Steve's words left Mike saddened. The younger man looked over to his long time friend and saw him struggle to maintain his composure. Mike usually had words of wisdom for every occasion, but at the moment he was at a profound loss. After a moment, he said, "I didn't know, Steve. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's taken me a bit to process what's happened myself, let alone talk to someone else about it," Steve conceded.

"What exactly did your doctor tell you? Did he tell you that you're...I can't say it." Tears filled Mike's eyes as he quickly looked away. Steve noticed and was deeply touched.

"Thank you for that." Steve needed a moment himself and took a deep breath. He was determined not to break in front of Mike. "So you know that I was seeing the cardiologist every month for a check up. All was going as expected until a few months ago.

By that point, the inflammation was down and it was only then that they were able to see the full extent of what had happened. Where they operated, scar tissue formed. It's caused a bit of blockage, but the main thing is that the scarring doesn't contract, so my heart is weaker and not pumping as much."

Mike still made no eye contact with Steve, but asked to hear more. "So what did they tell you?"

"Well," Steve said with this bravest voice, "they ran more tests, of course. But at the end of it all, the cardiologist called me into his office and said, 'Look, there's something you should know. Your heart is weak and you need to understand that this is going to impact your life.' I didn't fully understand what he meant until he said that I needed to be careful in making choices for the long term. Then he asked me if I was married or had family."

"So was he suggesting that you simply roll over and die?" Mike was getting angry.

"Not exactly. But the point he was making was that there is a good chance I'm not going to finish what I start. Getting married and having a family is just setting someone up for heartache. It's devastating to think about, but that's the gist of it."

"How long?" Mike asked with an unsteady voice.

"Do I have?" Steve finished the question. "I don't know. It could be months or years."

"You mean you could live a normal lifespan?" The older man jumped on any hope he could hear.

"The chances of that are fairly remote. But yeah, that's the killer, pardon the pun. I could live several years basically waiting to die while some poor schlep next to me walks in front of a bus and gets killed. I'm not sure that's how I want to live."

Mike contemplated the situation. "So what are you going to do?"

"Well, I stopped going to the doctor," Steve said defiantly to Mike's surprise. "Do you know how hard it is to show up to a doctor knowing that the news is nothing but bad?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. I used to take Helen to her appointments. She tried treatments, but only because there was an outside chance that she would respond."

"I'm sorry to bring back that memory for you - especially now that you are dealing with Jeannie's situation."

Mike ignored Steve's apology. "But you stopped going to the doctor? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Maybe."

"And you've gained weight. In your case, I don't know if that's good or bad." His partner had always been on the thin side, especially when they first starting working together. As the years passed, Steve filled out to a good weight. But looking at him now, Mike couldn't decide if his friend now looked bloated.

"Probably not a good thing," Steve commented as he deliberately avoided confessing this Mike that he was not eating well and drinking more than he should. "But honestly Mike, I don't want to deal with this anymore. I've thought about it and I can't take going back to the cardiologist and hearing how I should be planning not to commit myself to anything beyond grading this semester's papers."

"That bastard doctor. What kind of bedside manner is that? Have you gone for a second opinion?"

"No."

"Well, why not? Are you just going to take this lying down?"

"Yeah, maybe. I just don't have the capacity to deal with it anymore. I should have died that night, but for some reason I was spared. It's been a long road to get here and frankly, it's been too much - all I want to do is live my life quietly and when it's my time to go, fine." By the time Steve finished he was barely audible.

Anger surfaced again only this time it was with Steve. How dare he give up like this on his own. "Why didn't you tell me?" the Lieutenant barked.

"This is not your fight, Mike. And besides, there's nothing the great Lieutenant Stone can do," Steve said as he watched Mike raised his eyebrows. "But I appreciate that you'd want to."

"Of course I'd want to and I'll not accept the fact that there's nothing I can do. Buddy boy, you've dealt with this all on your own. I know that makes it ten times harder. You need someone with you - and I think you need a second opinion."

Steve looked at him with a crooked expression, but said nothing.

"When was the last time you went to the cardiologist?" His tone was now more reasonable.

"Three months ago."

"Okay, you make an appointment for your current cardiologist and I'll go with you. And then let's find you another doctor who could give you a second opinion," Mike suggested.

"Mike, I appreiate what you are trying to do, but you've got other things to worry about. Jeannie, for one."

"Jeannie is exactly the reason I'm doing this. At best, she would kill me if something happened to you," Mike quickly answered. "And at worst, well, my little girl needs you and all the support she can get if she has to wage her own survival battle."

Steve could do nothing more than nod. He saw what Mike was doing. It broke the older man's heart to see his daughter and the young man he considered a son battling for their lives. But instead of cracking, Mike was circling the wagons and putting together an action plan for them all.

"Hey," Mike said as he reached over and shook the back of Steve's neck as he done so many times in the past. "You got somewhere to go in the morning?"

"No, my first class is in the middle of the afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays are late days."

"All right then. It was going to be a little too quiet here anyway, so why don't you take the spare room and then tomorrow morning, we'll go over to the hospital first thing and be there while Jeannie is having the biopsy? They told me earlier that she might be able to go home by noon if there are no complications. She'd love it if you were there."

Steve's first reaction was to go along with Mike, but then remembered that Jeannie was a young woman who might consider her father's former partner's presence an intrusion. "Are you sure she wouldn't mind? You know, this is a very personal thing she's going through."

Mike sighed. "And who was by your side when you were in the hospital last year? It wasn't me, Buddy boy." Mike remembered feeling as though he abandoned Steve once the critical medical crisis had passed. The reality was that he found it hard to face Steve after nearly losing him. Mike felt so many emotions during that time that he chose to focus on work and breaking in a new partner instead. "Did you feel it was too personal for her to be with you then?"

"No. Actually, it meant a lot for her to be there. She came by every day no matter what. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes I wasn't in the mood to talk, but she was still there making sure that I knew I wasn't alone."

"Well then..." Mike added.

"You're right. I don't have any place better to be," Steve answered with a smile.