[Eddie's POV]

I feel restless. I can't help but continue pacing back and forth across the room. I groan to myself and plop down on the black leather sofa, letting my head fall forward into my hands. I swear that if something happened to Loren, my brain's going to shut down even more than it already has. Someone knocks on the heavy wooden door. I get up and run over, grateful for just something to do. A grin immediately makes its way onto my face.

"Pops! Hey, what're you doing here? I thought you had to meet up with someone." I give him a big hug and a few slaps on the back as well.

He grins sheepishly. "I did. But then something came up and she had to go home."

I tease him. "Oh, she, huh? Well, now I know why I haven't seen you around. But really, though, why are you here? I mean, I love ya, but I'm gonna see you tomorrow."

He hesitates for a split second before answering. "Well, that she happens to be Nora, Loren's mom. I'm not sure; she said she had to call Loren and then she seemed really flustered and worried when she came back and said she should go home. Do you have any idea..?" He trails off.

"Uh, yeah, Loren was here earlier. Ian came and scared her off, I think."

Pops laughs at this. "Oh, so that's what happened? I don't blame Nora for not trusting us rockstar-types, am I right?"

I just chuckle and shake my head.

He continues, "But really, are you okay? You seemed kind of anxious when I got here."

My mind is muddled for a second before I realize what he's talking about. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine now. I was just worried because Loren seemed a little off. And then later she didn't answer her phone when I called to make sure she got home alright."

By the time I finish talking, Pops is grinning at me strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing. It's just that I think you might be a little more into her than even I thought. Not that that's bad, Loren's a great girl."

I'm happy he approves and a little embarrassed I'm so easy to see through, but something doesn't settle right in his voice. "But..." I urge him on.

"But are you sure? You just got out of a bad breakup and I don't want you to hurt Loren. She's not used to this lifestyle and the paps haven't exactly cooled down yet."

I feel a little bit offended at this statement. I would never try to hurt Loren – I want to protect her from everything negative that L.A. brings with it, which I know happens to be a whole lot. I guess the slight hurt shows, because Pops immediately takes back his words.

"That's not what I meant. Eddie, I know you would never intentionally hurt anyone, but that's what I'm worried about. I'm just not sure that your head is completely clear yet. I don't want you to dive into something neither of you are ready for and both end up heartbroken."

I breathe out quietly, lost in deep thought. I was listening, and a lot more carefully than I was while the whole Chloe thing was going on – since it turned out my dad was right about that. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Loren or do anything we'll both regret. But I know that there's no way I can stay away from her either.

A nearly silent reply slips out of my mouth. "I can't do this." My voice is rough and cracks at the end.

Pops simply nods, knowing that I was talking about deciding, not possibly getting into a relationship with Loren. He gets up and gives me a soft pat on the shoulder before leaving me to think on my own.

I really, truly, honestly don't know what to do. I groan again, realizing that I'm in the same exact position I was in before my dad came in. I get up and deliberately avoid the beer on the table in front of me, instead grabbing a bottle of water.

My feet carry me over to the sleek black piano. I settle down and slide my fingers over the keys. Another deep breath and the music carries me away.

Yet a few minutes later, I'm stuck. Not with the music, but just my mind in general. Something doesn't seem quite right. I glance up and grasp why. My hands instinctively reach for the journal lying on top of a few scattered papers. I smile inwardly when I feel the front cover and flip open to the first page, reliving that moment when I realized that Loren and I had more of a connection than I first thought.

But that's not what I'm feeling now. Not the sweet emotion of a sparking new love, but the confusion of being in between loves. The slight bitterness of a possible mistake and misunderstanding.

you left me stranded here, in this desert alone
wrenched my heart apart, destroyed all I'd ever known
left me drowning in fear, gasping for breath
barely escaped the grasp of ice cold death

I'm surprised at how easily the anger and brutal, cruel emotions come pouring out. I push the guilt of maybe being too harsh out of my mind and continue letting my feeling flow out. I've kept them behind a wall in my head for too long.

you were ruthless, giving me no way to cope
no shoulder to lean on, run out of hope
you lied and cheated and broke my heart
but now I know that was just the start

you kept all your secrets, too many to count
but the one you hid the most, it's out there now
I know your weakness, and I can take you down
without leaving a trace, not making a sound

then I met someone else, she saved me
she sewed up my heart where you ripped it apart
she threw me a ring and pulled me in
helped me recover, helped me begin

I'm smiling now. I can't help but let a smile creep up onto my face whenever I think of Loren – the name feels so right on my tongue. Or Lo, I guess – it's sweet. Just like her. The thought flashes in my head before I realize. Before I can stop my heart from trying to dominate my brain and telling it what it wants and what to do.

changed my life, filled the hole in my soul
was that a mistake, or your intention, your goal
are your desperate words and regrets real, am I wrong
or were you truly just playing me all along

you kept all your secrets, too many to count
but the one you hid the most, it's out there now
I know your weakness, and I can take you down
without leaving a trace, not making a sound

I read back over what I wrote, silently singing the words in my head. The chorus sounds right, but something in it is missing. Something that doesn't fit into the puzzle correctly. I don't know what or why, but I do know that I'm going to figure it out. And soon.

I know it's been so long. I guess just got out of the mood to write… But I really wanted to put this song out there, and I couldn't do that without writing the chapter too. And I kinda got back into the groove once I started writing again. So maybe I'll update a little more?

Please review! - shimmeruponwishes