TheBananaSlug: If only I can find a way to implement Preacher into this, if only there was a way to explain Herr Starr's return after he was killed by headshot.
My apologies, I am currently drawn to the hit series created by the very controversial Garth Ennis, I have Volume 6 already, gonna get Volume 7 real soon. Can't wait!
Anyway, I'm sure many are angered about the reveal of the murderer last chapter, but what can I say? The show is 'okay', I really don't care but I thought from his horrid childhood from his crappy dad and experimental sisters that this would be the logical conclusion.
…but Niko Bellic not being in the last chapter? Yeah, stone my ass. I deserve it.
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 5: In the Life of a Boy
Hellsing Organization
Late July, 2009
"Is that all? …Yes, he might be able to lead us to the right direction. Of course. Goodbye, Alucard."
Integra hung up and placed the phone down, sitting at her desk as she saw James Bond sitting on a lounge chair with a chipped mug of milk in hand, greedily slurping it up to his leisure. She raised a brow as she clasped her hands in front of her face, getting exhausted with this double agent's constant visits to her organization.
"Bond," she called out.
"Mm?" he replied, looking over at her.
"The League have not found any sign of Millennium or the Cavorite Notes, however, they did find out something about the murder." she said to him, "It appears that Dexter was murdered by someone other than the New Millennium, someone named Johnny. His whereabouts point to a town in Idaho near the border of Canada called Porkbelly."
James Bond looked at her with curious surprise, stating with a scoff, "Porkbelly? I think I know who this fellow could be. Johnny Test would be his name."
"Oh? How do you know this person?" questioned Sir Integra.
"A past assignment, Sir," explained James Bond with a nostalgic smile, "I was sent to investigate after finding out such disasters including the meteor scare and polar shift disaster originated and revolved around Porkbelly. Apparently the government was allowing these gifted yet vastly unhinged teenage scientists get away with this threat to global security in exchange for biological weaponry and technological doomsday devices for then-president John Blutarsky."
"And Britain didn't want any part of that?" she interrogated, raising her brow a bit.
"Apparently not, because I when I got there, all I had were annoying misleads and half-assed assassinations," continued Bond, slightly irate as he scowled, "but as I dug deeper into the case, I would later find out more darker aspects of the Test household. Apparently, most of the 'experiments' were just lust-driven attempts to snog with some idiot surfer boy, experiments done on an elementary-age Johnny Test."
"Didn't the parents do anything about it?" asked an intrigued yet distrustful Integra, "If they had any 'real' parents at all?"
"The mother didn't seem to know, but the father didn't really seem to care," explained Bond morosely, "More interested in house-work and his daughter's accomplishments, from what I have heard, he was down-right mentally and verbally abusive to the lot of them."
"Tragic," simply stated Integra as she opened her cigar case and pulled one of her large cigars out, "Continue."
"I was able to terminate the girls and send the father to prison, from what I heard he was incredibly popular in prison before his untimely demise," Bond chuckled a bit from that last bit of information, then continuing his exposition, "the boy was left in the care of his mother…from what I heard the mother died from a brain aneurism and the boy currently has cancer from the experimentations."
"That is all?" asked Integra as she sliced the end of the cigar off.
"That is all," finished James Bond, taking another sip of his milk as Integra lit her cigar.
She took a long breath, puffing out the smoke from her lips before she started. "I want you to call some allies in the United States, get them a plane to Porkbelly as soon as possible. Johnny Test might try to run away, and the Nautilus I doubt will make it in time."
"I agree, Sir," replied James graciously, "no need to worry. I already cleared up the mess your vampire made with the government and the LCPD just assume good old Nemo got in a crossfire with some other 'terrorists' in order to obtain some government secrets."
"Which reminds me," said Integra darkly with one finger raised up, "I was under the opinion you told the LCPD not to interfere? Were you just telling me what I wanted to hear or-"
James groaned and placed the milk on the end table, "Don't think me incompetent, I did in fact tell the commissioner via telephone, but for some reason they did not listen to my good word." Bond sighed and kicked his feet on the table and said with a pout, "It's not like people to distrust me."
"Hm, bizarre," sighed Integra coldly.
United States Airspace
Late July, 2009
"Mhm. No that's fine. Yes, master. Thank you."
Alucard ended the call on his cell phone as he sat in the private plane Bond commissioned for them, looking to see the rest of the League in the plane silent as church mice. Quatermain slouched on his chair as he nodded off in and out of sleep, with Seras sitting there with a hand clasped on her arm. Conan sat next to Alucard, drinking from a water bottle so calmly.
"Are they sure that they got the right person?" asked Seras curiously, "I mean…Johnny is a very convenient name."
"Yes, but he is the most logical suspect," added Conan, "and I doubt this is the first time he has killed someone."
Conan pushed up his glasses and said, "For instance, the unsolved murder of a person by the name of Wade Load, who was found strangled at his computer and was known as a gifted genius that has helped the world more than once."
"As well as the assault on the respected James Neutron, I believe," added Alucard.
"Attacked at his home by an unknown assailant, driven off by his custom security system," finished Conan, "The list goes on. All of them having a life similar to him only to succeed where he simply faded away into nothing."
"That's always how psychotics like him try to justify their actions," sighed Alucard, "always abusive parents or an envious motive. It simply makes me mad."
"Mad?" asked Seras.
"Yes, mad," growled out Quatermain, his eyes half-closed as he looked over at Seras, "and we are forced to find this bloody wanker in order to get information on an organization that is already two steps ahead of us. So yes, I think we all deserve to be a bit irate because of this little shit's actions."
"Stole the words from my mouth, Quatermain," sighed Alucard with a heavy brow, "and to think that this may be completely useless."
"If it turns out just that…I'm going on vacation," growled out Quatermain angrily, "Damn Bond, damn the empire, and damn this can of worms. That's what I'll say."
"Calm down, Quatermain!" snapped Seras, "All the time, you keep on whining and complaining like an old man."
"Excuse me if I haven't had a hit of meth for weeks," growled Leonard with his eyes closed, trying to sleep again, "it tends to make one irritable when you try to wean yourself off the damn drug."
"Shouldn't of taken it in the first place," scoffed Conan with a smirk.
"Fuck you…" was all Leonard said before returning to sleep.
Porkbelly, Idaho
Late July, 2009
"What? …No…I can be there tonight…just be patient. No, but I got something better than cash. Yeah. No, not that…yeah that. Okay, see you then…"
The phone, a new one after the last was broken, was placed back as Johnny slouched back on his dirty couch looking at the broken television despite the only thing seen was static after static. His smile was incredibly weak, with his yellow broken teeth poked out of his mouth
"This is a really good show, Dukie," grumbled Johnny, "really good…" He looked over at the dog corpse, looking at his blood-shot eyes and a sore-covered frown. Johnny wore a dirty sleeveless blue jacket with a black shirt underneath with an atomic symbol on his chest. He wore cargo green jeans with tattered black shoes, the pants covered in vomit, piss stains, and rips.
Johnny was a skeletal figure, pale and withered as he looked only like a ghost of the late Johnny Test. He sneered and ran his hands through his shaved head, mumbling to himself negatively.
"Like you'd say anything…" he spat out, "whatever I wanted to do or liked you'd criticize the fuck out of me."
He rolled his eyes and glared at the dog corpse and snapped loudly, "Yeah? Well fuck you! You're dead! You stupid crotch-licking-" He froze when he heard a slight thud ring through the house, looking at the front door with a cold sweat and a nervous twitch.
Johnny quickly got up, looking around as he limped around his house and darted his eyes around like a shambling rat. He stumbled into the main hall, inspecting in paranoia as he saw a candlestick on the carpet. Johnny grimaced and grabbed it, holding it up and hissing out, "Damn…candlestick…always falling over." He threw it down the hallway and walked back into the living room.
Little did he know was that he had a visitor inside, it was the great detective Jimmy Kudo, who was hiding behind a wall as he was as still as a statue. He looked past the doorway to see Johnny sit back down and watch his static television as he eyed the dead dog in the corner. As he sat down, he muttered out, "…Shut up, Montague…"
He breathed nervously and crept out and sneaked up the stairs, making sure not to break anything this time. Conan first entered a room that was covered in syringes, soda bottles, and broken old toys. Conan looked around and inspected the area, looking under the bed and looking for any clue, but all he could find was a gun and a used condom. As he attempted to step out, Conan stepped on something crinkly and sticky. The detective looked down and found something quite interesting.
It was a burger wrapper, for the restaurant "McDowell's", the same restaurant Alucard said the killer was eating at. "…Well, proves he ate at McDowell's, but not his connection with Millennium," he pointed out quietly, he stuffed the wrapper in his pocket in grimace and kept investigating as he walked back in the hallway.
"Are you alright?" asked Seras mentally, "have you gotten anything useful?"
"Actually, I have," he said out loud, then slapping his hands against his mouth in nervous fright, then continuing mentally, "Sorry…hard to adjust with this all. I found a wrapper for that restaurant Alucard said he ate at. Proves he was there and that he killed Dexter."
"What about any possible connections with Millennium?" questioned Seras, "Quatermain is waiting for a chance to bust in and kill the bastard."
"Not yet," said Conan to Seras' mind, "but since this is definitely the man we are looking for, I'm sure it is only a matter of time. After I am done with upstairs…I am going to try my luck downstairs. Wish me luck."
"Be careful," she urged.
Conan walked down the hall, reaching another set of stairs going up higher in the house. Bravely, he walked up to the end, where he was greeted by steel walls and a large sliding door. He sighed in annoyance and looked at the panel next to it.
"I found a door, I think it is the entrance to the Lab Johnny's sisters had," he said to Seras, "but it needs a password. Can't get in without it."
"Can you hack it?" asked Seras curiously.
"No, I don't have anything for that," admitted Conan shamefully, "should really have Agasa work on that. But I doubt it-"
He stopped when he heard the footsteps of Johnny get closer and closer, already in the hallway below as Conan looked at the growing shadow with fear.
"Oh no…" he whispered out, knowing he was trapped, knowing that there was no way out from the eventual psychopath that would soon find him.
"Conan? Are you okay?" called out Seras in his head, "Conan!"
"I…I'm doomed!" grunted out Conan, seeing Johnny Test walk up the stairs as he kept his back against the wall.
Johnny would soon show up, stopping once he saw Conan at the end of the stairs. Johnny stared at him with his dead tweaked-out eyes, with Conan looking back with wide eyes of fear.
Johnny Test only stood there, with his eyes glaring deeper and deeper as he grimaced more and more. Conan, knowing this man could attack at any moment, he pointed his watch at him in a quick movement and swiftly pushed a button on the side of it that released the tranquilizer dart from within.
It sped out and hit Johnny in the forehead, right between his eyebrows. However, instead of knocking him out it just caused him to look at it with a cross-eyed expression and reach out and pluck it out.
Conan watched in shock, amazement, and despair as the killer simply looked at it and flicked it to the floor. He seemed calm and placated, but it swiftly changed to pure anger as he swiftly rushed at Conan like a wild dog, with saliva splattering from the side of his mouth.
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" he screamed, with Conan watching in horror as he grabbed his hair and threw him down the stairs.
"Seras! Help!" he yelled out at the top of his lungs. With a loud yelp, he hit the floor of the hallway as he tried to get up before Johnny could get to him. However, the crazed and drugged up Johnny Test jumped down and landed over Conan, grabbing his hair again and pushing his head in the carpet.
"HA! HAAAA!" he screamed out in his dazed madness, "You think you can steal my shit, Zizrar!? I killed and fucked you up once, I can do it again! You don't steal my shit! YOU DON'T STEAL MY SHIT!"
"Let. Him. Go."
He looked up and saw Seras Victoria, standing in the middle of the highway with a dark spiteful glare with Quatermain at he side, pointing his rifle at Johnny Test.
"Come on, boy," growled Quatermain, "I was ordered to try and keep you alive, so let the boy down or I will blow your head off."
Johnny Test laughed in a hissing madness, wide-eyed and slightly doozy from the drugs. "You can't shoot me if you try, old man! You think I could kill Dexter like a normal person? You think a man like me could kill him with technological crap runnin' around for himself to defend himself?" He chuckled again and said as he lifted Conan up to show his bloodied up face, "My sisters, damn them, pumped me with the good stuff. Makin' me able to survive a whole lotta shit like a cockroach! He tried to shoot me with drugs, and I am still alive!"
He then pulled out a knife and placed it against Conan's throat, grinning madly as Conan winced in pain. Quatermain cocked his gun and snarled angrily, "Listen, you little shit! Drop him before I drop you!" Seras glared angrily at Test, scowling deeply as her fists clenched and shook with rage.
"Try it, old man!" giggled Johnny Test like a maniac, "I can see it comin'. I can slit his throat before you can drop me, fucker!"
"Goddamit, drop him!" ordered Quatermain again, "If you let him go, we'll see about getting you help."
"Help!? I don't need help!" screamed Johnny Test, getting up with Conan dangling around his arms with the knife still against his throat, "You sound like my fucking father! Always telling me what to do! Always shoving shit in my mouth! Always expecting so much and expecting so little from my cunt sisters! He was a fucking piece of shit! And I am this way because of him! Because of people like you!"
"What you are is a spoiled little fuck!" snarled Quatermain, "This doesn't give you the right to murder people because their lives were better than yours!"
"SHUT UP!" he screamed back, "I deserved that life! After all I been through, after the hope brought up when he was taken away…I deserved my happy ending! But now I'm dying! I'm dying and there is nothing anyone can do!"
He then began to sob, "My dog tried to help me…he tried to take the syringe away from me…" Johnny switched moods and screamed angrily, "So I killed him! I killed him like I killed Dexter! Like I killed that fat tub of shit! Like I-"
Seras then gritted her teeth and screamed at the top of her lungs, "FUCK THIS!" With a swift motion of her bandaged arm, a large black tentacle jutted out of it and, faster than Johnny's eye, whipped out and slashed at him.
Johnny watched as his arm, holding the knife, was cleanly cut off and fell to the floor with a fountain of blood gushing from the stump. The serial killer shivered with fright, with piss seeping into his pants as he looked at it with a wide-open mouth and eyes darting lightly as they looked at the blood puddle forming. He didn't even notice Seras's shadowy fist swiftly ramming at his face in full speed.
He flew into the air as she slugged him across the face with the shadowy arm that formed into a large spiked fist, breaking his jaw and punching out a few teeth. He fell to the floor as he groaned in pain, Conan on the floor next to Seras as he slowly got up.
"Thanks…I didn't…expect him to take that…tranquilizer," groaned Conan as Seras walked over to the arm on the floor.
"Knowing all the drugs he's doped up on, I'm not surprised," scoffed Quatermain as Seras bent down and picked the arm up.
Johnny whimpered as he ripped a piece of his jacket off and quickly stopped the bleeding by wrapping it around his wound to stop the circulation, it was there he witnessed something that caused him to sit there as the tranquilizers kicked in and made his mind numb.
Seras lifted the arm up and kept her mouth open as she let the blood drop down into her maw, tricking down as some hit her cheek and forehead, dropping onto her shirt as she was watched by all alive.
Conan watched with horror and shock, while Quatermain watched anxiously, grunting and gulping a bit as he made his gun safe again. He turned away when Seras finished her meal and let it drop on the floor.
"He doesn't know a thing about Millennium," revealed a dishearten Seras, then opening her red eyes and staring straight at Quatermain, saying, "However, he did see someone there. A man in a black coat, pale skin, and flowing blonde hair. They met glances when he killed Dexter, they both gave each other a good scare when-"
"The Black Organization," pointed out Conan, looking at her nervously, "the assassin sounds like someone I know. Gin, his name is Gin." He sighed in despair and said, "This isn't good…if the Black Organization is with the New Millennium, that means that the New Millennium have an easy access to the entire criminal underground."
"Well…at least we know who those boys that attacked us in Mexico were, hm?" added Quatermain, causing a nod in agreement from the Boy Detective.
Seras shook her head and said, "Let's go…we'll call the P.P.D and give him some evidence about the killer of Dexter in New York. Conan has one piece, I'm sure that…" She stopped and turned around, with Johnny looking at her with a dead-like daze and an erection poking from under his pants, causing her to grimace in disgust. "…I'm sure that they will find the rest…let's get out of here, we'll meet Alucard at the hotel."
With that, all three of them left Johnny Test on the floor, high and confused as he looked at the void and wanted to look away, but was afraid of it so much that he was forced to continue gazing back at it.
Alucard, waiting out the door of his hotel room with a glass of blood, hearing it open with Seras walking out and joining him.
"Well?" she asked.
"Test has been apprehended and sent to the local insane asylum, we are heading to Seattle tomorrow to meet up with Nemo," he said, "then we are off to some ghost town by the name of Dimmsdale." He then growled and finished off his drink, "God, if I stay one more day in this country I think I am going to rip my own head off."
"It's not a bad country, just a bit…big for my tastes," replied Seras with a light smile to her master, with Alucard replying with a dark breath as he looks at the night sky.
Seras sighed and looked away, then admitting sadly, "I felt him a bit…I felt Pip, when I sliced that freak's arm off. I just don't know why I can't feel him like I used to."
"I am not quite sure, police girl," sighed Alucard, looking at the night sky as he took his sunglasses off to reveal his blazing red eyes, "but I say, hold on to him as long as possible. He's going to go away, fade into you, but the fact you still fight to keep him inside…" He then laughed and said, "Well, it puts a smile on my face."
"Master, are you being nice to me again?" chuckled Seras with a smile.
Alucard let out a breathed-out laugh and patted her head. "Don't get used to it, police girl…" he added, walking back at the door.
She looked at the ground a bit, then turning around and asking, "Master…have you ever had the same problem? Someone you drank try to stay but…slowly fade away?"
Alucard stopped, sighing and shaking his head. "Seras…I think I am done with the subject, drop it." He walked back in and slammed the door, leaving Seras to stare at it in confusion as she frowned and looked at the ground.
"I know, Pip…" she whined to herself, "stiff upper lip."
The Banana Slug: Next chapter will be some character development with Alucard, Seras, and Jason, maybe a bit of Conan, Leonard, and Nehal. But Griffin!? After taking over the third chapter…he deserves none!