Disclaimer: I don't own Saint Seiya characters!

Énato epeisódio:

The emotions

It was really cold evening, with the moonlight spreading around the lonely hut in the middle of Siberia. The cool wind, filled with the small crystals of ice was trying stubbornly to break inside and get rid of the warm fire, ranging in the fireplace. In some way the Siberian wind succeeded; Camus had to use the three thick blankets in order to stop all the chills of his body. But sometimes even that didn't help and the Aquarius time to time was drinking the hot tea to warm himself.

This evening he was sitting on the soft sofa, in the front of the fireplace, far, far away from France, and far, far away from the hot Sanctuary, trying to read a new book he got while his 'holidays' in his homeland country. Oh he really tried to do that, his entire mind was trying to focus on the letters, but after a long while he had to admit, that it was pointless. Like yesterday. And like two days ago… And like many, many days before. He couldn't concentrate on the words; he caught himself on reading the same sentences a few times without realizing it. His thoughts weren't with him right now. They were in the Sanctuary, with Milo…

Knock, knock…

Camus looked at the door, surprised. Who wanted to visit him at the late evening, when darkness covered everything long time ago? And while that cold weather? Who was stupid enough to leave warm house and came here when outside was so windy?

The Aquarius flinched, remembering the night when he met his disciple, Isaac. It was almost the same situation like then; cold, windy day, and he, Camus was sitting on the same couch, reading his book and thinking about Milo. And the sound of knocking was weak like then.

Knock, knock…

Camus gulped. He didn't want anyone more as his student; he had enough experiences with Isaac and Hyoga years ago. Then what should he do? If he wouldn't open, then that someone probably would leave him and go away, but the weather was harsh this evening, and what if that person would die frozen by the wind in the middle of Siberia? He could open the door, and treat his visitors well, but also he didn't have to agree with training another brat, who wanted to be the Saint of Athena, right?

Knock, knock…

Camus threw away the three layers of the warm blanket, put his book on the small table and went to the door. He hesitated for a while, but when he saw in his mind the small, almost frozen body of the Isaac he caught the handle and opened the door.

He managed to see only blue curls sticking out from under a woolen cap, and then something soft, and fluffy hit him with soundless impact and encircled tightly around him something also soft.

"Camus, you moron!" he heard desperate voice, the voice he was missing the whole time. "How could you think, that you are the burden for me?!"

"Milo…?"

"Promise me, you will never do that again!"

The cold wind broke into the hut, making Camus to chill uncontrollably. He pulled his friend inside, and somehow managed to close the door, still in tight and fluffy hug of Milo.

"Milo, how…?"

The Scorpio tightened his hug, almost crushing Camus' ribs.

"Mu told me finally, what was in your stupid head, idiot. I took the permission for leaving the Sanctuary and Mu teleported me here."

Camus tried to sigh, but the tight hug of his friend didn't allow him to do that.

"Milo, you are suffocating me… I can't breathe…"

The Scorpio let him go quickly.

"Sorry, Camus…" he said, looking into the dark blue eyes. "Ugh! I can't!"

And he hugged Camus again, but this time gentler. The Aquarius sighed quietly, but he returned the hug, hiding his face into Milo's blue curls. He inhaled the scent of it, the scent he missed so much.

"Never, never do that again!" whispered Milo into his ear.

"I won't, Milo, but for the Athena's name, just stop crushing my bones, put off these fluffy things of you, and sit already!" sighed Camus with the resignation.

Milo laughed happily, and let Camus go finally. Then he took of his woolen cap, showing all of his curls and red, frost face.

"How long have you been outdoor, Milo? You seemed to be in real cool," said Camus, touching Milo's red cheek and then his also red hands. "Oh, Goddess, you are so cold!"

"You know, Mu didn't know exactly, where is your hut, so we teleported a few miles from here…"

"A few miles?" asked Camus almost angrily. He unzipped Milo's coat and took off the cold cloth of his friend really brutally. "Come!" he pulled Milo deeper inside his hut and forced him to sit as close the fireplace as it was possible without putting him in the fire.

"Camus, what…?"

"You could get sick, you know? Pneumonia or something worst!" murmured Camus, throwing at his friend three blankets, and heading to his small kitchen. "Sit there and wait!"

Camus sighed with resignation. How Milo could be so reckless? For a person who is not hardened by the harsh weather of Siberia just some walk in that cold wind could end badly. Why he risked so much to get to this hut?

The answer was obvious, but Camus didn't want to admit it. He was still too confused to believe that Milo just appeared in the front of him like nothing happened between them. Like Camus didn't treat him so rough lately…

He took the steaming cup with the bronze, thick liquid and entered his living room. Milo was sitting in the front of the fireplace, where he was left, covered by all three blankets, and humming some melody under his still red nose. He seemed to be really happy, like he got the most precious gift from the life.

Camus stopped slowly, looking at his friend and feeling much more confused that a minute ago. His heart was really heavy, his thought were ranging inside his head, almost tearing his soul apart. He tried to fix the two feelings but he didn't know how to do that. The Aquarius always believed that the Saint should be cool-headed, and his feelings shouldn't interfere with the duty of the Athena's warrior. For him someone who was showing his soul to the other people was just weak, like an unarmed baby. The Saint of Athena should control his very actions with the mind not the heart. But at that moment, looking at his only friend, looking at the innocent face of Milo, he wanted to just throw away that warm cup he was holding, run to Milo and hug him tightly.

'Then what are you waiting for? Do that.'

Camus twitched, hearing his master's voice inside his troubled mind. He shook rapidly his head, trying to get rid of this mare and approached his friend. Milo looked at him with the shining eyes of kid, who right now was tearing apart the paper from his the most desired gift in his whole life.

"Drink it," said the Aquarius, giving him the cup with the bronze liquid, and sitting beside Milo. "It is the hot chocolate. It should warm you a little bit."

Milo smiled widely and took the first, careful sip. The aquamarine haired Saint return that gesture, thinking that soon he wouldn't be able to hold himself and he would hug his friend. It was really hard for him to reconcile the vision of cool-headed Saint he believed the whole life with his silly desire toward the Scorpio.

'I think you forgot what I told you about feelings, Camus.' The voice of Camus master echoed again inside his confused mind.

Did he? It is true, that many years ago, just at the beginning of his training Camus was told what feelings should be for the Saint. But he was small and still amazed by his upcoming future, that he wasn't paying the proper attention at the words of his new guardian. And he just created his own opinion about emotions. And now that opinion was fighting with his heart.

Milo winked at him, emptying the cup of the chocolate. He took off one of the three layers of blanket and covered carefully his friend with it. When his already warm hand touched accidentally the chin of the Aquarius, Camus got filled by unexpected feeling of the contentment. His desire to hug Milo got worse.

'Just do that.'

Camus sighed, quietly. 'What his teacher said back then? What was that?' He placed his fingers on his temples, massaging them slowly.

"What's wrong, Camus?" asked Milo, seeing the fierce face of his friend.

"Actually… Nothing. I'm trying to remember something, Milo."

The Scorpio took away his hand from Camus, sill observing him and drinking…

…and drinking his hot milk, Camus was observing his tall teacher, who just entered the room and sat vis-à-vis the little boy.

"I wanna talk about something with you, Camus," said the Saint with the serious expression on his face. "Probably it is too early for that, but you seem to be clever, so I think we can try."

Little Camus blinked a few times, looking inside the cold eyes of his teacher, wondering what he would tell him right now.

"We will talk about emotions."

"About emotions? Why?"

"Because they are important thing in being the Saint of Athena."

"I though that the important thing in being the Saint is a powerful cosmo. If I don't have it then I can't be the Saint. Isn't it right, master?"

"Oh, that is just the fundamental thing, but not the only important thing. It is like the loyalty. You can be the Saint but if you are not loyal to Athena then are you the real Saint of her?"

Camus shook his head.

"Of course not. If I'm becoming the Saint of Athena being not loyal to her then there is no point of the training," said Camus. "I'm just some warrior, who took the Cloth for improper reason."

"Yes, you can say that. Now I wanna tell you about emotions. But remember, what I'm gonna say is just my opinion. In your life you will see by yourself, what the emotions are for Saint. Because I'm your teacher, then you will listen to what I gonna tell you, but every of the Saints are looking at that issue by their own way. Now I just wanna guide you safe for the years you will be training. In the future you could just look at emotions in a different way than me"

Camus looked at his master above the cup of the hot milk, really curious about the next lesson of the theory.

"I may be considered by you as a cool-headed Saint without any emotions. It is true in a some way, because all the Saints should control their thoughts and emotions. It is important to keep cool in the dangerous situation. The situation, when the strong bond with some feeling is stopping your progress is also unacceptable."

"What do you mean, master?"

"Do you remember the day, when you were found by Aiolos? He told me, that you seemed to be frightened of the people around you. But you didn't let that emotion took over your entire mind, and you went with the young Greek, who offered you the better future. If you wouldn't do that because of your feelings, then you would be still in the France, living in that poorhouse as an ordinary child. Understood?"

Camus nodded. The fear of the people could stop his progress, so he wouldn't become the Saint… Simple…?

"But remember, Camus, I'm not telling you, that you had to get rid of all your emotions. You can be afraid of people, and sometimes you can show it, but that shouldn't affect your duty as a Saint."

"I'm not sure if I understand it, teacher. So can I be afraid or not?"

"Of course you can. You can fear something; you can love someone or hate him. But if you are scared of the storm outside, and you won't go train because of that, then it is weakness. Storm is keeping you from progressing. You should face it, not withdraw from it. If you love someone, then love him, but if that person says to you 'quit of being the Saint and stay with me, you and your entire will' then say 'no'. Just keep your head calm, face your fear, but also live."

The Saint looked at his young disciple, that was drinking the hot milk.

"Though right now you don't understand it well. But someday you will. And remember, sometimes it is right decision to show someone your soul a little. But you have to trust that person in every way to do that. I think that's all for today. "

Camus shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. Now he remembered that talk between them, but he just got much more confused that minute ago. What should he do? He was always so cold to his friend, he never learned how to share his feelings, and his mind was so dizzy, and he didn't know what to do right now…

But he missed Milo so much, and his whole body wanted just to touch him, to hug him tightly.

"Did you remember?" asked Milo, looking at his friend with the glad eyes.

"A little…" answered the Aquarius hesitantly.

Milo smiled to him and stroked gently his long, aquamarine hair. Camus sighed, defeated, threw away the blanket from him, stretched his body and hugged Milo tightly.

"Camus, what…?"

"It is hard for me to say, but sorry Milo. Sorry for my stupidity. I thought it would be better for you if you don't have such an emotionless friend like me, and instead of face it I just run away…"

Milo also encircled his arms around Camus' body, smiling widely.

"Oh Goddess, it is really my Camus?" he joked.

"I was stupid, really stupid and I won't do that never again."

"It is not only your fault, Camus. I said something terrible to you. But I regret it. I just don't know what possessed me back then."

"But it was the true what you said. Sometimes I was looking at you like on a big silly child. And I'm not surprised, that you were tired of that."

"Even so, I shouldn't say this just like that. You were so afraid that Athena wouldn't forgive you, that Shaka wouldn't forgive you, and the first day you were alive again, your friend told you so horrible things. It wasn't the best moment to do that."

"Milo, listen…"

"No, Camus. You listen to me. It is true, that sometimes I'm really tired of your emotionless. But also I know what you think about feelings and strong bonds. I'm aware of that very well. And sometimes I just only have the hope that you will talk to me like with friend, not just like with the brother-in-arms."

Milo stroked gently the aquamarine hair of his friend, feeling like that weight from his chest was slowly disappearing.

"Camus, I'm really tired sometimes of waiting for you, for your feelings, but there is no way I would end our friendship just because of that. Because I have the hope, that someday you will show me your true soul."

The Aquarius blinked a few times to clear his vision. Why, for the Athena's name, was he crying now?

"Milo, don't think that I will change."

"I don't want you to change yourself, Camus. I like you the way you are. But it would be nice if sometimes I could feel that I'm friend for you, not just another Gold Saint you met in your life. I'm not telling you that you have to show your emotions to everyone. Just for me. We are friends, after all."

The Scorpio tightened his hug around Camus, and the aquamarine-haired Saint lost his balance with his stretched body. Both of them knocked over and landed on the warm carpet in the front of the fireplace. Milo laughed, but didn't free Camus from his embrace.

"Yes, Milo, we are friends. And sorry for my stupidity one more time," whispered Camus into blue curls.

Camus stretched his body with a wide yawn. Finally this full of the surprises day was ending, and he could get to his bed and go to sleep. He had to think over many things that happened today, and he knew it wouldn't be so easy. It was still unbelievable for him that Milo came to his hut and now was sleeping in the room beside him like, in the fact, nothing awful happened between them. Not long ago they were lying in the front of the fireplace, hugging each other all the time, saying the words of apology and feeling that everything was in the right place again. It was almost magical evening, Milo cried a few times, repeating again and again 'Don't do that again, moron', and even Camus shed a few tears, hearing this plea from his only friend he ever had.

The young Aquarius stretched one more time and took off his warm clothes, and shivering in the Siberian cold, he dressed into his old trousers, woolen leg-warmers and his favorite, soft sweatshirt. He yawned widely, and slipped under the red blanket, feeling the nice softness of his pillow. Then he felt really tired, even if he didn't do anything exhausted since a few days. But it was certain for him, from where this weariness come from. It was the very first time for him, when he just said so many words about his soul and emotions. It was the reason, why he was mentally tired. For someone like him, who never learned how to share his emotions with other person, this experience was too much for a one day. Too fast…

He almost fell asleep, thinking about his stupid emotionless toward his friend, when he felt like something slipped under his blanket. Two muscular arms hugged him from behind, the warm body pressed against his back.

"Milo!" Camus sighed with the irritation. "What are you doing, if may I ask?"

The Scorpio pressed his body harder against Camus' back, hiding his face into the long, aquamarine hair of his friend.

"That room you gave me is too empty for me," Milo whispered into the wisps of the Aquarius' hair. "And it is so cold…"

"So?"

"So I felt lonely and came here." Milo tightened his hug, almost breaking Camus' ribs. The aquamarine-haired Saint though that if Milo would hug him so tightly then soon he would really broke all of his ribs. "It is much warmer in your bed…"

Camus sighed again, giving up. When something stuck into Milo's head, then no one could change his mind.

"Not as warm as it could be…" added the Scorpio with the slight laugh, "but it is acceptable."

"Milo, you should…" started Camus, trying to be harsh like always, but he couldn't. He felt… He felt something he never felt before… Some kind of warmth inside his body, mixed with the silly thought he always was avoiding…

"Yes, I know. But it is so nice to have you in my arms finally, Camus."

Silence for a moment. The Aquarius took a really deep breath, trying to stop all shivers that passed through his mind and body.

"Milo…"

"I know that too. 'Stop to be childish', right?"

Camus placed his long fingers on Milo's hand, stroking his warm skin.

"Milo… It is nice to be in your arms too."

The Scorpio chuckled happily, not saying anything more. Soon Camus heard his calm, steady breath, when Milo finally fell asleep. The aquamarine-haired Saint smiled widely, thinking a little longer, and after a while he fell into the Morpheus' embrace too.