A/N: Things get a bit more serious in this chapter. Also - glad to see so many of you are still enjoying the story!
Revisited
EXCLUSIVE! LEIA ORGANA AND HAN SOLO - BACK TOGETHER?
Leia looked up from the holonews projection on her counter and rubbed a hand across her face.
"So, something you care to share?" Luke watched her over the lip of his mug.
"You already know nothing's happened. You'd know if it had. Don't even try to tell me that you wouldn't."
"I learned the hard way not to try to read your thoughts."
She slid off the stool to refill her mug with caf, "That was your fault."
"That is burned into my memory. I've had nightmares about it."
"Oh, it wasn't that bad."
Luke made a sour face, "Maybe for you."
His sister rolled her eyes.
"Are you going to tell me what did happen, then?"
"Han commed me late last night," she bit her lip and couldn't help the corners of her mouth turning up at the absurdity of what occurred, "while I was … entertaining a reporter from the Sun."
"A reporter?" Luke exclaimed, the whine of a teenaged Tatooine farmer breaking through the Jedi exterior.
"Yes, a reporter. Not my finest moment."
"You really picked up a reporter at the Rodian dinner."
"Yes," she sighed, "And I thought the big news this morning would be the NTF talks."
"Well, they are. Sort of. I mean, they're mentioned in the last sentence of the article."
"How am I going to go in and meet with Han today after this? I just can't."
Luke shot her a sympathetic look and swung his legs off the arm of the lounging chair. Leia thought he was going to get up to leave – and leave her alone (although the sympathy was nice)– but he settled into another relaxed position, "Did your reporter overhear your conversation with him?"
"I guess. He seemed uninterested in the conversation in the first place, and I was quick enough to use a headset, but I guess … I guess I should have known."
"Han won't care, you know."
"No, I don't know."
He just shook his head, "When is your meeting?"
"1530."
"Will you comm me afterwards?"
Leia began gathering her datapads into her bag, "If I have time."
He finally took his cue to clear out of her apartment, and popped out of the chair to replace his cup in the autowasher.
"You'll be at the Kashyyyk celebration tonight, right?"
"Yes, Chewie invited me," she took a final swig of caf, "I owe him. How do I look?"
Luke smiled, wrapping an arm around her and giving her a quick squeeze, "You're the most beautiful baby sister in the galaxy."
"Watch it, baby brother," she said, poking a warning finger in his side.
"He's in there," Jas stood up and whispered from behind his desk.
Leia loosed what she thought must have been her most galaxy-weary sigh all day, "Already?"
"He … insisted."
She'd lecture her assistant later. It wasn't grounds for termination, but it was close. A very short list of people were allowed into her office unaccompanied.
Han Solo had his long limbs draped over one of the cube chairs in front of her desk when she entered, clearly already at home in her space. That bastard, she thought, with more affection than she intended. He'd forgone all formality in appearance today and was wearing a cleaner version of the white shirt-dark pants-spacer's boots uniform he'd donned for the four years of their acquaintance.
"You're early."
"I'm a respectable businessman now," he turned his head to meet her gaze and she wanted nothing more than to smack the smug look off his face, "Gotta be punctual."
"Punctuality is the lease of your problems."
His eyes followed her as she rounded her desk to take a seat facing him.
"What? Hearing not go so well?"
She ignored the question, "How did you get Jas to let you in?"
"Your assistants are pretty easy to persuade. Might wanna watch that."
"What is there to worry about? You once claimed you could persuade the teeth out of a gundark's mouth."
He smirked at her, "What can I say? I'm a charming guy. You've never said otherwise."
She leaned forward, "I've always said otherwise."
"Aw, you were always just tryin' to save face."
"I have a galaxy of other, much more important concerns than making an accurate judgment of your charisma."
"Oh, you mean like that little item about you – us – in the Coruscant Sun this morning?"
She'd almost forgotten about it, but of course he had to bring it up, "Gossip is gossip, Han. I've learned to ignore it."
"Nice image they added of us, too. You know – that one in the Republic archives from when we planned the invasion here. Hard to believe that was so long ago."
She averted her eyes and pretended to be busy moving things around on her desk. Talking with him was too effortless, and he made the handsome reporter she'd almost slept with the night before look awkward and plain. Ease back on the throttle, Organa.
"Well, it was. A lifetime."
"Nah, not that long," his eyes scanned her up and down, seeming to take her in for the first time since she walked in the office, "Why'd you break Alderaanian tradition?"
"What?"
"Your hair, your clothes … I like it, sure, but it's pretty damn different."
"Alderaan is gone. There was no use in me continuing the arbitrary cultural performances of a dead planet."
A half-laugh burst from his lips, a sound of incredulity. "I don't believe that for a second."
He was right. In reality, she'd fallen into a deep, angry depression when he'd abandoned her. During one particularly bad depressive episode in the month following his departure, she'd incinerated nearly all of her material possessions, clothing included, save her combat boots, blasters, holos, and a handful of Alderaanian mementos. She'd sliced off the thick hair that had hung to her hips and incinerated it too. Luke had found her curled up on the floor of her temporary quarters naked and shaking.
"I had to move on."
He fidgeted with the outer trouser seam on his right thigh where he is blaster was usually strapped, "So it was about me."
"In part, yes."
Sadness clouded his face for a moment and Leia felt bad. During the years she knew him, he had teased her incessantly about everything except Alderaan. He never made fun of her sartorial modesty, her impulse, even in fatigues, to keep her legs and upper arms covered because those were the rules of the Royal House. He never complained about three feet of hair getting in the way during sex when she knew it did. He never asked her to give up her identity as a princess, even as he sarcastically used her title and even when he learned she wasn't really one after all. She'd severed those parts of herself on her own.
"But it wasn't just about you. I had to let go of a lot of things."
"And here I'd thought you let Core fashion get to you, being a celebrity politician and all."
"Just because I haven't been wearing the same pants for twelve years …"
"Hey, now look, Your Highness –"
"Minister."
He brushed away her interjection, "These aren't the same pants. And there's no crime in me knowing what I like."
"Your consistent attachment to those pants is commendable, I guess."
"Ain't the only thing I've been attached to for a long time."
He could have meant almost anything, but she knew without a doubt he meant her.
"Are you comparing me to pants?"
"Nope – just illustratin' my commitment."
That was it; he'd said it. Leia's thin veneer of tolerance snapped.
"Commitment? What do you know about commitment? You left me!" She banged the desktop.
"Hey, hey – don't shoot," he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender and kept his voice level, "I made a mistake."
"If it was such a terrible mistake, why did you disappear for years?"
"Like you made any effort to contact me. I wasn't that hard to find."
"Oh no, this is not my fault. I begged you to stay, remember?"
"I –"
She wasn't going to let him make excuses, "And it was the most humiliating experience of my life. And I've been tortured, chained to a giant slug, dressed down in front of the entire Senate, had my personal life splashed all over the holonews … but no, you take that honor."
"Look, you ain't exactly got a monopoly on bein' hurt here."
She should have registered that he was confessing, being open about his feelings in a way that was rare, but the Republic's chief diplomat had her prey cornered and she was out for blood.
"Then why was it so easy for you to leave?"
"You think that was easy? You think I just up and decided to leave one day without a second thought?"
"I tried to reason with you. You wouldn't listen."
"That's the thing – I didn't want you to reason with me. I'd gotten enough reason from you to last a lifetime."
"What did you want me to do then? Simply drop everything and bond with you?"
"I never asked you to drop everything."
"But that's what you wanted."
"You know what I wanted, Leia? I wanted a life with you."
"I was serious about my promise at Endor, Han."
"And I was serious about mine."
"But that doesn't change the fact that you left."
"Also doesn't change the fact that you rejected me."
"I didn't reject you. I told you to wait."
"You told me 'no'."
Leia stood, unable to face him any longer, and moved to the viewport. A thick golden haze had settled over this part of Coruscant and she could almost feel the heat baking the duracrete. She pitied the Wookiees gathered in the capital for the Battle of Kashyyyk memorial dedication. She pitied herself.
"I was scared," she began, tracing a pattern on the transparisteel.
After several long moments, she continued, "I thought … this is silly, you're just going to laugh at me … but I thought that if we were bonded – officially – our lucky streak would end. That I'd lose you, that you'd get killed, or that you'd get bored, that we would settle into a life and you'd hate it. It was stupid, superstitious, but after everything … our, our … us … it was too good to be true. I was more afraid of losing you than I was of losing the krethin' war. I didn't want to lose you."
She turned to look at him, every trace of pretense dropping from her features. He remained silent. Of course he didn't believe her. It wasn't like she believed him. Stalemate. She wanted to shed her own skin, shivering imperceptibly in a raw fear that he'd leave her office more a stranger than before he entered.
"But you left. I bought the krayt dragons, I live in the krayt dragon den."
He exhaled and looked chastened, "I'm sorry, too."
"Han – "
"Lemme talk. I was scared, too. But I thought you were a sure bet, so I gambled. I've played a lotta Sabacc, Your Worship, and I've never thrown a hand like that."
"I loved you."
"I know," he let it sink in a minute, let the shared memories sit noticed but untouched, before continuing, "Now, where in the Nine Hells did you get that saying?"
That was out of a different spacelane. "What?"
"The krayt dragon one."
The laugh bubbled up inside of her unexpectedly, moved past the resignation, and escaped, "Lisi Nix."
"Glad to know it didn't come from some prissy Coruscanti socialite who prob'ly couldn't lift a full-size blaster on his best day."
He was trying to lead her off the topic of their parting, that was plain, and he was masterful at distraction. Arguing over fault wasn't going to get them anywhere, and the banter was natural, familiar. She went with it.
"What? Jealous?" She leaned back against the transparisteel.
"Me? Nah," He lifted a booted foot to rest on her desk, signaling that he felt he had the situation under control, "So, you taking the guy you were with last night to the Kashyyyk thing?"
"Why do you think I was with someone last night?"
"Easy. You'd've taken less time to answer the comm if you'd been in the 'fresher. I've been there; I know how quick you jump."
"Maybe I've gotten more relaxed in my old age."
"No chance, Sweetheart."
"Have you talked to Chewie?"
"Yeah, yesterday. Got to see Lumpy and Malla, too."
"You're lucky he forgave you."
"Didn't forgive me. Told me it'd be bad press for the Wookiees if he tore the limbs off a decorated-general-cum-high-profile-business-leader day before their big moment. I'm not worried. He'll come around."
"It was really hard on him when you left Coruscant."
"He's a big cub," brushing off her comment with a wave of his hand, "He can take care of himself."
"Han, I don't think you understand. He gave up everything for his life debt to you and you skipped out on him without even saying goodbye."
"Yeah, well, I had my reasons. Anyway, I didn't plan on being gone forever. I'm back, aren't I?"
"Palling around on Coruscant for a few days doesn't quite qualify as being back."
"If we get this deal hammered out with your minions, NTF's gonna relocate here. Already got my place in Coronet up for auction. Lando and me'll be looking at apartments and commercial properties tomorrow."
Subdued and disturbed by the prospect that he was considering a permanent move to Coruscant, Leia glanced at the chrono on the wall near the door. The Republic was her territory, not his, and despite their openness just now, she felt uneasy.
"You should go," she said, "The Rodian delegation is scheduled to arrive any minute."
He swung his leg down and slapped his thighs before rising, "Well, Princess, thanks for agreeing to meet. I 'preciate it."
"Good luck with … with everything."
"Yeah."
They stood awkwardly, trying in silence to negotiate his departure. Had anything changed? Would they have a candid conversation like this ever again? The space between them was charged with regret and attraction and pain and anticipation, which Leia could detect reverberating through the Force. Even after so long, she could feel Han's presence in a way she couldn't even feel her brother. It was nauseating. She moved toward the door to let him out, to break the spell.
"Look, when I called you last night, I wanted to ask you something."
"What – you weren't just trying to annoy me?"
"Cute," He crossed his arms and sauntered forward, close enough to make her uncomfortable, and his mobile face grew serious.
"Han."
"I wanted to ask," he leaned deliberately closer, his eyes flicking just once to her lips, and she didn't duck away, "And I don't give a womprat's ass if you already have one: be my date to Chewie's thing tonight."