The Banana Slug: I think many people can notice some similarities with my Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (HLXG) and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the movie version).
It's not that I like the movie better than the comic source, but I will say that it is a guilty pleasure of mine. I like most of the moments in the movie, it is quite enjoyable when you drop your head off at the recycle bin and, to my shock, does have a lot of Easter Eggs I recognized off the bat, but I hate its plot holes, its inconsistency, and that one line that Sir Sean Connery delivered that involved Nemo's automobile, Venice, and the "vampire lady". Bleck!
For a while I thought the whole making James Bond a rapist and a coward was a bit too much of a punishment for Connery, just for playing the character. However, after the "vampire lady" line…yeah, Bond's a fucking man-whore.
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 16: My Blind Third Eye
Hellsing Organization, London
The night over the city of London was beautiful, especially in Hellsing Manor, where the stars could be seen without distraction and twinkle with such beauty and elegance, hiding the many strange and abhorrent things that may be lurking in the void.
In the halls of Hellsing walked the owner of the mansion, Sir Integra, who strolls with her hands nestled in her pockets and a lit cigar in her lips. She walks by the open door of her dining hall, and in there she sees Jason Voorhees.
Jason sat at the end of the table, staring at the window to his right with a lostness in this foreign land he was taken to and from his own little sanctuary.
"Jason…there you are…" breaths out Integra, "I was wondering where you ran off to."
Jason would slowly turn his head, staring at her with his pseudo-innocent eyes as Integra approaches him with a small smile.
"I…feel we got off at the wrong foot, Mr. Voorhees," she spoke to him, "I can see that you are a little…homesick, but I can make your stay as comfortable as plausible."
With that, Integra would walk into the kitchen out of Jason's sight, staring at the door and waiting calmly if not broodingly for his kidnapper. He'd see her return none too later with a plate in hand, with a bowl atop of it holding a red liquid swimming lightly and hot white air floating up from the soup.
She lays the tomato soup in front of Jason, who looks down as she also places the spoon right next to the white bowl. Jason sits there as Integra stands reassuringly next to him, nodding before walking back into the hall with no hostility to this large monster in her home.
A loud crash stops her, hearing something drop from the table and smash into tens of pieces in impact with the carpeted floor. She spins around, befuddled by the noise and seeing what Jason did in response to her generosity.
Jason would sit there, staring at her with subtle hate as the bowl was shattered to pieces on the floor and her expensive red and black carpet stained by the crimson tomato soup.
"…So, this is how you are going to act?" she says calmly, yet evident of her anger as she puts her cigar out on the ashtray on the table, "If you want to be enemies with me, then fine…I'm your enemy."
She turns and walks up to Jason with her finished cigar hissing on the ashtray. Jason turns his head and stares at the wall in front of him defiantly, and Integra presses her hands on the table, staring down at him with her eye staring right at him with equal contempt.
"You have disrespected me and my home ever since you have arrived," she hisses darkly, "I didn't want you here in the first place, boy, it was Bond who dragged you here."
Jason sits there and breaths lowly as Integra would lean over him and continue to assert her authority to him. "I wanted to leave you to rot in your little world, in the sanctuary you made. I never wanted you here, and neither does the rest of the League. For they see you what you are, an angry little child."
She leans closer as Jason keeps his gaze away from her, his hands resting on the table during his berating. "And if you continue to be a stupid brat, then I will treat you like a brat, and if you continue to disrespect me, I will make sure you never see that little camp of yours ever-"
Jason rises from his seat almost in bullet-speed, with Integra quickly backing off as she'd see this juggernaut walk to her with his gaze now fixated on her. Jason stomps closer to her, with Integra stepping back with her arms shielding her and her glare of unease accompanied by a grind of her teeth.
"Stand down. That's an order!" she sternly commands Integra, but Jason kept stomping to her, forcing her closer and closer to the wall.
"Jason! You stand down this instant!" she yells in anger as the beast gets closer and closer, "That's an order! I said that's an order!"
Just as her back hit's the wall, he stops right in front of her in a quick halt. Slowly, Jason turns around, with Integra looking from behind, to see Alucard stand there at the soup-stained floor, his long-rimmed hat blocking his eyes as the red-coated vampire stands there like a statue beside the end of the dining table.
"Leave…now…" he commands darkly.
Jason Voorhees was not afraid, but he knew not to incur someone like him, who previously dispatched him so easily in his own turf. So Jason turns and walks away from Sir Integra, who breaths in relief and fury as she watches the beast leave the room and avoid Alucard as much as possible.
"I'm surprised you didn't end his life, Alucard," breaths Integra, walking to him as the Count looks at the doorway.
"I am not sure his life can be taken away so…easily," replies Alucard, "he is not fueled by souls like the Police Girl and I…and yet…he is able to survive even the harshest of conditions, the deadliest of blows. He's indestructible in virtually everyway. Quite intriguing, no?"
"The animal tries to kill me and you begin praising him?" scoffs Integra, wiping her brow with her handkerchief.
"I am not excusing him for his actions, master," he replies calmly, "besides, I was not the one who provoked him."
Integra sneers and stands in front of him with a shake of her head, "That is false, that animal has been breaking things left and right, and I think he has made it no secret that he wishes to kill me in his usual brutish way."
"He shows you contempt because you are the leader, master," explains Alucard with a tip of his hat, "he thinks you are the reason he is here, away from home, far from his own comfort and safety."
Integra glares at him with an amused smile, saying to her vampire count, "So…all this is just a little fit, hm? He just wants to go home?"
"Make light of it as much as you want, my master, but it is the truth," responds Alucard with his red eyes staring down at her calmly, "that boy will hate you…as long as he is forced to stay in England, away from home."
"Thank you for the insight, Alucard, but he is going to have to understand that as long as England is in dire threat, he will have to listen to me," she responds with a cool frown, "all I need you to do is keep him and line and, from now on, keep that damn monster away from me."
As she turns to walk away, her vampire servant bows and gives a calm and hissing goodbye, "I shall do as you command…my master."
Integra walks down the halls, looking in every direction with her single eye scanning every corner for the monster Jason, paranoid and defensive after her brush with danger just a few minutes ago.
Finally, she would enter her office, running her fingers against the wall and approaches her desk. The woman sighs and plops herself on her black chair, holding her hands together and stares at the blank wall with a state of morose.
She turns her head and sees a picture of a distant friend, an old caretaker, standing there with dutiful loyalties in the frame as Integra looks with nostalgia and unanswered questions.
Sir Integra reaches out and grabs the frame, picking up that picture of the late Walter C. Dormez, who stands there smiling that old charming smile. His blue eyes shine and stare out from under his glasses.
She sighs and stares at the picture, still wondering what drove her old friend to betray her and England, unable to accept that it was all just to combat her own faithful servant Alucard. Integra could not comprehend such a selfish thing from him, and refused the reason all together.
Integra would drop the frame on the desk, darting her head at the direction of the sound of one of her urns wobbling for no reason at all on one of her dressers. Sir Integra sits up straight and asks out, "Griffin…is that you?"
She was given no response, which causes her to glare and scowl darkly at the silence. "…I can call Alucard, just with a simple shout, so make yourself present, or I will have him beat you black and blue," she threatens with a snarl.
"Aheheh, rough night?"
Integra rolls her eye and says, "One could say that, I'm glad you came, Griffin, there is some things I wanted to discuss with you."
She watches as a cigar was swiped from her desk, causing great annoyance as another thing was stolen from her. On a nightstand a match is swiped, only to scrape against it and lighting aflame. Integra stares at the floating cigar and match together with distaste and offense, before seeing the match go out by a quick puff of air and seeing that cigar light up with a puff of smoke releasing into the air.
"I'm listenin'," replies the Invisible Man, "what yeh be needin' me for?"
"First question deals with your past history, during your short tenure in Japan," explains Integra with herself slowly lighting a cigar of her own, "have you heard of the Aiken Club Mystery?"
"Aheheh," giggled Griffin with nostalgic delight, "I might…"
"I'm sure you would," hisses Integra darkly, "a case similar to your ancestor's tenure in Rosa Coote's. Reports of an apparition of some kind sexually assaulting many of the female members, and three instances of the apparition attacking and brutalizing them, and of it killing the sole male member."
"Apparition me see-through ass, Sir," hisses Griffin, taking another puff, "I have already been linked to tha crimes, no need to sugar coat it. What be yer point?"
"My point is that you are an unpredictable and ruthless rapist, Mr. Griffin," responds Sir Integra spitefully, "because of the origin of your invisibility, you live by no regrets and no loyalty. You are an insane psychopath with no moral compass, never thinking of the consequences of your actions whether it be killing a security guard or violating a random woman."
The Invisible Man takes another puff, then asks as smoke shoots out from his mouth, "Again…yer point?"
"What's stopping you now, Griffin?" she gets to the point in irritation, "what's stopping you from being a slave to your urges like some…wild animal?"
"Aheheh, I see," hisses Griffin, putting his cigar out on the ashtray situated on the stand, "yer askin' why I don't just grab yeh when ya ain't lookin' an' fuck ya right, eh?"
Integra simply glares at the direction of the smoldering cigar on the ashtray as smoke shoots up in the air, unafraid of the Invisible Man and his vague threat.
"Well, lemme answer that question with another, lass," he hisses from the other side of the room, forcing Integra to dart her head at that direction, intently listening at the despicable creature in her room.
"Why doesn't Jimmy Kudo, a bloody wanker that values life so annoyingly, just up and quit and fuck off back to Japan with his giant monsters?" hisses Mr. Griffin, "Why doesn't Quatermain return to suckin' cocks for meth money? Why doesn't Captain Nemo bust yer jaw and hold you fer ransom for a billion gajillion dollars? …Why didn't Jason just end yer life back at the dining room?"
"You're insinuating Alucard is the reason for all this?" questions Integra with a hate growing in her eye.
"Afraid so, Sir," replies Griffin coolly, "we all fear the bloody maniac, he's more of a monster than I am in some cases. Eggin' that nutjob on is the last thing anyone wants to do." With a bit of cruelty, Griffin then states, "To be frank, we are here because of him, not you."
"Hm, how kind," growls Integra in retort, scowling with contempt at this despicable animal that hides from her without purpose.
"Is that all yeh wanna talk 'bout, miss?" he hisses again.
"No…this one is about…The Detective, Griffin," she responds to the Invisible Man with a calm glare, "did you…relay the message? Did you…make clear of our intentions?"
"Aheheh, I knew you'd be interested in that one, Sir," he hisses to her calmly, then responds to her question, "Yes, I did. He is quite interested in a merger with Hellsing and the New Millennium?"
"Good, I was hoping we could discuss this before blood has been spilt," sighs Integra, twiddling a cigar in hand, "before another Incident. The Detective seems much more negotiable than the Major, and this New Millennium…much more tolerable than the Old. At least it has a political ideal I can actually agree with."
"How so?" asks Griffin.
"Millions of people lost their lives when the Zeppelin struck, Mr. Griffin," explains Sir Integra calmly, "and more people die by the hands of vampires and criminals, letting pigs like James Bond breath down my neck and tell me nothing at all. With the Detective the new Big Brother, we can control both crime and the vampire population, we can prevent another Incident. Assimilation is the only way, and if we need to get rid of some freedoms…if not all…then so be it."
"Fantastic speech, but do you think that Alucard will join in with you?" questions Mr. Griffin.
"Of course he will, he trusts me and my wisdom," she replies to the Invisible Man, then saying with a calm unregretful, "Nemo has already expressed admiration and approval of it all, and Jason will have no choice, but Conan, Quatermain, and Alucard's Police Girl may be harder to sway. If it comes to it, I want you to kill both Conan and Quatermain, Alucard can dispose of Seras if she refuses."
She quivers her lips from across the hall, standing there like a traumatized child and hearing those words come from a person she holds so dear to her heart say. Her blue eyes turn wet, dripping tears as she keeps her anguished cries inside herself, not to have them be heard by her apparently new enemies.
Seras steps back, before darting down the hall, muttering to herself as her heart feels three tons heavy, breaking from the weight of it all.
Near the stroke of midnight, Seras curls up beside her coffin, contemplating her situation as her cheeks were red and wet. On the floor, she holds her arms together with her blazing red eyes trying to find the falsehoods she believes must prevail in this dreadful situation, but alas, it turns out to be very real.
"…No…it…there has to be a logical…" she mutters to herself in despair, "there has to be some explanation for this all. It can't be real, but…it's as if it is, but why? How can she believe that? She can't believe that, she'd never…"
Then, a dreadful thought came up in her mind, telling her a conclusion to this tale of treachery that seemed so harsh and illogical in the hole. She never thought that she'd stoop so low, she'd never thought she'd have such thoughts of her superior, but there it was, the single conclusion that would pierce her brain with a great bellow: Kill Sir Integra!
She sits up, clutching her head and crying in disbelief of her own mentality. "No…I won't kill her, there has to be a reason for this…treachery! Clone, mind control, blackmail, anything!" Seras shakes her head and thrusts her fists down, wanting to scream so much but was afraid of being discovered by Integra.
Seras looks up at the ceiling, looking quite defeated and miserable at the only thing to keep safety in Britain was the unthinkable. In her own mind, she was convinced that this was the only way, even if it was the most horrible thing to do.
She helps herself up, standing in her little room, dejected and alone from the truth of this horrible situation. Seras couldn't believe it, but not even her third eye could see another way, this was fact.
The Draculina opens the door to her home, then taking a dark trek up the stairs as silently as she could, not to alert anyone of the deed she will be forced to commit against her moral code.
Seras climbs up the stairs to the halls, looking around as she slowly approaches the door to her Sir Integra's room, pressing her gloved hand on it so gently before taking her other hand and twisting the knob purposely sluggishly.
The vampiress pushes the door open, revealing to her the room she discovered that frame that held Integra's new love of fascism. Seras turns her head to Integra's location, seeing her in her blue nightwear and nestled up in her covers.
Sir Integra was deep in her sleep, her eye shut as she rests her head on her pillow with her golden hair parting across the silk gracefully. Her lips were slightly open with a calm breath seeping from them with every soft heave of her chest, her neck bare and calling to Seras like an invitation to dine on her.
However, Seras was still human at heart, and refused those urges and walked silently to her with a deep sadness in her eyes as she walked to the right side of her bed. Seras grabs one of the pillows, looking it in her hands as her blue eyes looked down with regret and a wet drop of salty water ran down her cheek.
"…I didn't want to…believe it, sir," she said quietly, wanting to say this but making sure she didn't hear, "I didn't want to believe you'd betray us…that you'd end up…like Walter. Even when I saw the picture, even when I heard you talking to Griffin. I don't understand why…why you'd ever consider that, even when I constantly doubt it…still…"
She gulps her sadness and says, "But I can no longer delay it, and I feel this is the only way, the only way to stop you from destroying everything. There is nothing more…I can do to stop thinking it, sir. I'm sorry."
"I'm so very sorry," was her conclusion, which preceded her next action: moving the pillow closer to Integra's face as she slept. The Police Girl would shove the suffocating fabric tightly and roughly, which awakened Integra almost instantly.
It was hard, but Seras was able to continue with her assault, even when Integra began struggling wildly against her attack. Seras would tear up when she heard Sir Integra's grunts and muffled yells, watching as her feet kicks and her hands grip and scratch Seras' arms, beating her fists at them as hard as possible.
Subconsciously and almost hypnotically, Seras would swiftly jump into bed and kneel over Integra, slamming her hand on the pillow to keep it tight on her with her other hand gripping Integra's wrist. Seras saw her hand try to reach under the pillow comforting Hellsing's head, with Integra's other hand reaching at Seras with arched fingers that scratched her face, mixing blood with tears.
"Guffuhn! Guffuhn!" would be the muffled yells of Sir Integra, but those calls to her idea of Seras' identity would start to die, with those grunts and yells getting quieter and Seras began hearing the gasping of air under that breath-taking pillow.
Seras couldn't stop herself, not now, not after this, there was no going back. She can't stop her attack, as if she was compelled, as if the only conclusion in her head was to kill Integra for the good of Hellsing Organization.
Thankfully, to her and to her victim, a great force pushed her roughly from Integra. Seras cried out as she was thrusted at the wall in bullet speed, slamming against the wall in a great crash.
Slouching on the floor, she looks up to see her master stand there next to the bed, staring at her with only those orange glasses glowing so brightly without expression.
"Griffin!" shouted Integra, sitting up on her bed, sweating heavily as she breaths heavily and sees Seras against the wall, realizing that she was the culprit all this time.
"…Seras?" she breaths out in shock, her eye wide open as Alucard stomps away from her master to his fledgling. Seras looks at him in fright as he gets closer and towers over her, looking giant from where she was.
"Why did you attack Sir Integra, Police Girl," demanded Alucard with a trembling growl, "if you were anyone else…you'd be dead, so answer me. Now."
"Muh-master…" she breaths out to him, "I'm…I'm sorry…I…"
"Answer!" he demands angrily, his sharp teeth visible in his fury that made Seras jump slightly from the outburst.
"I…it's Integra…master," she began with a tremble, "she's…she's working with the Detective, I heard her, with Griffin."
This answer caused Integra to look at Seras with disgust and confusion, not understanding a word before saying with little breath, "That…what on Earth are you talking about? This is bloody nonsense!"
"I heard it!" called out Seras in tears, "I heard you talk to Griffin about how you had him speak to the Detective! Hoping you and-"
"Enough!" snapped Alucard, then hissing in controlled rage, "How dare you accuse her of such things, you do not know her like I do, otherwise you'd never disbelieve her loyalties and go to such…paranoid lengths!"
"But I saw it!" she interjected loudly.
"Saw what? What are you talking about?" yelled out Integra, desperate to get an answer for Seras' insane actions.
"In the dresser, you have a frame, and it is the Ingsoc Symbol!" desperately explains Seras with her eyes tight shut, "I saw it, I saw it in there, I saw you looking at it!" To add with that ramble, she points her finger at said dresser with a quaking hand.
Integra darts her head at the dresser, then back at Seras, before climbing out of bed as her vampire servant continues to gaze at his fledgling, keeping an eye on her during such a controversy.
Integra hesitantly opens the drawer, the reaching into it and holding a frame in her hand, gazing into it as Seras stares at her as Integra looks at it with questions in her mind about Seras' own words over it.
"Let me see it, master," breaths out Alucard. Integra looks over for a moment, returning to her photo before complying and handing her vampire servant the photoframe without hesitation.
Alucard looks at the frame with a deep frown, scanning it as Seras looks up at him with sorrow and regret, but was forced to see her actions justifiable all the same. "Do…do you see master? Do you see it?"
"It's not what you think, Police Girl," he growls back at her, "you have been mistaken. You have been lied to."
"What are you talking about!?" snaps back Seras desperately, "Can't you see it! It's the V! I know what it looks like! I saw it on Noble's Isle."
Alucard tosses the frame on Seras' lap, with his glare now visible as he growls out, "Look! See for yourself! There is nothing ignorant about it! You have been lied to!"
Seras looks at him with fear, moving her eyes down to see that frame again, and still seeing Ingsoc's logo, seeing the hands and the letters underneath with that wicked letter under them.
"What you see is the truth, Police Girl!" he growls again, "Accept it! Do you understand!"
Seras' mind began to fall apart, forcing her to get more and more paranoid against her will as she began concluding that Alucard, her own master, has betrayed everything he has stood for and has joined with the New Millennium. It didn't make sense, but she came to that conclusion over and over without a second doubt and without hesitation.
As she stared down at the photo, Alucard sighed with his frown deep. The No-Life King slowly takes his hat off, kneeling down and placing his hat against his breast and another on her shoulder. Like a father, he says her name with calmness in his dark voice.
"Seras…"
Before he could continue, the deeply unreasonable Seras Victoria slashes at her master with her glowing red tendril of an arm. The surprised Count is flung through the room by her strength, slamming against the wall and falling to the floor, knocked for six.
As Integra watches her Count fly and bash against the wall by the confused Seras, the vampiress would swiftly climb to her feet and rush out of the room, breathing heavily as she desperately tried to escape them all.
"Seras!" she'd hear Integra call out to her, but Seras couldn't turn back, for her mind was certain that Alucard would kill her for that act of treason, even when her heart bleeds out from what she did.
Frantic to get away, she eyes the window at the end of the hall, even as she heard the calls to her name from both her master and Sir Integra herself. With a scream of irrationality, she bursts out of the window with glass embedding her arms and legs, slamming into the asphalt foot-first.
Bleeding out, she ignores it as she breaths like some rabid woodland animal and makes her way to the gate in break-neck speed, leaving a trail of red light as her heart and her mind began drumming rapidly from her madness.
As she ran, covered in slashes and blood, she sees the gate open as someone walks towards her calmly with hands in his pockets, wearing a black suit with his tie waving in the wind with a small light emanating from his cigarette.
"Bond! Help! Help!" she called out, slowing down and running at him, breathing frantically as she got closer and closer to the agent. Sadly, she would not find solace in his company, only to stop and watch with horror as the Double-O pulls a shining gun from his pocket.
He points it right at her and without hesitation, shoots her in the head. Seras watches as that bullet shoots through her eye and out the back of her skull, crying out as she is thrusted back and slammed right onto the pavement.
Her vision starts to die, as she lays there in a puddle of her own blood as if without life again. Seras groans and hears shouts of anger from Sir Integra, and strangely, Quatermain…
Greyfriars Academy, Kent
Wandering the hallways was the light of a lantern, Headmaster Bunter silently steps through them with a worried gaze, looking through every corner in case someone already found out about the hidden notes of the Detective.
However, he wasn't sure if he would be hunted by the New Millennium or his own government. Bunter would walk up the stairs with a frightful huff, trying to get into his office as fast as his fat legs could take him.
Bunter would see something that would tilt his head when he got to the next hall, seeing a sliver of light from the open door of the Detective's Study. Stepping closer, he asks out, "C-Conan? Is that you?" calls out Bunter as he walks to the office carefully, "Luh-looking for more information about our Detective foe? I…I'm not sure what you are going to find, we cleaned it up as much-"
Bunter would stop when he saw to his dismay and terror the Detective, sitting at his old desk and clumping his documents together neatly, along with the older ones of Millennium as well as the letter from Mycroft Holmes. The Detective stops and stares at the terrified Bunter for a moment, only to return stacking his documents together as Bunter stares at him with his brow seeping with sweat.
"…The boy…discovered them, on his own," Bunter let out, "he is quite the effective detective, I hardly even helped, he's that good. I dare say that he is just as good as…well…"
The Detective replied by giving Bunter that cold glare that was constant on his blank face, glancing at him as he patted the end of the pile of documents on the desk before reaching into his coat.
As the Detective would pull out a yellow folder, Bunter would ask him with a nervous smile, "You…you're not going to…kill me, are you?"
As the Detective stuffs the papers in the folder, he looks at Bunter for a moment, and as he slips the folder back into his coat, he growls back calmly, "Not at all, Billy. Not at all."
Bunter winces and backs away from the door as the Detective gets up from his old chair, continuing with, "That would be horribly rude, would it not? I mean, we have been good friends during my tenure under Big Brother's Big Boot."
The phantasmal cyborg walks to the door, staring at the nervous Bunter some more as he strolls calmly. He then says to him coolly, "I shall let you live, contact those cowardly toads if you wish, it doesn't matter at all. They can't stop the inevitable, they are all going to die and Ingsoc will return with a vengeance, doing what the Major could never do and chose not to do: Take what is rightfully ours."
With those parting words, Headmaster Billy Bunter watches with a sweating unease as that vile phantom walks down the dark halls of Greyfriars calmly without fear. Bunter rests his back against the wall, clutching his chest with relief that he survived an encounter with that devil who once was a knight for the English government, apparently betrayed and demonized…
Seras opens her eyes, seeing a bright sky up ahead with butterflies fluttering happily as she lays in the warm green grass. With a confused grunt, Seras sits up and looks around to see herself in the middle of an endless plain with the sun shining brightly in the sky.
Seras looks to her right, and sees a disembodied arm, grey skinned with puncture marks, skipping with its fingers across the plains without care as Seras would watch it skip across the fields so bizarrely.
"…Was that…the Test fellow's arm?" she breaths out in confusion.
"Yes, it was."
She whips her head to the direction of the words, looking to see the Spirit of Harkonnen has returned, sitting there at a long table facing horizontally from her. He was floating in the middle of that long pink table, floating like a bee and apparently not alone.
The Spirit was accompanied by a whole group of Velociraptors, sitting at the table wearing top hats and monocles as they began drinking tea ever so calmly and elegantly. The raptors would stare at her with those red slitted eyes, drinking their black tea with a gentlemanly fashion.
"It is good to see you again, Seras Victoria," booms out Harkonnen calmly, "we have much to disc-"
"AIIIIIEEE!" she replies, running around with her arms flapping from behind and her legs swiftly taking her around the plains.
"Wait! Stop running! Why do you always fear me, Seras!?" shouts out Harkonnen desperately as the raptors continue to stare at her emotionlessly, "I am not going to harm you! Stop running! I just want to help you!"
Seras stops, turns her head and looks at him with a quivering lip. "I thought you'd be angry at me, after what I did," she whines back at Harkonnen, "It was…quite horrid."
From one of the tea cups, rose both Quatermain and Sir Integra, small and tiny as they stare at Seras with annoyance. "It was foolish, but it wasn't your fault, you silly tomboy!" grumbles Quatermain.
"Even so, I still can't believe you tried to kill me!" added Integra.
Seras looked as if she was going to cry, her lip quivering as she whimpers in shame. Harkonnen grabs the tea cup, throwing it behind his back with Integra and Leonard shouting out in shock as they fly through the sky.
"Seras, your mind has been invaded by a force so vile," cryptically stated Harkonnen, "a force that has, well, forced you to do evil things to your friends, to believe evil things, and to do irrational things…that are evil!"
"My mind has been invaded! Nooooo!" she yells out in terror, grabbing her head and running around once again much to Harkonnen's displeasure.
Thrashing his arms in the air, he calls out desperately as the raptors care so little by her terror, "No! Calm down! It's alright! We can fix this! Just listen to me and we can get rid of this evil force! Stop! Stop! STOP!"
Seras stops, looking back at him nervously looking for answers from the spirit of her weapon, turning to him slowly and staring at him with a whimper. "What…what is this evil force?"
"He waits for you, for he wishes to see you, Seras," explains Harkonnen, pointing at Seras and continuing darkly, "just behind that door, he waits."
As Seras turns her head to where he pointed, the sky turns grey and Harkonnen and the raptors swiftly disappear from her presence. She sees a large square structure, colored grey with a large black-wood door at her presence.
Walking to it, she reaches her hand to the gold knob of the door and twists it slowly. Seras pushes the door open with an echoic creak, revealing a black void that compelled her to step inside the dark room.
"What…is anyone in there?" she calls out into the room, stepping inside as she begins to see a ceiling light show itself with a squat and fat figure inside of the foreboding hell she wandered into.
"Seras…my Seras…I am glad you have come."
That voice was like the chill of winter hitting her skin, hoping that she would never hear the voice of Hanko Caligari again after Noble's Isle. When she got closer, she'd see Caligari in the middle of a dimly lit room with yellow walls and a wooden floor. He was standing on a strip of green carpet, holding a golf club in hand as he puts a golfball across the strip and missing a hole on the floor by a good ten inches.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded with hate, glaring at him with extreme hatred, "I bested you, I resisted your mind control and…" She stopped when she realized the horrid truth, that she failed after all.
Hanko walked over to her, smiling softly with the golf club in hand, and saying to her with that dark calm hiss of his, "I usually just have to hypnotize my victims with simple words and a silent environment, but a vampire, with all those silly souls and morose memories in the way, it is quite difficult."
With that club resting against his squishy fat shoulder, "So, I gave you my blood, and my memory would do the rest, giving you the truth that Ingsoc was the best governmental mind frame in the world. All we needed you to do was kill your insufferable superior, but it seems Alucard was…too much to handle, hm?"
"Even so, I would never act like that!" she snapped back, her eyes blazing red, "I wouldn't act so erratic, I wouldn't jump to such…conclusions! To do such horrible things to my loved ones!"
"That's why I…tweaked your personality by just a pinch!" he squeaked playfully, "Just to make sure you were so susceptible to killing Sir Integra…and among other things…" He finishes his statement with a quivering lip and a shaky whisper, "…afterwards."
Seras steps back in disgust, barring her sharp teeth at Caligari and growling hatefully at the fat little man, "Listen to me, you freak, I will never be yours. I am not a slave to be controlled!"
"Really, hm?" egged Caligari, placing his club against the wall, staring at Seras in a way that greatly disturbed her, "You are not a slave? Do you not owe your life, your entire being of existence to Alucard? A great man once said, "A man chooses…a slave obeys", and you obey…you never choose…my sweet Seras."
"I chose to be a vampire, Caligari," she growls back at the despicable hypnotist, "I chose to fight against ugly monsters like you and your own master. I chose to be a police officer, and a vampire hunter, and many other things that oppose you and your little organization. I am no slave, and you will never have me, you will never use me again."
"Serassss…my Serasss…" he hisses calmly as footsteps were heard from behind the small mentalist, "you can't defy me, we were meant to be. I saw your memories, I saw your past, and I feel for you, my beautiful Seras Victoria. I-"
Suddenly, brown gloves on a tan arm plop on Hanko's shoulders, jiggling lightly with a light flap as he looks to his side with shock and confusion. "Hey, fatso, that's my girl," chuckles a familiar voice.
As Seras watches with a lot of surprise and joy, Caligari screams as he is thrown to the floor by the unknown person. When Hanko's blubbery body hits the floor, the walls and floor crack apart and scatter into dust to reveal the shining sun and the green fields as the attacker is revealed to Seras Victoria.
"Pip?" breaths out Seras, then calling out in relief, "Pip!"
As Caligari trembles on the grass, Pip Bernadotte kneels down and grabs the back of Hanko's pajama-like outfit with a falsly-welcoming grin with his eye staring down at his frightened shape. "No one messes with my girl's head, you fat midget, and besides, you are a reaaal creep."
And so, he forces the whimpering Caligari to his feet and wraps his arm around his throat as another plants itself on the top of Hanko's bald head.
As Caligari squealed and struggled, Seras would instantly yell out with annoyance, "Where have you been!? Where were you when that Detective bloke was treating me like his red-headed step-child!?"
Pip replies with a nervous smile and a happy shutting of his eye, and says to her, "I tried calling out to you, but you didn't hear me."
Seras pouts and crosses her arms, "Just like you, making excuses, hmmm?"
"I'm not!" chuckled Pip with a nervous laugh, "I really did! Next time for sure I'll be there, trust me, kitten."
Seras rolls her eyes and smiles gently at him, "Alright, alright, but next time this happens, I'm gonna give you a good wopping, capiche?"
"Capiche, mounsher!" laughs Pip, stopping and looking down to see Caligari gnawing on his arm like an angry child as tears run down his fat cheeks. "Oh! You wanna be like that, eh? That's it, ya chubby goblin, I'm ending you now!"
Caligari screeches out fearfully as Pip grips his head with devilish delight, and then with a great push, snaps Caligari's fat neck swiftly. Pip Bernadotte then drops Caligari's body on the grass, with his fat body shaking heavily like jelly with his eyes pitch white and his lips pursed as slobber drips from his mouth.
"He isn't dead, but he won't be screwing around with your beautiful mind anymore," sighed Pip, resting his hand on her shoulder with success, "and if he gets out of it, I'll make sure I'll be there to kick his fat ass, mounsher."
"Thanks Pip, thank you," she sighs back with happiness, nodding as the sound of a bee buzzing around next to her. Both turn to see the Spirit of Harkonnen float next to her, sporting such a happy smile as they both look at him with distaste.
"…Who in the fucking hells is that man?" would be Pip's response to the Spirit.
"WAKE UP!" roars Harkonnen, quite suddenly and much to the fear of both Pip and Seras, both screaming in terror of the spirit and his booming voice.
Seras feels the warm hand of someone's hand rubbing against her face, so gentle and caring with her eyes opening to dim light in a white room. Seras would find herself in the infirmary of Hellsing, with her being greeted by the white walls and Sir Integra standing beside her.
Seras would look at her with her blue eyes wide with shock, quickly looking away as Integra began petting her gold hair carefully. Seras' was fixated on the blood-pack near the bed, connected into her mouth by a long red tube. "It's alright, Seras…I already know what happened," she cooed to her, "it was Caligari, wasn't it."
Seras turns to her and lets out, "…How…how did you know, sir?"
"Bond…told us everything," hissed a calm yet chilling voice, with Seras looking to see Alucard in the shadows. As soon as she spotted him, her master would step into the light, smiling down at her and saying to his fledgling, "It is good to see you back, Police Girl."
"You…you're not angry?" whimpered Seras.
"No, no I am not," responded Alucard fatherly.
Seras then pauses, before yelling out with frustration, "Wait! I remember Bond shooting me!"
"Uhm, yes…I did." The voice had Seras look at the wall, seeing James Bond himself slouching against the wall and sitting on a stool. He sighs and says to her, "I…thought you were going to attack me, you were irrational, so I…did what I had to do."
James then faces her, calmly smiling as if he did nothing wrong and showing Seras his right eye swollen and black by a quick and, as of yet, unknown pound.
"Out in the hallway, Bond," growls Integra harshly, "I would like to have a word with you." James nods and gets up from the chair, walking away with a mumble under his breath.
"What happened to his eye?" asked Seras curiously, turning to Alucard and Integra.
"Quatermain, Seras," responds Integra with a smile, "when Bond shot you, he flew into a rage and knocked Bond out cold. Alucard had to hold him back from stomping on his unconscious form."
Seras watched as Integra reached down and patted her hair again, saying to her friend and servant carefully, "I think my blood has done good work for you, so don't spend the rest of your time resting, understand."
"Eh, yes sir," Seras responds, smiling happily with a swift nod. Integra smiles back, turning and walking to the door as Seras turns to her master and asks, "Master, where is Quatermain?"
"He returned to his Manor, in Basildon," replied Alucard, "but he did give his regards to your health before he returned."
When Integra enters the hall, she'd see James Bond resting his back against the wall rubbing his aching chin. "Fucking hell…it's still throbbing," grumbles James spitefully, "never should have hired that sod-off."
"If he didn't slug you, Bond, I would have, or, better yet, Alucard," hissed Integra spitefully, "you are a lying bastard, she was calling for help, and you shot her in cold blood. If it wasn't for your anonymous "M", I'd have Alucard dispose of your insufferable existence all-together."
James glares with distaste at Integra, scowling with his eye throbbing in pain, "Be that as it may, woman, I am still technically your handler, and whether you like it or not, I'm staying. No ifs, ands, or buts."
"Don't you dare talk to me like I'm one of your…cheap harlots you pick up on a mission only to drop afterwards," growls Integra with her teeth barred with hate, "I am the Hellsing Organization's leader, my family has been protecting Britain from evil for a hundred years. I only agreed to your League because of this Detective and his vile New Millennium!"
With a deep breath, she finishes her berating of the uneasy Mr. Bond, and points out, "But you didn't come to check on Seras Victoria's condition, that would be out of character of you. So why are you here, Bond?"
James looks away, then says to Sir Integra with a calm frown, "…The other Doulbe-O-Sevens have…located the rendezvous point, we have discovered where exactly The Detective lost his Notes of the Cavorite."
Integra looks at him with shock, before calming down and nodding, "So, where is it?"
"Paris, it was in Paris," explains James calmly, "apparently the New Millennium was transporting them to a construction site, and were ambushed by the third party, but the ones the other Double-O's interrogated are not sure who it exactly was."
"I see…" breaths out Integra, rubbing her chin calmly before glaring at Bond and saying to him, "very well then, the League will be heading to Paris in three days. Anything more can you tell me?"
"Only that the third party is…very aggressive, and that it has caused problems with this Millennium and the past Millennium before," responds Bond quietly, "I'll…let you know when we have more to go on about."
With that, he says, "Until then, good-day" and walks away from her with a slouch and a hand still caressing his sore cheek. Integra watches as the untrusting sociopath wanders from her back to his superior, back to the person who hides from her and her vampire.
Integra was displeased by how this League is turning out for her, having one attempt to murder her intently, another threaten her by his presence, and another forced to do so against her will. All she hoped that Jimmy Kudo would be able to find anything about the Detective and the unknown M that lords over her enigmatically.
Headmaster's Office, Greyfriars
Bunter sits at his brown mahogany desk, looking out the window and staring out across the yard of his school with terror and worry. He spins slightly to his desk, looking at his bright red telephone with his fingers tapping his fat chin nervously.
He hesitates, unsure if the Detective would keep his promise of sparing him if he were to notify someone of his presence in England once more. However, Bunter would muster his little courage and lay his hand on the phone, sliding forward closer to the telephone and began pressing on the dial hurriedly.
Bunter waits, hearing the tone of the dial and sits there with a slouch of misery. He waits until he hears the voice of the person he was trying to get a hold of, his heart rising when he hears the voice of M.
"Hello, this is Bunter…Billy Bunter," replies Bunter, sliding to the window and replying to M, "Yes…groovy speaking with you too, sir, but…I'm afraid I have something to…tell you. It's the Detective…he showed up…here…in Greyfriars."
Listening to M's response, Bunter looks around his office for a possible intruder that never came, before saying to M, "No, I'm fine, but the Detective took notes left over…including notes I didn't find…ones more detailed about his allegiances to Millennium and…his identity."
Bunter slouches on his chair, responding to the inquisitive M, "No…Yes, I…I understand…your welcome…check in the mail? Thank you, thank you..."
He rises from his seat lightly and barks hurriedly, "Wait! There is…one more thing I forgot. The Japanese Detective, Jimmy Kudo, discovered them, but…"
Bunter grunts and listens, tapping his chin again and responding desperately, "No…but he has a hunch…however, he didn't discover all of the notes, the ones I hid under the bookcase…yes, the more detailed ones."
After hearing the parting words of the mysterious M, Bunter concludes with a shaky goodbye and places the phone back down on the slot silently. The frightful headmaster swirls his chair back to face the large window overlooking his academy, all with a sweating brow and a quiver of his lips, knowing how vile and wicked Millennium is in heart, no matter what ideology they follow.
The Banana Slug: You guys wanna know who The Detective truly is? You want me to spoil it right here? Right now?
…Alright.
…Here it is.
…Its Ray Finkle. And that means Dan Marino is M. :I