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Instinct
It was wrong. His consciousness was wrong. It was blurry and he couldn't do anything on his own will. He barely could think. He felt like something forced his mind, his soul to be in this state, when only his consciousness worked properly in the complete darkness. He didn't want that, but every time he tried to do something by his own, the pain was falling on his senses, shouting him down. Sometimes a melodic voice was speaking to him, ringing inside his eyes, and telling him to be easy, that nothing wrong could happen to him, and soon he would feel the happiness. Soon he would be happy, without any worries, without problems. That he would live with love for the rest of his life…
But… Wasn't his life full of love already? Wasn't his life wonderful, happy? Didn't he have his beloved… His beloved… He knew he had someone he loved already… Why he couldn't remember the name…?
Oh, no, actually it wasn't like he couldn't remember. It was more like he wasn't allowed to think it. Someone was insistently forcing his mind to not think about him. Trying to tell him that he wasn't important right now. Every time he tried to call this name, the pain was falling on his mind and body. Every single time.
It was wrong. He knew it was wrong. He didn't want to forget or to not think about him. He was his life, his lover, his universe.
Oh, it was so wrong. It was wrong to even be here, in this nothingness. He remembered quite well the moment when he fell asleep in the arms of him, but then, the darkness changed and he couldn't open his eyes again. He couldn't move, couldn't talk. What happened to him? Why he couldn't even think about his beloved one? How he got there? From his Temple? Who had taken him away? And why? What this someone planned to do to him? Torture him? Use as a hostage?
His all memories about the Sanctuary were blurry to the point he couldn't even say the names of his fellows. Like they were erased completely, blocked from his abilities of thinking. Sealed in a dark corner of his mind. He couldn't even call the picture of his Temple, of Athena's Sacred Statue, or the coliseum, where he spent so much time in his whole life. It was so mysterious that he couldn't even comprehend all of these. He knew somehow the cosmo surrounding him, but where he met it? Because it was certain that not so long time ago he encountered it in some corner of the world.
Everything seemed to be just a bad dream, but even if he wanted to wake up, he couldn't. This nightmare didn't want to let him go to the world of the reality.
He had no idea how long he had been silenced there, in this darkness, but for him it seemed almost eternity before he heard a voice he knew and he loved, a voice of his lover. He wanted to feel happy, but again someone stopped him. And the pain that fell on him… firstly it had been slight, but after a few moments… It almost killed him. He couldn't even defend himself from this suffer, his mind was defenseless against the force of someone else.
"I have no idea who Milo is…" the voice of his beloved said.
Why? Why he said that? He didn't remember? How it could be? They swear each other the eternal love. And now he couldn't remember?
But this seemed so false! These words sounded really false! Like it wasn't him who said them…
"I don't remember Milo… I never had a lover…"
Oh, why he said that again?
Why, Ca…!
And pain again, falling at his mind and body, pain so enormous that even his Scarlet Needle couldn't be compared to this. Pain he never felt before, something beyond his imagination. Did this pain even exist on this world?
This name meant pain. Every time he wanted to think about it, it hurt. This name was wrong, it was bad to think, to call it. This name brought him pain, so he should never call it again.
"That's right, my Milo…" said beautiful voice, coming out from the darkness. "This name is bad. It's name of a man who hurt you painfully."
Next second he opened his eyes. Or maybe they were only some images in his blurry memory? Images of the past, of him, of events he lived through long time ago…
It was him. Again in the dark Cloth of Aquarius, a Warrior of the enemy, traitor who for the endless life swore to bring the head of Athena. He and his two companions were standing on the Sacred Hill, with Athena in the front of them. And he had dagger in his hands; dagger pointed the Athena's throat. And his smile was awful, victorious. Oh, of course, they won after all. He and his fellows killed Gold Saint, and defeated the last, remaining defense and now could take Athena's life. Oh, how he hated this smile.
But… He felt it was wrong. It wasn't him, who held this dagger, right? Wasn't it the other one? And wasn't it Athena, who pierced her own throat by her own hands…?
Wrong, it was wrong! Pain and the name. Dagger, blood, Athena. Everything wrong!
And then it was France. He and she. Standing on the street. He, Milo, was hidden behind other humans, but could see them clearly. He hugged her and then… They started to kiss passionately, linking their lips, linking their hands. Being so close and looking really happy.
"We will be always together… I never loved someone so much like you…" said his beloved.
And they walked away, holding each other's hand, leaving him shocked and depressed.
No, it couldn't be!
Pain, again pain. This person meant pain. His same meant pain. Suffering; he was suffering and would suffer much more with this Saint.
"Yes, you will suffer with him. Stay with me. I will love you forever," said the delicate, woman's voice.
Pain; so much pain only with this name? Was it always so painful? He didn't want that!
He… He was gone…
Camus looked into the furious eyes of Milo. He never saw his lover in such a state. It was like his humanity disappeared, like only wild beast remained inside the body that not so long time ago belonged to the Scorpio Saint of Athena.
Was it… Was it the state Milo had told him already? Was he seeing this wild Milo, who appeared every time Milo couldn't bear the situation?
So, why right now? Why his lover looked like he wanted to kill him? After all Camus came here to help… to bring him back…
"Milo…" he started hesitantly, wondering why?
Milo snorted under his nose and with this awful happiness inside his eyes, he attacked.
For a long while Camus was so surprised by this attack that it had to pass a few long seconds before he realized that the poisoned needle missed him about millimeters.
He couldn't believe that his beloved Milo attacked him without the hesitation. Like he really wanted to kill him. Like it wasn't his Milo, like this monster forgot Aquarius' face. It was too strange, too unnatural! He knew that Milo had such a 'wild side' of his soul, but he never expected his Milo to attack him so heartlessly. With hatred.
"Milo, what are you doing?" he asked, looking into the furious, blue eyes of the Scorpio. "What happened…?"
He saw the red flash and finally Milo's poisoned sting hit his arm.
Camus with his all mighty held the scream in his mouth. It wasn't the first time he experienced the Scarlet Needle. Some time ago, as a pawn of Hades, in the front of Twin Sala, Milo many times hit him with his needle. It hurt back then, but… It couldn't be compared to this pain. He never felt something like that! Burning pain of his body with only one strike, pain filled with hatred, the desire to kill. The pure strength of a man, who wanted to see a blood.
Was it the true side of his Milo? This wild monster? Was it the part of his soul, kept in secret for the whole time? Could it end the same like with Saga? Could Milo be swallowed by this completely, could he lost his senses and turn into such a… being? Killing only to comfort himself, to see the blood and dying people. To cause the pain to others and being happy to se the desperation and suffering in the eyes of victim? Could Milo end like that?
"This is your love, little Saint of Athena," Lady Aphrodite almost sang, looking at the scene in the front of her beautiful eyes. "Face your refractoriness and bow you head in the front of my power, human," she added with a smile.
"You… did something to him, didn't you?" asked Lady Athena, looking at the other Goddess with a little frightened eyes.
The Goddess of Beauty laughed melodically.
"I only showed him how he would suffer with your little human and what happiness was waiting for him here."
"You are cruel! You said you would not interfere!" Athena gasped, watching as two of her Saints were killing each other.
"No. I said you can't interfere. It wouldn't be fun at all, right? Beside we are Gods. How it would look if I would be defeated by a mere human?" answered Lady Aphrodite, with a smile on her lips, feeling the hatred, that was coming from her new pet. She couldn't say she liked hatred, and definitely she disliked this strange form of her Milo, but if it could keep this wonderful man beside her, any sacrifice was worth of it.
Camus quickly looked at the cruel Goddess. What she did to his Milo? Why he was behaving like that?
He couldn't even concentrate on her long enough, because Milo was striking him again and again. He tried to dodge all fo the poisonous hits, but it wasn't such a simple thing. Milo was one of the fastest Gold Saints in the whole Sanctuary, and it seemed that his wild self increased this speed.
Why Milo acted like that? What Lady Aphrodite did to him? That… this wild self should show himself only when Milo's mind was in danger, only when something was too painful for him to endure the fight. Was it the reason? Was Milo fighting a fight that could hurt his soul? Or maybe Aphrodite forced him into this fight and Milo couldn't bear it? And he pushed this self to lead the battle? Was Milo's instinct of survival so strong?
And… Could it be… Could Milo be back to normal now…? If Aphrodite put him under some trance, or some spell, could it be broken? What he should do then?
"Milo… Milo, wake up!" he started to his lover. The seventh strike hit his leg, immobilizing him for a long while. This pain he felt was just unbelievable. How human could be able to feel it? How the Scorpio was able to send such a poison, filled with the pure hatred.
Was it the original power of the Scorpio Saint…?
"Milo, you are stronger than this! Don't let yourself to be swallowed!" he tried again.
The wild beast only snorted and stroke again.
Camus sighed, holding his moan. He had to get used to this pain, if he wanted to bring Milo's consciousness back. He didn't even want to defend himself. If Milo considered him as a danger, then he had to show the Scorpio how little harm he could cause to the Greek. What would happen, if Camus decided to fight back…?
"Get to your senses finally, Milo!" he said again, standing in the front of the furious, bloodthirsty beast, looking insistently into the bright eyes.
The Scorpio slowed down a little, observing carefully the man standing a few meters away. The aquamarine-haired man showed his hands, empty and completely armless.
"I don't know what Lady Aphrodite did to you, but you are stronger, Milo. Just try," Camus whispered, having the hope, that if Milo stopped then he would listen to him.
But he was wrong. After a few seconds Milo send his poisonous Needle again, looking as a new hole opened in the body of the Aquarius. This time the French screamed from the pain. He barely could remain his consciousness right now, time to time his sensed almost faded away but he had to keep sane, he had to maintain long enough to bring Milo back.
"Stop it!" Lady Athena almost cried to the other Goddess. "Please, stop. You are hurting them both…"
Aphrodite snorted completely amused.
"Why should I? Milo is under my control right now. I can make him forget about your little human, I can make him to kill his… friend right now. There is no love in your former Saint, Athena. He is mine," she said with a smile, watching the whole fight. It was a little boring, since the other man, this long haired, Aquarius Saint refused to attack Milo. Well, maybe it was the damn time to end this miserable show? Just kill this little human? He deserved actually. "Look how I'm killing your Saint with the hand of Milo."
Athena looked quickly at the two fighting Saints, ready to jump there and to stop everything. But after a few long seconds nothing happened. Of course, Milo hit Camus with his Needle, but it definitely wasn't something that could kill the Aquarius Gold Saint. It seemed that Milo was enjoying the slow tortures of his victim and didn't intend to obey the Goddess of Beauty anymore.
"Why…?" Lady Aphrodite gasped from the surprise. Why her powers weren't working on Milo right now? How could this be possible?
"It is instinct, Aphrodite," whispered Athena. "You woke up in him the pure instinct. And nothing is able to force a pure instinct to do otherwise. I can't believe, but with this you saved Camus…"
She gasped her hands. She could feel that Milo wasn't Milo right now. It was rather a being made only from instinct. Instinct of survive, of fight, desire to shed the blood. Desire to strike and cause the pain. There were no powers that could force such a being to do something he didn't want. Telling him to kill Camus was pointless. Milo wanted to torture his victim, not to kill instantly. She only hoped that Camus would be able to bring Milo back…
But it seemed quite hard. Camus tried to avoid the poisonous needles as much as he could, but Milo with his speed was slowly heading to the Antares. Just two strikes were left…
What if he would be defeated? What if he wouldn't be able to bring Milo's senses back? Would his lover really kill him? Just… like that? Without the hesitation? Smiling so awfully, with this victorious look inside his eyes?
"Milo…" he stood up from the ground after the previous strike. "I'm disappointed with you…"
The Scorpio growled and inflicted the fourteenth star, causing Camus to scream from the pain. It was burning, so burning. Like his blood was boiling inside his veins. So, his next and probably final death would look like that? In the fire? He died already in cold, in darkness and loneliness. So now it would be the fire…?
"You promised me, Milo. You promised me you would never betray me," he whispered. He wasn't sure if it was his last words or maybe last try to bring Milo back. The reality was mixing with the dream, his consciousness wanted to fade away finally. Maybe he wasn't talking? Maybe it was just his imagination? "But you are doing exactly this. You are betraying me, Milo."
He kneeled down, not able to hold the vertical position anymore. He was surprised he held for such a long time with this whole burning pain.
"I will never forgive you, Milo…"
He expected the last Needle. Antares should fall on him right now. And he would die by the hand of his lover. Maybe it wasn't such a bad way to die. But he saw such a wonderful life with Milo; he learned so many strange emotions. He had so many good memories right now. He didn't want to lose it right now. He wanted to return with Milo to the sanctuary, he wanted to kiss him and hold him. He wanted to live with him.
Oh, how rarely Camus was telling Milo about his love! He should do that every day! He didn't show this emotion much enough. And right now he was about to lose the chance of doing it in the future…
But… If he was about to die right now… then it was filling him with happiness. Dying from the hand of the beloved one… It was an acceptable thing.
And Antares… didn't fall…
Camus looked at the wild man in the front of him, who stopped completely. Milo's expression was strange. His eyes were half consciousness and half furious. The Aquarius could see inside them the confusion, suffering, refusal and sadness.
Then Milo kneeled as well, holding tightly his head and resting his forehead on the golden sand, he howled from pain.
"Milo!" Camus moaned, slowly crawling into Milo's direction.
What was happening? Why Milo was in such a pain? Was it doing of Aphrodite? Could he help his lover…?
He was looking at the face that should bring him pain, but the pain didn't fall. He was looking at the blood, coming out of the body of his lover, and he felt horrible. He was looking into these dark, frustrated eyes and wanted to stop already. But his wild self, his instinct was ranging inside his mind, pushing him back, and striking again and again.
He was shouting the name of his beloved, but the pain didn't come like earlier. No one was forcing him to not remember Camus' name and no one was hurting him.
"You promised me, Milo. You promised me you would never betray me," he heard the voice of Camus, filled with the pain of the poisonous needles. "But you are doing exactly this. You are betraying me, Milo."
No, no, no! No, he didn't want to betray his beloved! He never meant that! How it could turn into something like this? How he couldn't remember why right now his wild self was torturing Camus, how he couldn't remember why Aquarius' name meant pain for him? Why his name should mean that anyway?
"I will never forgive you, Milo…"
Oh, Camus, no!
He had to push his instinct back. He had to regain the control over his own body. Only one strike left to the Antares and then Camus would be dead! He couldn't let that happen! He couldn't let his wild soul to kill his beloved Camus!
He had to go back! This time he had to! This wild monster should be stopped right now!
Back! Go back! Go BACK!
It hurt. It hurt so much to fight with it, he couldn't even think like a human. He wanted to hide somewhere and wait until that pain disappear, but it meant Camus' death. He couldn't be defeated by his own soul, he had to save his lover, his beloved Aquarius Saint until it wasn't too late. This pain was nothing to the one he would feel later, with the dead body of the young French into his arms…
He felt the sand under his knees and then Camus' voice was calling him weakly. For a long while he couldn't even move, still fighting with the last remaining traces of his wild self until he was able to look around himself. And then he could look into the dark, blue eyes of Camus, shining from the tiredness and relief.
"Milo…" the Aquarius whispered, with a weak smile touching delicately Milo's cheek. "You are back…"
And he fell unconsciousness in the arms of his beloved Scorpio, finally giving up to the enormous pain he felt in his whole body.