I'm writing this as I'm watching Gilmore Girls. Thought you should all know that :)
Jake carried the wet toddler back to his house, holding his breathe as the urine extended to his nose and trying to sooth the girl down as she continued to sob.
Back his house Jake dropped everything and carried Beth to the bathroom. She needed a bath, she smelled like terrible urine. As Beth began to calm down from crying Jake plugged the tub and turned the water on to make it cool for her.
"Bubbles." Beth said. "Bubbles!"
"Uh...okay..." Jake said as he pulled out his cell phone and called Puck. After a few rings he answered.
"What's up little bro? How's my baby bug?"
"She pissed herself in her pants and smells terrible...please tell me you packed some sort of bubble stuff."
"How in the world can she pee herself? Did you not ask her to go at least once?"
"No I asked her at least ten times. She didn't have to go!" Jake yelled.
"Dude, was she in the bathroom or not?"
"Does it matter?"
"Everyone knows you have to physically bring the kid to the bathroom and ask them!" Puck yelled. "Everyone knows that!"
"I told you already Puck! I. HAVE. NEVER. WATCHED. A KID. BEFORE! I. HAVE. NO. IDEA. WHAT. SHE WANTS!"
"Compare to you and Beiber lookalike fighting during Super hero week when you said you knew what Marley wanted? Finn told me all the words...and too be honest as much as that Beiber kid annoys me—"
"You never met him, just seen him." Jake said. "He's a cool guy. Annoying, but nice."
"Whatever! All I know about that kid is that he's buddies with people I know and he can kick your ass in Call of Duty! And as for the bathroom, everyone knows to bring a kid to the bathroom to ask."
"No, I never watched a kid before! How do I know what she wants!" Jake yelled. "Just tell me if you got bubble stuff!"
"Of course not, if I had thought she'd pee herself I'd pack it." Puck said. "Look see if you have anything if not than she'll be fine."
"Whatever.
"See you later bro."
Jake just hung-up the phone and began looking through the bathroom cabinets. Surley of all the cousins his mom watched over the years, all fifteen of them (why was everyone so sexual in the family?) he found some in the lower sink cabinet.
Once everything was done Jake got Beth into the tub. She just sat there waiting for something to happen.
"What?"
"Toys?"
Jake slapped his hand against his head. "Fine..be right back."
Jake left the bathroom and continued into the living room to get anything that looked like it could float. A second later his phone rang, Kitty was calling. "What Devil?"
"Well jeeze don't be too happy I'm calling...wait, who is this?"
"Jake."
"Damn, I was calling...never mind. How's Quinn's bastard baby?"
"Fine. She's in the bath right now." Jake said, still looking for a toy. "Trying to find a toy for her, but all her toys either aren't bathtub related or they don't float."
"How many toys does she have?"
"A billion!" Jake screamed. "This isn't easy for me."
"Well find something and throw in the tub." Kitty replied. "Hey your voice is echoing."
"Your point?"
"Aren't you in the bathroom?"
"No, living room."
"YOU LEFT THE BASTARD IN THE BATHTUB ALONE!?" Kitty yelled out. "THREE NIPPLES, GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
"What?"
"JUST GO, NOW!"
Jake got up and walked over to the bathroom. He looked inside and saw Beth splashing water around her, making her own fun. "Wow your a psychic. She's making her own fun."
"She's breathing?"
"Of course."
"Your a terrible babysitter! And uncle! You know she could of drowned, right?"
"Really?"
"Oh my god, why in the world did Puck leave her for you again?"
"Well if I suck come over and help me."
"I would, but Puck made me promise that I wouldn't come over and help."
Jake hung-up after that and sat next to Beth in the tub. He kept trying to get the other friends over. He almost got Brittany to come over until a text from Santana told him otherwise. He sat back for a while longer until he started to wash her hair.
Two seconds later.
"Ahhh!" Beth screamed as the shampoo got into her eyes. She began sobbing soon.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Jake said, grabbing a towel and started to pat her eyes so that it could come out. (A/N: A technique I used on myself when I was little!)
After a few minutes or so he managed to stop the tears. He helped finish washing her hair by having her head tilted back for the remainder of the bath. To keep the fun going he sang to her, a song he listened to all the time on his favorite show
"Rubber Duckie, you're the one, You make bath time lots of fun, Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you. Rubber Duckie, joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend, it's true!Rubber Duckie, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you."
Beth seemed to enjoy it.