It was Saturday. Today was the day. The day that James, Logan, and I were going to meet up and have dinner together at a small diner in town. I sighed as I opened my closet and debated on what to wear. Lo hadn't really told me how James dressed so I didn't know what I was up for with the competition.

I decided to dress like myself as I pulled out a black v-neck and a pair of khaki shorts. I sat on my bed as I slipped on a pair of black socks and my favorite (not to mention lucky) red vans my Papi had bought me. I slipped into the bathroom to brush my teeth and smiled at my reflection in the mirror.

I looked at myself again before heading out of the bathroom and grabbing my cell phone. I sent Logan a text saying I was on my way to the diner before getting to my mom's car. She smiled at me as we both climbed in. "Are you excited to meet Logan's friend Carlos?"

I paused, not wanting to lie to my mother, but at the same time I didn't want her to worry all night. "Um, I'm not sure mom...This friend could change everything..."

My mom nodded as she drove. She glanced over at me and offered me a warm smile, "Well sol [sunshine], even if it isn't easy, it's something Logan needs right?"

I thought about that before nodding my head, "I guess you're right. He needs to have more closure from James. I mean..I guess Logan isn't really mine to begin with. But if James has as much affect on Lo as I think he does our friendship might be in trouble." I sighed as my mom reached over and grabbed my hand gently and offered me a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't think Logan would let this James ruin your friendship Carlos. I can tell he cares about you very much."

"Thank you madre.." I turned to look out of the window and the rest of the drive was only filled with the sound of the occasional car horn and the wind in my ears.

When we pulled up at the diner I checked my phone again to see that Logan had texted me a few minutes before saying he and James were inside and for me not to be nervous.

I said goodbye to my madre as I slowly stepped out of the car and into the diner. I took a deep breath as I began looking for Logan and I smiled as I found him. Our eyes met and he waved at me. I walked over and said hey to him before climbing into the seat with him. Non one else was at the table so I looked around a bit before turning back to Logan, "I thought you said James was here."

Logan's face fell a bit as he spoke up, "He's here, he just ran to the bathroom."

I nodded at him as I picked up a menu and began to look it over. "Have you guys ordered or anything?"

Logan shook his head, "Nope, we just got here ourselves. Plus I wanted to wait for you."

I smiled as I finished looking through everything, just as I was about to decide someone sat down across from us and I couldn't help but look up. I honestly hoped my mouth hadn't fallen open, James was really handsome.

His chestnut hair was cut short on the sides and a little longer on the top. He had hazel eyes that were shinning as he extended a hand out to me. And that smile, fuck. Now I knew why it was hard for Logan to let this boy go. He was gorgeous.

"Hey Carlos, I'm James Diamond."

I tried to return the firm grasp that James had on my hand. "Nice to finally meet you James." I tried to sound as sincere as I could but immediately my hopes were falling.

There was no way Lo would pick me over this guy. I mean so far, James didn't seem malicious, he was just friendly. He picked his menu up and looked it over before our waitress came over and I noticed Lo was a little tense next to me. I didn't want to risk saying anything so I picked my phone up and sent him a short text,

Calm down Lo. It's okay.

I sent the message and a few seconds later Logan's phone was buzzing. He scrambled to pick it up and I felt him let out a sigh of relief next to me as he put his phone back down. He looked over at me and smiled. "So what are you getting Los?"

At the sound of the nickname I could have sworn I saw James peek over his menu at us, but I wasn't so sure. I looked back at the menu before looking back at Logan, "I'm going to get a double waffle and scrambled eggs."

Logan nodded his head, "I think I'm going to get a cheeseburger"

I chuckled and playfully bumped into his side, "Of course you are."

"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" Logan wrinkled up his nose as he pretended to be offended at my comment.

"You always get cheeseburgers." I stuck my tongue out and laughed a little more.

James sat his menu down and immediately Logan tensed up a little as he looked across the table at his old friend, "So James, this is the question of the day, what are you getting?" James chuckled, and I instantly knew I hated that sound because it was perfect. I could see Logan start to blush and I immediately felt a little down again.

"I'm probably going to do breakfast like Carlos...but I think I want an omelet with cheese and bacon and a side of hashbrowns."

"Oh that does sound good..." Logan mumbled.

I looked down at my hands as Logan and James began discussing their favorite breakfast foods and it took everything in me not to sigh out loud when James mentioned how he remembered exactly how Logan liked his eggs in the morning, "Fried for thirty seconds even with a sprinkle of pepper on top."

Logan chuckled and nodded his head, "Yeah, yeah. That's not so weird compared to you and how you like your eggs mister 'I like scrambled eggs that aren't too scrambled with a slice of American cheese melted on the top then a dash of pepper and like three grains of salt'"

James and Logan continued to chuckle together, "That's not too weird! Plus when you tried it you admitted it was one of the best ways you've ever had eggs!"

"Wait." Lo looked over at me, "Is there any particular way you like your eggs Los?"

I shook my head, "As long as they're scrambled I'll eat them." I tried to chuckle a little bit but it was obviously forced.

Thankfully, our waitress came over and took everyone's drink and food orders before walking off again. I couldn't help but notice her double take in James's direction and apparently I wasn't the only one. When she walked away Logan sighed, "Still getting checked out by girls I see."

James gave a small nod, "Yeah...but you know I don't pay any attention to it. I didn't even notice until you just said something.."

"I guess some things just don't change."

"Some things can.."

And here I was. Sitting awkwardly as the third wheel when the conversation about eggs got very personal very quickly.

I watched as Logan and James's eyes met and even I had a hard time trying to convince myself that there wasn't something there between the two of them. I saw Logan shake his head, as if he was releasing himself from some sort of trance. He looked over at me and smiled.

With that I tried to relax and smile back. But after witnessing what I just had, I knew Lo still had some unresolved feelings for James and James moving so close was going to change things. With James thousands of miles away in Texas it was easy for Logan to tell himself he didn't need James to make him happy, but now, when James was less than 100 miles away, things were different.

I sighed as we all sat in an awkward silence before speaking up, "So James..do you play sports or anything?"

James looked at me and he seemed a little surprised I was trying to make conversation, but non the less he smiled at me and spoke up. "I played hockey in Texas, I don't think I'll play it here though."

"You should!" Logan smiled and blushed a little, "You were really good at it back home.."

James nodded and smiled at Logan, my stomach twisted as I felt like a third wheel again, "Yeah but you know how much time it took out of my schedule! I don't want it to be a problem again if I have better priorities..."

If at all possible, Logan's blush deepened as he looked down at the table and fiddled with his hands. "Well your homework is important..."

"Logan..." James spoke softly, I almost didn't hear him call for the boy beside me.

"Not now James." Logan was firm and James looked at him a bit before sighing and looking over at me again.

"Do you play any sports?" His voice still gentle, but not how it had been for Logan.

I shook my head gently, "Nah, I don't have time. I take care of my two little sisters and brother while my mom is at work...and I have to help her with them when she isn't at work." I smiled a little thinking of Tomas, Lali, and Lia, knowing they were probably at home eating some of mom's delicious home cooked food and talking excitedly about how they spent their Saturday.

James nodded his head, "That's pretty awesome you have so many siblings. I'm an only child so it was pretty lonely growing up sometimes when my friend weren't around."

Once again I was saved by the waitress as she brought over all our food and drinks. She looked over at James and batted her eyelashes at him, asking if there was anything else she could do. James simply shook his head and said "Everything looks great."

I glanced over at Logan just in time to catch him rolling his eyes at the girl as she pranced off, swaying her hips a little too hard. If this happened often when the two were dating, or even just friends, I could see why it annoyed Logan. I was annoyed with the girl myself. But maybe she would be enough to keep Logan away from James.

Everyone began eating their food slowly, only letting out sounds that meant their food was delicious. I watched Logan as he took small, calculated bites and smiled. Well, until I glanced up at James and realized he was smiling at the same thing. I focused on eating my second waffle, beginning to get full and I took a sip of my juice when I was done.

I sat back and waited patiently for everyone to finish eating. I should have expected the next thing that happened. James began telling Logan stories from their past. Well he was telling them to me but really it as to stir the memories up in Logan's mind. I knew what James was doing and I could only find myself slipping deeper and deeper into sadness as I knew it would work on my normally smart friend.

He had Logan laughing and I was "laughing" along with stories of how James and Logan had gone to see scary movie together where Logan spent most of the movie curled into James's side because he was too scared to watch, or James and Logan taking a trip to the beach together and James teaching Logan how to surf. James told stories about Logan helping him keep his grades high enough for him to be able to play hockey and he mentioned that he probably wouldn't have made it this far successfully had it not been for Logan Mitchell himself.

James was beaming at the memories. And soon I realized he really wasn't trying to make me jealous. He really just enjoyed all these memories he shared with Logan. The Logan that was supposed to be my Lo. Suddenly I felt sick but I didn't want to leave in the middle of another one of James's stories.

I stayed as long as I could, but about two or three minutes later I was on my feet sprinting to the bathroom. I barely made it in with a enough time to reach the toilet before I felt my dinner creep back up and reappear to me. As I flushed the toilet and went to the mirror I sighed. I pulled out the toothbrush I carried with me out to eat and brushed my teeth quickly. I pulled out a piece of gum and began chewing on it slowly.

I've never liked someone so much that it made me physically sick multiple times. I fell too hard with my heart. Papi always told me to guard it until I felt the time was right. But I was too trusting sometimes. Maybe this was another time I would look back on a few months from now and feel like I had wasted so much time and emotion on Lo. I sighed into the mirror. Looking over my outfit again and running my hair through my hands. Suddenly I wasn't so confident.

What was I doing here?

Logan wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't even keep their dinner down. Just as the thought crossed my mind the bathroom door opened a bit and Lo peeked his head in and offered me a weak smile. "You okay Los?"

I shook my head, "I threw up...I guess I shouldn't have had the double waffle." I sighed as Logan walked in the bathroom and the door shut behind him.

"Come here Los."

I obeyed and walked toward Logan and he put a hand on my forehead.

"I already called my mom and told her she needed to come pick us up because you got sick.

I simply nodded my head and I couldn't stop myself from watching his eyes as he went through his mental checklist of things to make sure were okay with me. His brown eyes flickered back and forth from mine to his hand and slowly I knew I was blushing, just as he was.

Before I could tell myself no. Before I could change my mind about this. Before I would wait any longer. I leaned in and connected our lips. Logan gave a surprised gasp but he didn't push me away. Instead he moved the hand that had been on my forehead around my neck. I put my hands on either side of his face and pulled him impossibly closer because this was what it felt like to kiss the person who was meant for you. Our lips moved together slowly and Logan sighed a sigh of relief into my mouth. It was slow and sweet, even though we were in the bathroom of the diner it felt like we were somewhere romantic alone, just the two of us.

I had never had a kiss like this before, granted I hadn't had many kisses to begin with, but when you feel it in your bones, you feel it. I immediately knew, there was no way I could ever kiss anyone else and get the same feeling or an even greater feeling.

When we separated Logan smiled but suddenly he frowned.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "What is it Lo? Was it bad...?" I was getting that sick feeling again as I waited for him to respond.

He shook his head, "No, no. Los, God, that was amazing..but.."

I sighed, "James." I fished the sentence for him and he nodded. "He's a great guy Lo...I can tell he really likes you a lot. Even after all this time." I walked out of the bathroom and to the table. I pulled out my wallet and laid down the money for my food and my tip. James raised an eyebrow at me, "I don't feel very well. But it was good to meet you James. Logan is really excited to have you back."

James nodded and said, "It was good to meet you too Logan. I can tell he loves having you around."

I mumbled, "Yeah." Before walking toward the door. I heard feet running toward me and as soon as I got outside Logan was behind me.

"Los wait!" He grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him, "My mom is coming to get us, you can't just walk home." Logan sighed and I couldn't say no to him. So I simply nodded and he pulled me back inside to the booth.

James looked back and forth between us and Lo spoke up for me, "Los forgot he was supposed to be riding back with us. His house is close to mine so my mom told his mom she'd just pick all of us up and bring him home."

James nodded his head and we all sat there silently for a few more minutes. Logan called the waitress back over and asked if I could get a glass of water because I wasn't feeling well. She nodded and walked away, returning a few seconds later with a small glass of water. I sighed as logan urged me to drink it and I took a few sips. I mumbled "Thank you," towards him because the water did help. I noticed James watching us casually and the gleam that had been in his eyes before was replaced by something else.

I didn't want to say anything else because my mind had drifted back to that kiss. It had been perfect. It was slow and sweet. Logan's lips were so soft and I wanted more, but I couldn't have that just yet because of a certain someone from his past. I waited as Lo and James paid their bills and I sighed as Lo finally gave in to James's begging and let James pay for his food too.

I was officially the stupid third wheel who thought he had a chance with the guy of his dreams.

When we stood up to leave a few minutes later logan walked ahead of James and I. James was right behind him and I managed to stay a few feet behind him. I still didn't feel very good, so I didn't mind being a little behind everyone.

When we got outside Logan's mom greeted all of us and passed me a sympathetic look, "Are you okay Carlos?"

I nodded my head, "Yes, I feel much better , thanks to Logan." Even from the backseat with James I could see Logan blushing up front next to his mother.

She nodded her head and glanced at logan before starting the car and pulling out, "He sounded pretty worried on the phone. But I know your mother will be glad to see you're okay."

She began talking to James, asking how Texas was and if it was still as hot as it was when they moved. James seemed grateful that she had begun to include him a little more and he answered all her questions about Texas, his family, and the move. As we pulled up to my house she was telling James that shed have to call his mother so they could have lunch together like they used to.

I said goodnight to James and Logan's mom and when I went to say goodbye to Logan he offered to walk me to the door. So we both got out of the car and walked slowly to the door and stood facing each other once we reached the porch.

"I'm sorry I keep messing this up," Logan whispered at me. "I just honestly don't know what to do, but I know it isn't fair to you."

I pulled him in for a hug and fought back tears, "Just follow your heart Lo. You know how I feel...but if you think you should be with James again, I'll accept that. I'm your friend too. I just want you to be happy."

Logan squeezed me as hard as he could and then pulled back. "The kiss really was amazing Los..."

"I know Lo, it was amazing for me too.."

Logan sighed as he opened my door for me, "Go inside and drink lots of water and get plenty of rest Los. You should feel better in the morning." I nodded and logan waited for me to step inside before saying goodnight and walking back to his mom's car. I watched as he climbed in the backseat with James and he smiled and waved at me again before they pulled off.

I walked to the kitchen and lit a candle madre kept on the kitchen table. i

I also grabbed a glass of water and sat at the table. It was late so I didn't think anyone would still be awake. I sat for a while and I kind of lost track of time. I couldn't help but think about how happy James was when he talked about Lo. Maybe he did realize how we'll Logan deserved to be treated and he was willing to do whatever he had to to keep my genius friend, well OUR genius friend, happy.

"Carlos?" ,y mother walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, "Mijo, why are you still awake? Nod did it go with Logan and his friend?"

She say across from me and grabbed my hands with both if hers and I couldn't ignore the love that was pouring out from her. "Made, his friend is really handsome... Way more handsome than me. And it's so obvious that he cares a lot for Logan like I do. And I um kissed Logan tonight. Not in front of James or anything. But it was amazing and he told me he thought so too...but he doesn't know that to do now, I don't know what to do. I think he and James are really good for each other from what I heard tonight...but Lo is really good for me too."

I paused and breathed in and out slowly waiting for my mom to respond. "Carlos, he likes you too. So don't completely write yourself off son. Your padre would tell you that if it was supposed to happen, that no matter what came and stood in your way right now, it would happen for you. So it doesn't matter if James has shown back up mijo. In time, Logan will truly figure out that he likes you more, if you two are supposed to be together."

I thought hard about what ,y mother said before responding, "What if we aren't supposed to be together?"

She sighed and squeezed my hand, "Then it'll hurt, it'll hurt a lot. But you'll find yourself again Carlos. And you'll find someone that you'll like even more than Logan, and he or she will know that they never want to let you go."

"I don't like being rejected.."

She offered me a sad smile, "No one does Los, but it's all the heartache that makes you so ready to give and receive love from that special person when they come your way."

After that we stayed silent for about ten minutes before I said goodnight to my made and headed up to my room. I climbed into bed after throwing my clothes off and tried my hardest not to cry at the thought of losing Logan before I ever really had him.

Sure James was gorgeous, like really, really gorgeous, but I was handsome too right? And yeah maybe James had a few hundred memories with Logan, but our few had to mean something to him too. I know they meant something to me. And that kiss, isn't that what he wanted? He wanted me to be brave for him and to take the first move, and I did that. It scared the crap out of me, but I did that just for him.

I didn't mind making the first move, if in the end it meant we could be together, and I could help him get over all the things James had put him through in Texas. I wouldn't let that happen again in Minnesota. Logan deserved someone who would be patient with him and not get frustrated with him.

I had been patient for weeks and I could continue to be patient with him. He had honestly been just as patient as I was. He hadn't rushed me to kiss him, but he waited until I was comfortable, and even though it wasn't in the most romantic of places, it still felt like the butterflies in my stomach turned to fireworks.

I fell asleep with the thoughts of Logan turning into dreams. There were moments when we were at school holding hands and Logan was beaming. There was a short dream where the two of us went snowboarding together, than rock climbing, and then the nightmare started. Logan was telling me that I wasn't handsome enough, or smart enough, or athletic enough. James was standing beside him holding his hand, grinning widely. James was all those things to him.

I woke up in a cold sweat and sighed as I rubbed my hands sleepily through my hair and then over my eyes. It was 3:07 in the morning and as much as I tried I couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't want to. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing James and Logan holding hands again.

If it pained me that much in a dream, I'm not sure if I can handle seeing it in real life.

I sighed as laid back down in bed and rolled onto my stomach and curled my head into my pillow as far as it would go. I said a small prayer before asking my Papi to help me somehow. Anything he could do would help me, and if all he could do was give me more strength to power through this, then that was okay too.

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