He turned and walked away from her. It had nearly killed him inside to say those words to her. He knew they were right. That he should be wishing her all the happiness life could afford her. He only knew that if this was her path, he had no hope for any happiness of his own. He had never in his life loved like he did Elsie. She was the voice in his head, the beat of his heart, the breath in his lungs. She filled the spaces in him and made him whole. Could he honestly let her go without a fight?
Elsie could not bring herself to follow him. Instead she turned the opposite way and headed towards the village. She did not have a coat, nor hat, but the warmth of spring was comfortable enough for the short journey. Tears poured down her cheeks. She had no idea where she was going, she only knew she could not head back to the house. She could not face Charles again. He had hurt her, she had hurt him. She had no idea where they stood or who they were to each other anymore. Everything seemed like it was such a mess. Wen she arrived in the village she went to sit on the very bench where Ian had confessed his feelings for her. Was she a fool to refuse him? He was kind, generous, affectionate, handsome. He was, in short, everything a woman could ever want in a man. Yet she still could not bring herself to feel more for him than friendship. For she had already found everything she wanted in a man, in Charles Carson. She knew behind the blustering stubbornness and concrete walls, held a passionate and kind heart. But would he ever give it to her?
She was disturbed by a familiar voice. "Elsie. What are you doing here, Lass?"
Elsie looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and a quivering lip. "I couldn't stay there. Things are a mess, Ian."
"I suppose I am part of that problem. Oh I am sorry my sweet girl." He said, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands. "I wish you could feel differently. I wish he didn't have this hold on you."
"So do I..." She whispered quietly. "So do I."
...
After sitting a bit and chatting, then taking tea at the local tea shop, Ian offered Elsie a ride back to the Abbey. She was reluctant to accept, worrying what Charles would think if he saw them together again. But Ian would not accept a refusal now that the skies were beginning to darken. She wondered if Charles even cared where she was or what she was doing.
"Where is that blasted woman!"He thought as he made his way across the grounds for the second time this evening. He had checked the gardens, the lake, she was nowhere to be found. He went back to the house again. It was very likely she was up in one of the rooms going over her maids work. He went back to his pantry, leaving the door wide open so he could hear her if she should make her way back downstairs. He wasn't sure what he would say to her when he saw her next, he only knew he had to make things right. They couldn't go on in this manner. If anything they had been each others closest friend for many long years. He would make her see that. Show her the glimpses of the man he knew she loved.
...
Hours later, Charles was startled by the backdoor opening. He heard Elsie's Scottish brogue whisper down the hall. "Thank you, Ian. I best get inside now. Have a good evening."
"Again!" Charles raged in his mind as he stood at his desk. "Can the man not stay away!? Of course he couldn't." He thought. "Who would want to ever part from that beautiful creature once they go to know her."
He heard the deep teasing brogue that matched her own. "Come on now, what kind of friend would you be if you did not offer a hot drink before sending me back out there."
"Come along then." She laughed as he followed her inside.
Charles quickly walked out of his room, nearly running straight into Elsie as the couple made their way down the hall. His hands went to Elsie's upper arms to steady her just as Ian's did the same. The two men's hands touched and they both pulled back quickly. If there was anything Elsie Hughes disliked, it was an atmosphere. And that is certainly what they had all found themselves in.
"You're back, then." Charles said nervously, stating the obvious.
"Ahhh, Mr. Carson, Mr. Tavish. I believe you both remember meeting. Would you care to join us for some tea, Mr. Carson. Mr. Tavish has just given me a ride home from the village." Elsie said quickly. "Why don't you both go into the hall, I'll be back in just a moment."
Elsie hustled down the hallway and into her room where she could finally take a breath. How did she get herself into this mess?!
Charles walked into the servants hall as told. Wasn't he always doing exactly as she told him. Always taking her orders, bending to her will. And still it wasn't enough. She had to go out and dig up 'this one'. He turned to the man, willing himself to remain proper and courteous.
"So, Mr. Tavish. How are things at the Haxby estate?" Charles said politely, trying his hardest to hold back the sheer hatred and jealousy he felt towards the man.
"Quite well, Mr. Carson. Although I have been spending much of my time at Downton as of late." He chuckled and smiled smugly. He wanted to show this man his intentions. That he wanted Elsie and would stop at nothing to have her. He was now also thoroughly convinced this smug and pompous Butler was a more in love with Elsie than she suspected.
"So I've heard." Charles replied icily. The expression on his face making it clear how he felt about the man spending so much time in his domain. With his housekeeper.
"Elsie tells me you were in London for the season. Must be quite exciting to get away to the big city. Although there has been quite a bit of entertainment here this season. Elsie has been kind and welcoming... Very kind." He smiled slyly again. "But you must know that, being her 'Coworker' for so long."
Charles' fist clenched at his sides. This man was doing a fine job of provoking him. If he kept pushing, Charles didn't know if he would be able to hold back from knocking the mans teeth straight through his face. "That I do... 'ELSIE," he put emphasis on her name, the name he didn't dare speak to her face but felt appropriate to use as a weapon against this man in an attempt to put his claim on her, "and I have been very good friends for nearly twenty years now. In fact we were just discussing your 'new' friendship the other day, Mr. Tavish." Charles tried to bait him.
"Oh now, don't take it to heart too much, my man." Ian said a little too cockily for Charles' liking. "I'm sure you and Elsie will remain lifelong 'Friends', no matter where she goes, or what she decides to do." He added threateningly.
"Yes, Mr. Tavish, 'we' certainly will!" Charles said taking a step closer to the man, his voice deepened. "I am certain nothing will ever get in the way of Elsie and I."
They didn't know Elsie was just around the corner eavesdropping on the entire conversation. She held her hand over her mouth in an attempt to control herself from speaking. "Elsie!?" The man could not even call her by her name and yet can throw it about in some sort of twisted rutting match over her. She was livid! Once again Charles had her confused as ever and completely filled with anger! This man will be the death of me, she thought as she continued to listen. She heard Charles deep voice turn harsh as he answered Ian's taunting mention of their friendship. She rounded the corner quickly just as Charles was stepping towards Ian.
"Well, I'm back." She said smiling. "Shall we have our tea now? I hope you two got to know each other a bit better, I'm sure you have much in common."
"I truly doubt that." Charles muttered under his breath. As Ian stepped closer to Elsie.
"Ahhh. So you are. And a lovelier sight I have never seen." Ian smiled warmly at her, placing his hand on the small of her back to lead her to her seat. Which he gentlemanly pulled out for her to sit on.
"Oh, Ia..Mr. Tavish. You are too kind." Elsie said smiling. She wanted so badly for Charles to be jealous. She wanted him to see that she was wanted. An attractive woman to be desired and lusted after. She was afraid she would always remain the kind old housekeeper in his eyes, even if he loved her, it had been so many years since she felt he had wanted her. She knew he had once, many years ago. When they were both younger with more fire burning through them. She glanced up at him as he watched Ian place his hand on her and she could see the anger written all over his face. If only she knew for certain what the anger was for. She instantly felt guilty for using Ian in this way. Yes, he had taunted and teased Charles a bit, but she was sure he only did it out of jealousy. She knew where she stood with Ian. It was a comfortable feeling, but it was not love.
Charles burned with jealousy as he watched Ian place his hands on Elsie's back and hold her chair our for her. She smiled at him as the other man touched her. "The audacity" he thought. He felt as if she was toying with him. His Elsie would never be so cruel, would she? Charles couldn't keep his eyes off her and she smiled and chatted with both men. He also noticed Mr. Tavish could not keep his eyes off her. He imagined himself reaching over where the man sat, in HIS chair, next to HIS housekeeper, and closing his fingers around the mans throat. Certainly then he'd be able to stop his bloody staring and smiling. He could tell she was uncomfortable as she fidgeted in her seat, trying her hardest to give both men equal attention. Maybe he should up the game? What would she do then? He could hardly believe it himself when he slowly slid off his shoe and extended his foot under the table until it reached hers. She jumped slightly and glanced his way as he wrapped his foot around her delicate ankle and proceeded to caress gently across her sheer stockinged leg. He saw the flush rise in her cheeks and the rapid rise and fall of her beautiful chest. He was doing this to her. Causing her to feel this way.
She was shocked when she felt him under the table. His foot sliding so slowly along her leg. The simplest touch and she was already breathing heavily and imagining things she shouldn't. Her hands began to tremble a little and she nearly spilled her tea. "I'm so sorry. I'm getting very tired. I think it's time we say goodnight." She went to stand and nearly toppled over in her hurry.
Ian took her arm to steady her. "I guess so, my dear. Why don't you walk me to the door." He smiled and took her arm as Charles slipped his shoe back on and stood.
"Yes. Why don't you send off Mr. Tavish, I have some things we should go over in my pantry when you're done." Charles said smiling at Mr. Tavish. He felt power over the man now as he sent him on his way. "Good evening, Mr. Tavish. Do drive carefully." He said kindly as he imagined a hundred different ways to get rid of the man...