Hortencia walked into the room all smiles. He looked around the room and noticed Logan, his face only faltered for a brief second. If we hadn't been friends for so long I know I would have missed it. I quickly glanced up at Logan and realized he hadn't noticed the look because he was too busy looking down at his food and breathing irregularly.

I sighed as I got up and gave Hortencia a generous hug that he returned to me. "Hey Hortencia." I said as I smiled when the hug was over.

He smiled back, "Hey Carlos." He looked over at the girls who were waving at him frantically with their mouths full and he chuckled, "Hey Lali and Lia. Hello to you too Tomas." There was a brief pause before Hortencia finished, "Hey Logan" He offered the raven haired boy a smile before joining everyone else at the table.

I let out a relieved huff as I sat in the seat I had previously been sitting in. Logan looked up at Hortencia a little shocked before pulling his mask of emotion over his face. "Hey Hortencia." He smiled back but I knew he was hiding something.

Tomas coughed awkwardly after finishing his sandwich, drawing our attention to him. "Well I'm going to take the girls outside, Abuelo should be here soon anyways. Come one Lali and Lia." The girls scrambled up to follow Tomas outside, both of them bouncing excitedly through the house singing a song they had picked up from their madre.

Carlos sighed as he stood up and began cleaning up, "You guys can go ahead to the living room, I'll be in there in a second alright? Hortencia you know how to turn the music on, if you guys want to study with music that is." Logan and Hortencia kind of huffed in response and walked toward the living room quietly. I simply began to fight thee urge to run to my room and cry. I put all the dishes away and thew away all the scraps of bread crusts before letting my feet guide me to what I was sure would be my impending doom.

I walked in the living room slowly, unsure of what I would see. Logan had resumed his previous spot in our mess of papers. He was essentially buried in all the math problems he had surrounding him that he was working on. Hortencia was sitting a few feet away, more than enough room between the two of them. Hortencia must have decided to put music on because the sounds of an acoustic guitar filling the room, Ed Sheeran being the voice pouring from the speakers.

I moved promptly to my spot in the room and dropped down to my homework. I sighed as I brought a hand up to my face and smeared my features before I felt a soft pair of hands on my wrists pulling them away from my face. "You okay Los?" It was Logan asking and he looked genuinely concerned. I nodded as I turned back to my work.

"Just overwhelmed.."

"Waanna talk about it?" This voice belonged to Hortencia who had looked up from his own essay. Worry was evident in his facial features. I just sighed and looked at the ground.

"I just want you guys to be friends." I felt stupid as soon as the words came out of my mouth but I couldn't stop. "I just thought that by the end of today we would all be amigos. Maybe I was wrong. But I want that so bad, for everyone to be friendly. No more fighting, please."

Hortencia looked guilty instantly, "Carlos...I'm so sorry for everything I did, I-"

"Then tell Logan," I felt Logan go stiff next to me as I spoke but I couldn't stop the sudden interruption, "Stop telling me how sorry you are for being an ass and tell Logan. Since he was, you know, the one you were extremely rude to." I tried not to sound abrasive or angry. I just wanted this to be over, so Logan would wear his real emotions and so that everything would quit being so damn awkward.

"Hortencia you don't have to-" Logan started out but he was also interrupted.

"No he's right Logan, I do owe an apology to you. I've been kind of an ass huh?" Hortencia gave a small, weak chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Logan gave a small laugh and he nodded, "Just a bit, but I guess I deserved it..."

Hortencia continued, "It's just that me and Carlos have been friends for years, almost our entire lives, and I've never felt like our friendship was threatened by anyone." Hortencia paused, his brow was furrowed as he thought about how to phrase what he had to say next, "But then you came along and something was different. Something still is different. I don't know...it seems silly but Carlos is different with his friendship towards you. It scares me. I don't want to lose my best friend..." Hortencia's voice traveled off and so did his gaze. He was looking absentmindedly at the ceiling and he sighed.

Logan and I looked at each other, and for a second, and only a second I contemplated telling Hortencia everything. That I was gay and that Logan and I had kissed. But I didn't. I just crawled over to him on thee floor and tackled him in a hug. Hortencia let out a huff as he landed on the floor. I rubbed his hair playfully, "Hortencia you're my best friend, but I can have two of those right? Two friends who are completely different but make me happy. Isn't that alright with you?"

For a second Hortencia looked like he was thinking, then he pushed me off of him with a big smile on his face, "'Yeah, yeah I guess I want you happy."

A weight lifted itself off of my shoulders as I looked between Logan and Hortencia. Logan was giving a real smile now and so was I. I wasn't worried anymore. At least about the two of them being friends.

Just the the front door opened and I heard Abuelo yell out, "You here Carlos dear?" I stood up quickly to run and meet her. Not managing to lessen the giant grin on my face.

A few hours later Hortencia was leaving, pulling me and Logan in for a tight hug, "This was great guys. Honestly. I'm glad Carlos met you and treated you like a human being Logan." Hortencia gave Logan a real smile, a nice warm one and I couldn't help but feel giddy that my friends were getting along.

Logan nodded, giving Hortencia a tight squeeze and a chuckle, "Yeah, I'm glad he had such an amazing best friend to begin with. This has truly been something."

"Yeah, yeah you two. I get it I'm amazing." I laughed as they both hit me in the chest lightly.

Hortencia shook his head and pulled his backpack up on his shoulders before turning to leave, as he walked down my front porch steps and toward his house he yelled out, "See you Monday!"

When I shut the door Logan attacked my lips and I was very surprised. I kind of fell into his arms and he held me up, our lips moving tenderly together. When the moment was over we rested our foreheads together and it was peaceful. The girls were taking a nap and Tomas was off somewhere doing something while Abuelo sat out back enjoying the sunset. Logan's mahogany eyes sparkled in the light coming from the windows. Then I remembered, it came out in a whisper, "James."

Instantly Logan's eyes went dark with panic as he released his hold on me. "Crap, crap, crap, I forgot about him for a second. Los I am so sorry. I don't know how I could forget that. I got swept up in the moment. I was just so happy about the day going so well with Horentica..." Logan's voice went from panic to fearful. "Do you hate me?" His gaze shifted to the floor aand he moved his feet awkwardly.

I sighed and didn't resist grabbing Logan's hand and pulling him up to my bed room before shutting the door gently. I pulled him over to my bed and sat next to him, never letting go of his hand, "Why would you ask me that?"

He kept his eyes low for a while, before slowly moving them upwards to meet my gaze, "I keep giving you mixed signals. You've put everything out on the line for me.."

I shook my head, "I don't hate you Logan. I don't hate you at all." I couldn't resist as I pulled Logan in for another kiss, this one a little longer and a little sweeter. I moved one of my hands to Logan's cheek, trying to pull him impossibly closer to me. It worked, until Logan pulled away, his cheeks crimson.

"I can't Los."

I looked down at the ground. "I know Lo." He moved off my bed and towards the door.

He placed his hand on the door knob gently and turned it slowly before mumbling, "I'm sorry." before slipping through my door. I waited until I heard the front door open and shut before I felt my body be completely weighed down by sobs. I let my body collapse onto my bed and I screamed into my pillow. The tears wouldn't stop coming and I tried to fight them. This had turned into more than I had ever bargained for. Since when was James allowed to come back into Logan's life and screw up everything? I just wanted to be happy with the boy that I liked.

I asked Papi what I had done to deserve this hurt. I had only been nice to people. At least I thought so. I wasn't a mean person. I brought my two best friends together and I had the most amazing day with the two of them. But now something was missing. Something clearly wasn't right. Because even after all of that there was one problem. One this holding Logan back from being my Lo.

James.

James and his stupid pearly white teeth, and his stupid gorgeous tan, and his stupid chestnut hair and coffee eyes, and his stupid tall body, and his stupid muscles everywhere, and his stupid, stupid past with Logan.

I screamed again, this time I forgot the pillow. Seconds later Tomas was at my side rubbing circles into my back, "Los what the hell? What's going on? Where is Logan? Did you guys fight? Why are you crying?"

I didn't respond, Tomas merely got up and left the room, returning two minutes later with two chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. "I brought you a snack Los." I sat up and rubbed my red eyes. Tomas sighed and pulled me into a hug. "You're scaring me. You never act like this."

I took a cookie and gave it a small bite. "I don't know what to do Tomas..."

"What happened Los? Tell me.."

"I kissed Logan again." Tomas took in a sharp breath and squeezed my hand, his wide eyes telling me to go on, "Then I thought of James. I ruined the moment. Logan got upset and said he couldn't do this. Then he left..."

"Oh Los.." Tomas pulled me in for a tighter hug. "Lay down, I'll tuck you in, Don't worry about the girls, Abuelo and I can handle them."

I nodded my head as I laid down, pulling my sweatpants off so that I was left in my t-shirt and boxers. As soon as my head hit the pillow, Tomas pulled the blanket up over me. He smiled weakly as he gave me a small kiss on the cheek before giving a small chuckle. When I raised y eyebrow he explained, "We seem to be doing this a lot lately big bro. Want a bed time story?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No thanks knuckle head."

Tomas shrugged as he headed to the door, flipping the light switch as he went, "Your loss big bro." He shut the door gently and I listened to him move around the house. When his footsteps faded I was left to the voices in my head. They were not nearly as friendly as I was.

Why did you kiss him? You know how he feels about James. He's already picked him over you, you know that. Why do you think he ran out of here so fast? Probably called James and told him everything. He's never going to pick you. It will never be you.

I sighed as I pulled the covers over my head, breathing in and out slowly, "I know."

It was Monday, lunch time. The rest of my weekend had dragged on, Tomas had convinced madre not to ask any questions and she didn't. I hadn't heard from Logan. I hadn't talked to Hortencia either. he hadn't texted or called but he had no reason to check in on me.

I stalked into the lunch room. I quietly got my lunch and moved out to the tables full of my peers. I looked over at me and Logan's table, he was there, he was looking at me. Pleading with me to come over. I wasn't ready. My legs finally listened to my brain for once and I moved to sit with Hortencia and the read of my 'friends.' They all looked at me suspiciously, even Hortencia but I didn't give them any answers. I just began eating my food slowly. My mind was across the room on a certain raven haired genius.

Logan came to this school wanting to be left alone.

He got his wish.

I just wished I had gotten mine too.