The Alternate Track
by Rob Morris

SUNNYDALE, MIDDLE OF 'Once More With Feeling'

Park Exterior Shot

( Sweet skulks about a bit, surveying what he thinks will soon be his new domain, if only until he burns it out )

( He sees Buffy and Xander smiling at each other )

Sweet : Do I espy the Slayer and her little pal? But didn't I just see them each on separate sides of this little town? Doesn't make any...

( He stops immediately as they begin singing )

( Think third-tier 70's ballad; Nothing schlocky or horrible, though- -'It Never Rains In Southern California', 'Oh Babe What Would You Say', 'The Last Song' - the bottom of a good barrel, so to speak )

Xander ( Looking at Buffy in a nod-along way ) : *When you first showed up I said I knew you*

Buffy : ( Pleased; She's one more step away from being as alone as she feels ) *Though we'd never met I knew it felt true*

Xander : ( Awed ) *Sometimes I think I saw the little girl who would one day hold the Earth*

Buffy ( Eyes a little ashamed; She loved her mother, and she loves Dawn-but this one was born with her, and that makes him precious beyond words ) :

*Sometimes I think I saw the little boy who could never know his worth*

X : (Now looking a bit angry) *Where were you, while my ears blocked out, all their drunken shouts?*

B : (Angry, too, and angrier for his not getting it) *Where were you, while I lived alone in a silenced house?*

X : *To them, I quickly became just a noisy doll they stole*

B : *To them, I was someone left behind to fulfill a good girl role*

X : *When you came here, my life went on a tear*

B : *Your faith in me-

( She stops singing; speaks briefly )

B : Errr-no faith. (sings anew) *Your belief in me made me feel I could go most anywhere*

( They speak, while shaking their index fingers at one another in unison )

B+X : But we mustn't ever, ever go...

( Their separate gazes go briefly crotchward, then back up rapidly; Singing resumes; Arms raise as they stand side by side )

B+X : *THERE!*

( Bouncy, early Olivia Newton-John country-esque begins to play )

B : (Moving around a bit frenetically) *Secrets, secrets-who's got one? But don't those secrets ruin all the fun?*

X : ( stays still in contrast to Buffy's movements) *AngelOzJennyFaithCouncilRileyMaggieTaraDawn -and then we four, who never know how to keep a proper lie score*

B : *Secrets, secrets-we've got some-when you count our wombs-you only count one.*

X : *Harrises stole lied, and died-Summerses-well their marriage fried-and I brought you back all those times you died.*

B : *Secrets, secrets-here they come. You can't stop them and each one weighs a ton.*

X : *I wanted her-she wanted me* (speaks)-around-(resumes song) *and
that dead lady in the ground really isn't our Mom.*

( He pauses ; speaks )

X : And we've outlived the usefulness of this town...

( They look at the ground beneath them-image flashes to a statue of Dick Wilkins crumbling ; The implication of the possible series finale is foreshadowed )

B+X : ( Switches to traditional 'musical' kind of music as they finish up ) *This town-this town; It isn't like your town; Or at least that's what you like to tell yourself; But every town has secrets-and every town has demons-and every town has that one* ( They look at each other
as they fade out ) *you only thought you knew...*

( Sweet looks confused )

Sweet : That wasn't on the official list. But I guess some unreleased songs still get played, eventually. But will our heroes live to hear the demo? My review?

( He grins )

Sweet : Never Gonna Happen.