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Dan climbed the multiple levels of steps to Steve's apartment all the while anticipating how the conversation would unfold. He hadn't seen Steve in months and figured that there'd be a polite exchange of updates that would occur, giving him time to assess his friend and refine his tactics.
He was greeted by a paler, but slightly heavier Keller. The clear, focused expression Steve wore a year ago as a cop had been replaced with one steeped in age, compromise and concession. Still in his dress shirt and tie from his earlier classes, the professor welcomed his visitor and invited him in.
After offering him a beer, the pair engaged in small talk and settled in Steve's small living room area. The former cop was particularly curious about how life was at the Bureau. He missed his old job more than he could imagine, but tried hard not to come off as jealous. Oh, but if he could reverse time to before the Tannanger trial, he would.
Dan gave him the latest updates on the cases they had been working and the individual detectives who worked there during Steve's tenure. There had been quite a turnover within the bureau in recent months. Haseejian left for Vice while Healy took a role at the Academy as an instructor. Rumor had it that Rudy Olsen would soon retire. Bill Tanner remained, but newer faces in Homicide were the norm.
"Steve, aren't you going to ask about Mike?" Dan finally asked. He would have thought Mike's name would have been mentioned before now and was becoming annoyed with his host.
The direct question took Keller back. "Well, sure. How is the big guy? I haven't talked to him in weeks. We caught a ballgame last month, but..." Steve began casually.
That was the tipping point. "Yeah, I know about the ballgame, Steve. You met him at the game in the 2nd inning and left before the 7th inning stretch. Mike was very disappointed." Dan couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation. Mike felt abandoned when Steve excused himself to go home.
"Well, I got caught in traffic coming over to the game that day and then I knew I had to get to the school early the next morning. The commute can be a challenge sometimes."
It was lame excuse, Steve knew, but his motivation for being out with this friends, even those that he considered family, was simply gone. He wasn't sure if Dan had responded because now he was lost in his own thoughts. Quietly, he berated himself and felt badly that he was not playing it straight with his guest. Instead, he was coming off like an uncaring, self-centered oaf. When he noticed the dialogue had ended and there was an awkward silence in the room, he caught the worried look on Dan's face and correctly surmised that it had nothing to do with him. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"
"Something's happened? Yeah, you can say that." He paused for a moment to let Steve catch up with the turning tide of the conversation.
"What's wrong? Is he sick?" Steve asked, now somewhat embarrassed.
"Steve, I struggled coming out here. I'm not sure if it is my place to tell you this. I mean, with the new job and all, you've stepped away from the department and Mike," Dan began.
"It's work related? Is he in trouble?" Steve interrupted.
"No, it's not work related. Look, if you've moved on, okay. But I thought you would want to know. Mike..."
"My God, he is sick. What is it? Is it his heart? Cancer?" The anxiety in his voice clearly showed.
"It's not Mike, Steve. It's Jeannie. She may have breast cancer. She's been going through quite a bit of testing to get a firm diagnosis." Dan said no more.
Steve felt sick. The image of Jeannie entered his mind: young, smiling with blue eyes that touched his heart. "It can't be. She's only twenty five," he said as he ran his hand through his hair and then looked nerviously around until a thought struck him. "You said she 'may have' breatst cancer and was still being tested - so there's a chance she's okay?"
"Mike said that she found a lump and then needed to go in for a biopsy. She was admitted to General tonight. They'll do the biopsy tomorrow and then she'll know later," Dan explained.
"Poor Jeannie. And Mike, my God, I can't imagine what he's going through. You know about his wife, right? Helen? She died from breast cancer years ago."
"He's told me." Dan was a little put off by the insinuation that Mike might not have told him about his wife's death. They were, after all, partners and after spending hours on end with the man, had grown close.
Another awkward pause took hold. Dan looked critically at Steve as the former detective slowly realized what was happening. "She does everything right. She doesn't smoke or drink. She's not overweight; she's actually quite fit. And she's Mike's anchor. He can't lose her."
"No, he can't. He already lost one anchor." Dan paused. "Losing her would do him in."
"What do you mean he's already lost one anchor? Oh, yes, Helen. Yes, to go through this again is a curse." Steve asked.
"That's not what I meant," Dan commented as he secretly wanted to wring Steve's neck. Steve's furrowed brow confirmed the confusion. "Are you that thick, Professor? You were family to him and you walked away. I get that you don't want to cause them any hurt because of your heart condition. He recognizes that too and has tried to give you your space. But while you are giving away your future on something that might happen, Mike is dealing with the here and now. He's dealing with the idea that he may lose his daughter."