I walked into the lunch room, feeling slightly proud of myself for what I was about to do. I spotted Hortencia sitting at the table with our other friends, and he was glaring at me as usual. I hoped he wouldn't look like that in a few minutes.

I tried to remember I was doing this for Logan and Hortencia, so that maybe they could see how great the other was and become amigos.

Suddenly, when I spotted Logan my heart dropped a little as I watched him keep his eyes down and focused on his food. He was just pushing everything around on his tray and he looked like something was really upsetting him. I think he knows how everyone is talking about him, and he must not like it very much. I don't think I could handle it if everyone avoided me and was too scared to talk to me.

As I approached Logan, he looked up at me and smiled. "Hey Los. I was beginning to wonder where you were." Logan chuckled and kept pushing the food around on his tray.

I sat down slowly and pushed my eyebrows together as I studied the way Logan was acting. His usual smile was missing, and in its place was a deep frown. His eyes, which were normally shining like he had stolen a thousand diamonds and made them into contacts were looking a little dull, like someone had stolen those diamonds I had grow to admire. And his dimples, the little hoyuelos, were missing from his cheeks. And I could tell his usually focused mind, was somewhere far, far away.

"Lo...what's bothering you...you look like your visiting some terrible memories." I relaxed my face and tried to show Lo that I was there for him. However, despite my attempts he just shook his head.

"Not yet Los...I can't tell you just yet. This isn't the right place...or the right time." He gave me a weak smile, "I-I don't want you to take this in the wrong way, but can we have a silent lunch together today. I know that's crazy to ask for because the cafeteria is so loud right now, but please?"

I couldn't say no to that face, to those dimples who were finally appearing, "Sure Lo. Anything that will help..but stop picking around your food and eat something..please..for me."

Logan sighed and looked down at his plate. "Sure Los. I'll eat a little." With that Logan shoveled a small forkful of macaroni into his mouth and took a small bite of his corndog. He looked up at me and I smiled before eating my own food. I continued to watch Logan for the rest of lunch and his mind never settled down. If anything, I could tell he was making himself more nervous.

"Lo, relax, take some breaths. Stop freaking yourself out...you're worrying me." I wanted to reach out and grab Logan's hand, but I knew it would be too far. Maybe if we were at my home or his, but not at school. I wouldn't want people to think we were together, or to make Hortencia more mad. Oh crap. I thought. I forgot all about Hortencia. I was scared to turn and look at him, fearful of the looks I would be getting from him now, especially after what he had told me this morning.

Hopefully one day I could get him to understand, I value all of my friendships. I didn't want to see any of them ruined. It didn't matter how old or new they were.

The bell rang and Logan smiled at me while gathering his things and standing up, "Thank you Los. I promise I'll be ready to talk to you about this soon. I just- I just want to make sure it doesn't sneak up on me again."

I pushed my eyebrows together again, as I went to speak to Logan he started talking again, "Don't worry Los. It'll make sense soon. So stop doing that thing where you analyze everything I do and say. You're my best friend here. I just hope you'll always be that for me.."

And in a second, Logan was walking away from me, and I knew he told me not to analyze anything, but as I gathered my own belongings and threw my lunch away, I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in that genius mind of his.

I couldn't get the dark haired boy off my mind as I walked through the hallway to my next class, only half aware of my surroundings. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to Lo in Texas that was so bad, he was terrified of losing me to it.

My mind ran a million miles a minutes. Bullies? Bad grades? A bad relationship? My heart sank at the thought. What if Logan had a serious girlfriend in Texas and she broke his heart? What if she decided she wanted him back and he went running and forgot all about me?

I mean, I didn't even know if Lo was gay, and here I was letting myself get carried away thinking that maybe just maybe his heart felt like mine when he was around me and that maybe when he was alone at night he was hoping that one day he could roll over into my chest and feel safe and loved. I shook my head as I walked into my next class. I knew that I liked Lo, but it was still so weird for me to feel like this. I hadn't even had very many crushes on girls I knew, so for me to feel so strongly towards Logan in a short amount of time...it was just kind of strange.

I tried pulling through the next class and soon I would be in class with Lo...our public speaking class was next. I was nervous. Would he even talk to me? I knew he wasn't mad at..but he had been really craving his own personal space today.

But not this morning..

My mind flashed to Lo's face as it laid on my chest and as he rubbed his eyes lazily. He had looked so handsome there. But most of all, he looked like he belonged to there. Waking up with me, and keeping me warm like that. I could be his oso de peluche [teddy bear].

I sighed when I realized I had spent the entire class doing exactly what I had wanted to avoid, worry over Logan. He had even asked me not to. I looked at the few notes I hd been able to scribble down and flipped the notebook closed before putting it in my backpack. I sighed as I picked up my backpack and walked as slowly as I could, careful to avoid Hortencia and our gossiping friends. I wasn't in the mood anymore and quite honestly I didn't understand why Hortencia was just so mean toward Lo. The only thing he had done was become my friend. Maybe all this time I had been wrong about my mejor amigo. I never thought Hortencia could be so hateful to someone.

I sighed and walked to my desk in the next room. As I took my seat next to Logan I was careful not to look at him. Somehow he was as good at reading me as I was at reading other people.

I heard him sigh and could see him lean closer to me, "Los, stop, I can tell you've been worried sick all class. Talk to me. Look at me..please."

That simple please made me meet those dark brown eyes, and for whatever reason I could feel myself getting really emotional, "I-I hate secrets Lo...they make me feel like I'm not trustworthy enough, I don't want to give you a reason to not trust me." I sighed, realizing I sounded pathetic. Lo didn't have to tell me his secret just because I was pathetic. Maybe this is why I had been single for the past few years.

"Los.." Logan reached out and put his hand on my arm giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze, "It isn't you buddy."

I sighed and nodded my head, and thankfully, walked into the room demanding all attention from the students. Logan moved his hand and I sighed quietly, missing the touch as soon as it was gone.

I really tried to focus during this class, I really did. But I could see Logan out of the corner of my eye. And I watched his usually busy pencil jot down a few notes here and there, and his usual bad boy facial expressions were much softer, and his thorough mind, that was usually analyzing everything said, still looked like it wasn't even in this state.

As I jotted down a few notes a small piece of paper landed on my desk. I glanced at it before slowly moving my hands up to it and open it. Walk home with me after school...please. I looked over at Logan and nodded and he gave me a small smile. I clutched onto the note and intentionally made sure to put it in my pocket after class.

Regardless of the situation, I was a bit of a romantic and I wanted to hold onto this bit of our friendship.

After the class I patted Logan on the3 back as I walked out of the classroom, I didn't want him to think I was mad at him just because I was stubborn. I heard him sigh as I walked by and I turned and looked at him, and our eyes met again, this time a little longer than they would usually, and with a little more feeling behind them I felt the familiar uneasy stirring in the pit of my stomach. I could see him trying to analyze my emotions. "Lo, I'm going to be here for you no matter what." I turned and walked out the door, still unsure about what Logan was so ashamed of, but confident that he would tell me soon, and that I could pull him out of whatever hole someone had thrown him in, and make him feel so much better.

I remembered what his mom had told me, I was one of his only friends, potentially his only friend. I'd make him feel like he had the best friend in the world, because he had become that for me in a short amount of time.

School was over and I was waiting by the sidewalk for Lo, my class was closer to the front door than his so I knew it might be a few minutes. As I waited I heard familiar laughter behind me and I fought the urge to turn around. Hortencia was really starting to wear me down with all his constant snickering behind my back and being angry with me. I could feel someone walk up behind me and I heard a familiar voice day, "Patético. Esperando a Logan probablemente. Sinceramente, si no te conociera mejor pensaría que él era su novio." [Pathetic. Waiting for Logan probably. Honestly, if I didn't know any better I'd think he was your boyfriend.]

I tensed up at the harsh words, and couldn't believe who was saying them, I turned to face my unexpected attacker, "Hortencia, Logan dejar fuera de esto. Si usted tiene un problema con que yo tenga un nuevo amigo, tal vez no debería haber sido siempre amigos. Logan no ha hecho nada a usted ni a nadie aquí. Quiere un amigo al igual que el resto de nosotros no. Si quieres dejar de ser un culo durante cinco mnutes tal vez habría visto que a estas alturas." [Hortencia, leave Logan out of this. If you have a problem with me having a new friend, maybe we shouldn't have ever been friends. Logan has done nothing to you or anyone else here. He wants a friend just like the rest of us do. If you would stop being an ass for five minutes maybe you would have seen that by now.]

I could feel my hands clenching up at my sides. I had never been so angry with Hortencia before. I never got angry at all. I always knew it was easier to just tell someone why they were upsetting you and talk it out instead of fighting, but Hortencia wasn't giving me much of a choice. I could feel the heat in my cheeks rising up, and not because I was blushing, but I was just really tired of Hortencia picking on Logan. Hortencia looked shocked by my sudden outburst, he knew I wasn;t one to be angry. He knew my papi had always taught me to be kind to others, even when they aren't so kind to you, but suddenly his eyes weren't on me anymore. They were focusing on something behind me, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at him.

I felt a hand on my shoulder giving me a reassuring squeeze, "Los, don't do it okay, he's your best friend."

I just shook my head, "Mi mejor amigo no es un burro." [My best friend isn't a jackass.] I turned around and began walking home, still pissed at Hortencia. Who does he think he is? I never thought I was better than someone else, just because of the way they dressed. I just didn't understand why Hortencia was so jealous of Logan.

I felt Logan walking behind me, and he stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking up, "You okay Los? I've uh..never seen you so angry at someone before."

I slowed down so Logan could walk beside me as I sighed and ran my hand over the top of my short hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry he's such an ass.."

Logan looked down at the ground and fooled around with his backpack straps again, "I'm sorry if I'm ruining your friendship.."

I stopped walking and pulled Logan into a hug, "You're not ruining anything. I love having you as my friend. Plus, my family loves having you as an extra brother." I smiled and began walking again.

"Do you think you have to get home quickly today?" Logan sounded uneasy as he looked ahead, his eyes doing that thing where they looked distant again.

"I can call Tomas and let him know I'll be home later, my abuela will help him with the girls until mom gets home."

"Well please do that...I think it's time you know a few things."

I sat across from Loan in his kitchen, He had poured us both a little orange juice and right now he was looking like he wanted to throw up. "Lo calm down" I reached across the table and placed my hand on his for a few seconds, "You don't have to tell me if you aren't ready.."

Logan shook his head, "No I want you to know." He stayed quiet for a few minutes before beginning his story:

It was freshman year of high school, and a nerdy Logan was walking through the halls watching as he saw a few familiar faces and a few not so familiar. Logan was careful to avoid any of the jocks and bigger kids. He sighed as he opened his locker and grabbed the books he would need for his upper level classes.

When he began walking again Logan noticed all the people in the hallway. Envious of their friendships. Logan didn't really have many people he felt comfortable talking to here, and he mostly kept to himself.

As he shuffled down the hallway he could hear a familiar voice that made him shrink up. He pushed the glasses up on his face and walked a little faster, hoping he could avoid the torment before it started.

Suddenly, he was up against a locker, and a familiar grin was on his face, "Where are you off to in a hurry fag?"

Logan cringed at the name, "Just going to class Kendall." Logan's voice was barely a whisper.

"Sure you aren't going to sneak off with your boyfriend Diamond? Oh that's right he dumped you."

Logan just shook his head, really hoping Kendall would put him down soon. Logan knew Kendall had a pretty rough childhood. Rumors were all over the school that Kendall's dad had been abusive to his mom and him as he had grown up. Logan was sure his father would still be abusive had it not been for the fact that Kendall's dad had died due to a heart attack a few years ago.

Logan had tried to keep him and James a secret, but his now ex-boyfriend, hadn't shared the same concerns as he. James had wanted to show off his boyfriend, but felt like Logan was ashamed of him. However, that was furthest from the truth. Logan knew his boyfriend was way more attractive than him, and James could date anyone in this school that he wanted. He had a magnetic personality. Everyone was drawn to him, and very few ill words were ever spoken about him.

When news had gotten out about James and Logan, due to a few occurrences of PDA in the hallways, the attention had grown to be too much for Logan. He was still adjusting to the thought of everyone knowing he was gay, not just his parents. He was frightened it would change everything.

Now as his back was pressed up against a locker and Kendall Knight was sneering in his face, Logan couldn't help but feel he was right. Ever since "coming out" or well as he liked to believe, after being "dragged out" by James, Kendall Knight had managed to make Logan his new punching bag, both for his fists and his insults.

Logan closed his eyes tight as Kendall went on, calling him a fag and a queer, saying he would never find true love, and that the only person who love him was his mother, and tried to go to a happier place in his mind.

In his mind, Logan pictured someone coming to save him from Kendall. A friend. A true friend who would stick up for him. Someone who wouldn't mind that he wasn't ready for everyone to know he was gay, but who also wouldn't mind that Logan was gay.

Logan's happy place was interrupted by a quick blow to the stomach and he groaned as Knight dropped him to the floor. Logan held in the tears as he tried to ignore the pain in his stomach as he grabbed his backpack and walked down the hallway again, ignoring the laughter coming from Knight and the stares from his peers.

The rest of freshman year went on this way, Knight bullying Logan and Logan trying to hide the bruises to his self esteem and body from his mother who was growing worried about him. Somehow, despite the thoughts of James and Kendall, Logan managed to stay ahead in his classes. School was the only thing that kept him sane. He just focused more and more on his books, and Logan was sure that in a few years college would be his only way away from this life.

But over the summer his dad was promoted, which meant his family would be moving. Logan tried to hide the joy from his mother but he couldn't suppress it for very long. He was finally going to get away from the cause of his heartbreak and the cause of his tears at night.

The night he moved into the new house, Logan vowed to himself he would not repeat the same mistakes. No one would know he was gay and he was sure he would be able to keep it a secret if he looked like someone no one would want to mess with. So he was able to convince his mom to take him shopping for an edgier wardrobe and she said she would do her best to keep his secret. She didn't want to see her son go back to that place, the place where he cried himself to sleep because the kids at school were mean to him.

Logan stopped his story and realized he had been digging his nails into his thighs as he had been talking. As he released his grip on his thighs he slowly looked up at me, I smiled at him, and stood up and ran around to his side of the table and gave him a hug. "Lo I would never think any different of you because you're gay." I tried my best to hide how overjoyed I was that Logan could potentially like me. "And of course I won't tell a soul! You can come out here when you're ready, and if you're never ready...so be it."

Logan smiled and wrapped his arms around me, he buried his face into my neck and I could feel him begin to cry, "Tha-Thank you Los. This really means a lot to me."