A huge thanks to LastIncurableRomantic for all her help betaing and for being an amazing friend!
~oOo~
The door to the jail cell slammed shut, leaving the two men in silence except for the sound of water dripping from a sink. The ten by ten cell was… cosy. Thankfully John and Liam were the only ones in it. Each sat on a steel bench on opposite sides of the room.
Liam leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. John held the ice pack to his rapidly swelling eye and pointedly looked anywhere but at the man in the cell with him. The last hour had been embarrassing for the both of them. Rose had taken off soon after the police had shown up. At least she hadn't seen the pair of them handcuffed and thrown in the back of a black and white. Mercifully she had also missed the pair of them being fingerprinted, booked and having their mug shots taken.
Neither man said anything for well over an hour. It was Liam who dared to break the silence first. "How's the eye? Sorry about that, by the way."
John chuckled dryly. "The eye will heal. Sorry about your lip." His tongue flicked out and licked the crusted blood off his own swollen lip. "I shouldn't have started that fight."
"It's understandable, really," Liam replied. "Rose is a wonderful woman, and it's easy to be jealous when someone else has her attention." Leaning back, he rested his head against the wall. "And it's hard to think about her with anyone other than yourself."
"Yeah," John agreed softly. "Not her fault I acted like a complete and total twat, though."
A small laugh escaped Liam's mouth. "Course it's not her fault. Rose fixes people. It's what she's best at. It's what she did for me." A heavy silence filled the air for a moment. "When I met Rose I was angry at everyone. I was doing criminal law, and I was cutthroat. I didn't care if a criminal walked free because a victory in courtroom was the only thing that made me feel anything other than anger." He leaned forward again. "Seven years ago, my wife Gemma—well, now she's my ex-wife, but we were married at the time—took off with our three year old.
"One morning I left for work and came home to find her and Sophie gone, their things missing and the joint bank account wiped out. It took me months and a lot of favours to find out where they were. Even when I did, there was nothing I could legally do to get my daughter back. Me, a high power barrister, one of the best in London and I was helpless."
"I'm sorry," John said sincerely. "I can't even imagine what that would be like."
"It was hell, four years of hell not always knowing where my daughter was all the time or if she was safe. They bounced around a lot, Paris, Istanbul, Hong Kong, so it was hard to track them down. Two years in I'd all but given up hope. I was a shark in the courtroom and a drunk at home. Then my godmother introduced me to Rose. I don't think that she expected us to fall for one another, and we didn't at first. For the first few months we were friends, just friends. She helped me to see that I had a reason to keep fighting. My daughter."
Liam stood and walked the short distance to the front of the cell. "Rose helped me to focus on legal issues, contacting Gemma and even talked that crazy woman into letting me come and visit for a short time when t they were in Cairo. I cried when I held Sophie for the first time in three years. It was as if my heart was ripped out when I had to leave her behind and head back to the UK. Rose held my hand the entire time. When I got back, I kicked everything into high gear. Finished the divorce proceedings in Gemma's absence and got the courts to award me full custody all in a few weeks. Then I waited. In the meantime, I changed careers. Became a solicitor and began to take on custody cases. I did a lot of pro bono work and took on cases no one else would touch; I just wanted to make sure that everyone got a fair shake.
"A few months after the visit, Gemma ran out of cash and she came back to England with Sophie. The woman tried to blackmail me for funds. When I wouldn't give her anything, she called the police saying that I was threatening to kidnap my daughter. I showed them the court order, and I got Sophie back."
John grinned. "That's great."
"It was," Liam replied, nodding. "But it wasn't the end of the fight. I may have had my daughter at home every night, but Gemma fought for and got supervised visitation. At first I figured the visits were supervised, and I didn't want to cut my ex-wife out of Sophie's life so I let them happen. After a few weeks, Sophie started acting scared of her mother and throwing tantrums before the visits. I got worried and sent her to counsellor. Only later did I learn about all the things that Gemma did to her: locking her in closets when she cried, not feeding her if she misbehaved. Stuff that still makes me sick to my stomach to think about. We got the visitations stopped, but they wouldn't completely revoke Gemma's rights." Liam sniffed and scrubbed a hand down his face before continuing.
"During all that time Rose and I grew closer, started dating exclusively. Two years ago I asked Rose to marry me. She agreed readily but didn't seem to be in a rush to set a date. Then she got the job offer here, wanted all three of us to move here. Give us a fresh start. But there were still the custody issues to contend with. Rose wanted to stay, but I didn't want to hold her back. We fought about for almost a month before she agreed to move here. So we separated temporarily, or so I thought."
Liam sighed. "Two weeks ago, I finally convinced the courts to terminate Gemma's rights. It didn't hurt that I offered a financial incentive to her if she stopped fighting it. Amazing how little cash it took to convince her in the end. Papers signed, I left Sophie with Rose's mum and came out here to surprise her." Liam came back and sat down on the bench. "And I found out things had changed."
"Are you going to put that on me?" John asked, his tone slightly defensive. "Because I won't apologize for falling in love with her."
Liam gave him a sad smile. "I wish it was as easy as you being here, Johnny boy. However, I think Rose and I have been over for a while, just neither one of us wanted to admit it. How can you just give up on the kind of love that Rose gives?"
This time the silence between them was a comfortable one. Liam's question didn't need an answer and John didn't want to try and make him feel better about no longer being with the woman that he was arse over teakettle for.
The next time Liam spoke, he looked sad but resolved. "This won't make much sense now, John, but I need you to remember it. When you truly know who you are, you have to tell her. Tell her every day how you feel about her, show her how you feel because if you don't you'll lose her and once again the only person to blame will be yourself. Rose Tyler only deserves the best. So promise me right now that you will never let her down."
To John, it seemed a strange thing for the (possible) ex to be asking of the potential new boyfriend, but there was something in his eyes when he said it that made John readily agree. "I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is only treated with the respect and love that she deserves."
"Good. That's good," Liam replied, sounding sad and relieved. He turned his body away from John and leaned his head against the wall. Neither man spoke again for hours.
~oOo~
Rose's hands were shaking as she opened the front door to her house. How could they? She was not some prize that was awarded to the winner of their idiotic little fist fight. Having two grown men fight over you was not enjoyable or romantic, no matter how it was portrayed in films. Right now for all she cared they could stew in jail for the night. Heck, a small town, 21st century, American holding cell was preferable to many of the places the Doctor had gotten her thrown into in the past.
Once inside the house she headed across the kitchen to the stairway to the basement. She needed something familiar and welcoming. The TARDIS was alive, and she was Rose's friend. Right now Rose wanted to curl up in the jump seat and let the hum of the ship soothe her, help her to clear her head. Not that she couldn't hear the TARDIS any time she was inside her house, but the connection was strongest there.
The key warmed slightly against her skin as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She knew exactly when she had taken to wearing the key around her neck again. When he was in hospital, she had kept the fob watch in her pocket at all times. It had been too close a call, and she didn't want to chance not having the watch close at hand if things took a sudden wrong turn. It had to have been after his release that she switched the watch for the key. She knew it sounded daft but somehow having a piece of her old life with her made her feel safe.
Stepping over the threshold and into the dimly lit console room, Rose felt the loving, familiar hum of the ship in her mind. She let her fingers trail over the coral strut nearest the door. "What am I supposed to do?" A tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. She felt so angry at the two men who were probably being thrown together in some jail cell. Yet she was still so conflicted, so conflicted. Sinking down onto the jump seat, Rose cradled her head in her hands. "Where do I go from here?"
The view screen flickered into life and the Doctor's voice filled the room. "Rose, if the TARDIS brought me to you…" Her head shot up. This was the video that the TARDIS had cut off on the night that she materialized here. That night she had been upset that she hadn't been able to see what message the Doctor had for her but right now she had no desire to her it.
"Turn it off," Rose yelled at the time rotor.
"I told her not to bother you with this." The volume of the Doctor's voice increased. Apparently the magnificent time and space ship thought that this was something that she needed to here.
Grumbling, Rose sat back down on the seat not wanting to look at the screen.
"I asked the TARDIS not to bring me to you. Not because I don't trust you, because nothing could be further from the truth. Above anyone else, Rose Tyler, I trust you." He sighed, and Rose turned to face the screen. "I should have put more faith in you before I lost you. I should have pulled you closer instead of pushing you away, but I was scared. And not that it probably means much to you now, but nothing happened with Reinette. From the moment that I trapped myself there, I could think of nothing more than getting back to you."
The Doctor broke eye contact with the camera and ran his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to come back for you. Give you a few days away from me and then beg you to come back. Unfortunately, I jumped a tad bit too far in the future. I meant to give you a week, and I ended up several years further into your future."
"You always were an awful driver, Doctor," Rose whispered, hugging her knees to her chest.
He turned back to the face the screen. "I'd missed my shot. You had moved on with your life, and I was so proud of you." His voice broke over the words, and he beamed. "You didn't need me anymore, and I couldn't blame you. You were right to leave. I never did deserve you. You took a broken old man and showed him how to find joy and love again. I just wish I hadn't been so thick as to lose you in the first place. I've been keeping tabs on you, and I know about the engagement and the separation that you have taken while you focus on your career. I have been so tempted to approach you, but I know that I still don't deserve you. And why would you still want me after all this time?
"Rose, I hope you never have to hear this because I want you to be living that fantastic life that you promised me that you would be living without me. However, if for some reason the TARDIS ignored my wishes and brought John Smith to you, then I'm sorry. There will probably be enough residual memory left in him to feel drawn to you. Especially since you have never been far from my thoughts since the moment I met you. Ask Martha; I'm sure she'll tell you."
Snorting, Rose shook her head. Oh, she had gotten an earful and a cold shoulder from Martha Jones when they had first met. Apparently, the Doctor hadn't been able to stop lamenting over Rose and made Martha feel inferior. Once Martha had gotten Rose's side of the story they had become good friends.
"The point is, if John Smith feels even a fraction of my affection for you, without my self-imposed rules he may attempt to act on his feelings. I know that after what has happened between you and me, that you will probably not be inclined to return my, his, feelings. I won't blame you. I know it will be a terrible inconvenience for you but in three months, feel free to open the watch and send me away.
"If for some unknown reason, you do return his affections, you have a choice. And I would completely understand if you choose not to open the watch at all." Automatically, Rose opened her mouth to protest, but the recording kept going. "No, no, no hear me out. John Smith is not me. He will look like me and his voice may sound like mine, but he won't be me. If you can look past all of that and still feel something for him despite how you must feel about me... Rose Tyler, all I want is for you to be happy even if that can never be with me. The choice is yours. You always seem to make the best ones in the end."
The playback ended, and Rose stared dumbfounded at the screen. How could the Doctor have been so wrong about all of this? She had long ago forgiven the Doctor for his transgression and she wouldn't have missed one moment that they had together. And John Smith was such a huge part of who the Doctor was. True, he had fewer inhibitions and rules to hold him back from acting on his love for her. Of course, she knew that John loved her.
Standing, Rose once again trailed a hand across the console. "Thank you for showing me the video, love. I have some thinking to do." She pressed two fingers to her lips and then touched then to a coral strut before heading back upstairs.
How could the Doctor ever think that she wouldn't open the watch? That she would put her feelings ahead of the needs of the Universe? She climbed the stairs to the second floor and pushed open the door to her bedroom. Making quick work of opening the safe, Rose pulled out the fob watch and took the ring box containing her engagement ring out of her pocket. Her fingers trembled as she removed the ring from the box.
Sinking to her knees in front of the window, she clutched each object in a different hand. Each one represented one of the greatest men that she had been lucky enough to know. This wasn't fair, feeling like she had to choose between them. Most people were lucky if they found even one man as great as either Liam or the Doctor, and here she had to give one up.
Opening her left hand, she gazed at the beautiful ring that symbolized Liam's love and devotion to her. Was that promise enough? In ten years when he was visibly older and she potentially wasn't, how would he feel then? He said that it didn't matter to him, yet she wasn't sure. Rose knew how she would feel in that situation and it wouldn't matter to her. However, even if Liam could deal with the changes to her physiology, was he still what she wanted?
She and Liam had a history, a loving, respectful, honest relationship that had lasted nearly five years. She loved him and Sophie so very much. They had been a family. He taught her to love again, and she helped him to get his daughter back and to see the good in people again. But it had been over with him for a while now. Neither had wanted to admit it. Liam was the kind of man that she had dreamed of being with when she was a child. He was the textbook definition of what she wanted in a partner, but somehow things still weren't working out.
Gently she set the ring back in the box and closed it. Now clasping the fob watch in both hands she thought back to her time with her first Doctor, the end of the world and chips, dancing, Woman Wept, him kissing her when she was Bad Wolf, his regeneration. Then with her second, happier Doctor. They had had so much fun together before things had gone so utterly wrong.
For a moment she let her mind wander to what could have been had she stayed after France. The TARDIS's song resonated in her head and she was hit with an onslaught of memories: falling to a parallel Earth with Mickey and the Doctor, saving her parallel-dad but watching her parallel-mum die, Mickey staying behind. Losing her face in the 1950's, losing the TARDIS and battling the devil, the 2012 Olympics, and then a bleak white wall, and through it all there was an enduring, overpowering love.
Rose gasped and dropped the watch.
What the hell was that? Did she just see an alternative timeline? How would that even be possible? From two floors beneath her she felt the TARDIS's song thrum loudly. Ah, that would explain things. She was meddling again.
Still though, she could feel the love between her and the Doctor in that timeline that never happened. There had been laughter, tears and saving the world, the Universe even, and all of it would have been wonderful. Even if it would have been fleeting, ephemeral, it would have been worth every moment of heartache that came with it.
And now she knew what she had to do.