Here's the first chapter, I think there might be a few mistakes in this one and it's not the best but I hope you enjoy it all the same. The bold italics at the start and end are lyrics from Joel & Luke - Loves To Blame which is an amazing song, fits this fanfiction perfectly. Italics are flashbacks, so thats it. Enjoy. x

Time in Time I thought through it we loved and loved

and how we fought each other,

pushing one another to be somebody else.

I stared at the ceiling making out stupid patterns, trying to distract myself from what was going on in the room a few doors down. They had been laughing, talking and making love to each other all morning and night. Everytime she would chuckle and giggle, I could feel my stomach twist in hatred. It hadn't been that long ago when I had been the reason she would laugh like that, so happy and so perfect.

"Stefan!" She shrieked followed by a giggle.

Urgh! I had to get out of here. I picked up the clothes that I had thrown on the floor last night, I walked downstairs zipping my trousers up slowly as I did so and I placed my shirt on. I quietly made my way downstairs not wanting to disturb the fairytale couple upstairs. Downstairs the house was silent, it was nice. It blocked out the pain of having her in the house after she spent the night with my brother.

I grabbed the nearest bottle of bourbon and poured myself a glass. I sat in my arm chair and just stared into the fire. The flames stretched wide and fought each other, the heat radiated strongly around the room, yet I still felt so cold inside. The sunlight poured through the windows and lit the room up with it's morning shine. My gaze never left the fire and at times if I stared hard enough I could see her in there. I could see me and her in the fire, just like it used to be. Just like it was supposed to be.

I thought back to the day I first met the beautiful Elena Gilbert.

I walked into the Grill looking for some girl that I could play with and then later feed on. It had been a long journey back to Mystic Falls and I was parched with thirst. There was bound to be someone here to feed on. I searched around and seen two girls, one with bright blonde hair and the other with dark skin and hair, they were talking in hushed tones until another girl appeared from the toilets.

The girl's brown her fell down her back and she had the biggest grin on her face that it seemed almost childlike. Her eyes were brown matching her hair perfectly, she sat down next to other girl with brown hair and begun laughing loudly at something one her friends said. That's when I realised that this girl looked like Katherine, but no it couldn't be Katherine, she was dead. But she looked so much like her. I walked to the bar and passed the girl's table to listen to her voice, to see if it had the same sarcastic, cocky tone that Katherine's voice had possessed.

"Aw, come on Bonnie really." She giggled at her friend.

It wasn't Katherine, the girl's voice was too innocent, too sweet to be Katherine. Somehow though, this made the girl very appealing. This girl wasn't Katherine she was an entirely different person. It made me want to know her so much more, it was strange for me to feel like this towards a girl.

"Check the hottie out at the bar." One the girls whispered.

"You can only see the back of head?" The sweet girl said.

Tuning out at their petty girl talk, despite how fond I was of the 'hottie' compliment. I ordered myself a drink and within a matter of moments, the sweet innocent girl came and ordered a few drinks for her and her friends. It was completely obvious that they were underage but the blonde boy, who looked the same age as her, handed her the drinks with a cocky grin. She winked and walked off with the drinks, but not before I grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving anywhere.

"How about you stay and have a drink with me?" I said with a smirk.

She raised her eyebrows and smiled at me.

"I don't drink with strangers and I should be getting back to my friends."

"Hi, I'm Damon Salvatore. I live at the Salvatore Boarding House, I travel a lot and I live with my uncle Zack and girls love me. See, now we are no longer strangers." I winked at her.

The girl laughed but walked away with the drinks in her hand. I shrugged she would come back, scratch that, I could hear coming back to me. I smiled, girls really couldn't resist my charm. She tapped me on the shoulder and sat down next to me.

"I'm Elena Gilbert and to find out the rest about you need to earn it." She playfully winked at me.

It was nearly a year ago since I had walked into the Grill and seen her. Why had I messed up the thing that was so perfect in my life? I had been scared to fall in love with a human girl because honestly, I didn't hurt her. I didn't want to make her like me, the monster, she didn't deserve that. Elena Gilbert deserved better than me, I could never be the man she wanted to be. I doubted I ever could. I looked down at my ring and thought about taking it off so the sun could burn me till I was ashes on the ground. I shook my head, no that would be the easy choice to run away from my mistakes and never face them. I deserved to punish myself. I deserved to see her with him after I had been so stupid. I threw my glass into the fire and in hope that it would erase all my mistakes I had made with Elena. The burning flames stretched higher, overlapping one another, all fighting to be the best.

"Damon?"

Elena.

I hadn't even realised she was stood behind me, I turned around to face her putting on my best fake smile I could. I hated pretending that I didn't love her, that I had never cared. that I had only just met her. Elena's hair was messy and she was wearing the clothes from the night before. My ears had not deceived me last night, it was obvious that my saint baby brother had had his way with her, just thought of her in his arms made my fists clench. She used to be my arms, I winced at the memory would this pain ever heal?

"Damon?" She repeated.

"What Elena?" My tone was harsher than I had intended it to be, I just wasn't in the mood for pathetic small talk. I couldn't pretend that I was okay. I couldn't pretend that I didn't love her.

Elena jumped slightly at the harshness in my voice, she hesitated before she spoke. She run her fingers through her hair and her fragile hand got caught in the tangled mess.

"What's -"

"I don't need you're pity, Elena. It's not like you even care, you barely speak to me Elena. You only speak to me when you have to." I hissed at her and as soon as I said it I immediately regretted it.

Elena stared at me, her eyes a mixture of hurt and anger. She shook her head before walking up towards me and slapping me across the face hard. Elena turned away from me and I could hear the tears running down her cheeks. I rubbed my face gently to try and get rid of the sting, I put my hand on her shoulder. Elena slowly turned to face me, her eyes wet and her face slightly red.

"I don't talk to you because I have to, Damon. I never talk to you because every time I try too, you distance yourself from me and I don't want that. I do care about you, Damon. I always have."

I just looked at her and I hated myself for being such a fool this last year. No one would let her go, if they had her but me, I had to be the village idiot and let her go. But she said she always had, did she know? Did Elena remember about us? I shook the idea out of my head, I had compelled her therefore the only way she would remember is if I told to her too. Very slowly, I raised my hand gently to her face and caressed it and to my amazement she didn't pull away from me and her large brown eyes were fixed on me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

When she didn't pull away, I couldn't help but think that maybe me and her should be together now. We would be close to celebrating our first year anniversary next week but I was watching as her and Stefan celebrate their first five months together.

I pulled away when I heard my brother walking down the stairs and she looked at me in confusion when I did. As soon as Stefan was by her side with his arm wrapped around her delicate waist, her confusion was gone and a smile replaced it. Stefan nodded towards me as form of good morning before him and the love of my life walked out of the door together.

I couldn't but wonder if me leaving Elena had been for the best, maybe it was. Maybe eventually time would heal the pain that I had been suffering for so long now. Was the end for us right in the long run? Or should she be with my baby brother? But the questions never had answers, not matter how many times I asked them to myself.

The only thing I was sure of was how much I loved Elena and how much I missed her. I guess for now that had to be enough.

And time and time I've wrestled my thoughts,

Not certain if the end was right or wrong,

And whether we still should be together or with somebody else.

Okay, like I said not the best but it's just a starter thing :P ...Any suggestions for stories PM me or tweet me flyingfireworks ... Please Review and thanks for reading love MidnightGirl467 xXx