Chapter 12

The radio reminds me of my home far away

And drivin' down the road I get the feeling

That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

(Take Me Home) Country Roads - John Denver

'What?'

'Kid, I've said it once and i'll say it again, your phone manner needs some serious improving.'

Dean pulled up the chair that Cas had stood against the wall next to the phone. It had been a few days since he'd been in the shop, preferring to leave the majority of it's running to his newfound employee for the last few weeks. He seemed to be better at it anyways, the shelves seemed to be more organized and the floor was always clean.

'The only people who ever call this number are you, Sammy and sometimes Cas when he isn't too scared, I don't know why you can't understand that old man.'

Bobby chuckled deeply. 'Well, i've got news so shut up and listen to me properly for once.'

Dean nodded, before feeling stupid as he realised he was still on the phone. 'Yeah?'

'I'm coming down to see y'all. Next week, thought i'd better see Sam before I get dragged off to Ellen's for Christmas, and I need to make sure you haven't burned down that garage of mine.'

'Yes Bobby, I'm talking to you on a phone just sticking right out of the burning rubble. And it's the burning rubble of MY garage, actually. I paid you off ages ago.'

'Ah, shut up. Thursday had better be alright, I already booked my tickets.'

'Wait, you want to stay here?' Dean sputtered. 'Why aren't you going to Sam's like usual, he's got plenty of room at his place.'

'What and you don't? Far as I know you've still got an empty room in that flat, or has that changed? I wouldn't want to impose if you're busy.' Bobby replied, his voice taking on a sly tone.

'No, of course not' Dean muttered. 'Thursday's fine, see you then.' He hung up defiantly, and leaned back against the window, staring ahead without actually seeing anything.

'Fuck' he muttered quietly under his breath, fingers dancing over the keypad of the phone still in his hand.

'So, you just want me to help clean?' Cas asked for what must be at least the twentieth time since he'd arrived. 'There's nothing else I can do to help?' Dean sighed and dropped an empty coke can into the half full trash bag into his hand.

'Look, I appreciate you coming, but honestly, there's nothing else to do here expect tidy up a few things. I just don't want Bobby thinking I'm living in filth, he worries enough as it is.'

Cas nodded and looked around warily. Dean sighed again, wondering why he was so much hard work sometimes. 'If you've got something to say just say it man.'

Cas started and cleared his throat, turning to pick up several coffee mugs off the kitchen table and drop them into the sink which he had filled with hot water. 'I just... you've lived here for five years, right?' He paused for Dean to nod, then continued. 'I just don't understand why it looks like you've hardly been here a few months. I'm not in much of a place judge your decorating skills, but I've only been in Gloria's house for a couple of months and it seems to look much more like a home than your house does.' He looked over at Dean nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. 'I'm sorry, it's probably not my place.'

Another empty can clattered into the bag, and Dean shook his head. 'Nah, you're right.' He sat down heavily at the kitchen table, which was looking remarkably better than it had the day before. 'I dunno, I just never really settled into it I guess.' He looked around to where Cas was leaning against the sink. 'Sam did, he had his room all set up for him and he used to spread out all over the damn place. It felt more like home before he left, but afterwards it just felt too big and empty for just me. I spent most of my time at the filling station and visited Bobby as much as I could, so I guess it started to get a bit neglected here.' The room was getting slowly dim as it approached evening, the light filtering in through the small window bathing the kitchen in a weird yellow-tinged light. Cas was looking at him rather strangely, or least more strangely than usual. He left his position a the counter and walked over to sit down at the other chair. They sat quietly for a few minutes, the gentle noise of the TV filtering through from the living area.

'It doesn't feel like home to me yet either' Cas admitted in a small voice. 'I thought it would by now, but it's so quiet and empty and... different.' He stared down at his hands which were fiddling with the place mat on the table in front of him. 'I'm not saying I want to go back, but I just wish I didn't miss it so much sometimes. It would be nice to have somewhere to really call home again.' Dean nodded, looking over at the man across from him. He always spoke so genuinely, Dean realised, it was like he had never learned how to lie or hide his feelings. Must be nice, he thought slightly bitterly, immediately ashamed as soon as it crossed his mind. Cas looked up with a curious shine to his eyes, and smiled weakly.

'So, you sure there's nothing else I can do? Do you need any help in your garage?'

'Oh shit' Dean groaned, remembering the state he'd left the room housing the impala in when working on it the week before. Deciding to change the oil in the impala after eight beers was not one of his better decisions he wasn't reluctant to admit. 'That would actually be really great. I don't suppose you know how to change oil?' he asked, glancing at Cas's smooth, pale hands in front of him. The other man looked slightly alarmed and Dean laughed softly and smiled with a rare, genuine warmth.

'Tell you what then, just grab a rag from the drawer and follow me.' He stood up and awkwardly clapped a hand onto Cas's shoulder, squeezing it gently for a second or two before heading through the kitchen door. Cas stared after him, wondering why it was suddenly so difficult to get up and follow. Wondering how this man, this strange, distant, kind man would react if he knew that his little flat in it's little remote town was the place that felt most like home to Cas.

I wonder Cas mused as he finally got up from the table and headed for the door in the almost dark kitchen. I wonder if it's possible for a person to feel like home.

Ahh I'm sorry this has taken a while, and even sorrier that it's not very long! Are we looking forward to Bobby visiting in the next chapter? Let me know what you thought! :D