After much difficulty, Naomi finally agreed to take her medication. She couldn't stand feeling as horrible as she did. Intentionally killing herself over this plane ride wasn't worth it, but she realized almost too late. A few more trips to the toilet on the plane, a few more heaves of stomach bile, and even an irritated rip out of her IV; the two were in a taxi on their way to Stanford. Emily noticed the increasing amount of irritation in Naomi's voice and even body language. She wasn't willing to be touched in any sense of the word. Her hand pulled away when Emily tried to console her.
"Are we almost there?" The first sentence out of Naomi's mouth since about six hours ago. It sounded tired and cracked, just like how she looked. Emily wasn't sure how, but Naomi managed to look more pale and sickly than when they left. "Should be soon, do you need to stop anywhere?" Naomi's head hung back and touched the seat. "Please," her chest rose faster and Emily leaned forward. "Hospital?" Naomi nodded with a panicked look on her face. "Shit," Emily muttered. They were about an hour away from the University, but a hospital stay might be a better idea. The hours of flying, pressure building from the plane, and everything combined. They needed to get to an emergency room.
Emily lunged forward and tapped the taxi driver's shoulder. "Where's the nearest hospital?" Her voice rang through the car. "About five miles back? Do we need to turn around?" Emily nodded, buckling back up again. They were out of medication, since they were in such a rush to get off the plane Emily had forgotten the pack in the seat in front of her. She touched Naomi's knee, lucky this time she didn't pull away. "We're turning around and getting you to the ER okay?" Her hand curved around her kneecap and rubbed the delicate skin. She'll be okay. She'll be okay. They didn't leave the UK for nothing. With Naomi willing to try this trial, it was worth everything they had.
"$30.56," Emily pulled out the cash and handed over $40. "Keep the change." She quickly pulled Naomi from the car and saw the IV bag was nearing the end of its trail. She looked around for any staff outside. She spotted a few paramedics having a fag out near the emergency exit. "Oi… mind helping me. My girlfriend's…" Emily jogged between breaths until she caught up pointing behind her. Her eyes blurred seeing in the distance. Naomi's legs wobbled and she swayed until they couldn't hold her anymore. She collapsed on the ground, nearly hitting her head on the curb. "Fuck!" Her voice echoed and the paramedics were already working in action. Emily wasn't sure what to do. Her feet glued to the ground and her ears ringing while more paramedics asked her questions. She ignored them, mostly because she couldn't hear anything beside her heartbeat through her ears. She watched Naomi be lifted onto a stretcher and a hand respirator slip over her nose and mouth.
"Miss!" Emily snapped out of it, feeling her shoulders in the grasp of another person's hands. "What's your name?" Her voice struggled to make an appearance. "Emily," she still couldn't hear herself speak. "And what's her name?" He pointed in the direction of the paramedics wheeling Naomi through the emergency doors. "N-Naomi, m-my girlfriend, she-" He shook his head grabbing her arm and leading her inside. Emily was placed in the waiting room, along with a few papers to fill out. Like she could fill out fucking papers right now. A paramedic she recognized from outside walked passed and she stood chasing him down the hall before he actually heard her. "You don't know what's wrong with her, it's cancer. She was taking… uhm,"Emily rummaged in her pocket and pulled the receipt of the last batch of medication she had bought. Her hands shook vigorously. He grabbed the paper and nodded seeing the list of numerous medications. "How was she responding in the last 24 hours?" His voice was stern and unshaken. It terrified her. How could someone be so cold sounding?
"Uh… well on the plane she got sick a few times. Fever, shaking, sweat," Emily's voice trembled. "Is she okay? Can I see her?" He immediately shook his head. "She has to go in for treatment and with the condition she was in… there's no saying she'll be all right so soon. She'll be lucky if she makes it through the night." Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. After all their work and progress. After everything they had already been through. Emily shouldn't have pushed Naomi this far. She was selfish. She was wrong. Her chest caved and the paramedic walked through the double doors. Restricted access, flashed on a red sign. She couldn't even see her. What if she didn't make it now? She never got to say goodbye or that she loved her.
Standing in pure shock, Emily was directed by a nurse into the waiting room. Once more, the sheets of papers were handed to her. "Take your time," the nurse clarified and backed away like Emily had some sort of disease. Were people shit at comforting others in this town or what? Emily stared at the information on the charts. Symptoms. Insurance. Birthday. Name. Date. She only got as far as writing Naomi's name before her eyes started to water and drip onto the paperwork. "I can't do this," she whispered to herself and set the clipboard aside.
Emily moved down the hall with a feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes stared straight ahead and he legs floated down the hall evenly while her back stayed straight. She was on a personal mission. Find Naomi. Hall after hall, they seemed the same. Terminal unit? She decided against going there first. She couldn't stomach seeing Naomi back in there hooked up to a machine. Emily followed her gut. Turning down halls until her stomach twisted tightly into a knot. Her breathing shortened when she approached the window. Oxygen hooked up and a new IV, Naomi's head sat on the pillow stripped from her comforting hat. She looked exposed. She looked so terribly alone. Emily stared, feeling her teeth tremble behind her quivering lips.
Naomi's eyes opened upon a nurse coming in to check on her. She couldn't speak very well or clearly. Her head hurt if she moved, but Naomi still managed to catch Emily's eye through the glass window. Her eyes focused on Emily's while her lips tucked away so she wouldn't look as scared as she felt. She needed to stay brave, even if she knew this could be their final stop. The girls stared, frozen in time for this moment."I'm sorry," Naomi mouthed. Those two words caused Emily to cup her hand over her mouth and bend just a bit forward. Like she couldn't stand any longer. It hurt Naomi just as much as Emily showed. She was hurting her all over again and that did more than cause a broken heart.
Naomi felt choked up but again she needed to be strong. Emily could break down, but Naomi couldn't. She felt she owed something to her. This whole trip was for her; Naomi had given up the when she was told to be made comfortable. Actually, before that. Useless times alone in the new cold flat. Naomi weakly stared at Emily. She didn't produce any tears, even though it felt like the most appropriate time. Naomi was scared. She was scared of dying. She was scared for Emily and her mother. She was fucking terrified and no one could understand how she was feeling. Sure, they could ask if she was okay or comfortable. But they didn't understand. Anything she did could be her last. Her last word. Her last meal. Her last time hearing Emily's voice.
Emily put her hand on the window and Naomi swallowed hard. "I love you," Naomi mouthed clearly. Emily's fingers curled against the cold glass. She watched a nurse touch Emily's shoulder and lead her off in the distance. Not before the girl's eyes parted slowly. She watched the dark head of hair stroll, still looking back at her until she was out of her vision. Naomi finally sighed, exasperated, and lonely. She felt numb and exposed. No comfort in this white room with tubes running along her arms and under her nose. They didn't even let her wear her hat. All she wanted was her hat. Her hat and her Emily, but none of those things seemed to be an option.
This felt like the end of the road. What more could she do? Naomi felt like she had tried her hardest in life, but nothing seemed to work. Time after time, she was given the shit end of situation since college ended. Actually, since her and Emily got back from traveling. She was never too confident nor was she egotistical. What did she do to deserve all this? All Naomi wanted to do was make a difference and be someone important. Now, she was as important as a speck of dust. Slowly dying and being shut out from the world. She hated giving up. She even hated the feeling of wanting to give up. But now, her eyes were dulled and passionless. How could she put forth any effort to be whom she always wanted to be when life never even gave her a chance to live?
The nurse entered again and Naomi ignored her while she worked about the room. She didn't know this woman. Naomi missed her old doctors, even if they were useless pricks that gave false hope too often. At least they were nice. This woman was aloof and didn't care to even try to make Naomi comfortable. It felt as if they were waiting for her to keel over so they could have an open bed for the next poor soul. "Miss?"Naomi's voice croaked and she tried to clear her throat. "Can I trouble you for a pad of paper and a pen?"The woman stared, dumbfounded or just plain stupid. "Huh… didn't expect you to be British." Naomi didn't even have the strength to roll her eyes. "English, actually." The sarcasm made the nurse turn away and loudly grab what Naomi asked. "Here," Naomi sat up, slowly and weakly, but managed to hold the pen and paper. "Would you be my witness?" She asked, no shake in her voice and complete seriousness. It wasn't a 'just in case' situation anymore. This was now.