I'll Defend You If You'll Defend Me?
11
Summary: Becky Jackson is trying to survive high school the best that she can. While Santana Lopez is struggling to accept herself and be proud of the person she has become. Can these two people become friends and help each other succeed?
Pairings: Santana Lopez and Becky Jackson. Other pairings: Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez. Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce. Also other characters have small parts.
It's important to note, that I do not have Down syndrome, but I am "different". I know what it feels like to feel unworthy at time and like no matter what I try to do it's useless.
I hope you enjoy!
~ Puck ~
After the conversation with the Jacksons and everyone during their dinner, I laid in my bed and tossed and turned. I needed to go to sleep so that I could feel relief. I had so many emotions and feelings on my mind and in my heart. I wanted to get them out so for the first time, I actually wrote them down in a letter. I allowed my heart to guide my hand and this is what it came up with.
My Dearest Becky,
As I'm writing this I know and take some comfort in the fact that you are fast asleep dreaming about whatever it is you dream about. Can I tell you a secret? I hope you dream about me.
I know that you dream while you're awake too by giving the people around you your friendship, loyalty, and trust. You also reach for anything you want in your life and that is why I am inspired.
What I'm about to share with you are things about you and our possible future relationship.
Becky, I've always been a playa, one who didn't take the time to respect girls and make them feel proud that they are with me. In my mind, they were only good for one thing. I think I, unfortunately, learned this behavior from my father who instilled this in me and then left. When I was younger I used to hate him for leaving us high and dry. But as a family we overcame the situation and are a tighter family. I'm looking forward to introducing you to them. So I guess that everything does happen for a reason!
Becky, everything that I told your mother and father on the phone was the honest truth. I wasn't sugar coating anything nor was I trying to save my own ass. I've never felt anything like this before. To say that I have a crush on you is an understatement.
Ya remember when I said that you changed me from being a guy who just didn't care to someone who now sees a future ahead him? Well not only do I see my future, I can see our future too. Hope this doesn't frighten you.
I see us together in the future, beyond high school. I see us living our fairytale, one where we decide what we want and no one else. I promise you that I will stand by you, protect you, care for you, and guide you through our life together, if you allow me to. I'm hopeful for the first time in years, no my entire life. You make me want to be a better man.
You are my inspiration…you probably hear this a lot, but I truly do mean it. I mean it not necessarily because of everything you've had to endure which is a lot and I like you for that, but more so you are my inspiration because you've changed me, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, from a loser to a winner. I'm grateful everyday that you had the courage to ask me out. Remember our conversation at Breadstix about courage and how it's important to overcome obstacles? Well, my dear, I've found the courage to write this to you. I hope that you read my words and know that my actions will prove them.
So, before I end this letter to you, I have one important question to ask…Becky, will you be my girlfriend?
You're beginning to have my heart,
Noah.
Satisfied with my letter to her and I folded it three times and wrote "Becky" on the top of the paper. Then I put it on top of my notebook, which I've started to actually use.
I climbed back into bed and pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow I was sound asleep.
The next morning, I woke up and got ready for school. I left and drove to school. When I arrived, I took out the letter and gripped it tightly before I got out of my car. I was glad that it didn't tear into two pieces.
I took a deep breath and strode into school like I owned it. As soon as I saw her walk around a corner with a girl I didn't know, I yelled, "Yo, Jackson!"
Becky stopped, turned around, and smiled. "Yo, Puck…uh, I mean Noah!"
I ran up to her and almost knocked into her. I stopped myself in just enough time. I leaned down and kissed her cheek. She was surprised by it, but went with it. Her friend was shocked as she witnessed our interaction.
"Hey," I said and smiled at her friend.
"I'll see you later," Becky said as a hint to her friend to leave. She took it and waved at us and then walked away.
Once the girl was gone, I thrust her note out in front of her. "Oh, what's this," she asked kind of hesitantly.
"It's something I'd like you to read when you are in your first class, which…" I said and extended my arm and she looped hers inside mine.
We walked in silence. She kept looking at her feet while I kept my head up proudly. We got some strange looks and many girls sexily stared at me. For the first time, none of that mattered to me. All that did matter was Becky.
"Are you okay," I whispered to her.
"Um, sure, why?"
"You're looking down at your shoes a lot," I answered as we continued to walk.
She looked up and saw what I saw. People were envious of us. And I liked that feeling.
We arrived at her first class and she said, "Thank you, Noah!" She stood on her tippy toes and kissed me on my cheek for the first time. I felt my face blush.
She then turned around and into her class. I watched as she settled into her chair and unfolded her letter from me. Then I left to give her privacy.
~ Santana ~
After the first period of the day, I was walking to meet Rachel at her locker when all of a sudden I was yanked into an empty classroom and the door was slammed shut hard.
"Whoa! What the f-" I started to say, but recognized who it was before I finished my statement.
Becky didn't say anything. She just pulled me into a hug and began to sob hysterically in my arms.
"Becky? What's wrong? What happened? Who's ass do I need to kick? Talk to me please!" I said scared, angry, disoriented, and totally confused.
She picked her head up and looked me in my eyes. "He asked me to be his girlfriend!" she said as she started to cry again.
"Wait what?" I asked confused, but still held her in my arms.
Noah…ask…me…to be his…girlfriend," she said between sniffles and deep breathes.
"Ok, ok," I said as I massaged her back. "It's gonna be okay…"
After a few minutes, she calmed down enough to hand me the letter he had written her. "Read this," she insisted.
"Becky, that's personal…" I put my hand up in protest.
"Please, San, I'm scared," she insisted and thrust it into my hand.
"Ok," I said and I read it.
While I read it she moved to the window and looked out of it like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
When I finished it I folded it back up and handed it to her.
"Wow! So lemme guess you're afraid that if you say yes to him, he'll someday realize that he made a mistake and leave you because you see yourself as being different," I asked and walked to the window and stood next to her.
"BINGO!" she replied meekly. She turned to face me and I enveloped her in a tight hug.
"Honey, everyone is afraid of being left," I said as she sighed deeply in my arms. "I'm afraid that Rachel might one day realize that her feelings for me are gone and she'll just up and leave without an explanation."
"Why? You're fabulous!" she sniffled against my chest.
I chuckled. "Be that as it may, my dear, it's human nature…"
"I also think that I'm not worthy of having anyone love me, let alone have that person be Noah," she revealed.
I broke out of the hug and leaned forward a little to look into her eyes. "Becky Jackson, why'd you say something like that?"
"Because it's true," she argued.
"According to you. Do you know what you have?" I asked her.
"No, Santana, what do I have?" she smiled a little.
"You have five people who love you unconditionally and think you're freakin' awesome," I said and poked her nose.
"Haha! Okay, Santana, what do I do?" she asked.
"I'd talk to him about your concerns first. And then, based on what he says, what does your heart tell you to do, Becky?" I countered.
"Well, I think…"
"Yes?" I hung on to her every word.
"That I want to try. You see, I'm usually the one who write these," she said and held up the letter, "and usually it ends in failure…"
"Think positively," I offered, "Have you seen him since?"
"Nope, he walked me to my first class and I haven't seen him since," she said shyly, "Is that a bad sign?"
"No, honey, it isn't," I said and then said, "walk with me. Rachel's gonna think I got lost."
"Oh, Santana, I'm so sorry, I didn't think!"
"Hey, Jackson, it's alright, really…you and me are friends, remember?"
She nodded. "Yes, I do!"
We left the room, hand in hand. The bell had rung and we were bombarded with students who scurried to get to their next class. I never let go of her hand and she never left go of mine. I walked with her to her locker. Puck was leaning against it with a huge smile on his face when he spotted Becky.
Becky and I walked up to him. She opened her locker and he took out her books for her.
"Geez, Puck, you're whipped!" I said and after I made the sound effect of a cracking whip.
"Shouldn't you do this for yours," he retorted back with a grin.
"Oh, crap, she's waiting for me at her last class. You good?" I asked as I looked down at Becky.
"Super! Apologize for me," she said.
"Hey, stop it!" I demanded with a smile, "Laters!"
Before I left I leaned down and kissed her cheek.
She air kissed mine.
"Call me later," I asked.
"You got it, Dude!"
"Wow…a Full House reference…Ms. Pillsbury needs to bring her 'Uncle Jesse' lookin', dentist friend 'round more," I joked and smirked.
"Rachel," Puck reminded.
"Oh shit," I yelled as I ran off. I heard Puck and Becky cackle behind me.
~ Becky ~
After Santana scampered off, there was silence between Noah and me. He closed my locker and grabbed my hand as we walked to my next class.
"Did you read it?" he asked almost in a whisper.
"Yes, Noah, I did…"
"And?"
"Noah, you're a great guy…" I started.
"Nah, it's okay, Becky…"
"You gonna let me finish or not," I asked. He shut up immediately.
"As I was saying you is a great guy although I have two major concerns. One, is what happens when you get bored or you think you made a mistake and just up and leave?"
"Becky, I don't foresee that happening," he said.
"I didn't foresee any of this," I said as I raised our joined hands as we continued to walk down the hallway.
"Neither did I!"
"So it goes to say, 'shit happens'!"
He laughed heartily at my comment. "I'm not laughing at you. Just at the comment," he said.
"Oh I know, Noah! I guess I gotta let life guide me…"
"I agree. I want you to know that I will never intentionally hurt you," he said after he stopped laughing.
"I think I know that," I said humbly.
"Don't just think it, know it," he said.
"Okay."
"What's the other concern," he asked.
"Um, no, no."
"No, c'mon, I want you to have no fears or anything as you decide. What is it?"
"Am I worthy of you?" I said shyly.
This question made him stop dead in his tracks, which made the students behind us swerve around us. He looked down at me.
"I know…I know…we're not talking about the big picture, yet, but still I have doubts. Are you here cuz you think you need to be or are you here cuz you wanna be?"
"I'm asking you to be my girlfriend," he yelled so that some students would turn their heads, "because I wanna be here with you. And for no other reason…"
We continued to walk to class. When we got there, I went to let go of his hand, but he didn't let mine go. He led me into the room.
"Where's your seat?"
I was shocked so I pointed. We walked over to it and he put down my books and then pulled out my chair.
"Um, Mr. Puckerman, you know this isn't your class, right?" my teacher asked.
He nodded his head. Before he left he kissed me on my forehead and then whispered something.
I looked up at him and said, "What I didn't hear you?"
"You're totally worthy and beyond totally worth it…I'm gonna prove that to you, Becky Jackson!" he said as we looked into each other eyes.
He kissed my forehead once more before he smiled at me and left the room.
~ Puck ~
I got outside Becky's classroom door and felt oddly weak. I leaned against the wall for support.
My phone buzzed and I opened it to see the text message.
TO NOAH: yes, I'll be your girlfriend! 3
"Woo hoo!" I yelled as I ran like a crazy man down the hallway and into my next class. I realized that I wasn't prepared with my books, but I didn't care at that point.
I started to compose a mass text.
TO SANTANA – TO RACHEL – TO BRITTANY – TO QUINN: Becky's my official girlfriend! :-)
Within minutes, my phone buzzed.
TO PUCK: Mazel! – R.
TO PUCK: That's great! Congrats! – Q.
TO PUCK: aww…"Buckerman" is born. – Brittany
TO PUCK: Congrats! Don't "puck" it up! ~ S.
~ Mrs. Lopez ~
I had gotten home from grocery shopping and I knew that Rachel was in the house since all of their stuff was lying on the floor. I had an idea so I first went to the kitchen and unloaded and put away the groceries. Then I went up to Santana's room. The door was slightly ajar so I peeked in a little. Rachel and Santana were lying on her bed facing each other. They were in each other's arms. I was about to knock when I heard Santana say, "Rachel, you're my forever!" then I saw my daughter brush away a strand of Rachel's hair that had fallen over her eyes.
I saw Rachel kiss the tip of Santana's nose, look into her brown eyes, and say, "Santana, you're my forever!"
They pulled each other more and more into each other's arms. I felt like I intruded on a private moment so I knocked on the door.
"Come in," Santana said, but didn't untangle herself. Nor did Rachel.
"Um, hi, girls," I said apprehensively.
Rachel noticed this and tried to untangle herself from my daughter's grasp, but Santana wouldn't have it.
"Hi, Mom what's up," Santana asked like the situation was the most normal one in the world. I'm not a prude and she knew it. I actually liked seeing my daughter this happy.
"So, I have a thought," I said and smiled, "Tomorrow night, I'd like to have a big family dinner."
"We don't have a big family," my daughter said. It was obvious that she was preoccupied with her girlfriend.
"Yes, Santana, I know this. I was thinking the Berry's and us…" I concluded.
"Oh, that sounds perfect! Rachel," she said and looked into Rachel's eyes.
"Beyond wonderful," Rachel said and smiled.
"Great. Do you think 7pm is okay?" I said as I felt like the third wheel.
"Yes, Mrs. Lopez, seven is perfect for us. My fathers can't wait to meet both of you," Rachel said as she brushed her hand over Santana's one shoulder because she was lying on the other.
"Rachel…Rachel…" I said to get her attention.
"Yes," she said as she looked over at me and smiled.
"Please call me, Maribel!"
"Ok, thank you, Maribel. We are so excited. Thank you for hosting. Next time it'll be at our house."
"Ok, I'll see you later, I guess." I said as I started to leave the room.
"Hey, Mom," Santana said so I turned around.
"Yea?"
"Thank you for everything," she said humbly.
"You're very welcome. Not too late, girls, cuz you guys have a four-day weekend, I thought I'd officially invite you, Rachel, to stay over…" I said as I shut the door.
Second Author's Note: I believe in love. I believe that everyone, despite their backgrounds and what brought them to this specific time, deserves that one person who adds to them. In high school, many, many years ago I wanted to feel accepted, but I didn't. The friends that Becky has around her, I never really had. The unconditional love and friendship is something to be treasured. I'm living through Becky and experiencing everything that she is experiencing.
The experience that Puck and Becky are going through is what I'd love to experience for myself. I've never known the experience of being pursued. I am always the one doing the pursuing. I've never received a letter like Puck's to Becky. I've written many letters like that though.
I hope you can understand why I've chosen to allow Puck to pursue Becky. In the end, people like Becky and me just want one thing…to be accepted and loved just the way they are. The characters in this story are accepting of her.
Please leave me a review if you feel moved to.
The next chapter is going to be the Lopez/Berry dinner.
Thanks for reading.