A/N

Dear readers

I apologize for not updating in so long. My life has been hectic for the past couple months.

My brother and his wife have been living in New Zealand for the past couple of years. His wife is from there and my brother is from here in the United States. The have been living in New Zealand for a few years and earlier in June I got the call that they're moving back and need someone to stay with. I offered because I had a spare room and started working like mad to get things situated for them to stay. I bought furniture and, of course, the ever decorator in me couldn't help but have fun with it. Now that they're back I've been spending a lot of time with family and getting to know my darling niece.

That's not the only reason I haven't updated in a while though. I finally got a promotion at my work! Granted my hours are now all over the place and I'm having a hard time adjusting to the sleep change, but I'm very excited.

Now that my life has calmed down a little I decided it's time to get back to my lovely writing. My unfinished stories have been yelling at me every time I look and my lonely shutdown computer. I truly am sorry for taking so long. But now that I'm back, I'm not going away any time soon.

Hope you enjoy this story and I haven't lost you. You're in for a wild ride with this one.

~Bluefire-33~

Warning

This story contains extreme and graphic violence, drug use/abuse, and graphic sex not appropriate for anyone under the legal age of 18.

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, song lyrics etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 3, 10/26/13

Rosalie's Pov

"That's all" Esme said "Who wants to read next?"

"I will" I whispered, gently taking the book from her hands.

Hesitantly I turned the page trying to calm my raging emotions. Talking a deep breath I slowly let it out as I looked down at the messy scribble of Bella handwriting.

10/26/13

I wish I could dream. To be able to escape this nightmare and follow my subconscious into the abyss seem like a good outlet to me. Though I do wish that most of the time, dreams also make you weak. When you're unconscious anyone could do anything they want with your body. Just look at the doctors, they cut into your body when you're out cold. Imagine what someone who isn't trying to help you could do.

I took a deep breath, my words faltering as I read the last part.

I could imagine what someone could do. An image of my attacker popped in my head. Shuddering I started to read again as I tried to push that revolting beast out of my mind.

After I escaped I stayed in Egypt for a few months, learning about the history Anhuri came from as I tried to get my bloodlust under control. I wanted so bad to return home to my family. To at least see them would be a blessing. I missed them all so much.

"She's going to see her family." Carlisle said, looking concerned.

"If she's only going to see them from a distance I'm sure she'll be fine." Esme said, you could hear the confidence in her voice.

"She should still be a newborn at this time. Do you really trust her instincts enough?" Jasper asked, alarmed and worried.

Alice shook her head "I don't think Bella could do that to her family. You heard what she wrote; she tried really hard to get her bloodlust under control so she won't hurt her family. So why would she now?"

"I agree with Jasper. She's still a newborn. She still could be controlled by her bloodlust." I said regretfully. "You never know with a newborn."

"Bella won't. You all just see. She'll see her family and leave without incident! I trust her enough for that."

I glared at Alice. "What and I don't? I trust Bella. It's her Vampire I don't trust."

"How can you trust someone and not trust who they are? That just proves you don't!"

"How dare you say that to me! You can't tell me how to trust!" I growled out.

"Enough you two! Alice back down. Rosalie read." Carlisle spoke out. His commanding tone coming out.

Glaring at her, I continued to read.

After I was sure I got my craving for blood in control, I traveled back to the states. I went to Florida first, wanting to see my mother. Oh god diary the scene I stumbled upon… She slaughtered my mother and her husband! The look of pure horror on my mom's face will forever be burned into my brain.

I was shocked into silence. Out of all the outcomes I imagined, why didn't I picture this one?

"Oh, God…" Esme breathed out as we all growled in anger.

"I swear if Victoria is still alive, I'll go after her myself." My husband Emmett growled out

"You're not the only one." Edward hissed, Alice nodding in agreement.

I suddenly felt hatred and sadness all rolled into one. Deep hatred for the bitch that tormented Bella and sadness for all the misery Bells had to endure.

I always felt like my tragic story into this life was one of the worst, but my life never came close to the life Bella lived through. All I could hope for when reading these diaries is that she got her revenge someday.

If not, I will revenge Bella myself and nobody will stop me. It's the least I could do for not exactly being the best person towards her. Even now I doubted her. Something I instantly felt extremely guilty for.

"What's the matter? You're guilt is heavy over there." Jasper said, looking at me with concern. "You know none if this is your fault, right?"

"Ya, I know... it's just, the way I've treated her in the past. And even now I doubted her…" I broke off looking down at the book in my hands.

"Bella cared for you. I'm sure she would have forgiven you."

"Well she shouldn't! I was a bitch! The way I treated her was inexcusable!" I yelled, anger searing through me.

I saw my husband's mouth opened but before he could say anything I shot him a glare and started to read again.

I didn't know what to do, so I stayed there all night. I just sobbed as I stared down at the mangled bodies of my family for hours wishing I was in a sick dream somehow and that I'll wake up any moment. This wasn't a dream though. I was still the monster that she or they created, I was still the woman frozen in time who lives off of blood from poor innocent victims. That bitch was still out there, and if this was a dream I would have destroyed her a long time ago.

At that moment realization hit me. She was still out there, she was still hunting.

Taking some of my mother's belongings, I walked out the door into the shadows across the street as I sent an anonymous call to the police. Sitting on a branch I ignored the pain in my eyes from those bright flashing lights as I watched them storm into the house and take my family out in those black body bags. Before they left the men in blue wrapped the house around in yellow crime scene tape; I remember wanting so bad to cry, but tears wouldn't come.

My tears would never fall again.

I'm not sure if that's a blessing or in itself a curse. It felt like a curse at this very moment.

I broke off, swallowing the lump in my throat as I heard Esme let out a quite sob. I saw her clutch Edward and Carlisle tighter.

I don't want to continue reading.

I know I need to, but as I watched the heartbroken expressions on the faces of my family. The urge to throw this book out the window and continue on with our lives, like we never even started to read in the first place, was huge.

Two loud growls suddenly erupted around the room. Looking up I saw Alice and Edward glaring daggers at me.

"Don't even think about it!" Edward roared out.

"I wasn't!" I snapped, glaring back at him.

Looking down at the book, I took a shaky breath in deep frustration before I continued to read.

When the crunch of gravel alerted the vehicle starting to move, I jumped down racing towards Forks as fast as I possibly could. I knew the chances of me being too late were huge. The she devil had months to get rid of my family; and the smell of my mom and step dad, told me I was already a few days to a week behind.

I've never ran that fast in all my years of existence. Even the trees seemed to blur by my speed. Today I'm still almost amazed I didn't hit one of those trees, then again the only thing that it would have hurt is the soft earth beneath my feet.

I got to forks in a record that would put even the fastest of my kind to shame, racing and praying I wasn't too late to save my father.

I held my non-needed breath as I crept closer towards my old home. The small house was dark as I approached. The empty feeling it gave off made me bite my lip as I scaled the wall and into my old bedroom. The room was exactly the same diary, nothing out of place or missing/gained but dust. It was like I never disappeared at all except for the layer of dust covering everything. It made me want to weep.

"Poor Charlie" Esme said as she ran her soothing fingers though Edwards messy locks.

"I wonder if he's still alive at this time in her journal then." Carlisle pondered, a little hesitant to feel hope.

"I don't know, I know her parents died shortly after one another though." Alice, mumbled, still upset she never saw any of this.

"I hope he's still alive…" I whispered, hating that I got the heartbreaking entry about her family. It may be selfish of me but I didn't want to be the one to break my families' hearts any more than they already were by reading this stupid entry. After all I already had to read about Renee, I would hate to read about Charlie as well.

Taking a deep breath I opened my bedroom door, cringing at the squeak it made when opening. The hallway was submerged in shadows; its darkness gave me chills up the spine. Part of me wanted to holler out for my father, wishing he'd yell back in a welcome surprise. Another deeper part of me though, already knew it was too late.

The walls that normally were littered with framed photographs lay bare as I walked down the hallway. The stairwell had little dust particles floating around and the stale smell of an uninhabited house made my nose scrunch in distaste. I didn't want to believe what I already knew diary… I wished so hard that he moved as I walked around that empty house, so when I came to a stop in front of a memorial mantel I knew there was no point to ever wish again.

Why wish when the opposite will happen?

"That's not true…" Esme whispered sadly

I didn't scream or cry out like I did when I saw my mother; instead I just stared at the photo of my father and I that sat on the mantel. His police badge sat on top a folded flag in the middle and off to one side was a collage of pictures and trinkets of fishing gear, hunting gear, and sport games; while on the other side held pictures of him and me as well as him and his friends. Above the mantel there was a plaque for his long dedication to this town in the police force as well as my missing person reports.

Why would they put something sad like that next to an honored object? This should be happy memories not sad ones!

I felt myself getting angry all of a sudden. I wanted so bad to reach my hands up and tear them down, but what if he wanted them up there? What if even in his death he wanted people to still search and eventually find me?

That's when I really did cry out.

I stopped reading; just staring down at the book and hoping someone else could take the damn journal. The erg to throw this fucking thing out the window was bigger than ever.

My family faces where so heart wrenching that I felt responsible for it. Why did I agree to read this entry again?

Alice looked up at me through her tearless sobs, her fingers twitching like she wanted to yank the book from my hands. By all means go ahead. I don't want to read anymore.

"Give me the book; I'll finish it for you." Alice whispered, snatching it from my hands.

"Alice you don't have to." I heard myself say.

What was I doing? I didn't want to read, yet I was telling Alice she didn't have to?

"We all know you don't want to read Rosalie. So if you don't mind, I'm going to read now." Alice snapped at me.

"You don't need to be rude." I snapped back.

Alice only glared at me as she read from the spot I left off.

I wrapped my arms around my torso and dropped to the ground. I heard myself say "Charlie, no daddy no. Renee, mommy Why…WHY?!" over and over again as I rocked back and forth. The pain was so intense that I would take the fire all over again if only my family were still alive. I felt more alone than ever as I sat on that floor.

I heard Alice softly sob as she read that. The family including myself all seemed hunched over as if our bodies were connected to string that was getting cut down to smaller and smaller pieces.

"I'm so sorry Bella!" Edward cried into moms shoulder.

I saw Jasper bring Alice closer as she clutched the book tighter and continued to read.

Emmett laid his head on mine, his cries muffled by my hair. I brought my arm up, running my fingers though his hair softly.

My poor monkey man…

The sun was coming up when I was finally able to get up off the floor. I felt numb, but under that numbness was a deep rooted anger that even scared me. I felt like I wasn't myself anymore…Am I broken? Have I finally snapped from the shit I've endured?

I felt tears come to my eyes as I listened to Esme gasp and Alice cry.

I wonder if she did snap. Is it wrong of me to almost hope she did? Anger will fuel her need for revenge.

It will keep her alive. It kept me alive during thoughs early years.

We're not there for her, so anything that will keep her alive will help. Even if it's anger.

I suddenly felt eyes on me. Looking up I saw Edwards intense eyes on me, his face an unreadable mask.

"That Anger will keep her alive, Edward, and you know it." I thought to him

He didn't say anything back, his eyes narrowing into glares.

Revenge was suddenly my biggest thirst. Alive read

I will destroy Victoria and all her little bitches! And I promise you this diary; nobody will stand in my way! I will kill everyone; innocent or guilty to destroy her! And I will slaughter, even if it kills me.

Gasps and growls sounded all around.

I looked at Edward's horrified face. I couldn't blame him. I felt the same fear he did.

"Or not…" I whispered in panic.

(A/N)

Again sorry it took me so long…

Besides life, it took me forever because I wasn't sure how to write this chapter. I have two different copies of this chapter on my laptop.

If anyone wants to see the other document just let me know and I'll either send it to you, or put it up as an outtake if I get enough of you wanting it.

Tell me what you think in a review and I'll message you back.

I would like to say thank you to ImpKitty, ArekWhitlock, EclecticKnight88, fitchick, TexasTwilight77, inge80, Sephrenia1, smiles make the world go round, and Mireads for reviewing to my last chapter!

PS.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm not good at that stuff.