A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews. I appreciate them very much, and am glad to hear that you are all enjoying this story.
Valley of Your Heart
Leia felt like her brain was in a hundred different places. Just as she'd made her way in to make caf before leaving for the Ministry, Threepio had appeared in her apartment and delivered the news that the ambassador from the Hapes Cluster had fallen ill and needed to reschedule their meeting. The cancelled meeting meant she could have an extra hour at home before going into her office, although that meant dealing with Han Solo when he emerged from the 'fresher. She had warned him she would have to leave her apartment early and, in reality, she had hoped she could slip out without a prolonged encounter.
She leaned back against the refrigeration unit and let the steam from her mug of caf curl up into her face. Outside the large viewport, Coruscant looked especially bleak and gray in the purple predawn light. As Minister of State, she didn't have much extra time in her life to feel depressed, but the cityscape this morning made her sad. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply in the style of Jedi meditation, imagining herself un-stuck and free. She didn't know exactly what that looked like, but she could imagine how it felt.
Recent events, however, had her telling herself that freedom felt like straddling a naked and lean Han Solo and recklessly and ruthlessly riding him until she was screaming in orgasm and he was bucking beneath her.
She sighed, blowing the rising steam way from her face. Working today was going to be difficult. Letting her thoughts stew was obviously going to be counterproductive, so she moved to turn on the holonews projection on her counter to read while she sipped her caf. Watching a citizen-recorded holo of protestors on Calder Mega was far better than watching the pornographic holo in her head, she told herself.
The device glowed to life, and she entered her passcode. The aggregated headlines of the major news organization floated in the air above the counter.
Leia was so engrossed in scrolling through the galactic military news that she didn't realize Han was in the kitchen with her until he was placing a kiss on the nape of her neck.
"Thought you'd be gone already," he whispered into her ear.
She spun out of his embrace and moved toward the beverage machine on the opposite counter.
"Caf?" she asked.
"What?"
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
She poured him caf even though he hadn't answered that he wanted any, "Nothing. Why?"
"Well, you haven't even looked at me since I came in here."
"It's nothing. Really," she shook her head and handed him the drink, purposefully meeting his eyes, "Do you need anything to eat? I have those Corellian pastries you had Threepio drop off the other day?"
He raised his eyebrows, "You didn't eat 'em?"
"Too sweet for my tastes."
"Damn," he snapped his fingers, "Goldenrod must've gotten the sweet rolls. Told him to get the sour rolls, 'cause I know you like those. Well, you did."
Leia propped her hip on the counter, "Those are what you used to make, right?"
"Still do," he took a sip of caf and smirked, "Whaddaya think, Princess? Got ingredients?"
"Does it look like I cook, Han? I survive on ration bars and the occasional fancy dinner."
"Well, we gotta change that then."
"We?" she asked with exaggerated skepticism, "There's no we."
He rolled his eyes, "You know what I meant."
"No, Han, I don't know what you meant."
"Friends make sure friends eat, Your Worship. You don't have enough people looking out for you."
"What I eat is none of your business. My friends are none of your business. And you, you Han, are not one of my friends." She added coolly, "If you want some sex, fine. But don't assume you have my friendship."
"Aw, c'mon, Princess. That was more than sex. You cuddled."
"Habit. And my point stands. Don't assume we're friends, Han."
His face hardened, and his eyes clouded. His age sat on his face in a way it hadn't before, "Do I get a say at all?"
"You already made yourself clear last night. You don't want this," she gestured at the empty air in between them, "And that's fine. I don't want it either."
"That's bantha shit. Why do you keep puttin' words in my mouth, huh?"
"I'm not putting words in your mouth."
"I ain't one of your fancy diplomats," he pointed a finger at her and curled up his lip, "But I know when someone's not listenin'."
His anger caused Leia's own temper to flare and she slammed her mug of caf down, spilling some of the brown liquid across the countertop, "I can't listen if you aren't saying anything. What do you want? What do you want from me?"
"I don't know, Leia!" he spoke harshly, and spread his arms wide, "You think this is easy for me? I might've thought it would be, but it ain't. For Sith's sake, can't I be confused, too?"
Leia felt like she'd had a weapon violently stripped out of her grip in the middle of battle. There was no good response to his question. She just stared at him silently, feeling lost and suddenly powerless.
Subdued, she finally spoke, clinging to duty to guide her, "I should be going. My meeting this morning was cancelled, but I still have a lot to get done today."
"Leia, shit …"
"It's okay. You can stay here as long as you like."
She swept past him and into her bedroom.
"We're not done with this, Leia," he called after her.
"No, we're not," she whispered under her breath.
When she passed security at the New Republic's state offices, Leia was still angry and confused. People were giving her a wide berth, so she knew her state of mind could be read on her face. She didn't care. She should have, since the subject of her temper was a sensitive issue within the government, but the past few hours would have tried the patience of a Jedi Master.
She figured that was why the Jedi of the former Republic had discouraged personal relationships. She'd left Han sitting in her kitchen, clad only in his black suit pants, gnawing on a stale pastry and watching smashball highlights. He had grunted something to her that resembled, "Have a good day, Sweetheart," and the whole domesticity of the scene had made her angrier than before.
The lift to her floor opened and she came face to face with her brother.
"Of course," she threw up her hands and let them slap her sides dramatically when they dropped.
"Thought I'd catch you here," he said slowly, with that particular knowing tone that grated on Leia's nerves.
The lift doors closed, "What?"
"Wanted to check in on my sister."
"You mean you wanted to check up on your sister."
He smiled, "You left the Wookiee thing early last night..With Han. I wanted to make sure you were okay."
The lift doors opened at the Ministry of State, "You could have just commed me, Luke."
"I had the feeling that you would want to talk in person."
They made their way to her office. Leia paused and grabbed a datachip and flimsy note out of her box on Jas's desk. Her assistant gave her an odd look, but she proceeded through the door with her brother without so much as a 'Good Morning' to any of her staff. She palmed the panel shut and gestured for him to sit.
"You're angry, Leia."
"I don't think you needed the Force to tell you that," she shoved the datachip into her desktop datareader.
"Do you want to go through some meditation exercises?"
"No, I don't. Thanks," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm and her staying focused on scrolling through the text in front of her.
"Anger is–"
"Spare me the lecture right now."
"Then maybe you should tell me what's going on."
Leia looked up at him, looking at her expectantly. She sighed. He wasn't going to let it go until she gave him a satisfying answer; he could be like a canid with a nerf bone when it came to information he wanted. If direct questioning didn't produce a truthful answer, he'd resort to whining. And Luke Skywalker could out-whine a whole room of Neimoidians if he wanted. That was beyond what she could deal with at the moment, so she told him.
"Han and I slept together. And we had a fight."
"Oh. Just to be clear, by slept together, you don't actually mean you slept together. You mean you …"
"He's your friend," she shook her head and focused on the datareader's screen again, "I'm sorry, this is awkward. You don't need to hear about this."
Luke leaned back and chuckled, "I got over the awkwardness of my twin sister and one of my best friends sleeping together a long time ago. You know you can trust me with anything, Leia."
"We spent the evening talking. It was nice. He fell asleep on my lounger, and ended up in my bedroom in the middle of the night –"
He cut in, "You know this doesn't sound the least bit plausible, right?"
"Well, then we had sex, which was …" she searched for a word that wouldn't embarrass Luke, "Interesting? Then we yelled at one another this morning."
"That sounds more like it. What did you fight about, exactly?"
"I don't know," she sighed, "Nothing. Typical."
"I will withhold my judgment," he crossed a booted foot over his knee and inspected the leather along the seam, "You know, Leia, it's okay to be confused."
"I shouldn't be confused."
"Come on, sis. You've been in love with exactly one man. I was there when you met, and everyone – me included –thought the two of you would make it."
Her irritation was rising again, "Yes, but we didn't."
"I know. But he's in your life again, and while I know it's complicated, you can't force things into boxes they won't fit into," he smile easily, "You know I want you to be happy, Leia. More than anything.".
"I appreciate you being the protective brother, I really do, but I have to figure this out on my own."
"You aren't on your own, though. I know you hate for me to bring this up, but have you meditated on it? Sometimes the Force can offer you guidance. You need to figure out your feelings on this, and accept them, so maybe you should trust the Force to help you out."
Leia grinned and shook her head, "I don't think so."
He cocked an eyebrow, "Are you afraid of what you'll discover?"
"I just don't know that it is a good idea."
"Leia, listen. You have this extraordinary gift, and you can use it to help figure this stuff with Han out. It won't steer you wrong."
"So what happens if I search my feelings, Luke, and the Force throws me visions of Han and babies and growing old together? I know you've had those kinds of visions. But what good does it do? I sit Han down, and say, 'Look, I know you don't want this, but the Force does, so we have to go with it'? No. No, no, no."
"How do you know he doesn't want any of that? Did he tell you?"
"He said he wasn't interested in a relationship. And, really, neither am I."
"Were those his exact words?" Luke's blue eyes sparkled.
"Not exactly, no. He said he wasn't sure."
"I think …" Luke trailed off and glanced out the viewport before bringing his attention back to her, "Leia, I think you might be surprised about what Han wants."
"What? Did the Force tell you?"
"No, he did."
Leia steepled her fingers and rubbed them up the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes and hissing out a long breath. She would have to work through everything in detail later, but it didn't help that Luke was pushing for her and Han to reunite. He was nosy, but he generally stayed clear of making recommendations about her love life unless she specifically asked for advice. He and Han were friends, so she suspected that that was the primary reason Luke was particularly meddlesome when it came to his sister's relationship with the man. Still, she didn't like that the two of them spoke about her behind her back, nor did she like what Luke was insinuating about her destiny. It was a skepticism she'd always shared with Han. She wrote her own place in the galaxy – the galaxy didn't write it for her.
But maybe Luke was right; maybe meditating would help. In the deepest recesses of her heart, she harbored the small hope that Luke was also right about what hope Han harbored in the deepest recesses of his heart.
The mechanism engaging on her office door broke through the Minister of State's personal thoughts. The door slid open and Jas stepped in.
"Minister? Am I interrupting?" her assistant asked, looking as if he was walking into a rancor's den.
"No, Jas. What is it?" Leia laid her hands down flat on the top of her desk and forced a smile onto her face.
"Akace was doing the usual media sift this morning, and just found something you might want to see."
"Send her in."
Jas gestured outside the door, and Akace – a short, golden Bothan who was very skilled at data analysis and also unofficially kept abreast of galactic goings-on in the popular media – appeared. Leia didn't personally interact with the young staffer often. That the Bothan wanted to speak with the Minister indicated something serious was going on.
"Come in, Akace. Jas, anything else?"
"No, no," Leia caught his nervous glance at Akace and the rippling in her fur before he slipped out.
"Akace, please sit."
"No, Minister, I can stand. I," her snout twitched, "I came to you because I found The Galaxy has published a story about you that I think you need to read."
"Can you give me a summary?"
Her fur rippled again, "Daardo, one of the Galaxy politics correspondents, wrote an editorial calling for your resignation. A couple of other news agencies have picked it up, too. The Sun just made it their top story."
Leia pulled in a deep breath from her diaphragm to calm the panic that flittered across her consciousness; it wasn't uncommon for journalists to engage in political activism when the Galactic government made an unpopular decision, "Why?"
"Well, Minister, he writes that your relationship with Han Solo, one of the leaders of the New Trade Federation and currently a member of its delegation to Coruscant, constitutes a conflict of interest in the current negotiations between the Republic and the NTF. He implies the NTF will receive favorable treatment from the Republic as a result. He calls you corrupt, and demands—"
Leia held up a hand, "Enough. Thank you, Akace. You may go."
"I'm sorry, Minister."
"I'm sorry, too," her voice quavered, her heart pounding wildly and her limbs beginning to shake, "Tell Jas … tell Jas to get the Chief of State on the comm immediately."