The Banana Slug: So, if the New Millennium didn't kill Dexter, who did? Was it Mandark after having another insane fit from a flashback of Deedee's death after one of his own Jack-Bots he stole from Jack Spicer shot at him which also turned Dexter into a spiraling depression as he and Blossom of the Powerpuff Girls start a relationship and WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT!? XD
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 4: Just Another Day
A desolate and broken home, with broken windows and ruined walls, there was only one occupant. A figure sitting on a ruined couch, with a smoking pipe in one hand as he looked dazed at the leaking ceiling above him. He sat in front of a coffee table looking at a broken television.
In the corner of the living room was the skeleton of a dog, with ants and flies infesting the corpse. The figure sighed and took another puff of his pipe, groaning as the drug filled his body and do its best to kill the pain.
The figure darted his blue eyes to the window, but nothing was there but the sound of creaking. "God?"
The sound of creaking continued, but no answer. "Is that you God? It's Johnny…I think I'm dead again."
Atlantic Ocean
Late July, 2009
The Nautilus broke through the seas like a rampaging kraken, water making way at its crashing. This metal beast was not alone in this voyage through the ocean surface, for inside were men. Desperate men.
Men who had their lives taken away by those with power and resources, who joined with the terror of Nemo for she had the benevolence and patience for those without homes and families to return to. She was one of those men, desperate yet doing whatever they will to survive.
The captain herself was in her parlor, her control room, her resting place. She gazed out at the sun glistening on the waters so afraid of her presence from her windows, scattering when ripped by the water.
She turned around to see the rest of her League sitting around the table, drinking tea from her personal storage. Mr. Griffin was fully dressed, wearing a black jacket that was zipped up to his invisible neck. Along that were black jeans and sneakers, with his hands made visible by black gloves. Finally, he wore a black top hat and a monocle, with a cigar in his mouth and a cup of tea in one hand.
His physical outline was seen through his clothes. Griffin didn't fit the bill as a stealthy person by design, for he was tall and well-built.
All of the League, minus Integra and Bond, were there. Alucard, Quatermain, Seras, and Kudo, even Jason sat at the table. He didn't drink a single drop of his tea, simply staring at the brown water and became lost in it.
"So, what can you tell me about Dexter, the scientist murdered by Millennium?" Conan asked Alucard, taking a sip as the young detective was uneasy sitting next to Jason Voorhees, whom was still like a statue and dead to the world.
"A genius since he came out of the womb, from what I've heard," stated Alucard, "A pity. Met him once, smart kid, if not an arrogant son of a bitch."
"Had it comin'," scoffed Griffin, "Only an idiot lives in Liberty City. Good place to visit, horrible place to life."
"Must you always be an insufferable bastard?" hissed Conan, "Have you no respect for the dead?"
"Please," laughed off Griffin, "I may be in this little rag-tag group of freaks, but it is only so that I can avoid gettin' ten thousand volts shot right up me arse. In the end, I truly work for only one person, me: Invisible Man the Fourth."
Conan only glared at the translucent lecher, deciding it is not worth it to argue with such a self-obsessed murderer. "…Anyway," he said hastily, changing the subject and getting out of his hopeless argument, "How exactly was he…murdered?"
"Stabbed fifteen times," stated Alucard, "Five in the gut, three to the neck, two on his right arm, and five more to the face. He was around twenty years."
"Utonium was right, he didn't deserve to die like that," added Quatermain, looking at his tea as he takes another sip of his tea, then asking, "Was he…survived by anyone?"
"Yes," said Conan quietly, "A sister in Miami owns a dance studio, she was informed yesterday. They are still trying to break the news to his parents down in Quahog, I'm not-"
"Am I the only person who thinks this is…too lowbrow for Millennium?" blurted out Seras, holding her cup of blood in both hands, unaffected by the undead juggernaut sitting next to her.
"Lowbrow?" questioned Quatermain bluntly, "Lowbrow compared to what?"
"Compared to just a simple slit to the throat or a twisted neck," answered Alucard, "This murder is armature work. Even Jason could do more elegance in a murder such as that."
Nemo walked closer to the group, adding her own thoughts to the conversation. "Perhaps this New Millennium disbanded from the original because of its disorder. Perhaps we are overreacting over something as simple as failures of the Major."
"Not at all!" scoffed Alucard, sipping his blood before stating obviously, "If they were truly failures, then they would have been killed off. The New Millennium had nothing to do with the murdered scientist, but the Cavorite notes…that is a different story."
"Are you saying there is a third-party!?" argued Quatermain, "Preposterous!"
"One truth prevails, Sir," stated Conan, sipping his tea as a the room was silent. Griffin looked over to Jason, still motionless as the Invisible Man chuckled. "You've been awfully quiet!" he teased, "Care to add anything else?"
All that was given from the murderous beast was a slight glance, returning the silence to the League. Every one of them stared at him, not sure what he would do. He was just as unpredictable as Alucard.
Jason's gaze returned to his drink, not caring for its taste, but the way it reflects his visage was enticing to the beast.
Liberty City
Late July, 2009
Alucard, Quatermain, Conan, and Seras stood in front of a large building in the decayed city of Liberty City. The name was changed from "New York" to that after the extraterrestrial attack at least twenty years ago, in a strange attempt to gather more patriotism in an alliance that was ultimately short-lived. All it did was drive the city deeper into insanity, as if the heart of this city turned dark and twisted from the evils of the world raping this good city.
The sun was blotted out by the fog in the sky, only hiding the evil of the angry and frustrated people as they agitated and insulted one another in spite and an attempt to get a single warm pulse from this evil city.
A movement is out trying to change it back to the old name, in an effort to save the sanity of its people.
Crime and lawlessness prevailed, with hatred and anger its blood. The four souls stood in front of the white building as gunshots were heard, as screams and curses were uttered to its highest volume. This city is insane and cold.
"So, this is it? …the murder scene?" asked Quatermain.
"Obviously, a blind man could see that, Mr. Quatermain," said Seras, walking to the door as Leonard looked at her with contempt.
"Bond was able to have the local LCPD move out, saying the FBI will take care of things from here," stated Conan, "Perhaps we can find the clues to Millennium's where-abouts, and the murderer of Dexter."
"I don't need a child to figure that one out," laughed Alucard, walking up the stairs with the others following him establishment was empty, with yellow tape blocking the way upstairs. Alucard simply phased past them, much to the shock and awe of Conan and Leonard.
"Bloody…" let out Leonard, then growling as he glared with irritation, "Hmph, bloody show-off."
"Must you always be such an old man?" teased Seras, taking a knife and slicing through the yellow tape casually. Leonard just rolled his eyes at her comment, following them up the stairs with Conan following right behind him. They would walk through hallway after hallway, before finally entering a room titled, "DEXTER'S LAB". Alucard pushed the door open, revealing a destroyed laboratory with a body trace on the floor along with blood stains all over the floor, as well as books, broken glass, and turned-over tables. At the end of the room was a large computer with a pipe embedded in the black glass, destroying all information inside.
"…Hell…" escaped from the Great White Hunter's lips.
"Yes, tragic," said Alucard calmly, walking around as he scanned the room, "…but definitely not Millennium worthy. But if the notes are gone…that means the New Millennium indubitably was here."
"So, you are still sure Millennium didn't kill Dexter, this 'third-party' did?" asked Conan, looking around as he looked at an open window, walking closer to it and ignoring the noises of Liberty City.
"I'm not even sure it is a third-party," said Alucard as he walked to the window with Conan, "perhaps some idiot criminal who killed Dexter for meth ingredients or whatever rats like that take."
The Boy Detective noticed something on the window, a smudge…a fingerprint. He scratched his chin and leapt up the to the window and lifted himself up, then turning to Alucard and said, "Mind grabbing my legs, I don't want to fall off." The vampire did so and Conan then quickly looked out the window to the other side.
Seras and Quatermain looked from the door, visibly bored as they rested their rifles on their shoulders. "Do you usually wait for him to-"
"Yes, yes I do," groaned Seras, "Still hasn't changed…even if he was gone for five years."
"Heard about that nasty bit of business with him and the Zeppelin Incident," said Leonard as he glanced at the chemicals on the table, "must have damaged his ego, being defeated by some child."
"Not likely," said Seras, giving a cold stare at Leonard, "then again, master has been known to-"
"Police girl!" shouted Alucard, causing Seras to roll her eyes and sigh with boredom. Conan, on the other hand, looked to see a faint drop of blood on the wooden window seal.
"Can you drink…dried blood?" asked Conan curiously.
"I'll try, my boy," chuckled Alucard, yanking Conan out the window as he simply arched his back in a twisted painful way, forcing Conan to watch in horror. Alucard slid through the window to find the drop of blood on the wood.
Alucard smiled devilishly as he opened his mouth, his long tongue wormed out and flickered against the blood drop, wetting it and getting a taste of it from the red evidence.
"…Can you tell us what you found already?" growled out Quatermain, "No offense, but I am bored as hell."
"Blood, could either be from the murderer or from Dexter himself," answered Conan, "any one of these could give us a clue to the Cavorite."
"…The killer…" Alucard simply said, swinging through the window as he shifted through it like water, "…this is the blood of the killer."
"Really!?" let out Conan, "Fantastic! What can you tell us?" Leonard turned his head, looking at the door behind them as he thought he heard something.
"…Not much to work with…" he sighed in irritation, "Too little blood. All I can say was that the killer was named Johnny, he ate at a place called McDowell's in mistake after leaving the murder site, and he has done this sort of murder before."
"A serial killer then?" asked Conan.
"Possibly," said Alucard, "the last thing I could find out was that he was heading to some outhouse called Porkbelly."
"Does he work for Millennium?" asked Seras, then looking back to see Leonard Quatermain inch the door open.
"I don't think so," said Alucard, "the murder was fueled by jealousy and rage. I doubt the New Millennium is jealous of Dexter in any way."
"The murderer might know something, might have seen something, maybe a member of Millennium," advised Conan, "It's the only thing we can-"
Leonard turned around from the door, his face pale and his eyes wide like dinner plates. Alucard was able to get a look of Leonard's reaction, passing by Conan and Seras quickly and kicked the door open.
Leonard quickly jumped away and yelled, "Are those…"
Alucard walked out to the middle of the hallway, with the rest of the League running out to join him, looking in shock to see a mass of groaning, blood-thirsty ghouls shambling after them. They were wearing ripped clothing, civilians turned into these abhorrent creatures against their will.
"Yep…ghouls," growled Alucard, grinning wildly as he grabbed his two guns with a dark bravado in his dark heart. However, a gun shot would past beside Alucard's head as he saw it zip through ten ghouls head in a straight line.
He looked to see Leonard holding his hunting rifle at the ghouls direction, putting it down and smiling at Alucard. "Oh, just something the good Sir Integra gave me," he stated, "Silver bullets, said to do wonders for your kind."
"That they do," said Alucard with a devilish grin, his teeth white as he was able to hunt alongside the Great White Hunter at long last.
The streets gave no notice to the gunshots from the laboratory building, for such a violent showdown was not new in this city with a million names. Inside the building one would see blood on the floor, with the dead bodies of ghouls lying like leaves on the stained layers of linoleum.
Ghouls would be killed left and right as Alucard and Quatermain would be side by side, blasting the undead horrors away shot after shot. Seras stayed behind as she stood beside Conan, who looked around as she would obliterate a few hordes from behind.
"Is this something I should be expecting!?" shouted out Conan, clenching his ears with his hands.
"Oh…as much as possible!" laughed out Seras with a kind smile, obliterating a few more hordes before accidentally destroying the wall, causing her to sweat with embarrassment, "Oh! That's no good!"
"Careful, you fool!" shouted out Leonard Quatermain, "Do you think the LCPD will ignore that!?" Seras scowled darkly at Quatermain, contemplating her next target.
Alucard and Quatermain, however, were too busy to continue acknowledging her as ghoul after ghoul would turn into red meat.
"So, when did Sir Integra give you the bullets?" asked Alucard as he kept fighting.
Leonard scoffed joyfully. "Oh! Not to soon before we left London, actually! I heard she even gave the brute Jason a silver-lined machete."
"Go on!" laughed Alucard, before the sight of a door flying out onto the wall and squishing a cadre of ghouls onto the wall. Lo and behold, the dreaded Jason Voorhees casually stepped from the door, raising his machete and slashing many of the dreadful creatures in half, killing them with Leonard's truth.
"Well…fuck me," said Alucard with a straight face, "she really did give him a silver machete."
Jason calmly walked over to the two, slashing past any ghouls foolish to attack him as Leonard would continue shooting any stragglers. The juggernaut walked to Alucard, looking down at him as Leonard glared and aimed at Jason with distrust.
"…Nemo sent you, hm?" growled Quatermain, glaring at the killer as Jason merely glanced at him.
"Calm yourself, hunter," commanded Alucard with a chuckle, "Jason did us a service…killing the rest of the horde for us."
"He did?" gasped Conan, running up beside Alucard with Seras following his tail.
"Well…heheheh…" Alucard was amused with more of the details, "…he killed a few, the rest are in the other hall."
Seras looked at him in confusion, running past Jason and over the ghoul corpses to look into the other hallway. She looked with an awkward gaze, seeing the ghouls groaning as they were completely ripped apart, with a minority still alive but unable to piece themselves together. One was even impaled against the wall with a pipe.
Leonard walked up to Seras, looking at the hallway with distaste. "Aw hell…" he then looked at Seras with misery and said, "I'll take care of this mess…" He pulled out a simple handgun and began shooting the miserable wretches in the head, killing them as Seras watched with a shake of her head.
"Not one for clean kills, hm?" joked Alucard, Jason didn't answer, giving a deep breath as a response. Alucard smiled and said as gunshots kept ringing through the next hallway, "Guess not."
As Quatermain shot the last ghoul dead, a horrible sound began ringing through all their ears. It was the sound of police sirens, with the sight of red and blue lights from the windows.
"Oh! That is JUST great!" yelled out Conan with rage, stamping his foot on the floor. Jason glared at the window, twisting his grip on the handle of his machete as Alucard simply walked past him. He looked out the window to see cop cars all over the streets as he could see the LCPD's NOOSE officers pointing their automatics at him.
"Hm…" was his simplest critique, but suddenly stumbled back after a bullet hit his forehead. Alucard shook his head as Leonard ran up to him, yelling, "What the hell are they doing here?"
"Obviously they were wondering about the noise," groaned Conan with a distasteful glare, "they generally respond to gunshots and blood splatters on the windows."
Quatermain growled and loaded his rifle with more silver shells. "Damn it all! Fucking pigs! Always…Dammit!"
"Calm down, Quatermain," consoled Seras with her eyes closed, "All we need to do is get to Firefly Island, Nemo obviously sent Jason, therefore she will be waiting for us."
"Jason, can you show us how you got here undetected?" asked Conan. Jason nodded and led them down the hallway with the dead ghouls littered on the floor. Conan was the only one disturbed by this, trying not to acknowledge the horrid smell and the blood against his sneakers.
Jason led them through the halls, with Quatermain glaring at Alucard. "You ever wonder if it was because of the monster that the LCPD is on our arses?"
"I doubt that," answered Alucard, "Jason traveled here once before undetected. Despite his brutish façade, he's quite stealthy."
Suddenly, Jason stopped with a shining light hitting his face, as a lone police officer stood there with a flashlight and a handgun as he shook with fear.
"Oh…okay! Don't muh-move! Or I'll fucking…PLUG YOU!" he stammered out, standing there fearfully. Jason moved for the kill, but Seras reached out and held him back, shouting "No way!" at him as Jason reluctantly complied.
The officer reached out for his radio, keeping his flashlight on them as he held the gun and the radio on his hand. "Uh…just…you four stay there! I don't…want this to get messier!"
The officer was about to give the call, but was distracted by a knife to the throat. His knife, to be exact. He didn't notice a quick movement of his knife flying out his belt as he felt the cold steel press against his throat.
"WAIT! STOP!" shouted out Seras desperately, only to watch as his throat was quickly slit by the Invisible Man. The scared officer began gagging as he gripped his bleeding throat as torrents of it spilled out like a waterfall. He would fall to his knees and slam his face onto the floor, a blood puddle creating two blots in the middle of it.
"Aheheh…takin' yer time?" joked a voice.
Seras glared at him with red eyes and shouted, "He wasn't a threat!"
"Oh, knockitoff!" argued Griffin as he waved the knife around, "If we let'em live, we'd have NOOSE officers diggin' up our assends by the dozens."
"But…the way you…killed him…" let out Seras. Jason, however, gave little care for the situation and walked past Mr. Griffin to the back door.
"Oh, prefer me just lettin' him shoot me couple times before diggin' me teeth in 'im?" hissed Mr. Griffin, "I may be invisible, but I ain't immortal."
"Shame," was all Seras could say about that.
"Griffin is right," said Quatermain, "He may be unsporting…but he's right." Jason kicked the back-door open, only to be met with sprays of bullets hailing at him. This caused him to stumble back, only to walk right back outside in a quiet rage. What followed was bone-chilling screams and the sound of blood gushing from open wounds and eviscerated parts of the human flesh.
"…Damn…that sounds rancid," grunted out Mr. Griffin. His exclamation was ignored as the rest of the League rushed past him, with him following right behind him with bloody footsteps leaving the trail. Blood from the scared officer.
By the time they got outside, Jason stood in a large and growing puddle of blood with body parts sleeping on the red stain on the asphalt of the back alley. In his hand was one last Noose officer, sobbing uncontrollably as Jason's hands were squishing his skull. Jason simply looked down at him before closing his hands on mushy meat and buckets of blood.
The masked man looked over to see the League, with Alucard being the only one looking at him with grimace.
A flash of light appeared over Jason, who looked up at the source with his arm out to keep the light from blinding him.
"SMILE FOR THE CAMERA, HOTSHOT!" A helicopter hovered high in the sky above Jason as he glared at the arrogant pilot with contempt. As bullet after bullet would puncture through his body and fall to the ground, he reached down and grabbed a lone brick. Jason quickly catapulted it from his arms and watched it fly at the chopper. Much to the surprise of the pilot, the brick smashed through the glass and slammed into his face, causing a concussive death.
Alucard walked up to Jason as the beast watched the chopper fly into the ground, with Alucard patting his back and strolling past him as Jason gazed at the large explosion that followed afterwards.
As the members passed by him, they couldn't see how much fun he was having. But, rather than incurring confrontation with Alucard, decided to follow them rather than cause a full-scale murder spree.
The League rushed through the streets of screaming pedestrians as they would run around like scared rats in a thunderstorm as they knew not what went wrong but feared the unknown just as well.
Cop sirens in the air as the League rushed to the pier of Firefly Island, with the dilapidated amusement park in the background as cop cars parked from behind them.
"Dammit! We're fugitives now! Fugitives!" roared Leonard as they ran through the wooden deck, "The Empire better be WORTH MY GOOD NAME!"
"Good name!?" exclaimed Seras in disbelief.
"NOT NOW!" screamed Conan, running faster than any of them.
As they ran, they would hear the constant spouts of "Fuckin' 'ell! Fuckin' 'ell! FUCKIN' 'ELL!" from the invisible and unstandable Mr. Griffin. The police of the corrupt city would be right on their trail, but possibly a mile away as the League were already at the end. The pursuers of the framed League stopped to watch in awe as the mechanical beauty of the Nautilus appeared like a ghost from the fog, with its side facing the dock as a large slab of metal descended onto the wooden construct acting as a bridge.
Nemo stood at the entrance with a large metal contraption in her hand, glaring at the members. "All in one piece, hm?" she would simply asked.
"Yeah…all in one piece," said Conan with a wince of the eye as he entered the ship with Alucard beside him.
"Was it really necessary to send Griffin and Jason over to the building?" accused Seras angrily.
"Yer welcome," hissed Griffin as the bloody footsteps disappeared into the ship.
"I quite agree with her for once," growled Quatermain, yelling as he pointed his finger at Jason as the boy disappeared in the darkness of the halls, "Do you think that this…beast wouldn't obviously bring attention to his appearance!?"
"Well, I thought that he could be of some help, and from what I gathered from the loud bangs and gushing blood, I was right" snidely remarked Nehal with a raised brow and a condescended emotion in her face, "But, perhaps we should continue this lovely debate AFTER we lose the authorities?"
Leonard glared at her, but agreed after hearing the shouting of the LCPD behind them. He shook his head as he rushed inside with Miss Victoria following suite. Nehal Nemo watched with content as they entered her ship as she would hear the barks and snarls of the local police.
In rebuttal, she simply lifted the gun-like device, pulling the trigger and letting the jagged harpoon shoot out without even caring to look, impaling three officers at once as the others watched in horror as the long harpoon jutted into a bench with the bloody corpses of their friends hung from it. Their dead eyes looking up and their mouths filled with the projectile stabbing it in such a perfect way.
Nehal simply returned to her ship, annoyed by her comrades yet amused by her enemies' deaths as the door closed behind her, with her great monster floating away into the ocean after leaving blood, fire, and unanswered questions as debris.
The broken home was still haunted, with the shriveled person that lived in it sat at his table, with a store-bought sandwich and a container of red liquid stood next to it. He licked his chapped lips and reached for it, and as he unwrapped the paper, he reached out to his phone and pressed the button to hear those that actually wanted to speak to this creature.
The electronic noise rang out as he looked at his sandwich with gluttony, only to return his gaze to the phone when it spoke. "Hey, Johnny, it's Bli…it's Eugene. Are you okay? Do you wanna talk? I know we haven't talked in, like, five years, but I am really worried about you. I heard some…things. Look, all I am saying is that…if you need anything at all, call me."
Johnny simply looked down at the phone with a wide-eyed blankness, returning his focus to his lunch before he was interrupted by the second beep.
"Johnny. This is your old teacher, Henry. I just wanted to know if you are alright. I heard that you dropped out of high school when I was talking to an old friend. That disappoints me, I really believed you had the potential for something great. I am just calling to say that maybe it is not too late, you could still-"
Johnny violently pressed the button of his phone, ending the message and erasing it out of pure anger and hate. He growled lightly as he returned to his meal, only to be interrupted again much to his exacerbated anger.
"Hey, it's me, Gil. I haven't heard from ya in, like, years. I was hoping we'd catch up like old times! I worry 'bout you, bro. It makes me sad to think that what happened to you was…sorta cause of me. Though, I'm sure your father-"
In his rage, Johnny reached out and grabbed the phone, yanking it off the table and furiously throwing it on the floor. It subsequently smashed into a million pieces as he stood over the remains, his eyes shaking and dilated as he stood there like a dead statue.
After a few minutes, he actually made a motion…by placing the sandwich in his mouth and taking a huge bite from it.
TheBananaSlug: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get some death-threats from a rabid, yet tiny, fanbase, aren't I, hmmmm?
Bah! Who knows? The real problem is that I featured Liberty City but NO NIKO BELLIC!
I deserve to be hung.