The Banana Slug: Remember when I ripped apart Bella Swan as a whiny annoying Mary Sue that was eventually eaten by a tentacle beast with her pants down?
Well, how about I do pretty much the same thing to Edward Cullen? Maybe sometime I might do Jacob Black, but compared to the rest of Twilight, I like him.
What? Blame me for liking a character that is actually pretty fucking decent.
…However, if I were going to make fun of Jacob Black, that whole pedo-imprint deal will play a HUGE factor in the mocking. :P
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 17: The Red Djinn
Hyde Park, London
Mid-August
It was raining lightly, the skies grey with the drops of water hitting softly on the umbrellas in Hyde Park as this morning was just beginning. They would pass by the green trees, the fresh grass, and the large brass statue of the savior of the human race so long ago. It was ape-like, thrusting his arms out with the statue seemingly without skin and only his muscle tissue protecting his bones and organs.
In one of the small café's in the park sat a broad tall man, dressed in white and like a gentleman, wearing pure white formal attire accompanied with black gloves and a black tie. With that he wore a large white ten-gallon hat, with his face hidden by a newspaper over his face with his black gloves tapping against the paper to drown out the annoying noise he was forced to here from his associates.
"Hmmmm, such a lovely city London is, no?" spoke out a joyfully and heavily accented voice.
"It's pretty much like any other city," groans a low and disgusted monotone, "everything seems so dreary without Marion now."
The man lowers his newspaper, glaring at his two associates with his red eyes with one covered by a monocle. He growls under his breath, knowing these are the two that are suppose to be helping him take down Hellsing and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in one fell swoop.
One was a tall Middle-Eastern man, almost seven feet and incredibly lanky. He had his black hair slick back, his eyes hidden with black shades, and a devilish grin, teeth razor-sharp, with a Van Dyke beard with said beard curling upwards. The man wore a flamboyant shirt with it unbuttoned down to his chest, showing off a medallion of a small gold oil lamp. The shirt was bright red, with black flames resting at the bottom of his shirt and his cuffs. He wore black leather jeans, ending with black cowboy boots that seemed to curl up at the toes.
The other was a morose young man with pale white skin and brown hair that stood straight up, resting upon the most vacant and lifeless expression ever seen. The boring man had glowing yellow eyes, all with a pouty frown and a low brow. He wore a black jacket, and a white buttoned shirt underneath it all. He had blue denim jeans, with sensible black shoes underneath it all.
"Don't be so dramatic, Gary!" laughed the tall man, "There are more better pieces of fine ass in the world! Hell, you might find one here in merry old London!"
"Marion was the only girl for me, Jinnicky," replies the vampire named Gary with a bare of his white teeth, "I loved her, and I will kill the man who took her from me."
"Oh, give it a rest, pretty boy!" teased Jinnicky with a point of his finger, "She was a mouth-breathing twit with no personality, and if you really loved the bitch, ya should've fucked her before she died."
"I didn't want to hurt her," groans back Gary, pouting with him turning from Jinnicky with disgust.
However, he twirls back in a sour shock when Jinnicky gives a tight pinch to Gary's bottom. The tall man laughs and teases horribly, "Oh, give it a rest, pretty boy! I saw the way you looked at me and those Valentine boys."
"What?" grunts a frustrated Gary, breathing heavily from his nose.
"Mary was a beard, I knew it, the Detective knew it, even the late Major knew it!" laughed Jinnicky, continuing to tease the angry vampire relentlessly before the tall fat man finally spoke out with anger.
"Will you two faggots shut up," he growls, throwing his paper on the table and stomping towards the two. He was almost eight feet tall, and was almost four feet wide, sporting a black pencil moustache and grey slick hair under his hat, and a frown with his many sharp teeth barred with a loud grunt.
"He started it," grumbles Gary miserably.
"I don't give a rat's ass, hearing you two is reminding me of my dead jackass kids," he growls out, his voice a low and deep Southern-American accent. He tips his hat lightly and says to them both, "Now then, we have a bunch'a limey bastards to rip and tear apart, all in two different locations."
"When can we get started?" chuckles Jinnicky happily.
"Real soon, boys," laughs the robust vampire, "just need the Detective's call and we'll bring hell to them Gentlemen." He then points at Jinnicky, saying, "Anyway, you will be joining me at the Manor, where you'll have the honor of killin' Alucard."
"Alucard is mine," blurted Gary angrily.
"Shut up! Alucard will rip yer ass out and shove it down yer throat," growls the large vampire, "that is why you are goin' after the Great White Hunter, give the old bastard a predator he can't kill."
Gary looks away, scowling deeply as Jinnicky laughs and says to the leader, "Alucard will be beggin' for life when I am done with the guy, Jackson. Him and his little wittle friends!"
Jackson chuckles and says darkly, "Call me Big Bad Jack, friend."
Hellsing Organization
Seras would step out of the infirmary with her head down in shame, walking down the halls with her arms crossed in her depression. She decided the first person she wanted to see was her beloved leader, to apologize and find out what she was being so paranoid about.
Approaching the door, she pushes it with her bandaged arm and looks inside innocently. There she sees Sir Integra putting her jacket on, finished changing as Seras blushes and blurts out, "Uh…Sir Integra? Can I…come back a bit later?"
Integra turns and smiles at the young vampire, "Not at all, I just finished dressing myself." Integra stands there and watches Seras inch into the room.
"I…I just want to apologize again for…what happened two nights ago," she breathed out, "I couldn't help myself, I didn't want to hurt you."
"Seras, knock it off," chuckled Integra, shaking her head, "like you said, it could not be helped, so keep calm and stop panicking, for me."
Seras looks away, letting out, "Sir, it has to be my fault…I tried to kill you, I acted so-" She was stopped by a hard tap to her forehead, causing her to wince in shock and close her eyes, pouting childishly.
"I said no more, Seras, if you keep yammering on I will not take you with me to the British Museum," she scolds heartily.
"British Museum?" replied Seras, "Why are you going there?"
As Integra walked to her dresser, she said to her vampire servant, "Conan said he found something very interesting in Greyfriars, something he needed to talk to me in person about that the British Government would rather not have us know."
She reaches into the dresser and holds in her hand the photo that Seras mistook for propaganda. Seras leans forward to look at the picture, seeing not the falsehoods that Caligari made her believe, but a photo of the past, Integra's past.
It was a picture of a young Integra Hellsing, smiling with joy with someone sitting beside her. The young Hellsing and the woman were sitting on a bench at a pier, overlooking the ocean with balloons in their hands. The woman was an older woman with short grey hair, around her late forties, wearing a slim black dress as she smiles calmly with the happy young Integra.
"Who's that?" asked Seras, pointing at the older woman in the photo.
"That would be Miss Emma Peel, a dear friend of mine from my younger days," explained Integra, "she helped me with school when I was…still coming to terms with my father's death, my uncle's betrayal, and having Hellsing as my own. Emma even helped keep me out of Rosa Coote's with her tutoring, I owe her my life and safety…" Integra sighs and presses her hand against her eye patch, "I miss her…I still wonder where she could be."
Seras rubs her arm and says, "Can't believe I thought that of all things was more of that Detective's Ingsoc business."
"Seras," groans Integra harshly yet calmly.
"Sorry sir!" yelped Seras, smiling nervously and scratching the back of her head.
Integra rolls her eye and says, "That's better, now come on, I'm sure Alucard and the rest of the League will keep my home safe and secure." She walks to the door, with Seras Victoria following her closely as the two exited Integra's room, down the hallway to get answers from the young Detective.
The Nautilus, River Thames
In the captain's deck, the dread pirate Nemo sat on her chair, with her coat hanging off the arm of her seat and exposing her black aquatic tattoos. Nemo looked at the water with a dark glare, her hands pressed together against her chin and watched as the light gleamed from above.
The captain was deep in her thoughts, something felt wrong and she didn't know what. She did not know what was causing her to be so paranoid, but her stomach turned at the horrid feeling of whatever could be wrong.
"Mike," she called out softly. The person she called out to would turn her head to her captain, walking from her seat at the control panel.
The shipmate, Nemo's First Mate, was a tall pale woman, with red hair tied in pigtails and a cigarette in her lips. She wore a red loose shirt that showed her right shoulder, and a red skirt with red sneakers to end it.
"Yeah, Cap?" she asks, "What is it?"
"I need you to check the ship, I feel something bad is going to happen," replied Nemo, "call it a captain's intuition."
"Maybe your bein' a bit paranoid, Cap?" sighs Mike with a raised brow, "I mean, you still think the government's gonna arrest you once they catch that Detective guy."
"It's not that, Mike," breaths out Nemo, sitting up and looking at her with glaring worry, "something seems amiss, as if there is someone in my ship that…" She then gets up and turns to the door, hearing a low growl that caused her to quickly dart to the door. Mike follows as the captain reaches for the scimitar perched on the wall and opens the door to reveal that Captain Nemo had a perfect reason to be paranoid.
Nemo sees to her shock a bloody mess in the halls, and a massive roar from her assailant. It was a sharkman, a shark-like humanoid with long webbed claws and a jaw filled with rows of sharp teeth. It wore blue camouflage pants and an open black survival jacket, dressed like a soldier.
However, its attack would be cut short as Nemo swiftly slashed upwards at the sharkman, cutting its throat in one vertical slash. Sprayed with blood, she watches as the shark-beast groans in his death. His death was soon followed by the sound of gunshots and yelling from her crewmates in the lower decks, along with the gurgling roars of the sharkmen throughout the ship.
"That thing…" breathed out a petrified Mike, "…that was one of…Moreau's animal-men? I thought we put a stop to Millennium's animal farm!"
"Obviously Millennium has more than one of Moreau's hybrid settlements," Nemo would say to her first mate, "and now they intrude upon Hell itself!" She stomps from her deck and sneers spitefully with her scimitars ready for more blood. The sounds of her men shouting out their last breaths and the sounds of gunfire puncturing wet flesh further motivated her to kill and possibly die for her faithful men.
Alucard would sip a wine glass of blood with content as he gazes out the window of the cloudy morn, smiling with relaxation as he relaxes on a large red chair. He waits for his master and fledgling to return, staying guard and making sure nothing threatens the Hellsing Organization.
"So, what do you think Conan has to say to Sir Integra?" asks Alucard, turning his head lightly over at the dresser in the back of the room.
"Aheheh, can't say, but probably givin' us as much information we already 'ave," hisses out an invisible voice, "and shouldn't we be off to friggin' Paris by now? I thought we 'ad to get them Notes before the Detective does."
"Integra said that whatever Conan had to tell her was very important, that could give us insight who the Detective may or may not be," replies Alucard calmly, sipping his glass and continuing, "after that, Integra will be sending us on our way almost immediately."
"She can take her time, to be frank," groans Griffin with pessimism, "Paris is a bloody sewer that gets too much hype for that dildo of a landmark and ass-load 'bout amour or whatever those Frenchies keep pandering about."
"Only a reprobate like you would think this of a city like Paris so harshly," scoffs Alucard with a laugh, "I am actually excited to return to Paris, it has been…almost ten years since I visited the capital."
"The only thing good 'bout Paris is the priceless art, whores ripe fer the fuckin', and mimes just beggin' to be thrashed like me ex-wife," joked Mr. Griffin horribly, all as Alucard looked out the window and saw a figure stand at the gates of the Hellsing Organization.
His grin dies down into a frown as he hears Griffin step closer to his side as Alucard sits with ill content, "Griffin, where is Jason."
"Like I know, I do me best to stay away from the spastic," he grumbles back, "why are yeh askin'?"
"Because I think we are going to need him…" breaths out Alucard with a low growl, staring at the lone stranger as the guards of the Hellsing Organization rush to the gate to confront this enigma.
"Oi! State your business, sir!"
The guards would point their automatics at the tall intruder, staring straight at Jinnicky as he stands there with hands in his pocket and a mischievous grin. He looks up at the ten guards as they treat him so aggressively.
"Sir, are you with Nemo's party?" interrogated an old black-haired guard gruffly, snarling under his short black beard, "You will answer or we will open fire."
"Whaaaat?" whines Jinnicky playfully, "You treatin' poor Jinnicky with so much rudeness? I am just wandering around, seeing the city, enjoying the-"
"Last time someone came here to Hellsing, wandering around, seeing the city, turned out to be a part of bunch of terrorists, sir!" barked the guard, "We are not gonna take any chances, so you are going to leave or we will open fire!"
After that, Jinnicky twiddles with his beard and thinks to himself, chiming out playfully, "Ya knooow what? You are startin' to annoy me, and I think you are gonna have to deal with my eternal wrath!"
Without warning, the guard is flung at the gate by an unknown force, slamming into the steel bars with a painful roar. Jinnicky watches with a wide grin as the guards stare with horror as the interrogator was slammed into the gate over and over, with blood splattering from his battered body as those curdled screams died out a minute ago.
"Shoot him! Shoot him!" screams a blonde cragged guard loudly, "Shoot the bastard!" The guards were forced to hit the mangled body of their fellow guard as their many bullets rush through the gate and puncture Jinnicky's body non-stop.
Jinnicky would stand there as the bullets would bounce off and fall on the ground as if he was made of rubber. They continue to shoot him, only for the man to swiftly jut his hand out and push the gate forward with insane strength.
Four of the guards were hit by the gate, flying through the courtyard and crushed by the door of the mansion, leaving them mangled with blood squirting from the crushed corpses. One guard had all his eyes popped out as Jinnicky walks to the door with a calm and arrogant swagger.
Before the guards would attempt to shoot the smiling villain, they would hear the sounds of screeching tires as they realize that this powerful enemy was not alone. They look to see four armored trucks burst through the fences and come to a loud halt on the muddy grass.
Stepping out of one of the trucks was Big Bad Jack Valentine, holding a large sawed-off shotgun in his hand as he stomps over to Jinnicky as the tall man stands there proudly.
Before the guards would open fire, they were ripped apart by a spray of bullets from the windows of the black armored trucks. Crimson blood spraying on the pathway and the green grass, leaving shredded corpses on the ground.
Valentine stomps forward and thrusts his foot on one of the dead bodies' head, pushing down and hearing the cracking skull under his boot. "Eeeehehehehee! That Major was right!" laughs Big Bad Jack, "These Hellsing faggots are as spineless as the rest of the limeys in this fucking country."
As the truck doors opened, Jinnicky laughs out loud, "You so cocky, buddy! I wonder if you'll stay that way when Alucard comes out of those doors and rapes you a new asshole, like what he did to your sons?"
"I'd like to see the son of a whore try," snarls Big Bad Jack, sneering as his ghouls would shamble behind them. The ghouls were wearing anti-riot body armor, same as his son's, and held automatics in one hand and large anti-riot shields in the other.
The front doors suddenly force open, like a strong gale blasts them open, the two would watch the open door as a tall red figure stands in the doorway. They see his yellow glasses in the darkness, all as they heard him sniff the air loudly. "…That…smell…"
"Eh? What're ya talkin' 'bout, boy?" barks Jackson with a raised chin.
"The smell, it is so…familiar…but where did I…" Alucard stops, smiles that devilish yet charming grin, and breaths out, "Oh yes, The Valentine Brothers, you're related to them."
"Yer lookin' at their pappy, count," snarls Jackson, adjusting his coat like a haughty businessman.
"Ah, so this is about revenge?" taunts Alucard quietly, "Avenging your son's death? Does it anger you to know that your son, Luke Valentine, died like a squealing pig."
Jackson laughs and shakes his head, "Actually, them dying has been nothin' but a boon fer me. Biggest mistake was lettin' them join Millennium and not snappin' their necks like chickens. Worse was not makin' that whore of an ex-wife abort them shits."
Tilting his hat, he grins and hisses out, "Funny thing, I always hated Luke, but I always hated Jan more, and even funnier, Jan always hated me, but Luke always hated me more! Funny thing, huh!?" After that, he goes into a hearty yet bone-chilling bellow of laughter, with Alucard chuckling in response.
"I can see where your son's get their vile nature, from such a fat swine like yourself," taunts Alucard rudely, earning Jackson's increasing ire.
"I'd rip yer teeth out and shove'm down yer throat for that, yeh coat-wearing gator bait," he growls like a beast, before smiling again and hissing out, "However, my Middle-Eastern friend here is gonna be here keepin' ya company as I come inta yer house and piss in yer coffin."
"Enough talk already," giggled Jinnicky excitedly, hopping up and down, amusing the fat vampire immensely.
"Heheheheheh! Alright, alright, bud," laughs Big Bad Jack, "I won't keep yeh."
Alucard stares down at the jumping man as he walks down the steps of Hellsing, tilting his head and inspecting the tall creature curiously. "I…don't know what you are, you are not a vampire, but you have…properties that are quite…familiar to me. Who and what are you?"
"Me?" calls out Jinnicky, stopping and pressing his hands on his chest, smiling happily and introducing elegantly, "Why, I be the great Jinnicky Marid! The boon of villains and the bane of heroes! They call me the Red Djinn, because that is what I am, No-Life King! I am a genie of the most despicable degree!" The genie would then give the count two middle fingers and break elegance and shout out tauntingly, "I am the bastard waste-child of the motherfucking Blazing World! And I am going to make you my little bitch and fuck you night and day!"
"A genie, mm?" hisses Alucard with calm surprise, "Never thought I'd have to deal with your kind…in a way, I am anxious to see what the extent of your powers are."
"Flattered, dear," he hisses back, grinning insanely, "but you are going to never find out how far I can go, because this battle is already over!" Jinnicky holds his hands out, clapped together and swiftly swishing them apart.
This quick move would cause a catastrophic blow to Alucard, as he was split apart in a straight vertical line down the middle. His halves would be thrown across the yard by Jinnicky, who stood there calmly with a wide grin as Big Bad Jack stammers in shock at Jinnicky's power.
"You…you took down Alucard…without even touching him!" blurts out Jackson, "I mean, you killed him just like THAT! I knew you were powerful, but this-"
"Don't be silly, silly," laughs Jinnicky, "he's still alive, no way am I gonna kill him."
"What!?" growls an angry Jackson Valentine, all as his ghouls start marching into Hellsing Mansion in single file.
"I'm just bruisin' the vampire up, showin' him who's boss, that's all," chuckles Jinnicky, "and after I rough him up a bit more, I plan to keep him as my slave for all eternity. I'm sure the Detective won't have any problem with that, correct?"
Big Bad Jack pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head, "I ain't got TIME for this shit, Jinnicky! Just take care of Alucard, alright!? That! Is! All!" After that yell, Jackson stomps after his army of ghouls into Hellsing as the genie looks at the shredded body and sees a black mist rise from the dark void of Alucard as a red light shines underneath.
Jinnicky does a back-flip, landing on his feet and holding his palm out in challenge, hissing in joking bloodlust, "Your move, honey!"
British Museum, London
Conan waited in the entrance hall of the Museum, sitting on a polished wood bench pressed against the wall, looking up at a picture of a great Queen from long ago, who had a blue hue around her fey-human form. She had the most elegant of dresses for her time, that beautiful Queen Glorianna, the one who started it all.
He turns his head when the doors open to see Sir Integra and Seras enter through the rotating doors, Conan rises from the bench and greets the two with a inviting smile. "Sir Integra, Miss Victoria, good to see you. We have much to discuss."
"I'm sure, Detective Kudo," replies Integra, following Kudo into the museum and saying to him, "I just don't understand why we cannot talk about this at the mansion."
"Or why we are not informing Bond about this?" inquired Conan as he led them into the halls, with the walls covered in portraits of the finest degree, ones that would give Griffin an idea.
"You think we're being bugged?" questions Integra, with Seras darting her head at her master with worry.
"I believe so, and I doubt they want us to know what I found out about the Detective," says Conan, straightening his bowtie with a hint of pride.
"Then tell me," responds Integra, very interested in the information about their new information.
"Well, he did in fact work for the British Government during Big Brother's dictatorship, and had contacts with important figures like Gerry O'Brien and Harold Wharton, but also a Montana Max, whom I believe could be no one else but our late Major." exposits Jimmy Kudo, "It also said that he was once a recruiter for Millennium."
"What do you mean exactly?" asks Integra, looking at the pictures as they walked to not draw attention to the eerily empty museum.
"The Detective was the one who recruited various persons that were used for Millennium's artificial vampire project," said Conan lowly, "they included Rip Van Winkle, Zorin Blitz, and our Gwynplaine friend from Noble's Isle." He sighs and says, "The letters dated from the late thirties to the mid-fifties, near the end of the HYDRA Rebellion of East Germany, but I am sure he recruited others for Millennium."
"Is that all? You told me that you had an idea what the Detective's identity might be," rushed Integra with a lust for knowledge.
"I…I'm getting to that, Sir Integra," sighs Kudo hesitantly, "what I found out…it wasn't good." Kudo stops and leans his back against the wall, facing the two with a sense of moroseness and unanswered questions, "Well, it seems the Detective was indeed alive during the Victorian Era, that wasn't doubted, but I found a letter that was from a Mycroft Holmes."
"Sherlock's elder brother?" breaths out Integra with curiosity, "Who was it to?"
"Moriarty, James Moriarty," was his answer, which created a long pause from the three. Integra furrowed her brow as Seras looks at the young Detective with an uneasy eagerness. Conan simply looks away, shaking his head as he was forced to reveal more about the evidence.
"…And?" Integra would asks to the Boy Detective.
"In the letter, Mycroft was lambasting Moriarty for Sherlock's death, how he said that Sherlock was a traitor of England…and that Moriarty was working for the British Government all along," would be Kudo's next statement.
Integra's good eye twitches as she reaches for her cigar, with her gloved hands shivering as she places it in her lips. Seras looks with disbelief at Conan, but did not deny that the government was being quite untrustworthy to her and her family of late.
"Also…in the letter, Mycroft called him…M, saying it was his new title after he was promoted," continues Kudo darkly, "and that he swore that if his brother was alive, that he would make him regret-"
"Enough, Kudo…enough," lets out a mortified Integra, lighting her cigar with a disturbed glare, "…I think I've heard enough…let me comprehend this all…for a moment."
"Of course, sir…I'm sorry," calms Conan with shame.
"Don't be, this needed to be told," replies Integra as she turns slowly, then asking the young detective, "So…you are saying the Detective, the new leader of Millennium, is the Great Detective himself? Still alive even to this day?"
"No…of course not," sighs Kudo with a nervous frown, "but I can see why the Detective could possibly be him. The Detective spoke about how he was betrayed by the government, how much he despised M, and he was not fond of me and my status of Holme's replacement. All I am saying that the Detective may in fact be Sherlock Holmes in a cybernetic form, even if he is so…out of character."
"People change with time," says Integra as she starts walking down the halls with Seras tailing her, "just ask Alucard." As Conan began following her as well, Integra presses her gloved palm against her eye patch and groans out, "It just…raises too many questions. All in all, my suspicions of Bond and his superior are true, they are hiding something from me about our good Detective."
Seras then asks Integra, "But why? Why does it matter if we know who he is?"
"A devious criminal mastermind turned out to work for the British Government, and said government had a hand in Holme's demise, doesn't look good, even if it was such a long time ago," answers Integra after taking a puff and breathing the smoke from her nostrils. As she places her finished cigar into the ashtray, she says to them both as they get closer to the end of this hall, "They are ashamed, that's what it is, and they are intent on keeping the Detective, as well as this new M, a secret. We were just hired to clean up their mess, not to ask questions."
When the three would turn to enter the new hall, they stop as Integra sees a stranger in the distance admiring a painting from far away. Her reaction was one of suspicion, while Seras and Conan would freeze with shock at the familiar foe standing in the museum with his glaring red eyes scanning the art on the wall.
"…Seras…is…is that him?" Integra asks her quietly.
"…Yes, sir…" she replies with a shaky tone, "…that is the Detective."
Integra would muster her grand courage and step toward the cyborg, with Seras quickly following nervously for fear of Integra's life with Conan close by. Integra would get a better look at the demon, with his pale owlish face staring into the painting, which depicted a running waterfall over a steep and treacherous cliff. Underneath it, the gold plaque would read, "Reichenbach Falls".
"Detective, I presume," calls out Integra, getting closer and closer to the robotic menace, "I am glad to finally meet you in person, your predecessor was more secure, contacting me via-"
"That is close enough, woman," snarls the Detective coolly, with Integra stopping with offense, but deciding to comply for now. The Detective turns his head with the sound of winding gears, seeing that Integra was joined by Conan Edogawa and Seras Victoria, who glared at the cybernetic villain with grand contempt.
"The tomboy and the imposter, how nice to see you once more," he hisses calmly, "but this is between me and the woman, not you two."
"I am not leaving Sir Integra's side," she growls back at him.
The Detective simply sighs in irritation, then saying, "If you must be difficult, it seems I will have to put up with your deplorable existence." The Detective turns and stares down at the Head of Hellsing, who looked at him with a hateful bravery.
"What, pray tell, are you doing here in my homeland?" she interrogates at the robotic phantom, "I am sure it isn't just simply to look at nostalgic art."
"I have come to you…in a very harsh time," responds the Detective with a slight unease, "I had once asked politely for your League to step aside and let me retake Britain for its own good, and now I have to take more drastic measures."
"And what would that be, Detective?" she questions suspiciously.
The Detective glares down at Integra with a blank and ever-present hate, saying to her, "At this moment, members of my New Millennium are striking at your base of operations, to eliminate your League."
"Same as last time?" scoffs Integra goadingly, "I'm sure Alucard can handle himself."
"And what of Captain Nemo?" queries the Detective almost tauntingly, "Can she hold off Moreau and her small army of ichthyoidal commandos?" He then taunts to her, "And what of Quatermain? Is he capable, in his weakened state of withdrawal, of standing against a vampire of a powerful degree alone?"
Integra grits her teeth and barks out, "How dare you! You come here, expecting to bully me in your ways of thinking, and have the gall to treat me as an inferior. A fool such as yourself would only come to that conclusion."
"Struck a nerve? How emotional the female species can be," scoffs the Detective in his arrogance, "I can call them off at any time, and spare them if you would only swear your allegiance to the New Millennium. As you may disbelieve, we are vastly differ-"
"Enough of your lies, you arrogant twat," scoffs back Integra, glaring with a smirk, "you are just like that prideful swine that I shot straight in the forehead, and I swear, in the end, I will see you dead like the traitorous bastard you are."
The Detective lets out a deep growl and a snide, "Harlot" as he raises his hand back to assert his arrogant dominance to her, only to stop his blow as he sees a winding mass of black tentacles jut from Seras' bandaged arm.
Seras snarls and gives a glowing red glare at the Detective, hissing out, "…I swear I won't lose this time, you bastard, if you dare lay a finger on Sir Integra."
The Detective froze and stared at the enraged Seras Victoria, lowering his hand down and chuckling, "Don't make threats you cannot back up, but I shall…calm myself in front of the lady."
"Do, sir, you're British, have some manners," taunted Integra in dark snide, "or did the British Government take that away from you after your supposed betrayal?"
The Detective would stare at Integra with his glowing red eyes, asking of her in a cold voice, "Do you…know who I am?"
"I have an idea, Detective," she responds with a growing frown, "but I am not going to jump to conclusions just yet, not when the evidence is so thin, but know this…we will find out eventually."
"I knew you would not understand, a puppet for this new weaker government," harshly growls the Detective.
"On the contrary, I have my doubts about M and his little agent as well, but it does not mean we are allies, Detective," points out Integra softly yet sternly.
"Hm, it seems so," he growls out, stepping back and saying to them, "then you have made your beds, and you will be buried underneath the rubble of London after I recover the Cavorite. Give my regards to M, when you meet him at last. Tell the rotten-toothed bastard that he is going to join his ex-wife very soon."
Integra watches as the Detective walks away, glaring as the phantom would escape her grasp at this moment, knowing that he would easily overpower them all for this moment. In the future, however, she would be certain to defeat him as easily as the late Major.
"Sir…can you get to Hellsing by yourself?" asks Seras with a nervous knot in her stomach, "I need to get to Quatermain's, I'm afraid that-"
"Then don't waste time, Seras," interrupts an understanding Integra, "go and save the old hunter, he'll need all the help he can get."
Seras turns to run to the entrance of the Museum, only to stop and look back at Sir Integra, "Thank you sir, be safe."
Integra nods as Seras turns and runs out to protect the Great White Hunter from a powerful predator, clenching her fist tightly and fearing for the safety of her men and Alucard, fearful that history has returned to repeat itself. Integra was sure this Detective took notes from the late Major, and that he had something special planned for the No-Life King.
Hellsing Organization
Jinnicky is thrown back, grinning with bullet holes through his immortal body as sand seeps from the wounds, replacing the blood that usually fuels living and undead beings.
"Oooooh, those be some powerful guns!" cackles Jinnicky, "Mind if I have them?"
"You may take them…" hisses the Count, standing in front of the Hellsing Organization as he reloads his gun with his eyes glowing red, "…when you pry them from my cold-dead hands."
Jinnicky stomps his foot on the ground, creating a fissure of red fire that speeds to Alucard in zipping directions. The vampire would simply move to the right, letting the blow take his arm and singe it off, and fire straight at the genie's forehead.
This did not deter him, simply forcing him to lean back with that demented grin still present. Jinnicky Marid points his finger at Alucard slowly, then giving a loud and echoed snap before jutting up.
From below the earth, a cluster of long burned arms reach out at Alucard, grabbing his limbs and throat, tugging his hair with one even gripping his bottom jaw. Jinnicky rushes at Alucard, cackling madly as he throws his fist down and then thrusts it upward at the vampire's jaw.
Jinnicky makes Alucard chomp down on the rotten fingers that gripped his lower jaw, then being sent into the air in supersonic speed by the immensely powerful genie's uppercut. The Red Djinn would squat down, laughing as he thrusts himself up in the air after.
Jinnicky's eyes water as the genie gets closer to the falling Alucard. Getting closer and closer, he tilts his head in surprise as his powerful opponent was now pure black, with his hands together by finger and thumb, and those red eyeballs covering his entire body.
In his released state, Alucard sprouts the wings of a raven and flies at Jinnicky like a hawk snatching its prey, snarling with his teeth bare and jagged. His bite aims straight at Jinnicky's throat, sliding his teeth deep into his flesh and rips it off with a grab of his collar and a jerk of his neck, shooting sand out from the open wound and into the air in a great spray.
The Red Djinn's mad enjoyment didn't die, with the genie hissing to Alucard tauntingly as they fell, "You think this scares me? I am a genie, devil count! Limitless cosmic power is mine!" He slams his palm into Alucard's face, just as the two stop flying down to the ground and float in the middle of the clouds.
Jinnicky starts slamming his fist repeatedly at the side of Alucard's skull, getting more and more delighted the more he hears it crack and squish. That stopped when Alucard grabs that impacting fist and takes a nasty bite on the genie's hand. Tragically, Alucard learns that one having sand for blood has benefits, especially if a Vampire is biting the jugular of a Genie.
Growling in agonizing rage, he throws the Red Djinn away as he grips his face in pain, with Alucard's eyes burning from the pain. The genie catches himself in mid-air and starts dancing in the sky, pumping his fists up and down as he marches without progress. "If you think that hurt, wait till I collect you as my slave, Alucard. I will make you beg for death to a man who gives no death to the slaves he enjoys to torture!"
"Sadistic…and stupid…qualities I find irritating in an opponent," growls back Alucard, opening his bloodshot eyes and glares at Jinnicky with irritation, "I don't care what you are, I will defeat you and slay you, you giggling freak!"
Jinnicky stops dancing and holds his arms together as he lets out a brave snarl, "Come on then, what else ya got?"
Black tentacles, covered in red eyes, blast out in high speed from Alucard's brutally-ripped mouth, wrapping around the limbs and neck of Jinnicky. The tentacles came in the tens, ripping the cheeks of the No-Life King and forcing his jaw apart in great strain. The Red Djinn was genuinely surprised by this move, as his mad grin disappears into a grimace.
The vampire lord swiftly begins spinning midair, with Jinnicky's body thrashing in the wind from the high-speed of Alucard's swirling attack with the vampire staring at his flailing body with an insane grin. Finishing his blow, Alucard tosses the body of the genie supersonically at the ground, with Jinnicky flailing and coming closer and closer to the wet grey pavement.
The mad djinn would impact the road with a large, yet over-exaggerated, flaming explosion, creating a flume of red smoke reaching into the sky just as the No-Life King slams down back to earth. He kneels for a moment, before rising in front of the fiery crater that held Jinnicky's form.
"…Tell me this, Red Djinn?" snarls out Alucard tauntingly, with his hair writhing in dark power, "…if you are so powerful, then why didn't the Detective simply…wish for the control of Britain? Why does he have to do all this damn conspiracy if he has a being of phenomenal cosmic power in his grasp?"
Chuckling, the vampire says, "The answer…is simple…you are not a powerful genie. You are one of the weaker ones, a ring genie by the guess of it. You are not the child of the lamp, but a bastard of the ring!"
"Yessss…a bastard…of the ring…" hisses a dark echoing voice from the flames as they began growing more, "and you…a slave to blood…you will always be a slave…even if you own ones yourself…"
"But even though you are the weakest type of jinni, I cannot kill you, and since I am the strongest of the night-walkers, you cannot kill me," he hisses to the genie, "so why don't we cut this fight short, I have an organization to keep standing."
"…Foolish little bitch!" snarls the voice, now booming in a frequency that shakes the earth, "When I am done with you, you will beg me to keep you as my slave! And I will enslave your pet! And then your master! They will all be mine!"
Alucard watches as the jinn rises from the flames halfway, revealing a form that was god-like and satanic all at the same time. The Red Djinn was just as his nickname said he was, turning into a large muscular beast with glistening red skin. His large arms would extend out as his fingers arched with a black claw on each digit.
His eyes were blazing yellow, with the innards of his maw equally blazing and golden as he roars at Alucard with black teeth visible from his flaming jaws. Alucard holds his arm out to the side, with a long black blade jutting from his palm as he stares down at the gargantuan genie.
"Impressive, I'd be intimidated if you were an all-powerful genie of the lamp," sneers Alucard bravely.
"Silence!" roars Jinnicky, holding his palm out as a jet of immensely hot flames at the vampire king. Alucard leaps back and holds his long claymore out in preparation for the tense battle with this divinely demonic being. "You are shit compared to me!" angrily snarls out the Red Djinn, "And when I have you, shackled and broken, you will still be shit!"
"If only your ally was here, Jinnicky!" laughs Alucard, swirling his sword engagingly, "I said similar words…to his favored son, some time ago."
It would turn out, that since Millennium's first attack, that the Hellsing Organization have prepared for any more strikes of any enemy. Already, twenty-five of Valentine's ghouls have fell to the swift silver bullets that zip past the bodies in a bloody mess.
The bullets would rain down against the army, coming from the small turrets coming from the ceilings that aim straight at the enemy mass with the armed guards blasting away with the turrets overhead.
Big Jack Valentine would hide behind the corner of the shattered wall, growling as he keeps his shotgun close to him. He snarls and bares his teeth, his red eyes wide as he keeps an eye out for the bullets that slowly stopped.
"Give up, vampire!" calls out the leader of the squad proudly, "We've taken procedures after the last attack on the Hellsing Organization! We're prepared for you and your bloody ghouls!"
"Damn proud boast for a fog-breather!" snaps back Jack, "I'll kick your ass real nice, because I'm a damn American!"
"Just like a bloody yank to use the American card," growls the squad leader under his breath, then shouting to his men, "Get ready men! I don't know how much those turrets can fire at these Millennium bastards!"
Big Jack sighs in a dark growl, shaking his head as he begins thinking of a way to get at the guards he so wanted to lacerate and thrash into a bloody mess, the same bloody mess his ghouls are being made into.
Desperate, Big Jack looks up at the ceiling, with Big Bad Jack Valentine developing a very drastic idea that could work very well for the gigantic vampire. He looks to the ghouls, slobbering and moaning from the hallway as they ate the dead remains of the guards they did manage to mutilate.
"Stand by, boys! I'll see ya soon!" he shouts to them, squatting down right after before shooting up into the air and slamming right through the ceiling of the hall to the next floor.
He'd be greeted by two very shocked guards as the monstrous vampire grins at them with a devilish delight. Jack reaches out to one of the guards, right as he was pointing his gun at the rotund vampire, and grabs his entire hand with his face smushed by the grand palm.
The other guard watches in horror as his partner lets out a curdling and horrific scream, right as Big Bad Jack tightens his grip and crushes his head with his hand. Blood and bits of skull explode out with the guard standing there, shivering and mortified, as Jackson would whip the lifeless body back and point the shotgun right at the traumatized guard at his chest.
With a loud boom, the armed guard's chest would turn into a mess of blood and guts, mixed with the broken ribs covered in crimson juice as that guard falls on the floor. Only his limbs and head remained from the blast, with Big Bad Valentine stomping through the hall with no care for the lifeless body he drops on the floor.
Big Bad Jack stops, looking down and grinning with a deep animalistic growl as he smells out the Hellsing guard he swear he would mutilate. The giant vampire would position himself carefully, grumbling as he starts spreading his feet carefully. Jackson continues to groan as he keeps inching his feet perfectly, before finally stopping and snorting with accomplishment.
Big Bad Jack then breaths loudly, and then squats down again before jumping once more. Instead of impaling himself into the ceiling again, he would slam down through the floor and down to where the guards blocking his path were situated in.
They look at the falling vampire with surprise as the big bad vampire stomps on the turrets, shattering them as a guard would be squashed by Jack's giant foot. Standing on a pool of blood with a mash of red meat underneath his boot, he blasts another guard with his massive shotgun in the head. He watches with a grin as that guard's head splatters into a storm of blood and brain matter, before turning his attentions to his squad leader with ire.
Before the guard could blast him with his pistol, Valentine grabs the guard's hand and crushes it with a nasty squish and cracking bone preceding the roaring scream of the guard, feeling such pain from Valentine's rough and crushing grip.
When Jackson lets go, the squad leader bellows out as he holds his broken wrist, looking at his mangled hand with horror. In his terrified state of distraction, Jackson grabs his throat and lifts him up to eye level, with the guard struggling against the tight grip and kicking at the large vampire's round gullet.
"You ain't got the spiiiine to fight against a real man!" spat out a prideful vampire, "It sickens me that my fuckin' kids were killed by you fops!"
The guard watches as he sees the fat monster's mouth open wide and feel that hot breath hit him, ready for death in fear as the teeth pass by his head and his entire head was inside Big Bad Jack's mouth.
Jackson growls as he slams his teeth down on the man's neck, both crushing and impaling the man's neck before ripping it right off. He watches as his squad of ghouls lumber towards him loyally, all as he chews on the man's head boredly with bone crunching heard as blood seeps from his lips.
"Nice takin' yer time here, boys!" calls out Big Jack, with bits of meat spitting out of his bloody mouth, "We still got the whole damn house to raze, and while I'm doing all the work, you bastards are dropping like flies!"
Suddenly, one of the ghouls would groan before falling on the floor, just like that.
It was quite the puzzling move, with the Valentine patriarch staring at the corpse as bewildered as his nightmarish ghoul army. Big Bad Jack looks as that dead ghoul had a stab wound on the side of his head, with blood seeping from the wound down his face.
He stomps over and stares at the dead body, sneering as he realizes that there was a vile member of the League, now stalking the vampire and he can't even sense him. His suspicions, much to his irritation, were cemented when he heard the hissing and heckling laugh of the Invisible Man.
"Aheheh…"
The Banana Slug: God! Here we go again!
I'm gonna be swamped by battle after battle, scene after scene, bopping around everywhere and I can't do ANYTHING about it!
Right now…we got Integra and Conan trying to get home, Nemo defending her ship against Moreau's Street Sharks, Seras off to protect Quatermain from Edward Cullen (hilarious), The Invisible Man and Jason Voorhees fighting against vampiric John Goodman (John Goodpire), and Alucard battling against a magical genie not played by Robin Williams!
SEE HOW TIRING AND CONVELUTED THAT CAN GET!?