Goku and Vegeta were standing in front Bardock, Goku had come to tell him that he's engages, wait engaged he didn't give he a ring, he decided to do that later and that they were engaged since they were planning to be married.
"Dad, I have something very important to tell you"
"Oh God, your coming out aren't you" Bardock said completely seriously, making Vegeta start laughing cruelly at Goku.
"What no, I'm getting, wait what, I'm not gay I have a girlfriend!" Goku yelled in confusion.
"Yer but she's so… Manish" Bardock retorted Vegeta by now was rolling on the floor laughing earning death glares from both Bardock and Goku.
"What do you mean she's not Manish, how is she Manish?" Goku defended.
"Well you know…" Bardock let his voice trail of not wanting to continue.
"NO I DON'T KNOW" Goku yelled indignantly.
"Weeeeeel, she's very aggressive and muscular for a girl… I just thought that she seemed a little masculine" he confessed. "So what did you want to talk about?" Bardock asked trying to smooth things over, Vegeta paused in his laughter before starting again even louder.
"I'm engaged to Chi" Goku announced with a sour expression on his face.
"Seriously, you chose to marry that?" he asked completely ignoring how rude he was behaving.
"Actually she tricked him into it" Vegeta corrected before laughing even harder, earning a scowl from Goku, which he didn't notice as he was to busy rolling around on the floor laughing.
"Oh ok, that makes sense, Goku it's not too late you know, you can still back out of this, just arrange to meet and break t to her softly" Bardock reassured him looking his dead in the eye.
"No I love her, I want to marry her so stop insulting her" Goku yelled furious at the suggestion.
"I'm not insulting her, I'm just telling you not to rush into anything while you're still so young" Bardock defended confidently.
"Oh what, so your saying I should be like Vegeta and fuck half the school"
"You fucked half the school!" Bardock yelled at Vegeta making him finally stop laughing for long enough to give a quick nod. "Nice" he said proudly fist bumping Vegeta.
"Well he stopped now, he has a girlfriend to" Goku shouted at the top of his voice knowing that Bardock would disapprove.
"WHO!" Bardock yelled so loud the house shook a little, both teens grabbed their ringing ears in pain before Goku answered.
"Bulma, Bulma Briefs" he said smirking, knowing that Bardock would now be mad at Vegeta.
"The blue haired girl" he asked and Vegeta just nodded, "THAT'S EPIC" Bardock congratulated fist bumping Vegeta yet again. "You try half the school, get the best one and hold on to it, that's my boy" he went on proudly, unintentionally irritating Goku to no end.
"WHAT" Goku screamed indignantly, "You always mock my being with Chi, but Bulma you love" he goes on.
"Hey what do you have against Bulma, she's the best girl in your school, she a genius, nice, feminine, beautiful and Vegeta's got her" Bardock defended her irritated by his sons badmouthing of Vegeta's girlfriend.
"I have nothing against Bulma, its j-" Goku began only to be cut off by Bardock.
"I don't want to hear it Kakarot, now you apologise to Vegeta for what your childish behaviour and you apologise now." Bardock yelled furiously.
"Ok, I'm sorry Vegeta" Goku pouted before leaving to go to his room.
"Wait Kakarot, if you're getting married there's something I need to tell you two" Vegeta and Goku both looked to each other confused before turning to Bardock for him to continue. "You might want to sit down for this" he intruded gesturing to the coach. Vegeta and Goku shared a look before quickly taking their seat.
"What is dad you're making me really uncomfortable" Goku complained, with a small amount of worry shown on his features. Bardock prepared to begin so taking a breath he started.
"You two aren't human" he began slowly.
"WHAT" they said concurrently.
"Your part of an ancient warrior race known as the Saiyans, for thousands of years we protected the universe from all kinds of threats using our strength, until one day one of those treats defeated us, that monster is known as Frieza. He blew up our planet and killed all the Saiyan alive except, us" he said gesturing to himself and them." Bardock knew he was lying but he must didn't think it was worth telling them the truth that they were a planet of murders, wouldn't go down well so he just wouldn't tell them, simple.
Vegeta laughed mockingly at this before asking the obvious question "If we're aliens why do we look like humans? Hn"
"Akira only knows, but that's not important you are aliens, that's why you're so strong and have spiky hair… but there is more, Goku survived because he was sent to this planet shortly before his our planets demise, I survived because of visions of the future but that doesn't really matter what matters is how you survived." He went on pointing at Vegeta.
"You see, you are the prince of our race and shortly when the planet was being blown up you were sent in a special pod to be found by me when I arrived on earth, when a found you I took you and Kakarot and raised you like a son"
"Vegeta's adopted" Goku asked incredulously.
"Of course I am, like I could really be related to you, it only makes sense that I am the prince of a race, after all look at me I'm perfect" Vegeta gloated making Bardock regret telling him his position. Vegeta had always known he was adopted but didn't really care, Bardock treated him like a son and that was all that mattered.
"Oh oh oh, am I a prince to" Goku asked excitedly.
"Of course you're not; you're probably the lowest possible class in my culture" Vegeta mocked before looking to Bardock for confirmation of his suspicions.
"Actually, the classes are based on strength and as Kakarot is almost as strong as you that makes him super elite" Bardock lie once again knowing that telling Vegeta his son was a 3rd class would result in him never shutting up about it, he could just picture Vegeta going around saying 'I am the prince of all Saiyan bow down before me' or something stupid like that all the time.
"Ok, there's just one more thing I need to tell you, and it concerns your mates" Bardock looked at them and when they remained silent took this as a sigh to go on.
"You see, Saiyan can only have children with their mates and can only have one mate, but when the Saiyan chooses this mate they are very likely to get pregnant and on the full moon Saiyan get super fertile, like if you have sex she will get pregnant levels, you can only choose a mate on a full moon for this reason"
"The mating process is simple, 1st you have sex, then if your meant to be together you'll feel an urge to bit her and she will as well, in doing so you'll create a mental link and be bond to each other for life" he concluded happy that the conversation was over with.
"Ok, so are you saying we shouldn't have sex on the full moon" Goku asked dumbly, Bardock sighed before answering.
"Hell no full moon sex is awesome, and I'm not referring to the position, well that's awesome to, I invented it you know, it's very complex you see you..." Bardock stopped seeing the disgusted looks on their faces, "What I meant to say is that you should be sure that your mate is ready for that kind of commitment, because if you get rejected when trying to mate, you'll feel an unbelievable pain like no other, you both have to be sure" he finished, before leaving to give them both some time to think about the new information that they had gained today.
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