I DO NOT OWN SON
Music Playlist:
The Truth – Good Charlotte
Chapter 6
Spencer POV
So here we are
We are alone
There's weight on your mind
I wanna know
The truth, if this is how you feel
Say it to me
If this was ever real
I layed in my bed replaying what had happen at the hospital today, I was hoping if I fell asleep and woke up. It would be just all a bad dream, and everything was going to be okay. Of course when I woke up, my heart still hurt and everything was the same.
Flashback
I looked at her with tears in my eyes, how did we get here. Maybe love isn't strong enough to hold two people together.
"Don't do this Ashley, Don't run away from us."
"I'm not"
"Yes you are! You get scared of commitment and run. Please Ash for once don't let fear run your life!"
I was not afraid to let the tears fall down from my eyes, as she didn't even have a tear to shed. It was like I was talking to a brick wall, I blame the drugs.
"Spencer, please just…"
"What Ashley! Leave!" as I wiped my nose with my sleeve, It was killing me to see her so cold and blocked in by her walls.
"I Won't Leave you!, don't you get it. I will never be able to; I love you so much it hurts. I need you Ashley, just like you need me!"
I watch as she turned her head away from me, and played with the wires on her arm. This wasn't the girl I was in love with; this was someone with no soul.
"Spencer, you have to let me go. You disserve better then me, then all of this"
I walked closer reached for her hand and intertwine are fingers, I inhaled and exhaled then asked.
"Tell me you don't love me Ashley, and I will leave"
"I don't love you"
"No! Look at me! Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me you don't love me!"
She turned her head and looked me right in the eyes, never once blinking. All I saw was emptiness and pain.
"I don't love you Spencer, happy?" she kept looking at me, waiting for my reaction. I didn't give her one.
"Now will you leave me alone?"
I let go of her hand and walked towards the door, I shouldn't have but I turned to look at her one last time.
She was looking right at me, but there was still no love in her eyes.
Flashback Ended
When I got home I just went straight to my room and Cried, I didn't bother telling my mother that I wasn't going back to school. It felt like my heart had been smashed, and my life was falling apart. I lost the most important person in my life, and I didn't even see it coming.
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me
I want the truth
I hear my phone go off; I slowly roll over and grab it.
Aiden Calling…
"Hello"
"Spence did you go see her?"
"Ya"
"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but she didn't want anyone…."
"I know Aiden"
"Where are you, are you okay"
"Aiden I'm fine I'm going to go, bye"
"Bye"
I hang up the phone and drop it on my dresser, as I roll over I grab the blankets and curl up in them. As sleep takes over again, I let the tears fall.
So this is you
You're talking to me
You found a million ways to let me down
So I'm not hurt when you're not around
I was blind
But now I see
This is how you feel
Just say it to me
If this was ever real
Ashley POV
I know what I did was harsh but there was nothing I could do, she doesn't know this but Spencer disserves better then me. I'm so messed up and lost; I can't love her like she wants me to. As much as I want to hold her, love her, and let her be mine, I can't.
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me
Sometimes the truth hurts, but it sets you on the right path.
Flashback
I have been in here for just over 3 hours and I'm going crazy, the sickness has not stopped, and all I want is to get out of this stupid hospital. The smell is gross, and the food is even worst.
"Your awake" I look to see Paula, this isn't going to be fun.
"Ya"
Paula walks over and checks my chart, and looks up and gives me a weak smile. She reminds me of another carlin girl I love.
"Overdose, again I see"
"Paula I …"
She raises her hand to stop me.
"Don't Ashley, when you are going to stop this" I can hear how serious she is being in her voice.
"I don't know"
"Do you love my daughter?"
"You know I do"
She sets the chart down and walks over to the side of my bed; she sits down and grabs my one hand.
"If you love her then stop hurting her, don't drag her down with you. I know you both love each other but please do you both a favour and just end this stupid relationship you have together." I wiped some tears that had slipped from my eyes.
"Paula I can't, I promise I will get better" I didn't want to let Spencer go, I love her too much.
"How long will that take? What if you drag Spencer a long and you two ends up not even together and this time she spent with you she could have found someone to love her the way she needs it?" It felt like I just was slapped in my face.
"I can be that person, I will be that person." I looked her right in the eye when I said that.
"Who are you trying to convince. My self or your self?" as she got up from my bed and walked towards the door.
"I will be the one she says 'I do' to one day" she turns and looks at me, and smiles
"I really hope so Ashley"
I wiped the tears away; there was no time to cry. Not when I have a girl to love.
Flashback Ended
I picked up the phone on the dresser and made a phone call…
"Hello"
"Its Ashley, I'm ready Mr. C"
I let out a sigh and prepared my self. This wasn't going to be easy, but for her I would do anything.
I know that this will break me
I know that this might make me cry
You gotta say what's on your mind, on your mind
I know that this will hurt me
and break my heart and soul inside
I don't wanna live this lie
A/N: R&R please