Hello :). Sorry I was not able to post an update yesterday. Had a sick little man who had a rough night...and Mommy usually gets her writing done after bedtime. Hope this short chapter doesn't disappoint too much. It may be a rough road ahead for our favorite couple, but I think you all know how my stories usually end. Thank you for sticking with me and all the kind reviews. I appreciate them more than I can say :) xo
Unbeknownst to Elsie, Charles had just arrived home and witnessed the entire scene. The Granthams car had picked him up at the station and they had just pulled in as he watched Elsie at the car with that Mr. Tavish. He had kissed her. She had smiled at him, flirted it seemed. And he had kissed her. His heart twisted into knots seeing her walk to the car on his arm. But when that man leaned in and kissed her cheek he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. It took every ounce of strength he possessed to not go over and pummel the man. Instead he walked into the house straight to his pantry and slammed the door behind him. Locking it for good measure. He didn't think anyone would dare approach him after he barged into the house in that state, but he would not risk it. He sunk into his chair staring at nothing. His eyes would not focus, his mind could not wrap around what he'd just seen, his heart felt like it was twisting in his chest. So it has happened. She has made her choice. He will never get the chance to clean up the mess he's made of them, that they made of their love. He hoped she would leave him be when she came back inside. That the others would warn her off before she came looking for him, but he knew she'd never be deterred. Had she ever been afraid of approaching him with anything...he thinks not. Even when he tried his hardest to keep her out, she would push down the barriers and let herself in. He was broken from his reverie by the gentle tapping at his door.
"Mr. Carson. Would you care for some tea?... Welcome home." Mrs. Patmore said kindly, as her knuckles rapped against the cold wood.
"No, thank you, Mrs. Patmore. I'm not feeling well at the moment." He managed, trying to pull himself out of the haze he was under.
Of course he wasn't, poor man. What had he seen? Beryl was at the door when Elsie walked in. Seeing the rows of luggage lining the halls, she knew that Charles had arrived. Her face lit up. "Where's Mr. Carson?" She asked looking at Beryl, a big smile across her face.
Beryl shook her head at Elsie. "Came storming in here not a minute ago. Locked himself up in his pantry. Said he's not feeling well." Beryl gave her a knowing look as she pointed towards the backdoor. "He must of seen you out there with him."
Elsie's hand flew up to her cheek. "Oh Beryl, he kissed me! Ian kissed my cheek!" There was a hint of panic in her voice as one hand stayed on her cheek and Beryl held the other. "What he must think? I have to speak to him. I have to tell him!" Elsie pulled away from beryl and headed towards Charles' pantry. She knocked lightly at the door. "Mr. Carson...Mr. Carson are you in there?" She said sweetly.
"Yes. Yes, Mrs. Hughes. Only... I'm a bit under the weather from the trip." He said quietly, his deep voice sounding through the door.
"Can I get you anything, Mr. Carson?" Her voice cracking slightly. Hurt he would not come to the door. That he was shutting her out.
His own tears fell down his cheeks listening to her sweet voice breaking as she said his name. "No thank you, Mrs. Hughes. I will speak with you later . I'm just... I'm going to rest a bit." He kept his voice firm and solid, despite feeling his world crumbling down around him.
"If you are certain. I'm glad you're home, Mr. Carson. Are you... Do you... Mr. Carson I.." She couldn't go on as she felt her grief and fear consume her. She turned and walked quickly towards her sitting room, careful not to be seen, as her tears began to fall. She let herself in and shut her door behind her, locking it as she rested her head against the cold, hard, wood. She shook as silent sobs wracked through her body. She thought of the letter, his words. He had asked her to be waiting for him. He begged her to choose him, to not walk out with Mr. Tavish. Had her foolish lapse of judgement ruined everything? Surely he'd give her a moment to explain what he'd witnessed. But it was her own fault, really. She chose to allow Ian Tavish into her life. Her vanity and ego being fed by his attention, flirting and flattery. Ian made her feel beautiful and desired, which ironically made her long for Charles even more. Elsie gathered her strength and pulled herself together, convinced she could fix things with Charles. Give him a proper welcome home and let him know he was the man she would choose. He had always been the only man she would ever want.
Charles did not bother to open his wine rota as he sat at his desk. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus on the pages in front of him. How would he ever be able to focus on anything again, but the absolute torture of realizing he'd lost the woman he loves most in the world. The pain he felt from seeing the confirmation of his worst fears, was still sharp as a knife . There was no doubt she was walking out with the man. He had kissed her. The image of Mr. Tavish smiling as he leaned down to kiss Elsie's face was still burned into his brain. What if she loved the man? It was a possibility his heart could not let him accept. How could he accept it? Without her, nothing in his life held any meaning. Regrets filled his heart. Why had he not fought for her? Why had he not sent the damn letter asking her to wait for him, to choose him? Picked up the phone and told her she was his whole world. His fear may have just cost him his happiness, but he would not allow his jealousy to ruin hers. If this man made her happy, truly happy. He would not stand in the way of her happiness...