "I don't want you mackin' on my girl!"
"But I'm not, Kevin! Honest!" Edd was lying, and he knew it. But Kevin didn't. Edd didn't LIKE lying, but he didn't particularly enjoy the idea of breathing through a plastic tube, either. "I'm doing this for the extra credit, I promise you! I-I was strong-armed into it!" To his credit, Edd was smart enough to keep from mentioning Nazz herself had convinced him to do it.
Kevin sighed, exasperated. "Look, dude. I like you, alright? You're a good guy. I don't want to pound you, and you don't want to get pounded. Do us both a favor and drop out of this before it gets ugly."
"Kevin, I need that extra credit. I'm falling behind in Literature!" Edd tried to reason again. Kevin growled.
"Then get them to change the script!" He was almost at the end of his patience now. "I don't care what you do, or how you do it, but you keep your hands off of my girl, got it, dork?!" Kevin raised his fist for emphasis. Edd nodded frantically, his eyes bugging out of his head.
"I-I can't do a thing about it, Kev!" he held out his hands in a conciliatory fashion. "The teacher will never agree to change-"
"Well, you better think of something, smart guy! 'Cuz if you kiss Nazz even once more than is abso-fucking-lutely necessary, I'll REALLY let you have it!"
"Have what, Jock-boy?" a female voice broke in. Both boys' eyes widened in terror as Marie Kanker stepped behind Kevin's chair, her grin as predatory as ever. Lee and May stood behind her, chuckling and looking forward to the show. Sweat beaded on Kevin's brow, and Edd's body instinctively shrunk back at the sight of all three Kanker sisters.
"Um... that's, uh..." Kevin seemed to flounder a bit. Big and brawny he might be, but all three sisters? No one in their right mind would try to take those odds on. "So, uh... Double D, I'll see you later, yeah? Good talk, amigo, good talk!" he recovered by flashing a big, desperate grin, clapping Edd once in the arm, and "shooting" him with his fingers, before running out of the cafeteria as fast as his legs would carry him.
"Well, guess it's just us, huh, Muffin?" Marie crooned, sliding into Kevin's recently vacated seat. Edd gulped, pale as a sheet. He knew, intellectually, that he didn't have to fear her affections here, after the deal. But viscerally, he was writhing and squirming. Did he really have nothing to fear? Looking into Marie's eyes, he wasn't so sure about that anymore.
Marie inched closer to him, licking her lips. His sweating reached new levels when May seated herself on his other side.
"Quit hoggin' him, Marie!" she said hungrily, sliding closer and applying lipstick. "There's enough to go around!"
"Back off, May!" Marie's voice rose into a shrill yell. She wrapped her hands around Edd's head and yanked him away from May just as the blonde's lips smacked on empty air, where his cheek would've been. "This one's mine!"
"Shut up, Marie!" Lee growled. "There's enough man here to split up three-ways!" The three sisters continued to bicker over their prey, while Edd trembled and looked around frantically for an avenue of escape. Twice he tried to slip away, only for Marie to instinctively hold him back to her. The second time, she actually put him in a headlock.
"Gluck," he said eloquently. Marie glanced at him irritably and loosened her hold on his neck before turning back to Lee to answer her 'fat cow' comment with similar wit.
"HEY! Kankers!" Eddy's voice sounded out through the cafeteria. Everyone turned around to see him and Ed enter. Eddy was red with rage, while Ed was doing his best not to bolt. "Get off of Double D!" Edd made a mental note to buy him three jawbreakers later on. If they got out of this, of course. Behind Eddy, Ed peered into the room, frightened as always whenever the Kankers existed around him.
"Big Ed!" May called out, excited. Ed's eyes widened behind his glasses. He whimpered like a scared puppy, his eyes darting longingly for the hallway they'd just entered through.
"Steady there, Monobrow..." Eddy hissed, eyes locked with Lee. His knees were shaking, but he was doing his best not to show it. The eldest Kanker grinned nastily, her silver tooth on full display.
"Well, girls, looks like our meal came with a free delivery!" she said. Marie and May laughed at her joke raucously.
"Eddy! I don't think we can win this one!" Ed whispered. "They are the Mutant Harpies of Trebollon VI! They shoot blood from their eyes to defend themselves!"
"Lumpy, that's the dumbest thing I've ever-" Eddy was interrupted by a splattering of red fluid on his face. He turned back to the Kankers, disbelief etched on his face. Lee lowered the ketchup bottle and cackled.
"Figured you could use a little condimentin', little man! Now c'mere and give me a big wet kiss!"
"In your dreams, Kanker!" Eddy shot back, wiping the ketchup off of his face.
"I love it when they play hard to get," Lee murmured. Then she sprang forward, May close behind her.
"RUN AWAY!" Ed yelled at the top of his lungs, lifting Eddy over his head and barreling forward, past a surprised Lee and May, and snatching up Edd with his mouth.
"Oh, my," Edd managed to say, before he was yanked out of a wide-eyed Marie's grasp. Ed charged through several walls of the building, yelling all the while.
"After 'em!" Lee roared, leaping forward and following the path of destruction. May jumped up and ran behind her.
"Wait for me, Lee!" she called out. Marie ran behind her in silence. I have to admit, she thought as she navigated past the debris and dazed students left behind by Ed, that this was a lucky break. She really had had no clue how to get her Oven Mitt out of the situation he'd been in without breaking the contract's terms. This way, she'd managed to save face in front of both parties.
Besides, she thought as her grin grew wider and her eyes narrowed from the thrill of the chase. This way is much more fun.
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A/N: So, what'd you think? Still doing good? I'm a bit rusty, so please forgive any stylistic mistakes. Sorry about the weird formatting a bit ago. I'm not sure what was up with that. It should be fixed now. Please review, as any feedback is appreciated! And I hope you have an awesome day!