Kaidan Alenko waited outside, the Vancouver night was cold as usual but that didn't stop him from sweating in his pressed suit. He adjusted his tie and checked the time on his omni-tool. Alice had a habit of being late and part of him was thankful for that at this very moment. He had no idea how he was going to break the news that Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy and the most famous human being of the age was now joining what was supposed to be a simple double date between the girl he cares for very much and his two very gay roommates who just so happen to have had a share in Shepard's galactic saving endeavors. Not to mention the pregnant asari, the fact that he used to be in love with the Commander oh and his own involvement with the Normandy. It was without a doubt one giant clusterfuck of a situation.

Alenko let out a shaky exhale of breath that trailed away in the cold night air. He should have told her about it all, Jack was right. God he can't believe Jack was right. A valet boy next to him seemed to have taken notice of his discomfort and the boy spoke up. "Is everything alright, sir?"

"Not really."

The valet thought about investigating further before he realized he really didn't give a shit and shrugged it off.

A soft accented voice made Kaidan jump. "Hello, Bear!"

Alenko turned greet his girlfriend with a hug. "Hey...you." he said awkwardly. She looked beautiful in her black dress, her red hair was tied back and her big green eyes looked up at him from her lower height.

Alice rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Well...yes."

She arched an eyebrow. "Alright. Well shall we go inside?"

"Uh... Alice, there's something I should tell you."

"What is it? Is everything alright, Kaidan?"

He nodded his head. "Yes it's just that there's been a change of plans."

"Are Miranda and Jack unable to attend?"

"No they're already inside."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Then what's troubling you, dear?"

"Two more of my friends have joined us."

"Well the more the merrier. Who are they?"

"Just someone I used to work with and...her wife. Well I worked with her wife too."

Alice crossed her arms. "Her wife? How many bloody lesbians do you know, Kaidan?"

"Well I guess an asari can't really be a lesbian, so three." then he remembered Samantha Traynor. "No wait four!"

"Let me guess they're both beautiful as well and I imagine you live with them too."

"I used to when we worked together."

Alice shook her head. "Honestly Kaidan this whole thing is very dodgy."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Alice sighed and placed a hand on his cheek. "It's alright. In fact I look forward to meeting two more of your mates."

Kaidan nervously tapped his foot. "There's something else I should tell you before we go in..."

The woman chuckled. "Are you gay as well?" she joked.

"No." He returned her laugh. "But I'm...I used to... you know what forget it. I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out soon enough." he offered her his hand. "Let's go inside."

She took his hand and kissed him on the cheek. "Good. It's bleeding cold out here."

They made their way inside the restaurant and Kaidan lead her over to their table. Shepard and Liara were sitting with their backs towards the couple as they approached but he was able to see Jack having what appeared to be a spirited discussion with a drink in hand and Miranda burying her face in her hands. As they came closer Jack's words became audible.

"All i'm saying is Cunnilingus sounds like a fancy dance, not the word for eating pussy!" Jack said before looking up and meeting Kaidan's gaze.

Miranda rose from her seat and extended her hand to Kaidan's girlfriend. "Hello, Alice."

Alice shook her hand and eyed Jack as she did. "Nice to see you again."

Then Jane rose to her feet and turned around. Alice's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she let out a high pitched squeal that made Shepard jump. "Oh my god!" Alice screamed.

Jane looked to Kaidan. "Is she alright?"

"You know Kaidan? Wait, whats going on?!" Alice stammered.

Jane extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice. I'm Shepard."

"She knows my name?!" Alice said. "Do you know who you are?"

Jane narrowed her eyes and looked to Liara who seemed to be enjoying herself as she tried her level best to not laugh. "Uh...yeah I just told you."

"Alice, this is my good friend Shepard. And her wife Liara T'Soni." Kaidan said as Jack and Miranda chuckled on the other side of the table.

Liara didn't rise from her seat on account of her pregnancy. "Wonderful to meet you." she said.

"I don't understand. How does Commander Shepard know you, Kaidan?" Alice asked.

Kaidan helped her to her seat and Jane returned to her own. "Oh are you kidding? Alenko helped me take down Saren, The Geth, The Reapers and Cerberus..." Shepard said before Jack interrupted her.

"Not the Collectors." Jack added. "That would be me and the Cheerleader's area of ass kicking expertise." she said as she roped her arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and rested one hand on one of Lawson's breasts.

"Technically the Geth were by extension the Reapers, Shepard." Liara said.

"Well I don't know about all that. But the Telly never stops talking about you, Commander. Is it true that you single handedly fought a giant robot human?"

"No." Jane said noting Alice's disappointment. "Well not single handedly." she admitted.

"You should tell her about the big ass worm we killed on Tuchanka." Jack said.

"I'm particularly fond of the rather large Yahg I seem to recall you punching, Shepard." Liara chimed in.

Jane glared at her wife and Liara chuckled. "Let's not discuss me. We're here for Kaidan tonight. And Alenko kicked more than his fair share of Reaper ass on the Normandy."

Kaidan tried not to look at the way Alice was staring at him with utter amazement. "You're giving me too much credit, Shepard. You, Liara, Garrus, Tali and everyone else did much more than I ever did."

Shepard smiled, she figured embellishing Alenko's time on the Normandy would sit well with Alice. "Oh come on, Kaidan. No need to be modest here. You're a Council Spectre!"

"Former Council Spectre." Kaidan corrected her. "Seeing as the promotion was given to me by the wars biggest traitor it didn't seem right to continue on after the war."

Alice's eyes were as big as the moon as she looked to her boyfriend. "Sweetie, you really did all those things?"

"No. It was all Shepard and almost always Liara and Garrus. I was just along for the ride." He said. "Where is Garrus by the way?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"I believe he and Tali are engaged in some sort of long distance relationship while he's still on Palavan working for the Primarch and she's working with the Migrant Fleet over Rannoch." Liara answered. "Not that I was spying on them or anything."

"I thought you just worked behind a desk at Alliance HQ." Alice said to Kaidan.

"I do. Along with Miranda and Jack."

"Well technically you don't work with us." Miranda said. "Jack and I oversee..."

"Blah blah!" Jack interrupted. "Babe, nobody wants to talk about boring ass work."

Miranda glared at her lover. "Jack, why must you be so childish?"

The convict chuckled. "Because I know it turns you on."Miranda knew it was true but she wasn't going to encourage such behavior by admitting it. Jane chuckled and finished her first glass of whiskey while she watched Jack polish off her second. "You gonna be playing catch up all night, Commander?" Jack challenged.

Miranda sat up. "It's not a race..." then she remembered to display her relationship with Jack. "sweetheart." she added awkwardly.

Shepard called the waiter over and took the bottle from him before thanking and dismissing him politely. "I'm surprised you'd be saying that, Miranda. Considering a certain incident where I seem to recall you killing half a bottle of Zaeed's whiskey in about ten seconds by yourself." she said as she poured herself and Jack a fresh glass.

Jack laughed. "Holy shit! I forgot about that!"

"I'm not surprised, I don't remember much of that night myself." Miranda said with both shame and a little pride.

Shepard grinned. "So Alice, why don't you tell us how you and Kaidan met."

Alice took hold of Kaidan's hand. "Oh well I work at the caff just a block down from the Alliance headquarters and one day Kaidan came in to grab a cup of coffee and I knew right away that he was the one. Isn't that just the cutest?" she asked glaring at Liara.

"Um...yes." Liara said awkwardly. "The cutest." she repeated.

"That's some fairy tale shit right there." Jack chuckled and Miranda elbowed her below the table.

Alice crossed her arms and glared at Jack. "Well i'd love to hear how you and Miranda met since you two seem to be so in love."

"Oh we really don't need to go in to that boring old story." Miranda said trying to steer Jack clear of recounting the tale.

"No no, babe. The lady wants to know how we met. I met Miranda after she and Shepard helped me break out of cryo solitary confinement on a high security prison ship before I single handily fought my way through four dozen armed guards using nothing but biotics and my bare hands."

"Bollicks!" Alice said.

"Oh did I leave out the part where It was love at first sight?" the convict teased.

"So what is this I hear about a new Blasto vid." Liara said trying to change the subject.

"So she's a criminal as well?" Alice asked Kaidan.

"Well she served her time." Alenko said in her defense. "Sort of..."

"Yeah you know Liara, I hear that new Blasto Vid is great. I think he's traveling through time in this one. Anybody like Blasto?" Shepard said before taking a large swig of her whiskey.

"Hey just cause I did stupid shit in the past doesn't make you any better than me!" Jack spat.

"We need to go to the ladies room, Jack." Miranda said and dragged her lover away from the table.

Miranda lead Jack into the ladies room and crossed her arms as she shot her the look Jack knew all to well. "What?" Jack asked.

"Jack, You're not exactly making a better second impression."

"She's a bitch, Cheerleader. Am I wrong?"

Miranda sighed. "We don't have to like her. I shouldn't have to remind you how good Kaidan has been to both of us. Perhaps you should return the favor."

Jack huffed. "This is bullshit. As far as i'm concerned i'm looking out for Alenko."

"Well you're not. You're being selfish."

The convict's tone softened. "I'm sorry, Miranda." She paused. "Maybe you're...right."

Lawson's eyes widened. Jack never admitted that she was wrong, even to her. "It's alright, Jack. I shouldn't have yelled, I'm not your mother."

"I fucking hope so." Jack joked and Miranda laughed. They both turned when Shepard came barreling into the ladies room still holding her glass of whiskey which she downed instantly.

"Hello, Commander." Miranda greeted her. "Need a break?"

Jane groaned. "Alice just asked Liara if asari can get pregnant from joining with a Varren."

Jack arched her eyebrow. "Wait...can they?"

"I don't know, Jack!"

"Hardly seems like an appropriate topic for dinner. Perhaps she's nervous." Miranda said.

"I guess. Hey I don't really watch the news vids, do they really talk about me that much? Alice seems to think i'm like Captain Cosmic or something."

"You are a hero, Shepard. A bloody icon." Miranda reminded her. "People won't soon forget what you did."

Jack crossed her inked arms. "Yeah but most of the shit they say about you these days is total bull. Some dumbass group even thinks you're a hoax made up by the Alliance to make humans look good."

Shepard sighed. "Great."

"We even had a reporter from Westerlund news trying to get us to do an interview about you. Well before Jack threw him into the Vancouver Harbour."

The convict shrugged. "And I'd do it again. Screw that guy."

"I guess we better get back out there before Alice drives Liara nuts." Shepard said.

"Whatever." Jack mumbled and left her and Miranda alone as she went to return to the table.

Jane stopped Miranda with her arm. "Before I forget, I need to talk with you in private later."

Miranda arched an eyebrow. "Everything alright, Shepard?"

"Now's not the time." Jane smiled and decided to lighten the mood before Miranda got concerned. "I've missed you, Miranda. You and Jack have changed so much. I'm liking the new you. I don't think I've ever seen you so happy. Or Jack that happy."

Miranda smiled. "I am happy. Perhaps we can talk when this train wreck is over."

Jane cringed. "Yeah let's go."

Shepard followed Miranda back to her seat and she grew closer she could hear her wife's voice as she spoke to Alice. "No they do not flop around! Goddess, they are semi-flexible cartilage based scalp-crests that grow into shape. And I have never nor will I ever attempt to mate with a varren!"

Jane sat back down and kissed Liara on the cheek. "So what are we all eating?" Miranda asked.

"Steak." Shepard, Jack and Kaidan all said at the same time.

Alice looked to Alenko. "You lot certainly seem to have much in common." she said with a hint of spite. Shepard and Liara shared a glance before Jane poured a third glass of whiskey and taking a few large gulps not caring when she felt her head get a little fuzzy. Jack glared at Alice with dead eyes, not wanting to upset Miranda by speaking her mind. "So Miranda..."

Miranda pried her eyes away from the menu. "Yes?"

"How long have you and Jack been together?" Alice asked.

"Well it will be two years this November. Isn't that right, honey?" the nicknames did not come naturally to Miranda and they sounded about as unconvincing to her as they did to everyone else.

Jack gulped down another glass and mercifully felt herself getting drunk before her temper go the better of her. "Yeah. But we've been screwing for longer than that."

Miranda didn't bother denying it. "Yes, that's true as well." Perhaps the unfiltered truth would get Alice to back off before Miranda herself lost her temper.

Alice shrugged and focused back on the menu. "Interesting."

Lawson narrowed her eyes and begged herself to not ask the question that was burning in her head before she lost the battle. "How so?" she asked sharply.

"How so what, love?" Alice asked.

"How exactly is that interesting?"

"Oh nothing."

Miranda reached over and took Jack's whiskey to take a sip. "You don't think me and Jack are together?"

"I didn't say that."

"No go on say it." Miranda said and a smile spread across Jack's face when she heard how pissed her girlfriend was getting.

"It's just you're so pretty and professional and living with Kaidan. It seems a tad far-fetched that you'd be dating someone like...her."

Jack balled her fists but Miranda spoke before her. "Excuse me?!"

"Okay let's calm down." Kaidan tried to interject.

Liara and Shepard both awkwardly buried their heads in their menus. Miranda chuckled and opened her mouth to give Alice a piece of her mind before Jack cut off her words with her lips and Alice's along with everyone else's attention was for a moment completely set on the two women.

The convict shoved her tongue inside Lawson's mouth and squeezed her breasts through Miranda's dress while they both moaned hungrily. Jack figured a kiss like this would be proof enough for Alice so she smiled at the red haired woman when she pulled her lips away causing Miranda to whimper and press her legs together. An action Jack had long ago learned meant she made her girlfriend wet. But Jack frowned when Alice didn't look convinced.

Alice simply turned to Shepard and Liara. "So what was it like working with Kaidan?"

"When I first came aboard the Normandy I thought Kaidan might make me seem a bit unnecessary. I was just a archeologist. But he was very welcoming and a good friend to have." Liara said.

"What about you, Commander?"

Jane smiled. "Kaidan's a damn good solider and I trust him with my life. But he sure was persistent back then."

Kaidan's heart raced when he sensed where this was going. "Jack, why don't you tell us about the time you blew up that hanar relic."

But Alice ignored him. "Persistent? How so?"

Shepard chuckled. "Oh he must have told me he was in love with me about three or four times. Isn't that right, Kaidan?"

Alice's eyes widened and Kaidan's face grew red. "You're in love with her?!"

Jane now realized that was something she probably shouldn't have said. "Actually I think I was confusing Kaidan with James." She turned to Liara. "Is it hot in here?"

"Jack, ladies room." Miranda said and dragged her lover away for a second time.

Notes- Okay that was only part 1 of the date. Part 2 will be coming very soon. Hope you enjoyed it.