Still Joe's P.O.V.

After a while longer of moping around in the park, I finally decided to make my way back home. I stopped by the library first to get my truck, and by the time I arrived home it was nearing 6:00 p.m. I checked my phone, which had been ignored and left in my shorts' pocket up until now. I assumed my mother must have been angry I hadn't checked in with her all day, and wasn't at all surprised to find five missed calls, all from her.

I walked quietly through my front door, trying not to be heard. But there she was the second I entered; her tall, lean figure standing in the middle of the small front room. She looked so much like me with her light brown hair and blue eyes; there was no mistaking we were mother and son. Her arms were crossed and she looked like she was getting very impatient. She had obviously been awaiting my return for a while.

"Hey, mom" I said cautiously. It was never good to be on her bad side.

"Joseph, where have you been?" she demanded, irritation seeping through her voice.

"I was just at the park, it was no big deal." I walked past her and into our living room, crashing down onto the soft leather sofa.

She followed me into the room and continued to stand, towering over me as I hunched down further into the couch. I didn't mind getting into a little trouble occasionally, but when it was my own mother who was angry with me, she was just downright scary.

"Joseph, I received a call from Mrs. West earlier this afternoon. Katy's been worried about you."

My stomach churned the second I heard her name and I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. I didn't want to talk about her, especially to my mother, and especially when I was still feeling so vulnerable.

"Joseph, did you hear what I said?" she asked sternly. Her school principal side was definitely coming out now.

I avoided her gaze but asked quietly, "Well, then why didn't she call me?"

My mother sighed and sat down next to me, the tiniest trace of sympathy now in her voice.

"Mrs. West told me about the fight you two had at the library. Katy thought you were still angry with her and figured it may upset you more if she tried to call. I think you should call Katy and let her know everything's alright."

I winced every time I heard her name; it felt like pulling off a newly formed scab to leave it raw, painful, and bleeding all over again. But it wasn't just a scab. This time, it was my heart.

"She was probably right. I would be upset."

My mother stared at me for several seconds, determinedly trying to interpret my expression. It was never really a thing to show each other our feelings, and I could tell she was having a hard time with it. Not that I could help her much; I really had no idea what I was feeling, either.

Since I couldn't provide her with any clues, she finally let out an exasperated groan in defeat. "Look, you know I don't know what's going on, but you two have been best friends since you could remember." She got up and started walking over to the kitchen to prepare for dinner. "Figure it out and fix it" she called over her shoulder.

I remained on the couch for the next hour, reflecting on the events of the day. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew I was wrong. I shouldn't have acted the way I did, and I needed to let Katy know how sorry I was.

I just wasn't sure if I was ready to face her quite yet. I knew I should talk to her in person, but I couldn't trust myself with how I would react to her being right in front of me.

It actually scared me when I thought about my earlier reaction. It made me come to realize that even though I knew I wouldn't like the idea of Katy dating someone in the first place, maybe my feelings toward the matter were slightly different than I had initially thought.

And just as soon as that realization crossed my mind, new images started dropping into my head. Every smile we gave each other when we greeted, every time I would grasp her in a hug, never wanting to let go. Every time she simply looked at me or touched me in the most casual way, but would still manage to send shivers down my spine. And remembering the time not too long ago when I wasn't thinking and almost kissed her in the hallway before going to rehearsal, but panicking at the last second upon seeing the repulsion in her eyes and trying to cover it up with a peck on the forehead instead.

As all these thoughts swirled around in my mind, I was able to come to one terrifying, painful conclusion. It was never just friendship—not to me, anyway. For me it was so much more, and it always had been. I was just too slow to notice it up until now.

But, for the first time ever, Katy must have been slower than me to catch on to my developing feelings. Or maybe she already had, but was just too disgusted or too put off to even say anything about it. There really wasn't any other option, though, because it was more than obvious she didn't feel the same way.

And if she hadn't figured it out yet, I most certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell her. I wouldn't ever want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way, and the thought of her being awkward around me because she knew how I felt would absolutely destroy me.

That was when I decided to go talk to her. I needed to apologize, and ask for her forgiveness. Then I would tell her how much she meant to me, as a friend. And, as a friend, I would support her wholeheartedly with any decision she made when it came to her love life. I would push away my own selfish desires, because being a good friend always came first, no matter what.

I made the ten-minute walk to Katy's house, rehearsing the speech I would say to her in my head.

Once I arrived, I walked along the concrete path up to the front porch. I took notice of the opened garage door on the side of the house but didn't just want to barge in, so I rang the doorbell instead. No answer. Confused, I pushed the button a couple more times, but still no one came to the door.

Maybe Katy's in the back yard I thought to myself. She does like to go out there to relax, and her mom's probably out getting groceries or something.

As it turned out, I was right. She was right there as I swung open the gate, juggling and dribbling her soccer ball with full concentration across the green lawn.

The very last thing I expected, though, was for a second person to be there with her. But before I could back out through the gate again, before I could leave and bolt from the scene without being noticed, he called out to me.

Everything seemed to pass by in a blur. Katy stood off to the side, an unreadable expression on her face as James introduced himself to me. He was nice, but I hardly took notice as it took all of my willpower to keep from breaking down right then and there.

I knew what I had told myself just moments before: that I would be there for her, no matter who she chose to like. But I never possibly imagined it would feel this agonizingly painful.

Sorry for such a long wait and I hope I can make up for it by posting another chapter in a couple days. Thanks for reading as always and please leave me a review!