The Punk and the Snark (Pt. 13)
The next day was more of a letdown, since it was a return to school and the petty, corrupt, power-games of their fellow students, and Ms. Li.
In English/Literature Arts/Whatever, Mr. O'Neill was prattling on about The Call of the Wild and made a connection between it and some field trip in the woods.
"At least he realizes that the forest and the word 'wild' go together." Bob said to Daria.
"And that's as good as it's going to get." Daria informed him as a sign-up sheet for the field trip was passed to her by Jane, who hadn't bothered to sign it.
Daria didn't either and just passed it to Bob, who took one look at it and said, "Hey, why didn't you and Jane sign up?"
Daria and Jane both turned to look at Bob like he had grown a second head.
"What? I like doing rough stuff like this."
Daria suppressed a sigh and reminded herself that Bob did have a few interests that were different than hers.
"Me and the woods don't go together." Jane informed him sagely, "I've had my fill thanks to my parents hippie ways. Oh, and girl scouts."
"You were in girl scouts?!" Daria said in surprise.
"For about a week before Trent deprogramed me." Jane admitted, "It was nothing but marching and singing, and marching and singing, and... Oh god! I can hear it now!"
"Jane!" Daria snapped, "Calm down before-"
"Jane!" Mr. O'Neill said with full concern, "What's wrong? Is the call of the wild getting to you?"
"Too late." Bob grunted, praying for the bell.
It didn't ring on cue though, dammit!
Especially since the unwanted attention caused O'Neill to notice that they hadn't signed up for the field trip.
"Oh dear!" He exclaimed, "I hope this doesn't have anything to do with your self-esteem girls. Because I don't think that anyone here would judge you for a lack of woodland skills." He laughed to himself, "Since I for one am going to use this trip to really learn how to rough it."
Bob felt a small piece of his soul shrivel up and die at those last two words, not even the rest of the class laughing at O'Neill's bizarre monologue helped.
Daria and Jane however heard the words 'self-esteem' and exchanged looks of matching horror.
They weren't sure if he was thinking about the Esteem course, but the mere notion of being put back into that hell was sickening.
"Give me a pen." Jane grunted darkly to her best friends beau, and then signed up for a wasted Saturday.
But a couple seconds later, Daria's name graced the page and Jane was assured of at least some decent company in hell.