Author's notes: thanks so much to everyone who is supporting this story with reviews and follows. I appreciate every one.
Lisbon is back at headquarters. The atmosphere is oppressive as everyone struggles to come to terms with the loss of their friend and colleague. She acknowledged the rest of her team and then went into her office. She switched the light on, then turned it immediately off again as the brightness assaulted her senses. She is sitting in the dark, except for the glow of the computer screen, waiting for Detective Needham to arrive with the video from the store, and an update on the investigation. She's been going over everything that Van Pelt has dug up about and Volker. Nothing much has penetrated the fog but it's stopped her from thinking about Jane - almost.
There's a knock at the door and Lisbon's eyes look to the door as Tom Needham walks in. She stands up.
"Let's go in to the bullpen so everyone can watch."
"Are you sure you want to do this. It happens off camera but it's still upsetting."
"I'm not sure but I know I have to."
Needham turns and heads to the bullpen. Lisbon takes a deep breath and follows. As she watches the images she's constantly telling herself that this is just another case, but Jane standing in the middle of the store with a gun at his back, and a bomb around his waist, exposes the lie. The thieves are now leaving the store, Lisbon has to restrain herself from reaching out and freezing the tape on the last sighting of Jane. Despite bracing themselves every agent jumps as the explosion is heard and the window blows out. Lisbon sits down, she is somehow holding herself together and asks Needham about any forensic evidence yet. At that moment Needhams phone rings. When he hangs up he looks at Lisbon.
"What?"
"CSI have found evidence of human remains."
"Is it Jane's"
"It's too early to know."
Jane wakes up sweating profusely, his heart is beating wildly, the sound of the bomb, exploding in his dream, is ringing in his ears. Jane had climbed back into the van and it was moving off when the explosion shook the van. His captors had laughed at his reaction and so he'd concentrated on keeping his nerves under control, but once he was back in his cell and alone, he'd started to shake so badly, he feared he'd never stop. Finally he had succumbed to exhaustion. He takes deep breaths and recites parts of Shakespeare's plays to rid himself of the nightmare. As he calms he's reminded of the feeling that he's forgotten something, it was something that he saw as he was about to climb into the van. His memory palace is failing him as if the explosion had interrupted the filing system. He stares up at the patch of damp on the ceiling, that he's decided looks like an elephant, as he sorts through the disorder, discarding that which is unimportant knowing that somewhere underneath the pile of debris is something vital, something that will help him figure out what's going on.
Lisbon's had enough of this day but sleep just isn't coming. She climbs out of bed for the third time. She heads to the kitchen and makes herself a hot drink and cradles it in her hands as she looks out the window. She's standing in the same apartment that she's lived in ever since she moved to Sacramento, and yet, it feels different. She feels like a stranger in her own world. Looking out the window, the corner of her street is visible and a block around that corner is where Jane's life ended and her world tipped and toppled into a new universe. She realises she will have to move. She doesn't want to live this close. She needs unfamiliar streets, without memories. She will have to throw out the chair where she sat when Jane hypnotised her, anything and everything he ever touched or commented on. She could just walk out now, leave everything behind and start anew. Work is full of memories that she will have to deal with, home will be her memory free place. She realises she doesn't want her drink anymore, she takes it into the kitchen and empties the remaining contents in to the sink and drops the cup into the trash. She hears it hit something solid and it breaks. She stares at the pieces, counting the broken fragments. She closes her eyes as each piece morphs into Jane. She lets the lid slam shut and goes into her bedroom. She sits on her bed, holding her cross she prays for the fourth time tonight and then gets under the covers to stare at the ceiling as sleep evades her minute by hour.
Jane's annoyed as his musings are interrupted by the door opening and two of his captors entering the room. He was almost there... he doesn't move as the men open his cell. Just one more moment and he will have it... he feels hands upon him and they drag him up from the floor, they pull his arms behind him and his wrists are encased in handcuffs...someone I saw...deep in thought he doesn't notice that there is no blindfold placed before leading him out of the room. Someone I have seen before...literally bumped into...as he is being tied to a chair he remembers...Lisbon!
A fist crashes in to his face and he feels blood in his mouth.
"You do not speak Mr. Jane."
Jane hadn't realised he'd said it out loud, but doesn't heed the warning as he wants answers.
"What do you want with Lisbon?"
The second strikes knocks the chair to the floor. His head is spinning with the force of the blow and hitting the floor. The chair is put back on his feet. The talkative one grabs his collar and through his haze he hears him say.
"We don't know this Lisbon."
"You're working for someone else."
"That's none of your business Mr. Jane. Your time with us is almost finished. Sleep well."
With those final words Jane is pummelled into unconsciousness.
Lisbon finally fell asleep an hour before her alarm went off. Her first port of call is the coffee pot. She resumes her spot at the window from the night before. At first she wonders if she's dreaming as she almost drops her cup. She grabs her phone off the table and calls Cho as she heads out the door. When Cho picks up he hears a frantic Lisbon his ear.
"Cho Jane's car is outside my apartment."
She races out to the street. As she gets close she see golden curls and yanks at the door. To her surprise it opens and she stumbles back with it. Then she drops to her knees at the sight of the battered, unconscious Jane. She touches him gently and speaks his name trying to rouse him. He groans and blinks open his eyes, but no immediate recognition. She becomes aware of another sound and her eyes travel down Jane's body and rests in horror at the sight of a bomb fastened to Jane's waist. She sees a thin cord that leads to the door and knows that she activated it when she opened the door. Timer staring up at her reads 45 mins.