Out of Control 11:

Slimy Girly Fun!

By Shadow Crystal Mage

Warning: fic might contain cheesecake, nuts, crack and loli fetish fuel. Do not consume in a public place. Side effects may include never getting laid.

As Negi made his way back to Evangeline to report success on his little book hunt, finally securing a place for Amalthea nee Project X (though he didn't know about the rename yet) can stay, having just come from the deepest, darkest depths of the library, meeting lost tribes of sexy Amazon librarians lost among the shelves, and helped avert a war between the Alphabeticals and the ISBNers, the whole exciting affair we promise to relate in flashbacks, in another part of campus, things were also happening…

Takane Goodman stared at the broken bottle. "This cannot end well," she said, sighing. She turned to Nutmeg, who stood next to Sakura Mei. "Details?"

Nutmeg consulted her clipboard. "This afternoon, the security wards were tripped from the inside. When I went to check it out, I found the bottle cracked on the floor and a trail of slime leading up to one of the air vents. I guess the seal on the bottle wasn't as effective powered by two untrained civilians. They could be anywhere by now."

Takane made a thoughtful hum. "No… no…" she said. "These slimes currently aren't under contract, so they'll be following their instincts. If I were a slime with time on my hands, where would be the first place I went? What would be the first thing I do?"

Mei and Nutmeg exchanged glances and shrugged. "Molest a ninja?" the Love Hina import suggested half-jokingly. "But really, how many ninja are on campus?"

There was a beat.

"At least one?" Takane said.

Kaede whistled pleasantly as she gleefully ignored the voice of the demon in her stomach, which had been implanted in her at birth, offering to grant her wish if she made a contract with it. Unlike other people who got things sealed inside them, like cousin Naruto and B, this one didn't give her any particular benefits, except make her dislike plushies.

Make a contract with me, and I promise to get you your own spin-off series…

"Live-action, kindergarten or Xebec?" she chirped. The evil voice went silent, apparently too disgusted by the options to continue tempting.

In the bushes, three rummy eyes watched.

"She's talking to herself…" Ameko, the one that looked like she had a hat on her head, said.

"Crap, that probably means she was something sealed inside her and is a total badass in a fight we shouldn't underestimate," the one with her hair done up like Makie's, Suramui, said.

"Now what do we do?" Purin, the long-haired one, asked. "We have to make our appearance count for something! This is practically our only appearance anywhere outside the manga! The animes didn't have us, the OVAs didn't have us, the new series skipped over us entirely, this is probably the only fanfic in the internet where we show up at all…"

At that moment, however, coincidental serendipity struck!

"Kaede-neechan! Kaede-neechan! Train us! Train us!" two little girls cried, running up to the ninja.

The three slimes perked up at this.

"Training? Doesn't that mean they're ninja too?" Purin said, her head wobbling as she tilted it thoughtfully.

"Heh he he…" Suramui chuckled evilly. "Easier prey!"

They watched as, even better, Kaede excused herself from training, making the two slump in disappointment. The two drifted off, heading towards some bushes, where they….

The three slimes blinked, and looked up to check the title of the fic they were in.

"We're not in Decadent Habits, are we?" Ameko said suspiciously, watching as the twins started feeling each other up and making out. "Or some other, much lesser quality, PWP lemon work?"

"No, definitely not…" Purin said, after checking they were in the right title. "Should we be suspicious? I mean, two loli ninja spontaneously screwing each other in public, all in easy reach of a trio of loli shape-shifting slime monsters who have a history of molesting young, naked girls…"

"For all of one chapter," Suramui brumbled.

"Maybe we're finally catching a break?" Ameko said. "After all, that Chigusa lady gets more action than we do."

"Only because the lazy slobs who want to redo the manga 'their way' never get past the freakin' Kyoto arc in anything," Purin said. "No, this look too suspicious. Seriously, we're looking around for ninja to molest, and just as we find one that's going to be too hard to attack, we run into two more who are a bigger bundle of fetishes and just happed to start screwing around too? This is Negima! It has more sense than that!"

"Well, to be fair, after the big-lipped alligator moment a few chapters ago regarding the ponies, the mood swing after that, and the dead baby comedy before those, this fic is kinda see-sawing," Suramui pointed out. "I blame the lack of overall plot."

The three slimes took a moment to consider that.

"But maybe THIS is the plot?" Ameko said. "We attack them, establish ourselves as a badass new threat, get some adaptational upgrades from Shadow Crystal Mage-okamisama, some genuine pathos and creepiness when Darkenning-sama swings around again, and thanks to Overmaster-sama, it all careens into a whirlpool of madness and insanity where it turns out we're a credible threat to even Negi-kun! Sexy, sexy Negi-kun…"

There was a moment of silence as they drooled over what they remembered of the male lead. They were still girls, after all.

They watched as the twins got naked, rolling around on the ground screaming out each other's names and proceeding to enjoy themselves quite loudly.

Once more the three of them checked the title. It still wasn't Decadent Habits.

"Screw it!" Suramui screamed, her legs lengthening for extra leverage as she got ready to leap at the twins, who were even them were about to reach (a misspelled word). "I'm taking those two from behind! You with me?"

The other two lengthened their legs as well, got ready to leap…

WHEN SUDDENLY, THEY HIT THE THOUSAND WORD LIMIT!

"What?-!-?-!-?-! NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!-!-!-!-! Our only appearance ever, cut painfully sho–"