Thank you so much for the reviews! After this there will only be one more chapter of this story but I will be writing more to this verse. I'm not sure exactly what yet, but there will definitely be more! Thank you for reading and thanks to Gabi for betaing this chapter!
John sat at his injured son's bedside. The doctors had taken care of his infected leg and put a cast on it along with pain medication that would also help with his fever. John sighed as he looked at the few tubes inserted into Dean's wrist. His oldest boy hated having those needles inserted with a passion but they were giving Dean the nutrients and hydration that his body desperately needed, he could already see some color returning to Dean's pale face.
Right now Dean was sleeping restlessly, tossing and turning a bit, obviously plagued by the fresh memories haunting his mind. He had only been in the hospital an hour and a half and sleeping for 30 minutes. John winced looking at all the bruises and cuts on his son's troubled face. He knew the hospital couldn't do much about them but they looked so painful, it made him so angry to think of the cause of those injuries. The shifter sure didn't go lightly on Dean, that was for sure.
At that moment John heard a noise behind him and turned his head to look at the doorway. He was startled, but not surprised to see Sam in his wheelchair panting, his hair still damp. The kid was absolutely exhausted but he had still rushed over here to be with his brother, even though he knew it wasn't very serious. It just didn't matter with these boys how serious the situation was, if one of them was hurting, it was like nothing else mattered in the world but being there for the other.
"Is he okay?" Sam asked and wasted no time wheeling over to Dean's bedside. John watched how his youngest looked Dean over with worried eyes. Sam spotted how Dean's left arm was lying in an uncomfortable looking position and gently grabbed it, fixing the arm so it rested naturally on his chest. Sam sighed when he saw the needle going into Dean's right wrist, also knowing how much Dean despised them and gently took Dean's right hand in both of his, rubbing his thumbs over Dean's knuckles.
"You sure wasted no time coming here." John smiled. "You should have gotten some rest."
Sam looked at John like he was crazy. "I would have been here sooner if it didn't take an hour to rid myself of that disgusting smell and all of that mud."
John nodded. Of course Sam couldn't stand to have his brother in the hospital without being there with him. The kid probably broke every rule on the road when he drove over here.
"Is he okay?" Sam repeated himself, biting his lip with his eyes full of concern.
"He's going to be alright Sam." John tried to console his youngest son. Just watching Sam's interaction with his sleeping brother made his heart ache. His boys shared such a special and great bond. Although John would never be as close to Dean as Sam was...he still should have known that the shifter wasn't Dean. He was their father for goodness sakes; he figured he would recognize someone posing as his boy when it happened. But he hadn't...Sam had...Sam had known all these clues and John hadn't picked up on them at all. Even when Sam approached him in the middle of the night, so confident that the thing in the motel room wasn't his brother, John had doubted him. How could he be so foolish and blind?
"I know he's going to be okay." Sam said sternly but his eyes were welling up. "But it was so close to being a whole different story. He could have died so easily Dad. What if I had crawled into the sewer only to find Dean with a bullet in his head like the bartender?" Sam squeezed Dean's hand gently, careful not to disturb the tubes and wires.
"We both know your brother is a fighter. He's strong Sam and smart, he would know how to prevent the shifter from killing him so we could have the chance to rescue him." John told his youngest but he knew the words Sam had spoken were very true. Dean could have died easily, the shifter could have simply decided to kill him right away and there was nothing Dean could do to stop it. They had gotten lucky.
"You were able to save him Sam." John continued on. "It was all you. You knew that wasn't Dean and you had the perfect plan to find your brother. You never lost your focus and went through so much to get to him. I'm proud of you Sammy."
But instead of the smile John was expecting to see he watched as Sam slowly frowned, worry etching his features.
"Dad...the shifter told me some things when I confronted it. It told me things about Dean and what he thought. I didn't want to believe it but I know that some of it might be right." John stared at Sam in confused silence, not sure where Sam was going with this little confession.
"It could read Dean's memories. "You know it could read Dean's memories." It said that Dean still blamed himself for dropping me, which I know he does...I just didn't know it was so bad. But then it also told me that Dean knows you care for me more than you care for him. And he thinks I deserve your love more, so he's fine with that."
John's mouth fell open. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Sam, you don't honestly believe that, do you?"
Sam sighed, looking down where his hand's still held Dean's. He didn't seem to be comfortable saying this in front if his brother, but he knew Dean was out cold from the pain medication. "I don't want to, but...I'm thinking and..."
John couldn't hear anymore of this. "Sam, listen to me. I love your brother and I love you, both of you the same. You're my boys; I could never care more about one than the other."
"Let me finish Dad." Sam said calmly. "I guess I can see where Dean is coming from. You are always saying you're proud of me, like you just did now. Or congratulating me on silly things like bowling. I know I'm crippled Dad but it's no big deal that I do these things; it's no more special than if Dean did them. If I deserve praise for these things than so does Dean. I know part of it might be that you never got to see me grow up but Dad; I'm not a little kid that needs praise all of the time. If I do something that does impress you than that's fine, but make sure you say it to Dean as well if he does something equally as good."
Thinking about his son's words John suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Now that he was actually thinking back...he did act that way with praising Sam. Sure he did miss out on Sam's childhood and wanted to make sure Sam knew his father was proud of him but he actually missed out on Dean's as well. John often forgot that just because he had Dean throughout the boy's childhood didn't mean he had actually been there when Dean was young. John had left him alone time after time, and added with all that guilt that had been in Dean's mind had ruined his eldest boy's childhood. There was no reason why he should be praising Sam more than Dean and he had to realize that Sam wasn't a child any longer.
"You're right Sammy." John sighed and Sam looked a bit taken aback. John frowned at Sam's reaction. It couldn't be that his son was shocked because he agreed with him, could it? "It's just I worry more about you and I can't help it. But that doesn't excuse my actions. I guess that worry just comes across in a negative way because Dean isn't getting enough attention. I love you both equally, just know that."
"I know Dad, but Dean doesn't. Just...you know how little he thinks of himself...just really try and show him how much you care. I mean, what if it would have been the real Dean you yelled at after I fell? I was angry at him, sure. But it was because of how little he cared and how he never even seemed to react when I was falling. I think you were just mad that he didn't catch me. Sometimes he won't be able to Dad, and that's okay. I have to be responsible for myself. I know you trust Dean to look after me but he can't be my guardian angel. That talk you had with the shifter...it was really harsh. I'm so glad it wasn't the real Dean. I know that you were upset because you care, but you were way out of line."
John nodded, he understood Sam perfectly. Dean was going through so much in his mind and John could make it a little bit better just by letting Dean know he cares. Dean's emotional problems were worse than Sam's physical limitations. And there was no reason he should have exploded like that. Sometimes he expected way too much out of Dean but he was only human, he could only do so much and every human makes mistakes. With how dedicated and protective Dean was of Sam, there was no reason John should have doubted him. If he ever didn't catch Sam it would have been a mistake, there would have been a reason. Sam was in the safest hands that the world had to offer with Dean. Not that Sam really needed safe hands to be in, he was very well capable of handling himself
"I understand Sam." John said quietly. "Thank you for letting me know about this."
Dean woke a few hours later to find Sam diligently sitting by his bedside.
"Dean!" Sam's grin was a mile wide and Dean could practically feel the relief flooding off of him in waves.
Dean shifted in the hospital bed, his whole body aching and his leg throbbing, but he managed to smile back. "Heya Sammy." He rasped.
"Hey yourself." Sam was still grinning as he placed a water bottle up to Dean's lips and held his head up with his other hand. Sure, Dean was hydrated from the saline solution running through his veins, but his throat was still parched. Once Dean was done Sam pulled the bottle away and fluffed up Dean's pillow for him. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I got hit by a freight train." At Sam's frown Dean chuckled. "I ache and my leg hurts like hell but I'm feeling better. I'm sure I'll feel even better with a good night's sleep. Can we leave?"
Now it was Sam's turn to laugh. "Exactly, you need your rest. This is why the hospital is keeping you overnight." Dean was about to protest but Sam quickly continued. "I don't want to hear it. You're exhausted and still running a fever. But the good thing is you're your infection is going down and so is your temperature. The doctors think you'll be safe in the morning and are being kind enough to release you tomorrow with medication. I'm just glad they were able to handle the infection successfully."
Dean pouted but nodded. He was about to ask where John was when his father came walking into the room with a couple coffees. He grinned when he saw Dean was awake.
"Nice to see you awake kiddo." He placed the coffee's down on the nightstand and walked over to ruffle his son's hair. "Are you feeling any better?"
Dean huffed. "For the second time yes."
John smiled softly, still keeping a hand on Dean's head. "You look exhausted, why don't you try to get back to sleep. I know a hospital bed isn't the most comfortable, but it sure beats a disgusting and cold sewer."
"I'd much rather have one of those coffees." Dean jutted his head towards the nightstand.
"Uh-uh, not with the medication that you're on buddy." John took his hand off of Dean's head and grabbed his own coffee. "Once you're off it you can have as much as you want though."
"I'm hungry." Dean whined and he sounded so much like he did when he was six that John had to laugh.
"I can't believe you have an apatite. Usually if you go so long without food you begin to feel sick. The doctors think you should stick to liquids for a today and I agree."
"Then how about a McDonald's shake?" Dean's eyes lit up and even though that wasn't what John had in mind (soup would have been his choice) he didn't want to deny Dean after all he went through. Even if the shake wasn't exactly liquid to begin with.
"I'll go get it." Sam announced, already digging out the Impala's keys from his pocket.
"No it's alright Sam. You're also exhausted, relax and spend time with your brother, I'll go out." John asked Sam what he would like and then left his boys to talk.
"Well..." Dean coughed. "Maybe this forced stint of me not eating for 60 hours will mean I actually lost some weight."
"Actually it takes about 5 days of starvation for your body to start losing weight. And if you haven't had food for at least a day whatever you eat after that your body will just store as fat." Sam explained as is he was reading out of a text book.
Dean stared at Sam with a blank expression on his face.
Sam blushed. "What? Health class...10th grade..."
Then Dean's face cracked into a grin and he burst out laughing. It hurt like hell, but man was it worth it when Sam joined in just as much.
"Way to make me feel better man!" He said, still laughing. "Whatever. I can't wait to get some food, even if it is that freakin' shake. That was just horrible. Not being able to simply grab something when you're hungry. And then to feel hunger pains and not be able to do anything about it." Dean shook his head. "We don't realize how spoiled we are having food whenever we feel like it, even when we're not hungry."
Sam looked away from Dean, he could feel himself choking up and the last thing his brother needed right now was for him to get emotional. Just thinking about what Dean went through sent a surge of anger and sadness through him.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that Dean. I wish I would have realized sooner." Sam said quietly.
Sam heard Dean grunt as he struggled to sit up in bed. "Sammy, look at me." He ordered and Sam was surprised to hear such strength in his brother's voice. He looked up into Dean's bloodshot eyes, wondering how he didn't recognize straight away that the shifter wasn't his brother. Dean held everything, all his emotions and fears in his eyes...they did say eyes were the window to a soul...so how come Sam missed that?
"None of this is your fault Sammy. The last thing you were expecting was for the shifter to get a hold of me. You weren't thinking about the possibility and it caught you off guard when you did realize it. I'm just glad you did realize it and that stupid plan of yours worked. I'm okay, you saved me man. Just...never do any as risky as that plan again...do you hear me?"
Sam let out a short laugh. "No, I absolutely can't promise you that Dean. When it comes to you, I'd do anything to save you. Absolutely anything, just like you would for me. It goes both ways, jerk."
Dean smiled and Sam could only hope that Dean believed him. "Then I don't want to hear you complaining about me being over-protective ever again, gimp."
"You might have a deal there." Sam laughed before he suddenly got serious again. "And I know what you're thinking Dean. You're telling me not to blame myself for not recognizing the shifter but you're blaming yourself for getting captured by it."
Dean's mouth opened and closed silently and Sam hurried to continue before his brother could get a word out. "I know that's how you think Dean. But since I'm listening to you now you have to listen to me." He stared directly into Dean's flickering eyes. "There is no way you or any other person or hunter would have thought this girl would have been the shifter. It was being careful to act as normal as possible because it wanted to capture you. You just wanted to have a good time and anyone would have acted just as you did. What if Jess had been a shifter or another monster? I wouldn't have known and there was just as strong of a possibility."
"I still should have been more careful." Dean whispered.
"No Dean. We can't go around being afraid that anyone we meet is a monster. We can't throw something silver or spit 'Christo' at every single person we pass by. We just have to go with it and protect each other if something comes up."
Dean seemed to think for a while before he nodded ever so slightly. "That actually makes a lot of sense."
"Wow! You're actually agreeing with something I'm saying about you? Uh-oh, the shifter must have had a partner in crime because you're not acting like my brother."
The returning grin was one hundred percent Dean Winchester. "Shut up!" He batted at Sam only for his brother to wheel out of arm's length.
"It's so good to have you back Dean."
Sam had demanded that he stay overnight with Dean only for both older Winchesters to deny him.
"I'm fine Sammy." Dean had said with a smile. "And besides, there's no bed for you. Do you really want to sleep in your wheelchair? You need to..."
"I know." Sam huffed. "I need to take care of myself and sleep in a bed or else my ass will get sores and my back muscles will cramp, bla bla."
Dean had smirked in return. "That's what you get for being a gimp, gimp."
"And for that remark I don't even feel bad about leaving you alone in this hospital." Sam told him, trying to keep the humor out of his voice.
"Really, it's just one night. And I need my rest; I'll be sleeping the whole time so you won't be missing anything."
And that was that. But Sam had gotten up right at seven the next morning. Urgently waking his father so they could get to the hospital in an hour when visiting hours started. John tried telling Sam to chill out and take his time but Sam had said that Dean would want to get out of the hospital as soon as he could. Sam would never admit this to John, but the truth was that he really missed his brother. After so much time with the shifter, he was almost afraid that Dean would disappear if they didn't get him home safe. He was afraid that the shifter would take Dean's place again. It was an irrational thought sure, but Sam couldn't help but worry for his brother.
They ended up making it to the hospital ten minutes after the start of visiting hours only to find Dean still fast asleep. It only took an hour for him to wake up and by noon they were back at the motel, Dean sitting on the bed against the headboard. There were pillows behind his back to keep him comfortable and pillows under his broken leg to keep it supported.
"I swear you boys are breaking like glass." John chuckled. "First Sam breaks his wrist and now your leg Dean. Not even two weeks after Sam got his cast off you have one on. I'm the old one; it should be me with the weak bones."
Sam had rolled his eyes and Dean had told John to shove off and go buy his poor bed-ridden son some food.
"Fine, but only because I'm a nice father. Don't get used to this though. I'll give you a break for the first week but after that you've gotta start hobbling around and getting things on your own. Don't use this as an excuse to lie in bed all day." John winked.
Dean pouted and tried to put on his best hurt expression.
"Ha, those puppy dog eyes only work with Sammy Dean. Don't even try."
"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up old man, I'm starving over here."
At the word 'starving' John's face changed drastically. Although he tried to cover it up, Dean still caught it. "I'm just kidding with you Dean. I have no problem with getting you food. What do you boys want?"
Dean and Sam listed off the food they wanted and John left. Dean figured this was the perfect time to ask Sam something that he had been wondering.
"Hey Sammy?" Dean asked. His brother was lying sprawled out on the other bed, Sam had said his arms were pretty sore still. Sam never complained, so for him to say something about the pain, it must be pretty intense.
Still, Sam's head shot up when Dean called his name and he started to push himself up with shaking arms. "Do you need anything? Is your leg hurting?" He asked with concern.
Dean waved him off. "I'm fine, now chill out and relax. I just wanted to ask you a question."
Sam slumped back onto his stomach only to use his aching arms to slowly turn himself onto his side so he could have a better view of his brother. "Sure, what is it?" He asked as he leaned over to straighten his legs into a natural position..
Dean hesitated for a second. He knew what he wanted to ask but he couldn't think of how to express it. He bit his lip and decided to just go for it. "What...what did the shifter do? Like...what did it do to make me look bad?"
His question didn't come out exactly the way he wanted but Sam understood nonetheless. "Lots of little things. For one, it wouldn't touch me. It acted like I had a disease just because I'm disabled. And it was just plain rude. It didn't show concern when we were talking to a victim's family and it basically told the Mendel's that it would kill someone it doesn't like."
Dean groaned. "Looks like we won't be getting any invitations to go visit them anytime soon."
Sam shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I for one just want to get the hell outta this town as soon as possible. Nothing good comes from here." Sam shook his head sadly.
"I know what you mean." Dean agreed. "What made you realize it wasn't me? Was it just that it wouldn't touch you?"
"That was a part of it. It also wouldn't sit in my wheelchair like you always do. The Mendel's bird seemed like it wanted to eat its eyes out and it read an entry from a girl's diary without a single problem. But also it just...it didn't care. It didn't have any of your personality though it tried. It didn't joke with me like you do...actually it wouldn't joke at all. It would call me gimp, but it meant it. It just wasn't like you. You're so lively Dean...this thing..." Sam sighed, remembering the story the shifter had told him. "It told me that you had a bad night with the girl at the bar and that she stood you up. I felt so bad for you and I thought that was the reason for your odd behavior. Then it started to eat Dad's cereal..."
"Oh, cereal! Seriously? I don't eat cereal for breakfast!" Dean grunted and made a disgusted face.
Sam couldn't help but smile. "Yeah I know. But the shifter made it seem like...like..."
"Like I wanted to lose weight because of the bad date?" Dean finished for him and Sam nodded, blushing a bit. "Dude, if I wanted to lose some weight, I would exercise more...run, sit ups...not freakin' diet! Diets are for girls! I would never eat food I hate to diet."
Sam was pleased that Dean was openly talking about this without feeling embarrassed. It said a lot and made Sam think that maybe Dean was starting to accept himself. "The thing that made me really know that it wasn't you was the fact that it...after it let me fall it didn't seem to care. It didn't tell me that we would try again or not to give up. That isn't you. You care...a lot."
Sam watched as Dean's face that had recently been regaining its color got pale. Maybe he never should have mentioned the shifter letting him fall...
"Sam, I'm so sorry. You know I would never do that to you. God if I had been there..."
"Dean!" Sam shouted and Dean snapped his eyes back onto Sam's, only to drop his gaze to the bedspread once again. "Don't even go there. I know it wasn't you and you'd never do something like that. I just got a few bruises, that's all. But if I did fall under your care I know..."
"I would never let you fall!" Dean shouted but Sam kept going.
"I know that there would be a reason. That either something was wrong with you or something really distracted you. It would be an accident and I know that you would care. Just know that it won't be the end of the world if something like that happens. We're hunters, there's bound to be a time where I fall out of my wheelchair from a monster and you can't catch me. But I know with my therapy and everything...you'll always be there supporting me."
Dean didn't say anything, just nodded so Sam decided to add a little more.
"The hardest part of it all was realizing that you were never there to watch me. That you missed all of it. I felt so bad, like I didn't wait for you...though I know that wasn't the case."
Dean looked up then. "Will you try again Sammy? Please. I don't want this shifter to ruin the experience of walking for you."
Sam looked over at his brother, studying him. He saw how dejected Dean seemed because he had to miss this major event. He also saw the worry...Dean was worried that Sam wouldn't give something he could love a second chance.
"I will Dean." He found himself saying without even realizing it. "But I don't want to do it without you. I don't want any other person to be standing in front of me, catching me when I trip. I don't trust them, I trust you. So when you get better...when you can stand without being in pain...I'd like to try again. I want you to see me walk."
The answer Sam got was a blinding grin. His brother would have said something in response if it wasn't for John coming back with the food.
"Hey, Dad." Dean asked as John was sorting through the bags of food. "Before we eat, do you think you and Sam could do something for me?"
John turned to look at Dean, seeming a little concerned. "Yeah, of course. What's the matter?"
"Nothing's wrong." Dean replied. He glanced over at Sam's confused face and then back to his father. "It's just...you know the crutches the hospital gave me?" Dean waved over to where the crutches were near his bed. "Do you think...I know Sam doesn't have those leg braces but...he could stand on my crutches for a while if you supported him. I know they're not the type he would use but he could use them just for this. I'd just like to see him at least standing since I missed everything."
Dean rubbed at the back of his neck after his confession. His face was bright red and Sam didn't know why he was so embarrassed. He thought it was really nice of Dean to ask to see him standing. And after everything Dean had gone through, why the hell wouldn't Sam want to give him this?
John smiled, obviously liking the idea but he still looked over at Sam, silently asking if it would be okay with him.
"That sounds like a good idea, yeah I'll do it." Sam smiled at his brother. He knew this wouldn't make up for Dean not being able to see him walk, but it would be something until Dean got better and they tried again.
"That sounds like a good idea, yeah I'll do it." He smiled at his brother. Sam knew this wouldn't make up for Dean not being able to see him walk, but it would be something until Dean got better and they tried again.
Sam scooted himself to the foot of the bed and positioned himself so his legs were hanging over. Holding himself up in a sitting position with his arms he waited as John grabbed Dean's crutches and then returned to his side. Sam watched as John adjusted the length of the crutches so they would be level for Sam's height.
"Uhm...how are we going to do this Dad?" Sam looked up at his father questioningly.
"We'll make it easy enough." John grinned. "I'll pull you up and place the crutches under your armpits when you're standing. I'll deal with your legs."
John leaned down and Sam wrapped his arms around his father's neck. Together they got him standing. John quickly slipped the crutches under Sam's armpits and Sam held on to them, finding it hard to keep balance when his knees weren't locked by the braces. He could already feel himself starting to sway to the side. Luckily John was fast as he knelt down to hold Sam's legs steady. Sam looked away from the floor and over to Dean, feeling awkward and way too tall in the all familiar environment of the motel. It was one thing to stand at the rehab center but a whole other feeling standing in the real world. It felt good and geeze, he really was a giant.
Seeing Dean's blinding grin was enough to make Sam's whole week. Dean sure was smiling a lot these past few days, Sam expected a guy who had been starved in a sewer for three days would have been a bit grouchier. But Dean had already put the event behind him, like he always did. This time however Dean wasn't shoving the memories away to haunt him in the future, Sam really believed that after their talk Dean was truly at peace about everything that happened.
A few more moments passed of Dean simply smiling at him before the older brother looked down, staring at his lap. Sam was worried that maybe this wasn't the best idea until Dean looked back up, tears of happiness and pride in his eyes.
"Well, look at that. My little gimp is standing."
"I wouldn't exactly call him little." John said from the floor and both brothers let out a chuckle.
Dean quickly wiped at his eyes before any tears could fall and grinned again, green eyes sparkling. "I can't wait to see you walk. Let's buy a calendar, I want to count down the days."
Sam wasn't sure if it was possible to love his brother anymore than he did right now.
After his standing experience Sam had complained that he still felt grimy and disgusting and had gone to take a shower. Only about a minute later John sat down on the edge of Dean's bed.
"Hey Deano, you mind if I have a little talk with you?"
Dean raised an eyebrow at his father. "Uh-oh what did I do?"
John gently pushed Dean's shoulder. "Shut it you smart-ass." He laughed and looked down at his son's healing face. "I just...we didn't have much time to talk and I never had the chance to tell you how relieved I am that you're okay."
Dean was a bit confused but just gave a slight nod, allowing his father to continue.
"When Sam told me about the shifter, I almost didn't want to believe him. Even though it was obvious and all the signs he pointed out told me it wasn't you...I almost wanted it to be you because I figured if that thing was a shifter...then...then you..." John looked away for a moment, his voice cracking. Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his father like this...so afraid and open. It sure didn't happen often and he was at loss of what to do or say.
Luckily he didn't have to say anything as John turned back to face Dean. He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "I thought that if the thing sitting in the motel room was a shifter then there was a good chance you were going to be dead." He whispered, regaining his composure. "I had to convince Sam that you were okay even though my mind was screaming that you might not be. It was so hard to hold it together in front of your brother when I knew just how slim the chances were. When I saw you in the sewer I almost didn't believe my eyes. I'm so so glad you're okay son."
Dean smiled lightly. "Where's this all coming from?"
John returned the smile. "When you almost lose your boy, it makes you realize what's really important. And that you should say what you feel before it's too late. I know I don't say this enough but I love you two, you boys are everything to me." John paused for another moment.
"And you underestimate yourself Dean. I want you to know how proud I am of you, of everything that you do. Not just for watching out for your Sam, but for the main thing that matters...for being an amazing brother and friend to him. For how hard you work on everything that you do...you're so dedicated Dean, more than anyone I've ever known. And I'm proud of you for never giving up...on anything. I can see how hard reading and writing is for you, but you keep at it. I know you're frustrated because you haven't gotten better for years now but Dean, your learning has just plateaued and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their limits and it's not your fault, your disability is no exception. You've gotten so much better from where you were eight years ago and I'm so proud of you for that.
"And I don't want you to ever think I judged you because you used to smoke. I was just worried about you Dean, but it didn't make me feel any different about you. Instead of voicing my conerns about it I pushed you away instead and I'm so sorry for that. And do you know how great it was when you quit? I was so proud of you Dean because I knew it took a lot and it just showed how strong you are. Your strength is something I've always admired about you, son."
John smiled as he watched his son blushing and suddenly finding his fingers fascinating. "I wouldn't change a thing about you Dean and I don't want you to. You and Sam are the best sons I could ask for."
And then without warning, John reached over and grabbed his son in a tight hug. Dean let out a surprised gasp, his body going tense for a moment before he relaxed and hugged John back just as furiously. For once Dean let down his wall and allowed himself to rest his head against John's shoulder, feeling safe and loved.
After a minute John pulled back, grinning. "Don't want Sammy to catch us in a chick-flick moment."
Dean laughed; he couldn't remember ever feeling this good. "Yeah, kid might get jealous; you know how he loves his chick-flick moments."
"And just so you know Dean, you don't need to worry about anything that happened when the shifter was here. It's done and over."
The three Winchesters finished off the night by playing a game of cards and watching a movie. About halfway through John realized that Sam and Dean had quit their bickering and criticisms of the movie so he looked over at the other bed.
Sam and Dean were both still sitting up propped against the headboard but they were no longer awake. Sam was slouched down further and his head was resting against his brother's shoulder, looking completely at ease. John's heart swelled at the sight in front of him and grabbed his camera, taking a few pictures to tease his sons with tomorrow. Then he went over and gently moved both of his boys so they were laying down, neither one letting out more than a groan.
Slipping the remote out of Dean's limp hand John turned off the TV, not bothering to finish the movie and got into bed. He had some long overdo business to take care of tomorrow and then they were getting the hell out of Holton and never coming back.