A/N: A big thanks Bookworm4479 for not allowing me to be lazy and sluff over facts. In the real world, the Hobbit movie I referenced isn't out on video yet so there's no way Lisbon and Jane can be watching it unless it's pirated. While I don't think Jane would have a problem with pirating a flick, I think Lisbon would so it isn't happening. Not with the FBI watching or even if they weren't.
So, for the purposes of this story, my fictional universe is far enough ahead of reality the movie has already gone to video so there isn't an issue. However, if the idea of Jane pirating videos works for you, you're free to imagine it your way. We all know how Jane can be and I like naughty Jane. I just happen to also think Lisbon would have to be a lot more dim witted than we know her to be for that scenario to work. She's a very smart woman in my opinion!
Oh, while I plastered a disclaimer on my profile page for all my stories since we all know who owns The Mentalist and it isn't me, I might as well remind you I don't own anything to do with Airstream travel trailers (that company has been around since long before I was born) or any other trademarked item that might appear in this story. Not a thing. ~Calla
#
Opening her eyes to the sound of pounding on the door, Lisbon threw her arms over her head and stretched like an overfed cat. Whoever that was could wait until she was good and ready to crawl out of her makeshift bed. She so wasn't rushing for anyone. Or, better yet, Jane could handle it. Yeah, that made more sense. It was his pad after all.
Wiggling down, Lisbon snorted at the ridiculousness of the comfy cocoon she was ensconced in. If anyone had told her she'd be making a bed out of Jane's dinette, she'd have said they were crazy. As it was, she was content to rest on a mattress created out of jamming the dinette seat cushions over the top of the lowered dining table. Who'd have thought such a thing possible? Not her. Not in a million years. But it worked. Surprisingly well. She'd slept like a baby until some rude person rained on her parade before it was time.
Maybe Jane wasn't such a fool for wanting his travel trailer. There seemed to be a lot of nifty tricks associated with RVs that really made them work. This one wasn't so bad anyway. While she might get claustrophobic if she had to live here 24/7, she'd had a blast the few hours she'd called it home.
Watching Jane walk from his bedroom to the door, Lisbon decided he didn't look half bad sleep rumpled and jammie clad. Now, if he'd just get rid of whoever that was so she could close her eyes again, the day would be perfect. From the sound of things, that wasn't happening. Sitting up, Lisbon dragged her hand through her hair before flipping the covers back. Rising slowly to her feet, she wasn't all that surprised to see Fischer stepping through the door.
While she wouldn't go so far as to think, "There goes the neighborhood," she'd hazard a guess their leisurely Saturday had just shot straight to hell.
Not only that, she wondered what the other woman was doing haunting an RV park in the middle of nowhere almost at the crack of dawn when a telephone call would suffice. She knew darned well it wasn't because the FBI couldn't reach them. Both she and Jane had had their cell phones on and within reach all night. They'd done so for years. They'd also made a point of checking them before retiring last night.
Shaking her head in a "will wonders never cease" kind of way, Lisbon decided the quandary they now found themselves in probably had more to do with Abbott's incessant need to micro manage the world than with anything common sense. It certainly wasn't because this little trek was Fischer's idea. She clearly wasn't any happier with her assignment than they were. Her boss had probably told her to get her rear in gear and personally escort Jane back to headquarters. That wasn't working out as planned. She was quickly discovering her presence wasn't necessary in a vaguely uncomfortable manner. Another brunette had everything under control already.
Lisbon harrumphed at the inanity of a situation so easily avoided. For one thing, Abbott could give it a rest. Jane had won this round. He would stick around for a while. He'd given his word, and in a twisted Jane way, that meant everything. It didn't mean he wouldn't cause plenty of trouble for everyone involved. That was a given. It did mean, however, as long as the FBI kept their word, he'd keep his in one fashion or another. That was as good as it got with Jane.
Lisbon had learned over the years it was good enough for her.
However, it seemed the FBI was another story. Everyone constantly getting their knickers in a knot, namely Abbott and his team, was immature and childish. If they weren't capable of handling their charge they shouldn't have taken him on. They should have just left him marinating on his tropical island. But, they hadn't.
So, the best advice she could give them was to don their big girl panties. Accept they were going to get taken more often than not. Oh, and don't expect to take Jane. That just didn't happen too often. Yes, the man solved cases; but, at a cost. Generally, he wreaked havoc and everyone else cleaned up the mess. That was the Jane way. Anything less was a deal breaker.
Too bad no one had listened when she tried to tell them someone always paid the piper and it was rarely Jane.
Nor did they hear her telling them half the battle of maintaining illusionary control of their charge was being the adult to his mischievous, overgrown child. Too doggone bad. She wasn't a 'Do as I say not as I do' kind of person. She practiced what she preached where her Mentalist was concerned. She'd learned the hard way. Anything less was courting disaster as Abbott was already doing. From what she could see, there was going to be a nasty mess for her to clean up before too long of one kind or another.
Sighing in resignation, Lisbon jumped to the obvious solution for making the current mess go away. She'd get Jane where he needed to be by the time he needed to be there. It was the only workable answer. She wasn't about to leave him to the other woman. Lisbon was a mildly surprised at her possessive feelings. Jane didn't belong to her. He wasn't a piece of property and he wasn't her Mentalist. As for Fischer's annoying presence, the Feeb was only doing her job. She was Jane's handler now.
Right, and everyone was welcome to keep telling themselves that. Any idiot could see the lay of the land in that direction. Even if the FBI wasn't willing to openly acknowledge what everyone knew. Jane's true handler had always been, and would always be, Lisbon. That's assuming anyone was stupid enough to believe he really had a handler in the first place. She knew better as did Cho. In fact, she was certain he'd said something that effect numerous times only to have it fall on dead ears.
Feeling eyes on her bare legs, Lisbon looked up to see Fischer giving her the once over from the top of her glorious bedhead going every which way to her not so freshly scrubbed face to her red tipped toenails and everything in between. She hoped the other woman got her eyes full with all that staring. It wasn't like she was indecent. Anyone could see she was wearing all of her undergarments and Jane's tee shirt practically went to her knees. It was hardly seductive wear even by Lisbon's tomboy standards.
"Not involved huh?" Fisher stared at Lisbon's attire dubiously.
"Stop that." Lisbon motioned towards the tousled "bed" automatically defending her actions. "I slept over there." Her tone conveyed how much she resented any need to explain her actions to the other woman.
It wasn't necessary even if some part of her felt it was. Fischer had watched her crawl awkwardly from beneath the covers. More important, as she'd already reminded Jane several times, this was her life. She would decide what to do with it. If she'd decided not to sleep there, it wasn't any of Fischer's business. Ditto for Abbott. They needed to stay out of her personal space.
"It's a long way back across town." Lisbon's stance warned the other woman to carefully choose the next words exiting her mouth or there would be hell to pay. "Jane offered to let me stay."
"Whatever." Fischer dismissed the whole scene with a look that said it all.
If Lisbon wanted to lie, that was her business. The fairly innocuous scene she'd walked into didn't mean they hadn't been intimate earlier in the evening. Both Lisbon and Jane were smart enough to cover their tracks in case something unforeseen happened like her knocking on his door at 7:05 in the morning. If they'd truly wanted to keep their relationship a secret, Lisbon wouldn't have stayed over in the first place. She'd have kept the lines between them nice and crisp.
As it was, Fischer hadn't needed to see her car in Jane's driveway to know she'd stayed over. She knew the woman had arrived, bottle of wine and covered pan in hand, at 7:22 last night and she'd never left. Not that their indiscretions were of great concern. More like an interesting study in unprofessional behavior than anything else at the moment. They could bang like bunnies until the cows came home as long as they kept it discreet. She, nor anyone else, would try to stop them. As far as the Higher Ups were concerned, they already were and always had been, so why bother attempting to change the status quo. It didn't matter Cho maintained it wasn't true and never had been. What did he know? Those two wouldn't have told a subordinate they were sleeping together anyway. Until a couple of years ago, doing so was against several CBI rules and regulations.
"We've got a case." Fischer announced to no one in particular. "Abbott wants to see you in 90 minutes. Wiley should be finished with what he's working on by then."
"It'll take me longer than that." Lisbon said. "I wasn't planning on crashing last night so I need to go home and change."
"You've got your go bag." Jane gently reminded her. "I'm sure you have something appropriate in there."
"I guess I do." Lisbon was surprised she'd needed a reminder. "I'd forgotten about that. It's been a long time since I needed one. I don't think I left town once the whole time I was in my old job."
Fischer rolled her eyes at the impersonally personal conversation going on right in front of her leaving her out of the mix.
"Make it two hours…Cho just texted Wiley needs more time." Fischer said as she returned her phone to her pocket and turned to leave. "Don't be late." She barked over her shoulder as she closed the door hard behind her.
"That was a treat." Lisbon observed as she watched the Agent stomp to her vehicle, slide in, and slam the door before squealing her tires backing out of Jane's drive at a high rate of speed. "It's also exactly what I need on top of everything else."
"What was that all about?" Jane asked totally mystified by the strange conversation. Not that the exchange hadn't been interesting. It was. He'd always enjoyed watching spitfire Lisbon. "I'm assuming you know?"
"Oh, yeah, I know. Fischer cornered me at FBI headquarters back before I was offered a position. She asked if we were involved." Lisbon said. "I asked her what would make her ask such a thing and left it at that. What she just saw is going to open a subject we've already closed."
"You do realize, as you never gave her a straight answer, the subject was never really closed." Jane gently pointed out. "Closing the subject would have been firmly stating we weren't inappropriately involved in the past nor are we now. You didn't do that."
It was a betraying turn of events in his opinion. Subtle, but very revealing as such unconscious actions tended to be. Jane wondered briefly how he'd have answered the same question before quickly dismissing his thoughts knowing he'd probably have done the same. Answer evasively. There was something intangible between them slowly coming to life. Something they'd yet to confront that was dangerous, intriguing, and begging to be explored. Until they'd done that, it was also a situation best ignored by both of them.
"I'm not doing it now either." Lisbon said. "This isn't anyone's business but ours. She had no right to ask such a thing and I didn't owe her an answer. I'm here to work, not satisfy idle curiosities about us."
"Yes, you are." Jane agreed. "But, I can see where the FBI would want to know."
"There's nothing to know." Lisbon reminded him. "We're close friends and we work together."
"Yes, I suppose we are and we do." Jane agreed. "We'll figure out the rest as we go along."
Lisbon gave him a penetrating look before nodding her head. Neither of them was stupid. They both knew things were different. They could feel it. They just weren't ready to address it yet. She certainly wasn't.
She wasn't about to tell Jane she'd cried when she'd gotten his telephone message. When she'd realized he was really gone. She'd told herself she was glad for him. That it was finally done. But, she was sad she hadn't gotten to share the moment. Not necessarily the "moment" moment so much as the aftermath. Seeing Jane actually kill MacAllister with his own two hands may have been a little much. Then again, probably not considering the "victim" was hardly a victim having left so many true victims behind.
She hadn't been prepared for how badly she'd missed Jane. Or to find her joy at receiving his letters far outweighed any worry they could be used to catch him. Jane was too wily not to have thought of that. Even if his letters were discovered and led the FBI to his front door, she'd known he'd be somewhere they couldn't touch him. She was right. However, she'd been as shocked to discover he'd willingly come back to the States as she'd been overjoyed to see him. She'd also known Jane had another move up his sleeve when it looked like Abbott had him cornered. While she'd not seen the maneuvers coming, she'd known Jane would win in the end. She hadn't been wrong.
Now, working with Jane without the threat of Red John hanging over their heads was creating a situation she wasn't quite sure how to handle. She'd figure it out eventually. She'd also be the first to admit it was a whole lot easier to overlook those "tingly" moments when she'd known he was out of reach. Even though he'd said and done things over those last couple of years in times of stress open to more intimate interpretations, she hadn't gone there. Not being sure how to take him, denial became her new best friend.
Things felt different now. In spite of the ring on his finger, Jane wasn't as untouchable as he'd once been. Unfortunately, her awareness of that was making her see and feel things she shouldn't. Things like Jane was an incredibly attractive man who might be attracted to her. There was just something about the way he looked at her. Something that was different, masculine, and interested. She was finding it harder and harder not to look back. But, now wasn't the time to explore such possibilities.
They were both in the midst of making their new lives work.
"Here." Jane broke into her erratic thoughts by offering her whatever he'd just reached into his closet to grab. "You're going to need these."
"You can't be serious? I didn't even know this stuff was missing." Lisbon took in the neatly hanging suit and blouse. "When did you raid my closet?"
"When I dropped by a couple of weeks ago to help you unpack." Jane answered honestly. "I knew you'd end up staying over eventually." Granted, it was usually him staying over at her place; but, it wasn't improbable the opposite might happen now that he had a comfy place of his own. "It seemed like a smart idea to be prepared for something unexpected like this."
"You better not have raided my underwear drawer." Lisbon growled recalling precisely when he'd had that opportunity for an impromptu foray into her personal domain. "As it is, I'm not sure whether to kiss you or kill you for being presumptuous."
Dismissing his smirky snort, she recalled the "Check Up" call she'd received from Tommy and Annie that evening. She hadn't wanted to be distracted by Jane making funny faces so she'd slipped away to her home office for a few minutes of peace presenting her guest with the perfect opportunity to pull this stunt. Come to think of it, he'd had a bit of a Cheshire Cat grin on his face when she'd emerged from seclusion. She hadn't given it too much thought at the time. That was her mistake.
If she'd taken a moment to look, she'd have known he'd been up to something.
"I drew the line at one suit." Jane agreed. "I decided you would kill me if I did anything more."
"You decided right." Lisbon informed him. "I have everything else I'll need in my go bag. It'll take me a minute to go out and get it."
"Since I've already had my shower, you can take yours now." Jane said still mildly surprised she hadn't awakened when the water came on. From the muzzy look on her face when he'd walked through, it was clear she'd still been asleep when Fischer started bamming on the door. "I'll get your go bag and leave it outside the door. By the time you're dressed, breakfast will be ready. We have plenty of time to eat and still get to the office on time."
He'd also have plenty of time to get dressed himself; but, he didn't have to tell Lisbon that. If her reaction last night to that whole shower discussion was any indication, she'd probably swallow her tongue. Not the best thing to happen at the moment.
"Sounds like a plan." Lisbon said as she made short work of returning the cushions to their proper place and raising the dinette table. "Give me a minute to straighten up."
"I'll take care of that." Jane motioned to the bedclothes and pillows piled on one seat. "You need to get started."
It would take a handful of minutes to fold all of that and put it in the storage units under the dinette seats.
"I can do that." Lisbon nodded as she headed for the shower grabbing a towel and washcloth along the way. "I'll be out in a few."
Watching her retreat behind the sliding door, Jane walked over to the refrigerator to remove eggs, milk, bread, and bacon before setting them on the counter. Hearing the shower turn on without any problems, he grabbed the keys off the counter and headed out to fetch Lisbon's well stocked go bag. Leaving it outside the door as promised, he retreated to the kitchen to fix her favorite breakfast.
She should be ready about the time it was done.
#
Putting the final touches on her makeup, Lisbon decided Jane was right. The shower across the hall wasn't half bad. In fact, it was much better than she'd expected. Returning her cosmetics pouch back to the go bag resting on the closed toilet lid, she took one last look at her reflection. She'd do in a pinch. She looked cool, crisp, and professional like she always did. Zipping her bag and dropping it in the hall, she exited the bathroom to walk the few steps to the galley where Jane had been busy at work if the delicious aromas wafting back were any indication.
"You made French toast and bacon." Lisbon reached around a fully clothed Jane to snag a slice of bacon. "I can't believe you didn't forget."
The man had been busy the last half hour or so. In addition to cooking breakfast, he'd also changed into a new pair of slacks and a button down while she was in the shower. The accompanying jacket was lying around somewhere even if she couldn't see it. Probably the gray one she really liked judging by the rest of his outfit. Lisbon resisted the urge to shake her head. While he certainly looked nice, she still wasn't used to the new Jane after so many years of the old one.
Grabbing a cup from the cabinet, Lisbon filled it from the carafe before adding cream and sugar. She'd expected the coffee if not the other. Taking a sip, she decided if she could make Jane's tea perfectly, he returned the favor with coffee. At the moment, she was in hazelnut caffeine heaven.
"What?" Jane asked. "That someone likes their French toast overstuffed with cinnamon laden caramelized bananas and slathered in lots of maple syrup?" He slid another slice of egg battered toast on her plate. "No, I didn't forget. How could I?"
While he wouldn't say it, he rarely forgot anything when Lisbon was involved.
"I'm impressed." Lisbon carried both plates over to the dinette. "This smells so good."
"Because it is." Jane placed the container of warmed maple syrup on the table. "You know that."
"Yes, I do; but, that isn't what's so impressive." Lisbon said watching him slide into the seat across from her. "It's probably been close to three or four years since we've made this."
"That's about right." Jane winced as she drowned her toast in syrup. "Abbott won't know what to do with you once that sugar rush hits."
"You may be right; but, it tastes so good." Lisbon said as she carried a forkful of egged bread and bananas to her lips. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had pure maple syrup?"
"A few years." Jane answered as he dribbled syrup over his toast knowing he could add more if he needed it. "Since the last time we did this."
"Yeah, probably." Lisbon agreed. "I mean we've had breakfast since then, but we both know those places either give you fake syrup or some kind of blend."
"I wouldn't do that to you." Jane smiled at her open enjoyment of drowned toast and crispy bacon. "Only a monster would deprive you of such pleasure."
"You think we could do this again?" Lisbon motioned towards the expensive three quarters full bottle of prime maple syrup. "It's not like you don't need to use that up."
"What do you think?" Jane smirked at her. "What do you say to pumpkin pancakes next go around?"
"Sounds good." Lisbon said. "We can do apple cinnamon after that."
"You have to make those." Jane reminded her. "Yours are better than mine."
"I can do that." Lisbon agreed looking at her almost empty plate and wondering how it got that way with all the talking going on. "But you make the pumpkin."
"Maybe we'll try sweet potato instead." Jane said. "I've almost got the recipe right."
Lisbon rolled her eyes thinking if he'd just leave the darned recipe alone everything would be all right; but, that wasn't happening with Jane. He always had to fix what wasn't broken. The fact he usually pulled it off in the end only fueled his recipe editing mania. Before he was done, everything had that uniquely personal "Jane" touch.
"Uh-Uh." Lisbon said remembering the disasters from the past. "I'm so not being your guinea pig again. Work the recipe out first, then we'll talk."
"I can do that." Jane said rising to his feet to top her cup off and grab his steeped cup of tea from the counter. "I'm finding apple pie spice works far better than pumpkin pie spice at the moment. The only question is if I like it spicier or if I should back off a bit."
"Let me know when you figure it out." Lisbon said. "Until then, don't even think about serving me any of your experiments."
"You like this." Jane said. "It was an experiment."
"Yeah, I do; but, you worked all the kinks out first." Lisbon said as she lifted her last bite of bacon to her lips. "It was delicious the first time."
"I was trying to get back in your good graces." Jane reluctantly reminded her. "That was one time I wasn't sure you were ever going to forgive me so I wasn't about to blow my one shot at absolution."
It had still taken another month of his best behavior to be fully restored to grace. The sad thing was he couldn't pinpoint exactly what he'd done to make her so mad. Or, more likely, he didn't want to. He just remembered her reaction and how miserable he'd been. Given the timing, and the extremity of the situation, it had everything to do with Lorelei. Oh, well, it wasn't important. The moment had eventually passed.
"I wasn't sure I was going to either." Lisbon clearly recalled the incident better than he did and still found it slightly painful. "It took a while for me to put that whole Vegas incident into perspective; but, I finally did. That's all that matters."
Her tone conveyed that was all she was saying on the matter. That past was done and they weren't rehashing it. Lorelei would stay buried where she belonged. It was better for both of them.
"Yes, it is." Jane agreed. "Let me take care of our plates and we can go. We need to leave in a few minutes. If we don't, we'll be late and I know how much you like that."
"Not at all." Lisbon finished for him. "You wash and I'll dry. We'll get done faster."
Carrying her cup and plate to the sink, Lisbon waited patiently for Jane.
#
"What's going on, Cho?" Lisbon walked into the conference room followed by Jane pointedly ignoring the rest of the occupants since neither Fischer nor Abbott was present yet. "Bring us up to speed."
"Another serial crossing state lines." Cho said unnecessarily as Jane had already read her the file on the drive in. "Catches his victims unaware and shoots them dead. That's about all we know."
"Okay, so you still don't know any more than we do." Lisbon said. "Give us a few minutes to study those."
She nodded in the direction of the sparsely covered boards littering the front of the room noting Jane was already studying the evidence on display.
"I suppose she is a serial killer in the strictest sense." Jane stated as he stared at the evidence boards. "However, while you do have a nut job that's killed multiple people across several states over the last six months, that definition doesn't feel right." Jane said quietly. "Me, personally, I'd say you have more of an opportunistic killer who's systematically taking out people she perceives are threats to something, or someone, she values. She isn't compelled to kill because she gets off on the killings. In her mind, she's getting them before they get her. I'd say she's a desperate killer who feels backed against a wall."
"She's still a serial." Cho reminded him. "There's no getting around that."
"I don't suppose there is if you're a purist." Jane agreed. "That doesn't change the fact we need to change how we go about catching her. Forget everything you know about tracking serial killers. Until we figure out who, or what, she's trying to protect, we aren't stopping her. I'd suggest digging deeper into the lives of the victims until we find that illusive something they all have in common."
"We've already done that." Fischer said as she and Abbott stepped into the room. "That's what Wiley was doing. They have absolutely nothing in common."
"Oh, there's something or they wouldn't be dead." Jane snapped knowingly. "Dig deeper even if you have to offend some people. It always works for me."
"Why do you keep saying "she," Jane?" Abbott demanded stepping into Jane's personal space. "We've found nothing to suggest our killer is a woman. Though Agent Cho seems to agree with you, I don't. We aren't going off on a wild goose chase on this one. It's already generating too much press to make a mistake like that."
"Your killer is definitely female." Jane stated firmly. "The little forensics you have will support that. They'll also support the killings are more like hits than murders since a silenced handgun is used in every case. However, if you look closer, the kills are sloppier than a professional would ever make which also supports my theory. I'd say our girl did her homework. She learned the most efficient kill shots and practiced her craft at local shooting ranges. I'd say she was smart enough not to stay in any one place long enough for people to start asking questions about what she was doing. When she thought she was ready, she put her plan into action only to discover an actual kill was more difficult than target practice. How much do you want to bet that's what we'll find when catch her?"
"Only a fool takes a Jane bet." Cho quietly cautioned. "He always wins."
Abbott's answering snort conveyed he was FBI and he didn't do bets. Jane's smirk said he was chicken. Lisbon rolled her eyes hoping another pissing contest wasn't coming down the line. She wasn't in the mood.
They had too much work to do with another serial killer on the loose.