Chapter 18: In Which A Trope About How Tropes Being Described Is Described

By Shadow Crystal Mage, Overlord of All CRACK!, Caster Class Servant With Rank EX Mental Pollution, He-Who-Really-Needs-A-Job, and mayor of a little town up the coast. No, we do not have zombies, don't be absurd. We have nympomanic loli succubi looking for life-long partners who are willing to let them sleep with other women.

"Winter is coming..."

"…STOCK UP ON VIENNA SAUSAGES!"

Chao glared at Konoemon. Or at least, Konoemon's body. "You…" she said in annoyance and not a small amount of disgust. "Couldn't you take the hint with the restraining order?"

"But Chao! I love you!" he cried.

In the table next to Chao, am ermine was puffing away on a long pipe, looking quite stern. Somehow, he'd managed to grow out his fur into insanely long eyebrows and a beard since we last saw him two chapters ago. "While I am grateful I am no longer tied up inside my own desk drawer, I must ask how exactly did you figure out I had been replaced."

Off to the side, Takane coughed. "It all hinged upon of the murder of the pony, headmaster. You see, despite the impostors orders, I felt it my moral duty to continue investigating the death of a complete stranger I had never personally met before."

"You and Mei were role-playing being David Boreanz and Emily Deschanel again, weren't you?" Chao said.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Takane cried. Mei discretely hid the ball they were using to pretend she was pregnant. The blonde coughed. "Anyway, I managed to learn that during her time here, the pony known as Trixie somehow managed to acquire a contractor and excavator's licenses. He traced her licenses and found that she had recently rented earthmoving equipment. This eventually lead us to a large pile of non-descript dirt which we were able to analyze in five minutes. The dirt contained a unique blend of human excrement, rotten egg residue, shredded papers, and bandages that led us to the area under the headmaster's office. From them, it as child's play to interview people and learn that dirt had been dug up to create a secret chamber under the headmaster's office that Trixie helped construct."

"Curses!" Konoemon's body cursed. "Foiled again by flashy Hollywood criminology!"

Mei blinked. "Again?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Damned psychic detective and his black sidekick…"

Ermine!Konoemon was nodding. "Very good, Takane-san. As always, the total disregard for authority of the students of this school have once more foiled an evil plot and made it inconvenient to take disciplinary action. "

"I did it for you Chao!" the Me-Grand-Theft-er cried. "I did it for you! So that we could be happy together."

Chao sighed. "Lingshen…"

"Ah! Why must you be so impersonal with me, one of your own husbands!"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lingshen, you're not my husband!" Chao snapped. "'Chao' is my family name, not my given name! And you're a crazy stalker who mixed up his naming conventions and thought we were married because we had the same first name and once helped me scam a hotel into getting the honeymoon suite!"

"Oh, Chao, honey, that woman you've been seeing has drugged you and infected you with all sorts of vile lies!" Tao said. "Just because you're a little confused is no reason to deny me and your other husbands!"

"THAT WAS A DRUNKEN NIGHT BETWEEN FRIENDS IN LAS VEGAS!" Chao cried. "It was a funny story, we're getting it annulled, that's it! One of them is gay, for crying out loud, and the other is my cousin Syoaran! Honestly, how decadent do you think I am?-!"

As this isn't a chapter written by Darkenning, the answer is, 'Definitely not at all'.

Konoemon coughed. "Well, it seems all is well now. How soon before the two of us can switch bodies?"

A scene change later…

"Wow, that fast, huh?" Konoemon said, smoking his pipe as he sat behind his desk. "Well, nice to see all's well that ends well."

The door opened. "Grandpa, do you know what this rash is?" Konoka asked, scratching at the back of her hand.

Konoemon stared at the three Command Seals on his grand-daughter's hand. "Oh, fuck."

"Okay," Suramui said, whacking the blackboard behind her with a pointer. "First, we recruit Sextum Averruncus for her Dark-Horse Ensemble Surprise Sexy Villain status. Afterwards, we go to Paio Zi and recruit her for her Funny Pervert abilities. Then that little gladiator fairy who was in that three-page fight during the gladiator arc and a single page when they were looking for the sports girls because she was kinda hot and in case we need to fulfill some kinda vore criteria. After that, we need to embark on some mad-cap, sexy adventure and still the limelight away from everyone with our awesome character development, cracky fun, Adaptational Badassery, and lots of kinky loli sex. Any questions?"

Fuuka raised her hand. "Can we get a token male? You know, for variety and contrast? It worked pretty well on StrikerS…"

"Well, that depends…" Ameko said. "We'll have to hold auditions… they'd need high endurance…"

Zazie raised a finger.

Everyone blinked. "When did you get here?" Fumika asked.

Zazie made a cgesture that communicated quite clearly she happened to join the orgy between chapters.

"Ah."

…