The Banana Slug: Alucard vs. Jason Voorhees. A battle between two titans of the world of horror and blood that children of all ages wanted to see.
And then, we meet the enigmatic Mr. Griffin and see how different and how similar he is to his predecessor.
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 3: The Incorrigible Mr. Griffin
Dear Sir Integra,
What can I say when we finally met the creature known as Jason Voorhees? Nearly sliced my dear fledgling right in half. Quatermain attempted to handle the matter, but even though the spirit is willing, his mind and body is still a bloody mess. He was no match for the behemoth.
By the time you get this, we should be in London by now. Tell Bond what a terrific choice he made. Never have I met a beast that could generate as much fear as I can. I think I am going to like this boy.
-Alucard
Jason looked around, seeing the terrified faces as he breathed calmly and stood there with the machete in hand. There were so many new faces, and one familiar one. Calmly, he stepped down the steps as he walked closer to them. He saw terror in Conan and Velma, a tired expression from Seras, determined anger from Quatermain, and Alucard seemed to be studying him, waiting for Jason's next move. They didn't matter to him who they were, in his eyes, they were trespassers.
The killer slowly came closer and closer, raising his machete and ready to cleave them like butter, like the rest. A loud bang was heard, a gun in Quatermain's hand shot at Jason's.
Jason watched as the machete fell down to the ground, looking back only to find Quatermain slamming himself right into Jason's chest. The hunter attempted to wrestle with the undead giant, causing Voorhees to lose his footing a couple of times.
"Alucard! Stop gawking, damn it all! Do something!" yelled out Quatermain angrily. Alucard calmly got up, dropping Seras on the ground as she squeaked lightly. Conan yelped and elevated her back an inch from the mud.
He looked with anger at Alucard as he simply walked to the hunter and his quarry as they wrestled. Jason, however, was too strong for this recovering drug addict as he grabbed his arms and roughly throw him at a tree, slamming at it against his right arm.
A loud snap was heard as Leonard screamed in pain. "Jesus! My arm!" he cried out as he slid down to the mud, clenching his dislocated arm.
Alucard simply grabbed Jason's arm and threw him against a cabin, which crumbled upon impact over the juggernaut. Alucard simply smirked and grabbed his gun, and began shooting at the rubble with his gun. The mortals looked at him with surprise, even though they know of his supernatural origins that to defeat such a beast was hard to believe. Seras sighed and watched as he gave a few more shots from his gun into the wreckage, with her lips closing quietly. Leonard growled as he got up, glaring at Alucard in annoyance.
"Damn it, man!" he shouted, "We were suppose to bring him back alive!"
"Oh, stop your blabbering, boy!" snapped Alucard, turning around with the gun in his hand, "Do you honestly think that a few gunshots can sate this crude beast?"
After he said this, Jason burst from the wood and slashed Alucard in half. The machete sliced through his arm to his chest and finally to his other arm. The red-coated man fell into pieces, his arms flopping on the mud as his upper half splat on the dead grass.
"Oh, bother," sighed Leonard, looking in pity at the vampire's fate. He then glared up at Jason, who raised his machete once more and began stomping back over at them.
Like a flash of lightning, a loud bang was heard as Jason was sent flying into a tree by the bullet of Seras' tank rifle. She crouched in front of the surprised detectives, holding it in both hands as she kneeling with the Harkonnen in hand. A loose part of her uniform began sliding down her arm as she quickly yanked it up in desperation, not wanting her bountiful breasts getting a glance from any unsavory persons.
"Bloody…" she growled, yanking it up again as Jason slowly got up from the blast. "Conan! Velma! I could use help here!"
"What am I suppose to do? I doubt my knock-out tie will work on that big ape!" yelled Conan in defense.
"Don't look at me, I'm no help here!" defended Velma, putting up her hands.
Jason glared over at Seras, and she did as well. He simply raised his arm up as he threw his machete at her the same time she shot another round into his chest. As he flew into the lake, the machete flew straight into her forehead and impaled it harshly. The impact forced her to fly past the two and sink into a large tree. Desperate to help, Conan ran to her and tried yanking the machete out.
"Seras!" he yelled out, but as he tried to pull the blade out, Jason stomped over and grabbed his hair. He roughly yanked him up and looked into the young detective's frightened eyes with his own, those eyes that lie innocence. Jason simply looked at his face, terrified as Jason pressed his hand against his cheeks, possibly pondering about what to do with the young detective.
Before Jason could make up his mind, Velma clenched her teeth and pulled a gun from her coat, angrily pointing it at Jason and shot him in the face. Jason stumbled back and released his grip of Conan before Leonard leapt out and locked his arms around his throat. Conan fell down at the mud and watched in shock as Quatermain wrestled with Jason once more.
"I got him! Get that blasted woman off that damn tree!" roared Quatermain as Jason wildly tried to shake him off. Conan nodded as he glared at Leonard's discare, running to Seras and looking at her as she looked up at him.
"Oh…never had…this before…" she croaked out painfully.
"Don't worry, I'll get this off!" cried Conan, desperately trying to yank the blade from her skull as she yelped and cried in pain.
"Ah! Oooh! Nuh! Stoppit! It's hurtin'!" she yelled out, swatting at Conan.
"It can't stay in there!" argued Conan, looking over to see Jason trying to reach Leonard as he kept slamming his fist into the mad giant's head, doing little to nothing to him.
"Stop your foolishness…" said a dark voice, with Seras and Conan looking to see a dark shadow rise from the mud, with red eyes glaring at the behemoth with a hungry grin filled with shark-like teeth. Jason stopped and stared at Alucard blankly, with Leonard Quatermain frozen with his arms still clinging on.
"Quatermain…get off…now!" growled Alucard, with Quatermain complying quickly. Jason took this chance and trudged at Alucard with killing intent, ready to rip him apart with his own hands. But, before he could even get close, the demonic vampire raised his hand and curled his fingers.
Roots from underneath flew out of the ground and impaled Jason's arms and feet, which they began twisting around his body and breaking his limbs in the process. In almost no time, the monster was in a cocoon of tree roots as Alucard, a shadow with millions of red eyes watched with glee.
"I can hear your heartbeat…you are not afraid," growled Alucard calmly, "…I am going to like you, boy." He was silent as he raised his hand higher, with the roots lifting the large monster all the same. He then let his hand drop as the roots slammed Jason into the ground savagely, with Alucard constantly swaying his hand around as the roots bashed Jason Voorhees against trees, cabins, and the ground like a celestial object crashing into the earth's crust.
A grin appeared in the shadow, delighted in seeing the Monster of Crystal Lake broken over and over again, knowing he can heal from this easily. Conan and Velma watched in shock as Leonard rushed to Seras' side, groaning as he shambled down, sitting next to her as he clutched his dislocated arm.
"Hard to…take in?" let out Seras, her eyes looking over at him with the machete still in her forehead.
"Aren't you capable of yanking that thing out?" grunted Leonard, changing the subject as he looked at her with annoyance and pain.
Seras frowned and simply said, "Of course…I just…forgot." She slid up to sit between Leonard and Conan as she slowly slid the machete out of her head, with Velma watching in pure shock.
"I…I still can't get over that," breathed out Conan, shaking his head slowly.
"You will…" sighed Seras calmly, only to yelp and jump back when the body of Jason fell from the sky, flat on his face and without conscious. Alucard stood behind him, back to normal with a smile on his face.
"That, Mr. Quatermain, is how you bag a prey," boasted Alucard proudly. Leonard growled with contempt and got up with Seras, whom was still tugging the ripped part of her shirt up for common decency. The whole group circled around the captured beast, with Velma Dinkley casually grabbing a cigarette and lighting it as the butt was in her mouth.
"How the hell are we going to lug this back to the ship?" questioned Jimmy Kudo.
"Simple, that will be me and my fledgling's job alone," answered Alucard coldly, "Lest he suddenly awake and give Quatermain another work-out."
"Damn you, Alucard!" growled an insulted Quatermain, 'One more blasted remark and I will-"
"Oh, will you both shut it!" butted in Seras angrily. She then took a deep breath and said, "The League is complete. I'll help carry the undead retard back to the ship."
"Anyway, thank you," released Velma, finishing her cigarette and letting it drop on the back of the beast spitefully, "…now, take this monster out of my sight…"
Later, in the dark evening, Velma stood in front of the docks with Conan, looking at the Nautilus as it was laying in the water like a waiting apocalypse.
"I…I never thought I'd see the Nautilus so close and actually live…" she breathed out, "or seeing Jason carted away for his crimes.""Too bad it's not a cell," said Conan morosely.
Velma looked over, seeing Conan look at the glimmering water with melancholy. "Thank you…it feels like a heavy rock was lifted from my heart," she said to him, "I will do anything in my power to find more about the people who did this to you and help find a cure. From one detective to another." Conan looked up at her with a hopeful glint in his eye, but was unsure how she could help in such a matter like this.
"Thank you, Miss Dinkley," let out Conan shyly, "I…I'm sure when this is all done with, Jason will know true justice."
"There's no such thing, Conan," she calmly spoke, then leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. Conan gasped and froze, watching as she got up and walked away. He pressed his hand on his forehead as he blushed, not noticing Alucard step from behind the door.
"Conan…time to visit lovely old England," he said with a smirk. Conan looked over, then quickly rushing over at his side. The hatch closed roughly after him, with the Nautilus sinking back into the water to the other side of the ocean.
Hellsing Organization
July, 2009
Sir Integra simply read the note at her desk, sighing lightly as she looked out her window leaning against her chair. She was displeased to see James Bond walk through the gates casually with a smile on his face. What really bothered her was that he always glanced to his left…as he was talking to thin air.
Her attention was turned away when she heard the door open, revealing Alucard as he walked to her desk with a smile.
"Everyone's downstairs for briefing, James Bond should be here shortly with our seventh member," said Alucard, "He also said he was bringing someone else that needs our help…any ideas?"
"No…I don't trust him," growled Integra, "He's a spy, he's trained to keep and learn secrets. He's hiding something, I can see it through his shit-eating grin."
"What do you expect? He's a Double-O, sir," added Alucard, "Besides, all he wants to do is herd us freaks together for the good of the empire. The only thing I am worried about is this new Millennium, this splinter group. I am paused only because of their victory last time we fought them."
"Yes…five years…" she said deeply, looking at the desk with her one eye, "Five years you were gone…I never thought you'd come back."
"Neither did I," replied Alucard, frowning as he walked up beside her, "…All because of some cat-child. Millennium almost destroyed me, I was lucky to rip that boy out of my system. If this New Millennium is as dangerous as the last…"
"Don't…" snapped Integra slightly, "Take me to Bond. I want to have a word with the bastard."
Bond sat at the table, twiddling his fingers calmly with Nehal, Conan, and Seras sitting across from him. Leonard was looking out the window as he stared at the city before him.
"How is it, Mr. Quatermain?" asked James Bond, "Seeing London again? How is it?"
"…Pfft," growled out Leonard, "Same as I left the old bitch. Dreary, cold…and filled with bad memories."
"I'm surprised it still stands, after what I heard about the last Millennium," added Conan bluntly.
"Ah, well, England always stands in the wake of destruction," sighed James shamefully, "The Empire has suffered many attacks, both physically and politically. Attacks such as the Rage Outbreaks, the conspiracy in Sanford, and, of course, that dreadful DeLarge Controversy."
"No better than the rest of the world, don't beat yourself up," hissed Leonard, "Conan's here has to deal with giant monsters every damn day."
"Not every day, you shambling mess!" snapped Conan angrily. Before the argument could escalate, the doors swung open to reveal Sir Integra and her vampiric servant walk into the meeting room.
"Mr. Bond," she greeted half-heartedly.
"Where is Jason Voorhees?" asked Bond bluntly.
"Downstairs," butted in Nehal Nemo, "My men have been watching him. It should surprise you that he hasn't killed any of them yet."
"Oh, the boy knows better," chuckled Alucard.
"There's always a bigger fish, right?"
The room was silent after that, Sir Integra looked around before glaring at James. Bond sighed with a smile, saying with a laugh, "I apologize, Sir Integra. Mr. Griffin."
The chair next to Bond pushed back as Integra watched with discontent. "…So, this is the Invisible Man…" she growled out, then turning to Alucard and hissed out, "And you didn't tell me he was here?"
"Didn't want to…ruin the surprise, my dear," chuckled Alucard.
"Sorry for shockin' ya, but I like to keep me audience guessin'," laughed the voice of Mr. Griffin.
"Mr. Griffin," breathed out Conan in shock, "I have heard of you! A thief. A man that could never be seen unless he wanted to."
"That is a misconception, I can't be seen at all," teased Grifin, "Is that all they told ya 'bout me?"
"No…you are also a psychopath," berated Conan, "Always in a crime scene a dead body is left, either with its neck snapped or throat slit. Adding to that is constant…womanizing."
"Aheheh, can't help it, it's part of me nature," hissed Griffin, "That's why I'm Mr. Griffin. Gentleman Thief, scratch the Gentleman."
"So, this is your good League?" scoffed Nemo, "A child, a drug-addict, three undead monsters, and an invisible man that can't keep his mouth shut? This was obviously a mistake."
"Peace, Captain," urged Bond, "Despite Griffin's attitude and viciousness, he is almost impossible to catch. We need you, all of you, if the Empire and the world is to survive the oncoming storm."
"So…what is it that we should be worried about this time?" questioned Seras.
"We think they, the New Millennium, might be planning another attack on Britain," explained James morosely, "However, I doubt it will be with something as extreme as zeppelins in the sky and the blood of cat-children. Oh no, M-16 believe it is something more dangerous, and it has to do something with anti-gravity."
"What the hell are you talking about?" scoffed Conan loudly. The doors opened again, with Alucard and Integra looking to see two M16 agents bring in a meekly scientist into the room. He was tall and sported a strong chin and slick black hair, but he sported a nervous face as he looked around. He wore a stereotypical scientist garb as he walked over at the table, sitting at the end of it.
"I…I thank you that you offered to help me…especially after you sent…all that money," said the man.
"Not a problem," said Bond calmly, then introducing him loudly, "Gentlemen, this is Professor Antonio Utonium. A gifted scientist from America that has suffered a great loss, no?"
"Oh, yes…more than one," he sighed out, pressing his hand against his forehead, "My lab partner…was killed just five days ago…and all our research on the Cavorite….gone, all gone."
"Wait…the Cavorite?" let out Nemo in surprise, "…I have heard of the Cavorite…but I believed that the research died with Dr. Cavor?"
"It did, and me and my partner started from scratch trying to develop it," explained Utonium, "We aren't the only ones that are researching the Cavorite. People have been trying to crack the code since that one businessman died when he left Cavor to die on the moon…crashing into London and destroying the ship in the process."
"And Millennium is after the Cavorite?" asked Conan, he was replied with a nod from the professor.
"At least, that's what Agent Bond told me," he said.
"Yes…and we can always trust Agent Bond," calmly hissed out Sir Integra.
"Aheheh, you can just feel the hatred emanate in this room, eh?" spoke Griffin bluntly, causing Utonium to jump in surprise.
"Oh…hm," let out the professor, "I…I hope you can get the notes back, Dexter was a smart lad. He didn't deserve being murdered…like he was…"
"Which is why the League will be heading to Liberty City to investigate any leads to Millennium and the murder of your friend," said Integra, "We may be able to find Millennium if we can look at the crime scene. Perhaps the local police department may have some answers."
"In a town like Liberty City," hissed Griffin, "I really doubt it." Utonium looked around the room curiously, a brow raised as he rubbed his chin.
"Yes, well, anything we can get, really," finished James with light agitation, "Professor Utonium, we will inform you of any news of your friend's demise."
"Oh, uh, thank you," he replied, getting up and slowly making way to the door.
"My apologies for putting you in such strange company, professor," added Integra as she lit a cigar.
"Oh, don't!" laughed Utonium as he walked out the door, "I raised stranger."
In a dark empty hallway, a figure, feminine like a cat, walked down to a single door. She reached out, twisting the knob before pushing it open. A light followed instantly, revealing a balcony and another figure standing at the edge. The woman walked closer, wincing as the sun hit her.
Her skin bronze and her hair a great black, her yellow eyes glaring at the light of the world. The woman swept the hair from her face with a smile, this tall thin woman standing in the balcony, wearing black leather pants that connected with equally colored boots and a brown vest sparsely adorned with animal teeth.
She approached the figure as he stood away from her, the man wore a black Victorian trench coat that hid his back, with his black pants and his formal black shoes poking out underneath.
"You are anxious," she stated bluntly.
"…In a way, my dear," growled the man in a deep yet elegant English accent, "my mind has been in a quandary over these unfortunate events. Dexter was not suppose to die…what happened?"
"The fault was not mine, my love," she said with shame, "Your men did exactly as you said, get the notes and leave unnoticed."
"And yet, the murder still resonates, and the League will hound it," sighed the man with his leather gloves twisting the railing, with the sound of whirring from the man. The man sighed and turned to her, revealing his mechanical state.
He wore a red button shirt with a black tie under his coat, and over the shirt and tie was a black vest. On his head rested a tall black top hat, with his head completely mechanical, made of black steel except for his face...his ghastly face. It was pale blank with no facial features except for a pair of glowing red eyes. It looked like a Barn Owl with glaring red eyes glowing inside the mild darkness within.
"I am quite irate about this turn of events," he said simply, then continuing on spitefully, "I believed the Black Organization would be a boon to our future, but crime hasn't changed since my days. Always one weak link in the chain."
"My love, must you be so pessimistic?" said the woman with a calm smile, "The League know little to nothing about our plans, they will be distracted by the murder and by then…then our New Millennium will bring true glory to this world."
The man walked over to the woman, placing a hand against her cheek. "Moreau, my dear, one must always expect the worst, or else they will never be prepared for chaos ruining their order. It is my nature to evaluate every situation from its perfections to its imperfections. Elementary, as I would be so bold to call it."
She smiled and pressed her hand against his, looking at his devil eyes with her own. "Your soul is so chaotic, love, the New Millennium will destroy all opposition," she cooed to him, "With your leadership…"
"Detective…"
The Banana Slug: Damn you, Mr. Griffin. How dare you be a title of a chapter and NOT be the center of attention for the plot! A pox! A pox on you!
Huuurrrh. He annoys me to no end.