CHAPTER 19

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Asum watched as next to him Okan shifted nervously from side to side before speaking. "when I came to Skyrim I was…angry. I'm not sure why, but I was. And I looked for any excuse to vent my anger. I picked fights, started brawls, even got locked up a few times. None of it mattered; the anger was still there. Then…..one day I was leaving windhelm, and this voice began to speak in my head. It told me of a place where I could vent my anger. Where I could battle and stand for something greater than anything I ever could have before." Asum watched as Okan closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "and blindly I followed it. It lead me to the shrine of Boethiah. I should have been repulsed, should have turned away and never gone back to that cursed and retched place." Okan stood up and began to pace the length of the room. "but I didn't…I….I felt….at peace there." Asum cocked his head. "what do you mean?"

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Okan sighed. "everything was so simple. No one cared who I I was, or what I had done. They didn't care who I talked to, who I killed, or who I fucked. None of it mattered so long as I did it in the name of Boethiah. And then…it happened. As the new year rolled around Boethiah declared that there would be a tournament to decide who her next champion would be. I fought, and I won until I stood alone before her statue and bowed in her honor. I put her ebony mail on my body and felt the anger that had lived inside me for so long blossom." Okan looked at Asum; who was startled to find there were tears in the argonian's eyes. "it felt…good. The anger gave me power. There wasn't a single thing or person in this world that I couldn't destroy if I wished to. But….Boethiah's power always comes with a price. She said, I had one last test. One final trial to see if I was truly worthy to be her champion."

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Okan turned away and stared at the floor for a while before speaking. "before…before I had become her champion, before I'd even talked to her….i didn't have many friends. A certainly none who really knew me….but…..Demus was…different." Okan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I think…I think I loved him. he was the only one. the only one from my village who didn't hate me for liking men. When I left black marsh…he came with me, gave me a place to stay, food….company." as Okan said the last word Asum nodded; he knew what 'company' Okan was referring to. "I never told him about Boethiah. I just…left that day. I never wrote, never tried to contact him. he just…..wasn't important anymore. So I couldn't understand why Boethiah had brought him to her shrine and had chained him to her obelisk."

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More tears began to fall from Okan's eyes and he continued. "she told me….to be her champion I could only be loyal to her; her and only her. I had to kill the last connection I had to my past." Moving from the bed, Asum walked up to Okan and pulled him into a hug. But Okan continued to speak. "he was bloody, beaten, and obviously scared. He pleaded with me to help him, to save him, he said…" Okan's shoulders shuddered as he tried to hold back several sobs. "he said….he loved me. He didn't care what trouble I was in, he'd find a way to fix it. To help me." Asum gripped Okan tighter and his sides began to tremble. "how could he say that? How could he only think of me when…when…." Okan broke off as he tightened his grip on Asum's body. "how could I do that? I know I had some bullshit reason back then. But….looking back on it; what reason could I have given? WHAT EXCUSE MAKES IT OK FOR ME TO KILL SOMEONE I LOVE?!"

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Asum flinched slightly as Okan shouted. Okan was silent for a moment before continuing. "I remember…..watching him; as he fell, watching his head hit the stone, his blood oozing out of his chest and staining the stone alter. I felt nothing as he looked up at me as he died. And yet….it was his last words that saved me. He told me….he forgave me." Asum looked up at Okan. "he loved you. he couldn't stay mad." Okan shrugged, and did his best t pull himself back together. "I don't know. But it shook me lose; those words lifted whatever spell I had been under. I saw for the first time what I had done; the bodies of the people I'd killed, the horror of it all. It just came…crashing down on me. I tore Boethiah's armor off me and ran, and I didn't stop running till I reached whiterun. I pleaded at the shrines of the gods, but they ignored me. I felt so alone. Now I really didn't have anyone to be with. I was drunk for a long time. Just trying to drown my sorrows away." Okan looked at Asum. "do you know what it's like to go to sleep at night and hope that you don't wake up? to wish that you would die in your sleep?"

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Breaking apart from Okan Asum looked at the older argonian for a moment before nodding. "yes." Okan's expression changed from sadness to alarm. "whe-" but Asum cut him off. "how long do you think I was held by those vampires? I was there for almost a week. I watched as they killed people; butchered them, ate them. and the whole time, I could only watch in horror." Okan didn't speak instead pulling Asum into another hug. "I'm so sorry Asum." They stayed like that for a while, their bodies connected in such a way that they did not need to speak any longer. Asum groaned as he felt Okan's claws gently rack his back. "I love you little one. I don't ever want to leave your side." Asum pulled back slightly and looked at Okan. "I don't want you to leave me." Okan bent down and lifted the younger argonian off the ground before crushing their lips together. "then I won't. I'll never leave your side." They'd fallen asleep after that; both of them being too emotionally and physically drained to do anything else.

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ASUM'S DREAM

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He was again standing on the stairs leading to the temple. And again he felt an unnatural urge to step up the stairs and enter the temple. As he moved he carefully watched the guards on either side of the door; normally they would grab him and push him down the steps; and yet this time when he reached for the door to temple they did not move. Pulling open the door Asum stepped through it only to find himself in a large cavernous room. Behind him the door closed on its own; for a moment he stood there letting his eyes adjust to the sudden gloom. As his eyes adjusted he found that he was not alone in the chamber. In the middle of the chamber floating in mid air sat a dark elf deep in meditation. After a moment Asum spoke. "hello?" the elf moved; his feet touching the ground and he slowly turned to face Asum. "hello Asum." Asum cocked his head to the side. "who are you?" the elf smiled weakly. "I'm Vivec…at least…..the last vessel to hold vivec's power. It is…nice to finally meet you." Asum shrugged. "I don't agree with that." Vivec shrugged. "to each their own."

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"why am I here?" Vivec again smiled weakly. "because the time is almost upon us. This is no mere dream. It is…..a crossing…..a point in time in which the past and the present have begun to mingle; if only for a few moments." Asum nodded slowly. "so I'm really here, in this room?" Vivec nodded. "yes. as of right now nothing you knew exists yet. Okan hasn't been born, Skyrim is still controlled by the nords, the thalmor are still just an idea in an elf's head. This is the power of Vivec; to control reality and all that lays under it." Asum nodded again. "then why do this? Why bring me here?" Vivec shrugged and began to pace back and forth talking as he did. "I'm not the first vessel of this power. And like the warrior umbra I no longer have my true name. to everyone else I am Vivec. But I am not Vivec. Vivec is the power that dwells within me. I have brought you here….so I might….warn you about Okan. About the danger he represents to you." Asum felt his head feathers flare in a bit of alarm. "Okan is no danger to me. he loves me!" the last few words came out as a bit of a shout; echoing off the walls of the chamber.

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Across from him Vivec sighed. "then the cycle has started again. Listen to me Asum, and understand what I say. Okan does not love you." Asum's head feather's flared even more. "yes he does!" but Vivec shook his head. "no he does not. He thinks he does; because his mind has no other way of processing what he feels for you. given enough time any and every mortal would feel this way for you. they cannot feel any other way about us. we….." Vivec seemed to struggle to find the right words before continuing. "we….enchant them. everything about us makes them look at us in awe. Our mere presence is like…an infection; the longer we are around them, the more they become infected. And the more infected they become the deeper their feelings become for us." Asum shook his head and took a step forward; for added effect he flared his head feathers to their full extent. "you're wrong. Okan loves me! And I love him!" Vivec only smiled. "I have no doubt you love him; you feeling for him are natural. He saved you, gave you kindness and love when you have known so little. In some ways he was the first person to acknowledge who you were."

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Asum swallowed noisily; Vivec was right. "but I'm here to tell you…..although you have feelings for him; feelings that run very deep; he does not feel the same way. He CANNOT feel the same way." Asum hissed. "how would you know?!" Vivec shook his head sadly. "because, Murag feels….felt the same way about me." Asum cocked his head. "who is Murag?" Vivec shrugged. "you know him by a different name; the Nerevarine. As for who he is…he is an orc and the 12 times great grandfather to Branka the dragonborn in your time." Vivec paused for a moment before speaking; his voice becoming sadder. "he also wishes to be…..my lover….and shamefully I have given him that desire…..on a few occasions." Asum cocked his head. "how is that shameful?" Vivec sighed again. "Because it leads him on. Because he believes that what he feels; he feels on his own. He does not; my presence makes him feel that way. It is not something he can control; just as he can no more stop the moon and sun from making their paths across the sky. It is shameful because despite knowing this is what he is experiencing…I allowed myself to feel it to. Allowed myself to feel truly loved, for a small time."

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Again Vivec paused and Asum shifted slightly uncomfortable as he watched Vivec wipe a few tears from his face. As vivec continued his voice changed back to its normal tone. "Okan is a way for your enemies to get to you. a way for them to twist and warp your emotions. It would be best for everyone if you stopped seeing him." Asum took an angry step forward. "back of elf. You know nothing about me or Okan. I love him, and he loves me!" Vivec smiled sadly at him. "if only you knew what I knew." A second later the world spun and Asum felt as though he were falling through the air. A moment later Asum sat bolt upright, his scales covered in ice cold sweat. Next to him Okan shifted and looked up at him. "Asum…are you ok?" Asum nodded and slowly lay back down. "yeah. I'm ok. I just…had a bad dream." Okan nodded and pulled Asum closer.

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SAVOS REN'S POV

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Savos staggered sideway clutching to the stone wall with all his might; for support. Across from him the strange female lf still stood. True he had managed to singe her clothing and she was no longer smirking, not since he'd figured out soul trap weakened her slightly. But he could tell his time was running out. his robes were torn, burn, frozen, and singed. His muscles ached and his body was rapidly running out of magic to use. Pulling himself into a standing position Savos groaned as he felt the enchantment of his robes kick in; helping to replenish his depleted magical stores. Taking a few deep breaths Savos staggered to his feet and back into a fighting stance. Across the courtyard the women spoke. "why do you still stand? You know you cannot win. Why bother to fight? Why not just lay down and die with dignity?" Savos shook his head. "because there is no dignity in laying down and dying."

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THE NEXT DAY

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Asum smiled at Okan as they left the inn and made their way towards the main gate of windhelm. They had talked it out over breakfast at the inn, and they had agreed to return back to whiterun. Leaving the city Asum tugged a fox pelt over his head to protect from the cold air. Next to him Okan smiled and wound his fingers through Asum's. smiling back at the older argonian, Asum followed Okan; just happy to have this moment with him

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In the back of his mind he could not help but fear that this would be the last time they would have peace; for a while.

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AN: WELL FOLKS CHAPTER 19 IS UP AND DONE. I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT.

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WHEN I PLAYED MORROWIND I COULD NOT HELP BUT FEEL THAT VIVEC WAS A BIT OF A JERK.

SO THAT IS WHY I PORTRAYED HIM LIKE THIS.

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I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD NEW YEARS