Hey, guys! First of all, Happy Turkey Day (I believe it is also Hanukkah...)! Second of all, it's been weeks since I updated, and I feel terrible. School is a killer :( I should say this now before I forget again. I am trying to post every week (instead of Thursdays, I'll try for the weekends), but with an upcoming mandatory STEM fair, I might not post as much. I should stop here 'cause I'm sure you're getting bored with the Author's Note. Okay, hope you like it :)
"Jay, I..um.. have to tell you something," Carl said, scooting closer to me.
"What?" I asked him, scooting a millimeter back. I was never good at the sincere or the "I'm gonna spill my guts out " moments, and the closeness to him was creeping me out a little.
"I sorta," he cleared his throat and stared the floor, "like you ". My face fell. My brain kept telling me, "Relationships mean heartache and heartaches mean walker bait", but my gut told me otherwise. I would say heart, but we weren't on good terms with relying on each other. After the dead started walking, my gut feelings helped me survive.
"My gut is never wrong. Why start now?" I accidentally thought aloud. It was his turn to ask "What?"
"I mean same here." I told him with a slight smile. I didn't feel like I was making I mistake. Carl has always been there for me, through thick and thin, and he's always acted like more than just a friend. Then something hit me. Well, it felt more like it ran me over as it sped over a thousand miles per hour. When I saw everyone after the walker ambush, I didn't see T-Dog. He would've been there if he was... oh god. I started crying a flood when I realized that T-Dog was possibly dead.
Carl finally looked back up at me and noticed that I was crying. He pulled me in a hug, which I was not expecting. My mind suddenly felt the need to shut him out, and I pulled back. I wasn't used to being vulnerable like this. "I'm sorry," I hastily apologized," I have to go." And crawl into a hole and die, I thought before I got up and fast-walked to my own cell.
When I walked in, I removed the dirt-stained socks I still wore, throw them in a corner, and sprawled face-down onto my mattress. Just perfect, I thought, the guy that you have a big chance of liking tells you his feelings and you end up shutting him out in the end. I groaned at the thought of what happened moments before. Sooner or later, I left the cell barefoot to go get my favorite and only pair of shoes from the hallway I left it in. I held onto the end of my knife until my knuckles were white, just in case a rogue walker strayed from the pack. Thankfully, there were none on the way and back, but I was really hoping to stab something.
I ended up avoiding Carl the rest of the day. I don't know whether it was out of embarrassment of practically running out of his cell, or the fact that I shut him out and I don't know what he'll say to me next. My only relief was when Rick asked if I wanted to join him and a few others for a run to a nearby town I passed before. Of course I said yes, but I was nervous. Last time I passed by that place, walkers were hiding in every building, just waiting to attack. I told Rick that, but he suggested we still go because the walkers might have warded people away from raiding the shelves.
When got there, the streets were as barren as I remembered. We debated over splitting into groups, but the four of us decided not to. Daryl and Maggie hardly talked the whole time, so it felt like it was only me and Rick on the run. He was right about the walkers warding off other people. Most of the buildings weren't even raided a quarter through! We had one last building to raid, and this one probably had the lowest amount of zombies. Daryl entered through the rooftop door first and motioned to us that it was clear. It was a general store we went into and it was as stocked as the rest.
The rest of the place only had at least six walkers. The building only had two floors, so Maggie and I went to the first floor while Rick and Daryl finish clearing out the second. It was a usual looking building in the apocalypse. The lights were either completely off or flickering, and it had a slight scent of decay. Maggie walked first and told me to cover the left side while she did the right.
The first few aisles were clear, and I managed to get multiple cans of food. I got to the fifth aisle when I saw something that made my head spin. A female walker stood there, her face was mostly eaten away, but her shirt was very recognizable. It was a picture of a happy family in Hawaii. It was a picture of my family. All I could squeak out at that moment was, "Mom?"