A/N: First of all, Happy New Year! Let's pray 2014 will be better for these two. Thank you very, very much for the response to this story. It's overwhelmed me, and I'm so glad you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. Lastly, this is funeral chapter and the rating also teeters on the edge of T, maybe moving into M at one stage because, well, they can't keep their hands off each other forever. I wouldn't say it's explicit, but if you want to skip it, it's the latter half of section 4.

The Long and Winding Road

Chapter Four

Bates placed his hand on the small of his wife's back, carefully guiding her through the small crowds at Downton train station. It was not the first time he would curse his impediment, his cane, but the only way he could sought some soothing contact with Anna was this way. His travel bag, along with a small bag of Lizzy's, were looped around his left wrist, enabling him to guide his wife, whereas his right hand struggled with his cane. Anna was carrying her travel bag. She had insisted on carrying at least Lizzy's belongings, but he had downright refused, hoping to make the journey at least a little bit easier for his wife. She had smiled at his stubborn streak and rolled her eyes before taking Lizzy's hand in her spare.

Their third class carriage proved to be fairly spacious, and also relatively empty, their only company was an elderly lady that, they would soon discover, was travelling to Doncaster to visit her family. Once Bates had safely put away their travelling bags, upon his insistence when Anna had attempted to do so, he sat down on his seat, slowly edging closer to his wife. Society dictated that he should not place his arm around her, but there would be no sharp looks of disgust if he should accidentally brush against her with his arm.

Luckily, after about fifteen minutes of the nostalgic revisiting of memories for the old lady in the carriage – who they had learnt was called Mrs Airedale – she finally succumbed to her book and to occasionally glancing out of the window, and John could now keep his arm firmly by her side, brushing against Anna more often than not.

Anna often looked around at him and smiled, her gratitude exemplified through her soft, blue eyes that John had never, and would never, grow tired of looking into.

He smiled back, and rubbed his thumb across her ring finger, feeling the gold band beneath his touch. Somehow, John knew the three of them would make it through this.

Anna slowly opened the door to her late sister's home, holding her breath as the memories instantly came flooding back. It was not so much the time she had spent here, but just the knowledge that her sister had made her life here, along with little Lizzy. One cast of her eyes sideways told her that Lizzy had turned sullen and even quieter than she had on their journey here, and Anna could only assume that their time here would prove extremely difficult for her niece.

"Are you sure you don't mind staying here, Lizzy?" Anna asked, kneeling down to Lizzy's height and taking her hands within her own. "Your Uncle John and I wouldn't mind if you did."

Lizzy shook her head despondently and, satisfied, Anna stood back up and pushed the door open a little wider, granting access to the girl who walked in and immediately headed in the direction of her old bedroom.

Bates came up slowly behind Anna, placing his hand on her waist, aligning himself against her back in the hope that it would bring her some comfort. When he felt Anna tremble and heard her forcing back her tears, Bates dropped their travel bags and the bag of groceries they had bought, his cane clattering to the ground, and turned Anna in his arms, embracing her fully so that her forehead could drop onto his shoulder, letting her cry. He ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing rhythm until she had calmed down enough to speak. Bates let his lips come into contact with her temple, restricted slightly because of her hat, before he leant down further and whispered in her ear, "It'll be all right. Everything will be all right."

Anna lifted her head from his shoulder, her lip still trembling. However, as she attempted to speak, Anna could not help but bring her hand to her mouth, trying to keep control of her emotions but failing. The only word she could muster was a ragged "John" before she fell back against him, letting his arms wrap around her again, momentarily shielding herself from the harsh reality of the world.

"Let's get you inside," Bates spoke soothingly. "Come on."

"Anna."

Anna woke late on Saturday night in her sister's spare bedroom to a hand shaking her shoulder gently and a familiar voice whispering in her ear,

"Anna."

She slowly began to open her eyes, adjusting to the darkness of the room, and subconsciously stretching her limbs as she turned to face her husband. Her eyes opened fully once turned, but just as she was about to open her mouth and ask his reasons for waking her, she heard it. It was the sound of crying, becoming louder and louder. Anna instantly realised his reasons and nodded, smiling graciously, before she swung her legs out from beneath the duvet cover and promptly headed towards Lizzy's bedroom.

The crying became louder as she approached the little girl's room.

Anna knocked softly on the door, announcing her arrival before pushing it open slowly. She peeked her head around the side, her eyes instantly falling upon the figure sitting up in the middle of her bed. From the moonlight that streamed into the room, Anna could see that her niece's eyes were red, evidence of her crying.

Her heart lurched uncomfortably, and Anna promptly padded across the room and sat beside Lizzy.

"Oh, sweetheart, come here," Anna put her arm around her shoulder, and the little girl instantly fell against her side. She tried to soothe the girl, running her fingers through her hair and pushing it away from her eyes, and eventually she seemed to calm down.

Anna continued to whisper reassuring words into her ear until she fell back to sleep, feeling the weight against her side become heavier. Anna manoeuvred herself out of the small bed, settling Lizzy back down into a sleeping position, before making her way back to her room – to John.

He was almost asleep once more, and as she slipped into bed beside him, he groggily turned over, "She all right?"

Anna luxuriated in the feel of his arm slipping around her waist, a simple gesture that husband and wife had been denied since their wedding night. She remembered almost every detail of that night together, including the way the two of them had eventually fallen asleep. Anna smiled mischievously at the memory. That night, he had slept with his arm around her waist, her back pressed against him so she could also feel the hot, raspy breaths that left his lips.

"She's sleeping again now," Anna told him, turning over so that she could face him. His eyes were closed, but she still watched him carefully, absorbing his every feature. "But I think it will be some time before she is 'all right'."

"Mm," John grunted, which Anna thought was adorable. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," Anna replied, leaning forward gently to kiss his forehead. "Go to sleep, John."

He obliged, pulling her closer to him. Anna complied, still facing him, settling herself down on the pillow as she watched him slowly succumb to sleep.

It did not take long for her to join him.

On Sunday night, at approaching midnight, John awoke suddenly – although, in truth, he had not fallen into a very deep sleep, so it hardly took much for him to wake again. Feeling somewhat of an unsettling in his stomach, he turned worriedly to look at Anna, only to find her fast asleep on her side, one hand tucked beneath her chin. She had been in the same position when he had fallen asleep earlier, watching her.

He scrunched up his face, and was about to sigh and resign himself back to sleep when he heard a whimpering coming from another of the bedrooms on the landing. His heart clenched as he imagined the little girl awake once more, having probably suffered a nightmare again, most likely wanting her mother. His first instinct was to turn and wake Anna, but one look at her peaceful, untroubled face caused him to change his mind.

Anna had barely caught up with her sleep these past few nights, and he knew for a fact that she had not been sleeping well since the news of her sister had reached Downton, so he decided to get up and see if he could console Lizzy. After all, if she was to live with them now, it would not just be up to Anna to take care of her.

Slowly, after putting on his slippers, John padded out of the guest bedroom that Anna had wanted to stay in and across the hallway to where he knew was Lizzy's bedroom.

The whimpers became louder as he approached the door, limping slightly without his cane, although they stopped suddenly as he knocked lightly on the door. There was no response to his knock after a few moments, but as he heard another sniffle, his decision was made as he turned the door knob and slowly peered around the edge.

If his heart could have been pulled from his chest, squeezed and stamped on upon the floor that was how he felt in that moment. It was a reminder of the times he had spent angry at himself for all the hurt he must have inflicted upon Anna. Lizzy was sat up in bed, the duvet covers wrapped tightly around her, whilst her cheeks were stained with remnants of tears.

John swallowed nervously, before opening the door a little more and stepping inside. He softly called out, "Lizzy?"

Lizzy blinked a couple of times, before a few more tears fell from her eyes. Her voice was thick with tears, "Uncle John?"

His heart warmed as he recognised how quickly she had taken to him – had trusted him. It took him no more than a few seconds to cross the small bedroom and perch himself on the edge of her bed, instantly reaching out to smooth the hair from her eyes, hoping that he could comfort her. "Now, what's all this?"

John brushed a tear from her cheek, but Lizzy only cried more. "I want my mum."

"I know you do, sweetheart, I know." He paused for a moment before continuing softly. "You must remember to come to either your Auntie Anna or me when you feel sad or have a nightmare."

Lizzy nodded tearfully.

John knew that he couldn't leave her like this, but he also knew that she was not likely to sleep yet – judging by the alertness in her eyes.

Suddenly, he had an idea.

"How about I make us some warm milk? It might help us sleep."

"Can you not sleep either, Uncle John?" Lizzy asked in a small, almost tired, voice.

"No," John shook his head. "It seems we're quite the same, you and I."

His tone was almost teasing, and Lizzy even smiled a little when he pinched her cheek affectionately. John smiled.

He stood slowly, reaching out his arms for her to climb into, "Come on."

Lizzy obliged and went with him downstairs, settling herself on the settee whilst John made his way through to the kitchen to make the warm milk.

Upon his return, John found that Lizzy had grabbed a storybook from somewhere in the room, and she was clutching it close to her chest. When he sat down, it became clear that she wanted him to read it to her. John smiled and nodded in agreement, placing the two cups down on the small table before taking the book from her and opening it to the first page.

He was pleasantly surprised when Lizzy manoeuvred herself to sit in his lap, her head lulling to rest against his chest. John cradled her in his arms as he read from the book, occasionally stopping to reach forward and pass Lizzy her warm milk. Lizzy enjoyed his reading. She giggled when his voice changed from character to character and sighed softly when the narrative was spoken in such a calm and reassuring manner. But, not half an hour had passed before Lizzy was once again asleep, this time in his arms.

It was not long later that John had fallen asleep too; his head lulling back against the edge of the settee.

He was woken a couple of hours later by Anna shaking him lightly, she having woken and not felt him in the bed beside her.

"Lizzy had a nightmare."

That was all the explanation Anna needed before she smiled tenderly and softly spoke that she would take her back to bed. John tried to argue that he could manage, but Anna fixed him with a stern look which he would rather not have seen escalate. Anna coaxed Lizzy into her arms, even as she woke slightly at the disturbance, and carried her slowly back upstairs, occasionally whispering in her ear and kissing her temple.

John made his way back to bed after clearing their two glasses and washing them in the sink, leaving Anna to settle Lizzy. He waited for her to come back, and ten minutes later she did, although he could immediately sense that something was amiss and, as soon as she had joined him in bed, he gathered her into his arms.

"What are we going to do, John?" Anna's voice was quiet, muffled against the fabric of his night shirt.

Bates replied without doubt and pause, "We're going to cope, and we're going to be happy. All of us."

Anna lifted her head at his words, her eyes shining with admiration and love. Her lip trembled a little at the tenacity of her feelings, her feelings for the man she could now call her husband. The husband she had lived without for over a year, the husband she could now share her life with. Wordlessly, she lifted her hand to his cheek, cupping it gently before she lifted her head further to press their lips together, conveying all that she felt in appreciation and love.

Bates responded to the kiss, however when it began to evolve passionately, he stopped and looked at her. It would be their first time together since their wedding night. His time in prison, no cottage available upon his return to Downton and their exhaustion the previous night had prevented them thus far. Bates needed to be sure this is what she wanted, after all this time and after her recent loss he needed her to be sure.

"Anna, are you –"

She stopped him, putting her index finger to his lips. Anna then kissed him softly, before pulling away and looking into his eyes. They conveyed all that she wanted, all that she needed, and Bates knew that she was sure.

He kissed her then, passionately and fiercely, letting his hand instantly rest among the soft curls of her hair, running his fingers through the strands that had always held him so captivated despite them having been tied back by Anna during her nightly routine. Anna moaned into his kiss as he began to stroke her neck, her cheek, the blades of her shoulders through the thin fabric of her nightgown. Her own hands began their exploration, rubbing against his sides through the fabric of his night shirt and then impatiently moving to the buttons, starting to undo them, all the while their kiss continuing.

However, when Anna had succeeded in her task and had begun running her fingers through the coarse, dark hairs of his chest, John pulled away from their kiss and stared at his wife. His hand slowly descended upon her hair again, his eyes imploring her to let him release it. She nodded, and he immediately started his task, completing it in just a few swift movements. The sight of her blonde tresses falling around her shoulders, draping gloriously across the front of her nightgown with magnificence akin to midday sun, glorified by the moonlight outside streaming through the window, stirred something inside Bates and he let out a shaky breath. The desire in her own eyes as she stared back at him fuelled his response and he moaned, "Oh, Anna" before kissing her again, first her lips and then tracing kisses across her jaw line to her neck before the offending nightgown obstructed his passions. He then began to fumble with her buttons, the tiny obstructions causing him some trouble at first. He managed to undo the first few, and after that he could pepper the skin of her chest with kisses, adorning and covering her with love. Anna's soft moans beneath him spurred John on, and before long he reached to lift the hem of her nightgown, with her permission, to reveal her body in its entirety.

The rest of his garments soon followed at the insistence of Anna's hands and John rolled them both onto their sides to face each other. He gently lifted her leg and wrapped it around his waist, never breaking contact with her eyes as their bodies joined together once more, both more than ready from their previous excursions and the length of their time spent apart.

Both closed their eyes in sweet bliss and sighed in relief, the agonising wait to be together once more finally over.

When John opened his eyes, he noticed that Anna had tears in hers, and for a moment became concerned.

However, when Anna moved her hand from his side and cupped his cheek, kissing him fiercely, he quickly understood her reasons. She had waited for so long, not knowing whether she would ever be able to touch her husband again, besides the occasional brush of their feet beneath the prison tables, and now their time was finally here.

He kissed her back with just as much passion, conveying all that he felt in one of the simplest acts of humans. His hands moved from her face, down the soft outline of her neck and over her chest, settling on her breasts.

Anna moaned her appreciation into his mouth, and John took this as his sign to start moving.

They continued to kiss each other even throughout their movements – either their lips, or any other piece of skin nearest to them. Anna peppered his jaw fondly with kisses between her low, pleasure-filled moans and John adorned her neck and the top of her chest with equally fervent kisses, his breathing becoming deeper.

When Anna began to feel her end nearing, she stopped with her kisses and John seemed to realise this too, for he stopped in his ministrations, each of them now looking the other in the eyes, panting almost breathlessly. Their movements continued as they watched each other closely, watched as their ends neared, and soon Anna was arching her back, her mouth hanging open as she called out his name breathlessly. John followed soon after, calling her name over and over again like a mantra as he let his face drop into the crook of her neck and shoulder.

Anna kept her arms wrapped around her husband, closing her eyes and revelling in the closeness they finally been able to share after months apart. She brought her hands up to cradle his head against her softly, occasionally dropping a loving kiss to it and whispering words of love and affection.

And they stayed that way, wrapped in each other's embrace, until the early hours of the morning, reaffirming their love again and devoting themselves to each other over and over again with whispered promises.

He knew she would need those words tomorrow.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

The graveyard was almost silent, bar the voice of the vicar and the occasional shedding of a tear.

A lot of the village had come to the funeral, all to show their support. It warmed Anna's heart that her sister was such a popular person in the village, and had been evidently appreciated amongst her community. She had received many sympathies from the villagers and a lot of wishes for the future, some urging her to send them letters every so often to let them know how Elizabeth was getting on.

Anna had reached for Lizzy at that stage, pulling her softly into her side.

John had not left their side throughout the service, and Anna knew that without him there she would have crumbled. They shared a brief embrace under the shadow of a tree when almost everyone had left the graveyard. One of the villagers had taken Lizzy along to the local pub where a small gathering would be held whilst Anna and John had spoken to the vicar and arranged some important matters.

"You can do this," John whispered as he pulled Anna into his chest, letting her cry the remainder of her tears. He rubbed his hands up and down her back comfortingly. She sniffed in his arms. "Just a little longer," he continued to reassure her. "Just a little longer then it's just us."

He knew she was feeling self-conscious, especially after she had almost broken down in the middle of her speech during the service. When Anna's voice had started to wobble, John knew that she was close to breaking. She had cast one glance up at him, and in that instance he had been up there with her, helping her continue.

John did not want her to be feeling like this. He wanted her to grieve as she should be doing at the loss of her sister and close friend. But, as he thought carefully, she would probably cope better when the three of them had returned home, when she felt comfortable within her surroundings.

"Are you ready?"

After a few moments of contemplative silence, Anna nodded her head against his chest. She stood back a moment later, her gloved hands wiping at her eyes and nose.

John instantly drew out his handkerchief, offering it to her. "Here."

She smiled her gratitude and took the handkerchief, coincidentally one which she had stitched his initials into the corner during his time in prison. It had been one of the tasks that had reminded her that she was his wife, and it had felt so domestic. It would just be like mending his clothes – his shirts or socks – when the two of them would eventually have a home of their own. It had been one of the few tasks she had found comfort in.

When Anna had finished with his handkerchief, she folded it carefully and slipped it back into his jacket pocket.

Their closeness did not go unnoticed by the two of them, and both offered the other a sheepish smile. John lifted his hand and wiped away the remaining traces of her tears, and she subconsciously leant into his touch.

"Ready?"

He offered her his arm, and she took it as husband and wife made their way to the gathering.

Not even an hour had passed, and already Anna was ready to go.

John had bought her a cider, but she had failed to even touch it. She spent most of her time looking across at Lizzy as she sat in a seat in the corner of the pub, fidgeting with her dress, although smiling politely when someone approached her.

She had been so brave, Anna thought, as she cast her mind back to the service, she had barely heard a sound from the little girl at all. Even when Anna had started to cry, Lizzy had seemed determined not to.

Anna could feel her husband behind her, his hand splayed across the small of her back. He knew she was beginning to feel out of sorts here, and once Anna had turned around she noticed that he too was looking across at Lizzy with the same concern as she.

"We should get her back soon," John spoke softly. "Are you hungry? We can get something to eat here, it will save you cooking something later."

Anna shook her head. "I'm not hungry. But you should eat something, and Lizzy should."

"You need to eat too," John protested.

"I'll be right as rain," Anna replied, rolling her eyes at his concerned expression. "Honestly. I can rustle up a sandwich later if I need to. And I could always steal some of yours."

John shot her a despairing look and rolled his eyes but she shook it off.

Sighing, he conceded defeat. Anna swatted him lightly on the arm and watched with a tender smile as he walked across the room to Lizzy, slowly sitting down beside her.

She watched as Lizzy smiled slightly and nodded at whatever John was saying to her, before the little girl took his hand and the two of them began to head across the room towards the bar. Anna watched as John settled Lizzy down in a quieter booth, away from the main gathering in the pub, and then went across to the bar and ordered their food. Anna felt as though she could fall in love with him over and over again when she watched him take care of Lizzy, as she noticed the bond that the two had formed after such a short time.

John looked up for a moment and caught her eye, winking as he saw her.

She felt her stomach flutter, and she smiled back. God I love him, she thought to herself before going across to sit with the two most important people in her life.

Anna was packing up the last of the kitchen utensils into a large box later that evening, watching Lizzy on her swing from the window, when John came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck, unable to resist, and Anna hummed in response.

"At least we should have our cottage by this weekend," John suggested.

Anna smiled and allowed her head to fall back against his shoulder, "At last."

John chuckled, tightening his hold around her. "It will be nice to have our own space at last, and somewhere Lizzy can settle into."

At the mention of Lizzy, the two of them looked up and out of the window at the little girl who was still sat on her swing, her expression seemingly far, far away. Neither thought about going outside to get her yet, despite the time getting on and the fact that she would need to be in bed soon to get enough sleep before returning to Downton Abbey tomorrow. Both wanted to respect her privacy and, since the cottage would be sold soon, wanted to give her some time in the only home she had ever known.

Anna was only so aware of how difficult it was to leave home for the first time – as was John – and she was highly appreciative that the family had managed to secure their cottage for this week so Lizzy would soon have a place to associate with home.

"What are we going to do about the cottage – the proceeds?" Anna suddenly asked John.

"We could speak to Mr Murray," John suggested. "Maybe we could use them for Lizzy's schooling in the future? Or whatever else she might want. Let her choose when she is older."

Anna nodded silently and moved her arms, her hands covering his as they lay together across her stomach.

John chanced a look at the time. Past nine o'clock now.

"Come on, let's get her inside. She needs sleep, and so do you."

Anna did not need to be asked twice.