Henry Lynd turned one month old four days into their stay in New York City, and Christina showed up that morning with a tiny cake and party hats for all of them. Vesper thought it a bit much, but was delighted nonetheless, and the two women helped the wide-eyed baby blow out his single candle.
Vesper set upon writing in her journal again as soon as they were settled. She had been attempting to keep up with it, and had given James a very detailed account of Henry's birth, and the few weeks afterwards. But once the colic started, and M subsequently discovered her son's existence, she'd only had time to make a few short entries. There had been very little time to write when she had to pack up and travel to a new country, and then get oriented in a new city.
She also purchased a couple of cameras upon arriving in New York, after it occurred to her that the only picture she had of her son was the one on his passport. So she quickly remedied that, picking up a digital camera soon after they arrived.
Her son had grown so much even in the first few weeks after his birth and she wanted to be able to look back at the photos in the future, to have evidence that he actually had been that small. These early months were so precious, she didn't want to forget even a second of it.
So she set about photographing her son every chance she got, every new thing he did and new face he made captured by the camera. She had also purchased a Polaroid camera, after spotting it in the store and getting an idea. She took a Polaroid of her son every week to detail Henry's growth for James, pasting it into the journal.
M called often to check in on Vesper and the boy, and to ensure that Christina's tenure as nanny was working out well. She also gave Vesper the name of a very reputable paediatrician, setting up an appointment for a check-up for Henry.
Vesper could only accept the woman's favours graciously, not only because she had very little resources of her own, but also because it seemed like M was almost pleased to do these things for her. She knew that despite her stalwart outward appearance, there had to be some measure of guilt the older woman felt over depriving her best agent of the opportunity to see his son grow up. She had seen it a few times, that little waver, just a little chink in her armour. But it never lasted long.
So Vesper took all the aid she could, from M and from Christina, trying very hard to resist that urge to withdraw again from society, to retreat back into that insular life that she and Henry had been living before coming to New York.
It helped that Christina was not curious by nature, nor was she particularly wistful or romantic. She was practical and hard-working, and left Vesper to her own devices most times. She asked no questions about Henry's father, or about Vesper's past. She was content to simply care for the boy and keep the flat clean, making idle chit-chat with Vesper about her own life, about her goals and experiences and family life. This suited Vesper quite well.
Vesper was starting to anticipate the Christina's arrivals in the morning, as she had boundless energy and good spirits, and was smitten with the boy. It was quite nice to have another person to depend on and defer to, and to help around the flat.
Days began to go by quickly as they set up this routine, and soon it was June, the weather becoming warmer and warmer as the weeks went on.
Henry was growing quickly now, his little body starting to fill out and his white-blond hair getting longer and thicker. As June went on, he became even more vocal and coordinated, his arms and legs no longer moving about so jerkily. He seemed more aware of his environment, his eyes now much more developed, his face bright and curious, and she often found him examining faces and objects almost pensively.
He now obviously recognised her face, and was starting to recognise Christina's as well, and one day in mid-June, as she played with him on the sofa after an afternoon feeding, he miraculously smiled back at her.
She gasped, her eyes going wide, and Henry, obviously finding this expression quite comical indeed, smiled again. Vesper found her throat tightening as he grinned gummily at her, and she brushed back the happy tears that fell.
Her heart seemed to swell almost to bursting with each successive milestone he reached. She had thought the love she felt for him upon his birth would nearly swallow her, it was so instinctual and intense, she had not thought it possible that she could love him any more.
But soon after his first smile, a few days before turning two months old, when he laughed out loud for the first time, she found herself dissolving into sobbing laughter at him, at his guileless, full-throated laughter, completely devoid of all inhibition.
It was the sweetest thing in the world to see her son happy, to see him learning and developing and discovering his world. She began to look forward to each day with him, to see what new thing he might do, or even just to peek into his cot in the morning and find him awake and smiling before she'd even had a chance to wipe the sleep from her eyes.
Christina continued to stop by for a few hours each day, though she often took the weekends off. Vesper thought it best to give the girl some time for socialising and doing the things a teenager ought to be doing, to give her some time to be her own person until such time that Vesper was back at work. As well, she didn't want to become too dependent on the young woman quite yet. She wanted time alone with Henry, wanted him to know that she was his mother, and that he was the most important thing in her life.
It had not taken long to adjust to living in New York, although Vesper had to admit she had had so little time to reflect on her life during these hectic days as June turned into July, bringing with it sultry, oppressive humidity and more sun than Vesper had seen in all her days in Gulliver Court.
Her days were so filled with feedings and changings, with strolls down to the park, where she and Christina often took Henry for a picnic lunch, and with tidying and washing up, with trips to the supermarket and attending to her own needs when and if she got the time, that it took her some time before she realised that she'd begun to like it in New York.
She'd not had time, really, yet, to see all the sights, but she'd started to get used to the quicker pace, all those people running to and fro, all trying to get their piece of the American dream. Occasionally she and Christina would go to the library or a museum in the afternoon, but the visits were often cut short by Henry, who would either need feeding or changing, or suddenly be in desperate need of a nap.
She did quite like their flat, as it was quiet and spacious and much more conducive to raising a child than their Croydon flat had been. The fact that Henry had his own bedroom had improved her sleeping habits greatly, and as he began to sleep through the night at three months old, she found herself more rested, which helped her mood greatly and made it much easier to get through the day.
As August rolled in, Henry started to become much more vocal, squealing and cooing and laughing whenever he was awake. He was beginning to find nearly everything funny, and both Vesper and Christina could not resist making silly faces at him whenever they got the chance, his little giggles were so infectious. He was getting stronger, too, and much more coordinated, now able to reach out and touch things he wanted, though he couldn't quite grasp them yet.
He was a beautiful baby, with his long, blond eyelashes and crystal-blue eyes, and he was, though Vesper would not admit it to Christina, starting to look more like his father each day. There was a bit of her in him, as well, in his big, round, plaintive eyes and his heavy, low eyebrows, but everything else, from his colouring to his ears, that were starting to stick out a bit, and his serious, taciturn little mouth was James Bond.
Vesper was surprised to find that she did not despair at her son's uncanny resemblance to his father, but instead found it almost delightful. She had thought it would be an unpleasant reminder of his absence, to see his face in her son's every time she looked at him, but instead she found that her son was becoming a very pleasant reminder of the time that they had shared.
Her love for Henry was so intense, so complete and immutable that every time she saw his little face she thanked his father for giving her this gift. She still missed James desperately, still loved him irrevocably, but as her son grew and changed, she found her heart starting to heal. James's absence hurt less, as the days went by.
She knew now that moving to New York was the best thing she could have possibly done. She'd left all the strife and guilt and heartache back in London, those times now barely more than a memory now.
Of course, she would never admit this to M, or even to Christina, to save face. She still resented the woman for the heavy hand she had wielded over Vesper's affairs, but she was also thankful, in spite of herself, for forcing her to come here.
Because she was finding that she loved being a mother, loved doing it more than she had ever loved anything before. And, as it turned out, only being away from everything she had ever known had allowed her to commit herself to it fully.