Naruto watched as Yamato-taicho left with the ANBU captain and the Hunter-Nin half an hour after sun-up. The mission - namely protect Tazuna until he finishes his bridge - had been allowed to continue once his meds and enough spare bottles to stock a pharmacy had been handed to Kakashi. Jiraiya had wanted to stay but, but had gone with the ANBU party after he requested that he make sure nothing bad happened to Yamato-taicho. Yamato may have had the creepiest stare besides that of Orochimaru but, he was a good man and had kept the Kyuubi from popping out at inopportune times during his training, completely exhausting himself in the process. Having the Sandaime angry at him wasn't something the poor man deserved, especially because it wasn't good for his health and possibly his continued existence depending on how pissed the Old Man was.
His punishment for scaring the rest of his team over the Antifreeze incident turned out to be that he had to listen to a long lecture about Ethylene Glycol, its intended uses - none of which were human consumption -, its effects on the normal human body, and why one shouldn't try and get their friends to drink it immediately after breakfast. On the punishment scale, it was just below getting his stomach pumped again.
It had been after Kakashi-Sensei had set them to reviewing the tree climbing exercise and seemingly ditched them - when in reality he was sticking to Tazuna and family like glue in case Zabuza showed up again as the Genin were perfectly safe with Naruto nearby - that he found his opportunity to talk to Sasuke about the future and why seeking vengeance is bad for one's health amongst other things.
"Hey, Sasuke. Would you mind coming here a bit, I have something to tell you." he said.
Sasuke looked at him warily, but dropped off the tree trunk and followed him deeper into the woods. Once they found an acceptable clearing, he sat down and indicated for Sasuke to do the same.
"Well, to start off with, the reason I couldn't tell you these things back in Konoha is because the walls have ears, and I didn't want to deal with interference from Shimura "I do incredibly evil things for the good of the village" Danzo who wouldn't want you to hear what I have to say. I am going to tell you the truth about some things that were hidden from you, as it would be much better getting it from me now instead of being tied up and forced to listen to Uchiha Madara's "Pity me, the poor misunderstood hero" version of it after Itachi dies. To start off with, I'm from about five years in the future. This is my second time going through this mission, though the last time around it went really, really differently. For one, Kakashi-sensei got a last minute refill on my meds in Konoha and actually remembered to give them to me." He started.
Sasuke sorta stared at him while he talked, looking as if he thought he was insane, but didn't move to leave. He took that as a sign to continue.
"Since Kakashi-sensei didn't give me the really neat clothes I've been wearing recently the last time around, I was stuck wearing that tracksuit with the Uzushio spiral on it rather than the Uzumaki clan marking. Because of this, the fights we had avoided because the Mist ninja noticed what clan I was from actually took place. Since the fight with the Demon Brothers was my first battle, I kinda got scared and forgot to use clones on them. You and Kakashi ended up beating them up and tying them to a tree fully clothed." he continued.
Sasuke made a Hn. noise as if he considered that scenario to be possible.
"We later met Momochi Zabuza after I nearly scared the poor rabbit to death much like the first time except that I wasn't in Super Hyper Mode. He did his whole grand entrance thing with the sword, which I kinda ruined. Instead of running off, he tried scaring the crap out of us with some sort of mist trick, then Kakashi-sensei told us how he got his nickname. There was this huge fight between him and Kakashi that ended when Haku stuck a couple senbon in Zabuza's neck and pretended he was dead. Kakashi-sensei passed out from overusing the Sharingan eye he keeps under his headband - by the way, how the hell did he get the Mangekyo Sharingan? I'm pretty sure I would have heard about it if he killed his best friend - and we carried him to Tazuna's house." he continued.
Sasuke seemed to have found this scenario to be plausible as well, though he looked a bit shocked when he mentioned that Kakashi had a Sharingan eye and a Mangekyo Shaningan no less.
"Kakashi-Sensei originally taught us the tree walking exercise today, as he'd pretty much been slacking off instead of training us because he decided he didn't like us because of some stupid prank I pulled, and actually supervised us despite the fact he was hobbling around on crutches rather than wandering off and leaving us to fend for ourselves. A few days from now, while I was trying to master the tree walking exercise, I met Haku who was dressed like a girl at the time while he was wandering around looking for medicinal herbs, and we became friends. A week from now there was this battle on the bridge. Kakashi-sensei and Zabuza were fighting each-other and you, I and Haku were fighting each-other while Sakura guarded Tazuna. Haku turned you into a pincushion when you jumped in front of an attack meant for me. I thought you died and sorta went nuts, and used some of the Nine-Tailed Fox's energy to defeat Haku. Haku told me how his father killed his mother and tried to kill him because he had a Kekkei Genkai, and how he met Zabuza who gave him a purpose in life. Haku then jumped in front of an attack meant for Zabuza and died. That's about when Gato showed up with his thugs intending to take all of us out because he never intended to pay Zabuza and Haku in the first place, and had been hoping we'd kill them. Zabuza ended up killing Gato before he died. About two seconds before Zabuza died, he admitted he saw Haku as something more than a tool and asked to be buried next to him. Inari and the villagers he managed to rally defeated the rest of the thugs who had decided to pillage the village because Zabuza killed their "Meal ticket". We went home after the bridge that I later learned was named after me was built." he said, finishing his summary of the mission as it had been.
"What does that have to do with this "truth" you're going to tell me?" Sasuke finally asked after staring at him as if he were nuts for a few minutes.
Apparently, he hadn't found the scenario to be as reasonable as he thought he had, despite the fact that that was how it had actually happened the last time around.
"Well, I figured Haku would want to hear about it considering the fact he's hiding in one of the trees over there spying on us. I guess he has nothing better to do since Zabuza's not injured this time around." he said, ignoring the faint gasp that came from the bushes behind him.
It seemed that Sakura had decided to join the eavesdropping party as well.
"As for the truth I'm going to tell you, the responsibility for the massacre of the Uchiha clan could be laid at the feet of Uchiha Madara, Shimura Danzo, Utatane Koharu, Mitokado Homura, and a large percentage of the Uchiha clan itself." He said.
Sasuke appeared to be considering his words, which seemed to be a good sign.
"It kinda all started when Madara had been forced to sign a peace treaty with the Senju by the rest of his clan. Despite the fact that he was pissed about the treaty that led to the founding of Konoha, he still expected to be named Hokage. This was not to be however, and he ended up throwing a huge hissy fit when Senju Hashirama was named Hokage instead of him, and left to cause chaos and destruction. At one point, he tried to kill the First Hokage with a giant Nine-Tailed Fox and failed miserably, nearly getting himself killed in the process." he continued.
Sasuke hned. Apparently, he'd heard a version of this story. Probably the one where Madara died at the end of that totally epic fight that had created the Valley of the End.
"Several decades later, Madara must've gotten bored or tired of controlling the Mizukage or something because he decided to try and destroy Konoha with the Nine-Tailed Fox. He failed at this as well because, my father sacrificed himself to seal the fox inside of me, kinda forgetting that I'd be left an orphan and that Jiraiya was completely irresponsible and incapable of taking care of a small child. In the aftermath of the attack, the village came to the logical conclusion that it must have been a Uchiha that had turned the Kyuubi loose on them as it had been an Uchiha who had been controlling the Kyuubi in the Valley of the End, and decided not to trust the Uchiha. Your father and a large percentage of the clan responded to this by proving themselves completely untrustworthy and planning a coup in which the Uchiha would take control of Konoha by force. The Old Man had learned of these plans and tried to come up with a peaceful solution because, if the Uchiha went ahead with their plans, they would spark a bloody civil war that would destroy the village, possibly the country, and maybe even start the Fourth Great Shinobi War." he continued.
Sasuke seemed to be having serious doubts about the validity of this portion of the tale.
"Your father and his co-conspirators refused to come to a peaceful agreement with the Hokage. It was then that Danzo and the Hokage's two former teammates/advisors ordered your pacifist brother whose loyalty was to the village as a whole rather than solely to the clan to wipe out the entire clan." he said.
This was probably the most important part of the story to Sasuke since it revealed the real reason why his brother had killed the clan. After hearing it, Sasuke sat there for a moment, seemingly unable to process what he'd just said or how to respond, but finally, seemed to come to the decision that he should say nothing. He took that as a sign to continue.
"It had been while Itachi was wondering how he would be able to complete his mission by himself even if he had the Mangekyo Sharingan that he had run into Madara who had shown up because he had yet again come up with another crazy scheme for destroying Konoha. Deciding to kill two birds with one stone, Itachi came to an agreement with Madara in which Madara would be allowed free range to get revenge on his clan for "turning their backs on him" as long as he left the rest of the village alone. When the time came, Itachi killed everyone who was involved in the planning of the coup while Madara just ran wild that night. Itachi couldn't kill you or allow you to be killed however, as you were his innocent beloved little brother. Instead, he put you under the Tsukuyomi so that you wouldn't see Madara making his escape and give the man reason to eliminate you as a witness, and so you would be motivated to kill him so you could become strong enough to take on Madara if the man ever tried to harm you. After the massacre, Itachi joined Madara's organization which is called the Akatsuki to keep an eye on Madara who, incidentally, was the one who started the whole killing people with Kekkei Genkai thing in Kiri while he'd been controlling the Mizukage, and keep him as far away from Konoha as he could get him." he finished.
Sasuke sat staring at him seemingly unable to say anything after he had finished. Sakura was sitting in her bush crying, undoubtedly over the poor wounded soul of Itachi who had been forced to kill his family for the sake of the village. He hoped to God that the girl didn't try to stalk Itachi when he showed up to make his attempt at capturing him, as that would not end well. Haku was sitting quietly in his tree knitting what looked to be a scarf with a pair of senbon, not bothering to hide anymore as he'd already been spotted and not been chased off or even told to leave. It looked rather relaxing. Maybe he should take up knitting as a hobby.
"Well, now that we've been pretty much brought to the present, I may as well give you some warnings based on mistakes you guys or rather the yous from the future made." he said.
Sasuke seemed to perk up or whatever at this. At least he wasn't looking as poleaxed as he had been moments earlier.
"You already know how this mission went since I already told you, and as it has been changed, I will just say to Haku that as long as you and Zabuza don't attack me, my team, or my mission objective and his family, I'll leave you alone. I actually like you Haku and would hate to have to kill you since you were rather nice to me the last time around, and used non-lethal force in your fight with me and Sasuke. As I have five years extra knowledge including a jutsu I invented to take out an S class missing nin about four years from now under my belt, it would be quite possible to kill the both of you this time around if I have to." he continued.
Haku nodded to acknowledge that he had heard his warning as he counted his stitches at the end of the row to make sure he hadn't dropped any.
"As for you Sasuke, I would advise you to not become a revenge obsessed asshole. But, if you feel you absolutely must, don't turn traitor to Konoha and/or make destroying it your goal in life. The poor people who are just trying to get on with their lives don't deserve to have them ended because of something that asshat Danzo and his pet councilors did. Joining Orochimaru is a very bad idea, and is very very wrong on so many levels." he said, turning to the boy who was still listening to him or at least appearing to.
"If Orochimaru manages to bite you and give you a curse seal, whatever you do, don't use it. Also, have a qualified seal master such as Jiraiya or the Old Man contain it as soon as humanly possible. Kakashi's good, but he isn't a master. If Orochimaru somehow gets a toehold and tries to take over your body, and you manage to absorb him rather than him taking control, run straight to Itachi as he has or would soon be able to get his hands on a solution to deal with the problem. The solution will involve severely stressing you out and exhausting you completely but, it would be worth it to be rid of Orochimaru. It will also quite likely kill Itachi in the process but, as he is already dying from some sort of disease and actually wants to commit suicide by younger brother, you shouldn't feel as guilty about it this time around. Whatever you do don't join Madara. That guy's a fucking lunatic and will quite likely turn on you if and when it suits his purposes, despite the fact that you're related and you'll bear a disturbingly striking resemblance to his brother in a few years. Seeing as that guy didn't have any problems killing your favorite baby cousin in his crib, you should be understandably wary of him." he said hoping that Sasuke wasn't still sitting there just to humor him and only pretending to listen as he appeared to have gone into his arrogant bastard default mode.
"If you ignore my advice and do end up joining Orochimaru for some insane reason, such as seeking revenge on Madara and the Council or something, don't sign the Apprenticeship Contract. After the other you breached the contract by er...consuming Orochimaru, no person in their right mind would train him even if he crawled to them on his hands and knees and promised daily blow jobs. Oddly enough, if Orochimaru had experimented on him, taken control of his body, consumed him via osmosis or some other means, or simply killed him in a fit of pique it wouldn't have been a breach of contract unless stated otherwise, which it hadn't been." he concluded.
"How would eating Orochimaru after he died be a breach of contract?" Sasuke asked looking puzzled.
"He was alive when you um, absorbed him." he replied.
"He was alive when I ate him?" Sasuke said looking shocked, horrified and disgusted.
He blinked, briefly taken aback by the fact that Sasuke was more concerned over the fact that Orochimaru had been alive at time of consumption rather than the fact that "Future Sasuke" had "eaten" him.
"Right. I forgot about the Uchiha funerary rites and why you should stay the hell away from any of the dishes that contain meat if you're ever invited to a funeral." he muttered to himself.
He'd learned about the funerary traditions firsthand when some old guy had insisted that he be allowed to attend his entire funeral and not just the public part that was for the benefit of any friends the deceased might have in the village when he was three. As only a Uchiha could consume an Uchiha since the tradition of eating the dead had something to do with nourishing the clan and ensuring that the deceased would be with them forever or something like that, there had been an adoption of some sort. While he was listed as Uchiha Uzumaki Naruto on some forms somewhere, that didn't stop the bastards from putting him back in the orphanage the instant the funeral was over.
While disturbing and rather disgusting from his point of view, it was just one of those clan quirks. Each clan had their own quirks, which included their own seemingly bizarre funerary traditions which had surprisingly practical origins. The Uchiha tradition had come about over several long, hard winters, one of which had been harder than the rest, and started off the beginnings of the tradition. The Inuzuka tradition of burying the deceased's dogs with the deceased even if they had to kill them first had its roots in the fact that while friendly to others, the dogs will bond with only one person and wouldn't fight alongside anyone else inside or outside of the clan without their partner present. In the past, it had been pretty common for a dog to stay at the graveside of its deceased companion refusing to eat until it starved to death. To spare the dog a slow death of starvation, it was decided that if the dog survived its companion's demise it would not be by long. He'd learned this after Inuzuka Hana's funeral.
From the barfing sound in the bush, it was a sure bet that Sakura was starting to reconsider becoming Mrs. Uchiha. Why the civilian born Ninja never seemed to consider these things when they tried to marry into a clan, he didn't know.
Tenzo wondered how he would breach a certain topic of discussion with Jiraiya. He and Kakashi had forgotten to ask what kind of future Jiraiya had come from last night. Pakkun's lecture on the multiverse had been informative and rather interesting, though extremely difficult to wrap his head around. Apparently, if a situation could go one way or another, it would go both ways. Each way would split off into a different universe. As situations could go many different ways, there were hundreds and thousands, possibly even millions of different universes breaking off every second adding to the already infinite multiverse.
Kakashi-sempai had come from a world where Sasuke had not stayed his hand at the Valley of the End, leaving Naruto dead rather than wounded. While Kakashi-sempai had ostensibly gotten his Mangekyo Sharingan from the same event as the Kakashi he knew and worked with on Team Kakashi three years later, it was under very different circumstances. This Kakashi-sempai hadn't come across a completely still and unbreathing Naruto who miraculously started breathing again when he picked him up to carry him home after standing there a couple of minutes blaming himself for the boy's death. This Kakashi-sempai had come across a dead Naruto who'd had his throat cut by a boy who months earlier had taken what he had thought to be a fatal attack for the boy.
What had it been like for Jiraiya? Had he lost his student before he had really gotten to know him, or had he lost his student after spending years on the road with him? Had Naruto released the Kyuubi much earlier, or had some other event entirely precipitated his journey through time? What horrors had Jiraiya seen that would make him desperate enough to try something that could just as easily be suicide as it could be time travel?
Edited 11-3-12