Okay, I've seen happy children before.
I've seen children excited, and polite.
But I have never, in all my thirty two years, seen a child as happy, as polite, as respectful and just as grateful as Kilee is.
Kilee lets Hallie, Brennan, Bailee and Tristen take her bed. She's using the guest bed right now because we're doing her bedroom and Tristen's bedroom tomorrow.
Well, Kilee and I are doing her bedroom tomorrow and Peeta is doing Tristen's bedroom, and we're moving the girls bedrooms.
The kids had fallen asleep in Kilee's bed, and she didn't come and get Peeta and I, instead, she lied down on the hardwood floor, in the winter, without a pillow or a blanket.
And now I stand in the doorway, watching them. She's shivering and asleep. I walk into the room and carry Tristen off to his crib, which we did set up today because we can't sleep anywhere else.
I pick up Brennan and bring him to his bed, and then do the same with Hallie and Bailee. Then I remake her bed, arrange the pillows, peel the covers back and kneel down beside her.
"Kilee," I whisper, running my fingers through her hair. She sits up, scooting away from me, looking scared, cold and exhausted for a moment. "It's okay, I won't hurt you honey." I whisper. "Go on, get in bed." I tell her. She stands up and looks at the bed. I rise, too.
"Where's the kids?" she asks.
"They're in their own beds. Go on now, go to sleep." I whisper. She crawls into the bed and I cover her up, brushing some hair out of her eyes.
"Mama?" She whispers.
"Hmm?" I ask.
"Thank you, for caring." Then her eyes close, and I can tell she's asleep.
I kiss her forehead. "You're welcome," I whisper. "I love you." I walk out of the room, shutting the door, but leaving it open just a crack. I sneak into Tristen's room and kiss his forehead. "I love you, Tristen," I whisper. He doesn't stir.
I sneak into Brennan's room, and kiss his forehead, and whisper I love him, and do the same to Hal and Bai.
I'm the only one up right now. Everyone else has fallen asleep.
I climb into bed with Peeta. He wakes up. "Where'd you go?" he mumbles, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me as close against him as he can.
"To check on the kids. Tristen, Bai, Bren and Hal took over Kilee's bed. She didn't even complain, she just slept on the floor. And then, when I moved the little ones and put her in her bed, she whispers 'Mama' and I asked, 'hmm?' and she goes…she goes 'thank you, for caring'."
"I'm glad we got both of them. I don't think I would ever forgive myself if we didn't." he whispers.
"I agree." I mumble.
We fall silent.
"Stay with me," I whisper right before I fall asleep. He nuzzles his nose into my neck.
"Always baby," he plants a kiss on my shoulder and sighs. "Always."
And then I'm out.
...9...
"Kat." Peeta wakes me. "Get up hon."
"Why?" I roll over and groan loudly.
"Come on, it's noon. We've waiting way to long to wake you and we probably won't finish until tomorrow or Monday." He says.
"Finish what!" I throw my pillow at him. "If you love me, you'll let me sleep!" I moan.
"I've let you sleep half the day away. Literally." Peeta says. "Come on, get up baby." He pats my thigh.
"No," I mumble.
"Fine." He lifts me up. I'm in a long sleeve shirt and pajama pants because it's below zero outside. I fall back asleep when I'm in his arms.
"Katniss, look down." He says, waking me. I look down and see that he has me hanging off the balcony.
I jump and begin to fall, but he grabs my wrist. "I'm going to kill you when I'm back on my feet, Peeta Ryan!" I shout at him. He pulls me back onto my feet and I shove him, gently of course.
"Wait…I want to have a serious conversation with you before we do all this work." He says.
"Hang on." I jog inside and pull the comforter off our bed. I go back to the balcony and wrap the blanket around the both of us. "Okay, go ahead." I say.
"Okay, so I just got off the phone with Macy." He says. Macy, the manager at our restaurant. "And people are complaining."
"Are we in debt? Are we-" I blurt before he cuts me off.
"No, we're not in any trouble like that…they're complaining because they live in other states and that location is the only location." He admits. "We need to expand…" he trails off.
"That means we have to go to every location for like…a few months each and expand." I mumble. "We can't do that with the kids and school. We'll never get time to be together."
He runs his hands through his hair.
"Your right…maybe…I guess I'll just have to go." He whispers.
"But me and the kids…we'll never see you."
"I'll come home for birthdays and holidays, Katniss. And it won't be forever. Just a year."
"A year…"
An entire year with Peeta only home for the holidays and birthdays.
A year. 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes and 31, 536,000 seconds.
"I'm really going to miss you Katniss, you and the kids. But we'll have so much money…and its just better for the family." He says. I take a deep breath and shuts my eyes for a moment.
"Your right." I open them. "But I'm going to miss you." I hug him.
...9...
"Can you even paint, Mama?" Kilee asks me.
"I painted Hallie's room with Peeta." I grin.
"Her room is only pink." She points out, grinning as well.
"Well it looks pretty good, don't you think?" I ask. She laughs.
"It looks excellent." She smiles.
"I thought so. So…lets paint!"
It starts with a roller, and the downgrades to a paintbrush.
And then Tristen, who is sitting right next to the paint bucket sticks his arm in the paint and makes a handprint on the wall. "Tristen!" Hallie groans. Peeta isn't with us. He's working with Finnick on the other rooms.
"Oh well." I stick my hand in the paint and rub it all over the wall.
"Mama!" Kilee exclaims, smiling.
"What honey? It washes off." I answer. She smiles and soaks her hands.
And then all of us are painting in paint.
"Mama!" Brennan exclaims. I bend down to his level and he puts a handprint on my cheek.
And everything turns into a paint war, filled with laughter and shrieks.
PEETA'S POV
I'm just finishing setting up Bailee's furniture in Hallie's room when I hear Katniss shriek and then Kilee laugh and then all the kids screaming.
Oh god. It's me and the guys working in the basement.
"Kilee!" Katniss laughs.
I don't know if I actually want to know. I get up and go upstairs, the curious guys behind me.
What is it with my wife and paint?
They're in a full blown paint war, and I'm suddenly overjoyed with myself for being smart and putting down plastic on the floor. Even Tristen is playing. He's giggling and throwing paint all over the place.
They didn't even get one wall done, and I can clearly see they used their hands to do most of what they did get done. I grit my teeth, not out of annoyance, but because I'm honestly not surprised.
KATNISS'S POV
I see Peeta in the doorway at the same time as the kids, and we freeze our movements. I'm dripping. We all are. Peeta's mouth opens and closes four times.
And then I grin and drag my hand down his cheek, his neck and his bare chest. He narrows his eyes.
"You're gonna pay for that." He seizes my wrist and throws me over his shoulder.
And the war resumes. I push him down on the paint and soak him with it. He fights me off, gently, all of us laughing. My knees slip and I fall on top of him, our bodies forming a T.
Then Kilee slips on me and falls on top of us, and then Hallie lays down on top of her, Brennan on her and Bailee on her. The family is watching in the doorway.
"This is a perfect family portrait!" Johanna walks into the room and lays Tristen down on top of Bailee.
"This is very uncomfortable." Peeta wheezes. It's hurting my boobs. Then the family forces us to smile and gives a thumb up to the camera.
"This is adorable!" Mama gushes.
"Can someone please help me!" Peeta groans.
"Nah, let's leave them." Johanna says. Everyone agrees and walks away.
"COME BACK!" I scream. "This is not helping my boobs!" I moan.
"Your boobs? What about my lungs!" Peeta exclaims.
"This is very uncomfortable." Kilee says.
"Mama! Get them off me!" Hallie screams. "GRANDMA! I NEED HELP!"
"Oh yeah kids, guilt trip Grandma." I say.
"Grandma!" Kilee screams. All of the kids start to screams for me mother.
"MOM!" I shout.
"Tell them they're killing the baby." Peeta says.
"What baby?" I ask.
"There isn't a baby, they just don't know that!" he says.
"MOM PLEASE! YOUR KILLING THE BABY!" Footstepscomes barreling down the hallway, and instead of my mother, Johanna walks into the room.
"Your knocked up, Brainless?" Johanna asks.
"Yes!" I exclaim.
"Well shit," she lifts the kids off and helps me up.
"Just kidding!" I snicker.
"Okay, don't fight." Peeta says, sitting up, rubbing his chest, stopping us before we can even start. "You all need to go bathe." He says.
We all get up and the kids go off in different directions. I just take a shower with Tristen and then let Peeta in. While he bathes, I put Tristen to sleep and lay him in his crib.
"Mama!" Hallie screams from the bathroom, where her, Bailee and Brennan are bathing. I walk in.
"Yes?" I ask.
"The paint won't get off me!" she whines. I help them scrub off the paint and then go down the hall and knock on the door to the bathroom Kilee is occupying.
"Yeah?" she calls.
"Can you get the paint off?" I ask. She's quiet for a moment.
"You can come in, Mama." She says. I open the bathroom door and slip inside. All the showers are glass, but I don't mind, and she doesn't seem to.
"Do I have it all out?" she asks.
"You have some in your hair," I tell her. She washes her hair again.
"Now?" she asks.
"Yeah, it's out." I say.
"Okay, thank you." she says.
"You're welcome." I smile. I head out of the bathroom and down the hall to Peeta and I's bedroom. I shut the door and walk right into the bathroom without knocking. He is nowhere near getting the paint off. It's all over the left side of his face, of his hair and all over his body.
"It won't come off!" he groans in frustration. I smirk and punch the lock.
"Let me help you."
…..a…..
We didn't have sex. We almost did, many times, but we didn't.
Because it's the middle of the day.
"Tonight we need to sneak out and go Christmas shopping. Kilee can just sleep in our bed tonight." Peeta whispers.
"Do you think she knows?" I whisper. "She's eleven Peeta, it's possible she knows. Someone at school told her, or she found out."
"I don't know…" he whispers. I sigh and walk out of the bathroom.
"Nap time," I say when I get downstairs.
"No! I'm not tired!" Hallie whines.
"Well I don't care. Let's go, all of you." Kilee starts to get up. "Not you, you don't need a nap." I say.
"Well…" she shrugs.
"That's not fair! Why doesn't Kilee have to take a nap!" Brennan whines.
"You like her more! I was here first!" Bailee says.
"Stop it, all of you. Your mother and I love all of you the same. Stop whining or you're in our room for the rest of the day. Kilee is older than all of you. She doesn't need a nap anymore, just like you won't, one day. Now go, upstairs to bed."
"But-" Hallie begins.
"What did I say about arguing?" Peeta cuts her off sternly. "Go."
"But Daddy-" Baille begins her sweet talk.
"Go!" Peeta shouts. Their faces contort in anger and the three of them scurry past.
"But Daddy, are you sure?" Brennan asks. Peeta whips around.
"Yes Brennan, go." I say before Peeta starts shouting.
He gets stressed out and pissed off when the kids don't listen, and it puts him in a pissed off mood for the rest of the day. He started screaming at Hallie for once because she told me to stop talking. The family was there when that happened. He had locked himself in our room for the rest of the day, and when I went up to bed, he asked me if he was a terrible person.
He hates yelling at the kids.
I told him he wasn't a terrible person for yelling at them because they're not going to learn a thing. If your nice and just talk to them instead of punishment, they're going to be used to a lecture instead of getting something taken from them.
Peeta exhales, and his face is red from anger at the fact that everyone is staring at him. "You guys have a whole room to look at!" He says in an irritated manner. Everyone looks away.
"Someone needs a nap more than the kids…" Johanna grumbles.
"You know what, you can leave." He snaps.
"No she can't. Don't leave Johanna. Come here, Peeta." I grab his hand and he starts to pull away, but I tug roughly, clearly telling him I'm making him come with me if he wants to or not.
"No Johanna, leave." Peeta snaps.
"No Johanna, don't leave." I drag him upstairs and slam our bedroom door. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I'm sorry." He exhales loudly. "I'm just stressed and I don't want to go away and I'm going to miss huge steps in Tristen's life and everyone was staring at me like I just hit the kids. Is it wrong of me to yell at them? I hate myself so much right now, they didn't even do anything and I shouted at them!" he continues to rant, and I push him down on the bed and tuck him in.
"Shhh, stop Peeta. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Shhh, calm down." I put my hands on his cheeks and run my thumbs across them. "Shh," I kiss him gently. "Shh, Johanna's right. You do need a nap. Go to sleep, I'll handle it." I plant multiple kisses on his forehead, running one hand through his hair in a soft motion while the other rests on his belly.
After a while, he drifts off to sleep. I kiss his forehead one last time and check on the kids. They're not in bed.
I'm not angry, and I'm not surprised.
I know that they're downstairs, sobbing.
I twirl my wedding band and engagement ring around my ring finger, get Tristen as he starts to cry and go downstairs, handing him to Johanna, who demands to have him.
I was right about them crying.
"He hates me Grandma! He hates me! Daddy hates me!" Brennan sobs on my mothers lap.
Nobody can console them.
"Come here," I say. They get up and walks over to me.
"He hates me Mama. Daddy hates me!" Bailee cries.
"No he doesn't. People have moments guys. This is one of Daddy's. He doesn't hate you. He'll be back to normal when he wakes up." Kilee speaks up.
"Your sister is right. Daddy loves all of you. All five very, very much. He'll be back to normal when he wakes. Just give him some time." I soothe.
"What if he doesn't go back to normal Mama? Is Daddy going to be like Andrew?" Hallie sniffs.
"No."
"Who's Andrew?" Kilee asks. Johanna starts filling Kilee in.
"He dropped Hal-"
"Shhh!" Johanna exclaims. Kilee silences.
….a….
I finally got the kids to sleep, and I carried them upstairs. It's seven and we haven't made dinner or anything.
Mama cut off in mid-sentence and then every goes dead silent, glaring at something over my shoulder. Not Kilee though. She's leaning onto my shoulder, half awake. I look behind me to see Peeta at the foot of the stairs. He's clearly ashamed of himself and he's silent.
"Stop or leave." I snap at everyone. "We've all made mistakes before. Stop pinning this against him. You guys don't even know the half of it."
"What is it, then?" Johanna demands. Peeta hesitantly moves into the living room and sits down next to me.
PEETA'S POV
Katniss looks to me, clearly asking if I want to tell them right now. I sigh.
"I'm going out of town for a year…I leave on January second and I'll only be stopping in for birthdays and holidays." I admit.
"Why?" Kilee demands.
KATNISS'S POV
"Because I have to for work." Peeta answers for her.
"An entire year? You're going to miss all the important stuff in Tristen's life!" Mama exclaims
"Why do you think he's getting upset for?" I snap, resting my left hand on Peeta's thigh, atop right hand. His left hand moves to my ring finger and he begins to play with the rings.
"I guess I can see why he shouted at the kids…" Haymitch says.
"Mmm hmm," I say, slightly annoyed.
"Where am I sleeping tonight?" Kilee asks. "I can sleep on the floor or the bathtub. Or outside, at least I'll have a house."
"You're sleeping in our bed." I say, running my fingers through her hair.
….s…..
"Babe, wake up, Katniss!" I sit up, and see Peeta standing at my beside, completely dressed even though its midnight.
"What?" I demand.
Then I remember I'm fully dressed.
Oh yeah, we have to go Christmas shopping.
"Why can't you just go?" I whisper, careful not to wake Kilee, who is right next to me. He sighs.
"Aright," he heads for the door.
Then I remember he's leaving for a year and this is probably the only alone time I'll have with him.
I jump up and hurriedly get ready and run downstairs while pulling on my coat. He stops when he sees me. "I changed my mind." I say when I get in the car.
"I was hoping you would." He says. "Okay, lets read these lists." He says.
"I'll start with Kilee." I say. "I took pictures of the stuff in her notebook and we'll just add to it." I say.
"Okay," he agrees.
"Alright…I'll read everything she doesn't have. A teddy bear, a bike, blue like the sky, posters of Debby Ryan, Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton and Christina Perri CD's…that's it." I say. She was destined to be my daughter if she loves Christina Perri.
"Okay…I say we do all of that…lets get her something else though…let's get her an iPod 4 or something. Or a five." He says.
"An iPod?" I repeat.
"Yeah I mean…she is 11, and if she has insternet she can text us and we'll be able to facetime…"
"Alright…lets not waste money on a four though because she's going to want an update soon enough, so lets just get her the five. The blue one, since its her favorite color." I say.
"I agree, but lets have Apple set it up with restrictions. I don't want her watching porn or something."
"She's eleven, Peeta." I say.
"I don't care! You know a four year old raped his two year old sister? We're getting restrictions on it!" He exclaims.
"Okay, I'm just saying she won't be watching porn." I say.
"I know she won't, because it will be restricted." He says. I sigh.
I don't say a work, I jusrt start writing down Kilee's new list.
"Now for the dreadful part." I grumble.
Every single year the kids want like eighty things, and the one year they didn't, the things they did want were so expensive that we spent a thousand dollars on each of them.
Peeta laughs. "Let's get this over with." He says.
"Okay, Hallie wants…I don't know what this means. It says D-E-S-P-I-C-B-L-E me too M-O-V-E-E." I say.
"Despicable me two the movie." Peeta says. "She wants that really bad, write that down." I write down on Kilee's list. "Okay, Crayons 200 piece case."
"That's 44 dollars. I looked it up the other day."
"For crayons? They're just going to break. We can get her the box with twelve." I say. I write that down. "Paper for the crayons, marker airbrush, walkie talkie, hungry hippos, big teddy, a green bean bag chair, a blue DSI, Barbie's and Ken, Barbie dolly house, it bob-what the hell is that?" I ask.
"It bob?" he repeats.
"It bob…"
"Maybe Bob It?" he asks.
"Bop it!" I exclaim. "That makes more sense.Okay, Barbie corvette, pink doctor kit, Barbie cruise ship…" I stare at what's next. "Shit Peeta, she wants a puppy." I say.
"What?" he takes the paper from my hand and reads it over, his eyes flicking to the road and back to the paper. "Dammit…whatever, we'll figure it out, keep reading."
"Okay…bitty baby, clothes for bitty baby, crib for bitty baby, stroller for bitty baby,m Julie Alright American doll, Julie bed, a lot of clothes for baby, baby alive with tons of diapers for baby to pee pee in, horsey…that's it." I say.
We start to pick out everything she's going to get, and after a very long discussion and argument, we head towards New York City and agree to let her get the DSI.
"Aw, look at this. Her note to Santa is 'Dar Santa, can you please get me everything on my list? I'll be your bestest friend.'." Peeta smiles and I laugh.
"Okay, what next?" he asks.
"Bailee's. She wants Despicable Me two, the airbrush thing, hungry hippie…" we both burst out laughing. "Hungry Hippo…fuck Peeta, she wants a puppy too." He sighs. We go through her list, and Brennan's.
He wants a puppy too. "Maybe we get them a stuffed dog?"
"No, Brennan speciffcally said 'a puppy that lives'," I say.
"Fuck…do you even want a dog?" he asks.
"No." I grumble. "I mean…I love dogs, but I don't want one."
"Maybe we should get them one and tell them they have to take care of it and if they don't it goes back to the pound." He says. I bite my lip.
"Alright," I sigh.
…az…
We didn't get home until noon, and we sneak everything into the basement in Peeta's closet, lock the doors and go upstairs.
"Where have you guys been?" Hallie demands.
"We were downstairs the whole time…" Peeta says. All the adults know where we were, but the kids don't.
"I want down there and nobody was there. I even called your name." Kilee insists.
"Well…" Peeta shrugs. "We didn't hear you…"
"Are we gonna do my room now?" she asks.
Dammit. I completely forgot that. I'm exhausted…
But I did go three days before…
"Alright…just give me a second."
I go and make a ton of coffee.
…a…
I'm just going downstairs to change the laundry over after doing Kailee's room just before going to bed when Hallie and the kids stop me.
"Mama, who is Santa supposed to find the house if it's not lit up?" Bailee asks.
"He knows where to go." I say.
"How though? If he can't see then he can't find the house."
"That's what Rudolph is for." I say.
"Mama, I don't think it will work. Can we light up the house? Please will you take us to the store so we can get decorations?" Kilee begs.
"I'm really tired guys…"
"But please? Santa can't come if he can't see where he's going Mama!" Brennan begs. I run a hand through my hair.
"Alright, fine, but I'm taking a nap first." I look at the clock. "Wave me up at five thirty and we'll go, okay?"
"It's three thirty though! That's two whole hours Mama!" Hallie whines.
"It's either two hours or we don't go at all." I say.
"Fine." She sits down on the floor and starts pouting. Peeta is standing in the doorway of the kitchen,and the rest of the family is watching because it's happening right in front of them.
"Quit pouting. Your seven years old, starts acting like it." I scold her. I stand her up and she sits right back down. "Fine, we're not going." I head for the stairs.
"No Mama! I'm playing!" she hugs my foot and sits down. "I'm playing Mama! We can wait 4 hours!" She begs. "Please! Santa can't come without lights, right guys?"
"Right! Please Mom?" Kilee asks.
"Please?" Brennan begs.
"Mama, please?" Bailee whines. Tristen makes noises, trying to say please.
"Get up." I say to Hallie. She stands up. "If you stop pouting forever. You can't ever pout every again. If you do, I'm going to take awayeverything Santa gives you."
"Everything?" she repeats.
"Everything," I confirm. "And the family are witnesses."
"Okay Mama, we'll wake you up at five thirty." Hallie says.
"Okay," I turn around and go upstairs. Peeta follows me, and I'm not even enveloped in his arms before I'm asleep.