Sheldon stared open-mouthed at the crumpled parchment for a moment, not fully comprehending what it meant.
After re-reading the document for what could have quite possibly been the millionth time, and with each read-through spawning a million more new questions that subsequently flooded his mind with mass confusion, he set the scroll down on his lap.
Surprisingly though, not one wayward thought was about his roommate Leonard or his inevitable strikes; his mind, it seemed, was too busy focusing on the whole "rescue the fair princess" and "dangerous travels" part.
This was exciting!
From the information given he was fairly certain he could assume that his very own Amy Farrah Fowler was the "fair princess" in question as she was:
a) The most aesthetically pleasing female he knew
b) The only person he knew of who owned both an accurate Disney princess dress and a real tiara
c) His woman
"If anyone wished to, quote unquote, "ruin" my 33rd birthday, preventing Amy from spending the day with me as I had hoped she would, would perhaps be the most effective way to do it." He thought to himself as he scanned his bedroom for any more clues as to how to proceed.
"Wait," he said aloud, "I don't even know if Amy's gone or not, for all I know this is some cruel ruse developed by Howard or Leonard or Raj to get me excited for nothing." He said, quite convinced it was the case.
Picking up his cellphone, he began to call Amy to inform her all about his eventful wake-up call when he saw he had several unread text messages.
To: Sheldon
From: Amy
Time: 10:51 p.m.
I must apologize again that I had to miss our nightly Skype session last night. I have been working late on the special project, but tomorrow's the last day of the project and all the preparation should be done tonight, so I should not have to miss anymore sessions!
-Talk to you soon, Amy Farrah Fowler
Sheldon smiled a little as he read this. He had been a bit disappointed that he had to miss his nightly Skype meeting (he couldn't exactly call it a date as it was neither the 2nd Thursday of the month nor 3rd Thursday in a month with five Thursdays.) but was glad that her project was almost over.
Wait…What project? She hadn't mentioned she was working on a new project before. He wondered momentarily what it was on before reading the next message.
To: Sheldon Cooper
From: Leonard Hofstadter
Time: 12:01 a.m.
Sry for txtng so l8 buddy, i needed 2 let u no we dont hve work tmrrw! Dr. G told me to tell you we hve the day off Raj n' Howrd 2. I'm sleeping Penny's for the nite. TTYL
"Great," Sheldon mentally scoffed "what an awful example of modern language and the ineffective use of abbreviation. Though, I would like to know why have today off."
To: Sheldon Cooper
From: Rajesh Koothrappali
Time: 3:14 a.m.
DUUUUDEEE I'm soooooo drunk man, dfdjkjfdfdf;afada dfa RAJ OUT!
"Junk mail from Koothrappali…again" he muttered, dropping the message into the trash bin.
To: Sheldon Cooper
From: 671-269-0711
Time: 6:00 a.m.
Greetings Sheldor, I will serve as Dungeon Master as you go on your quest. I will answer any questions you have. When you have decided your 1st move reply to this number and we will proceed, we will decide your starting stats when you reply as well.
He snorted slightly at this; obviously he had a million questions and nary the typing space to write them all.
Though, the DM did bring up a good point, he needed to have his stats decided before he did really much of anything, how much good of a knight can he be if he only has 3 in strength and 1 in intelligence?
He went to the last message.
To: Sheldon Cooper
From: 671-269-0711
Time: 6:01 a.m.
Good luck Sheldor, I hope you are successful in your quest and save your princess and ring in time.
Sheldon inhaled deeply. Of course he needed to "save" Amy and not just so he could win the D&D game, he nee-wanted her to spend his birthday with him.
"I hope you save your princess indeed" he thought condescendingly, "of course I'll rescue her! That is assuming of course, she hasn't saved herself first, she is very resourceful like that."
However, at the back of his mind he was still unsure if she was part of this elaborate adventure or really taken. He would hate himself to have indirectly forced her to participate in this fascinating game because he knew she didn't share his love of these fantasy adventures, which was really such a shame because he was really intrigued by the morning's events, and he's only been up for ten minutes!
Just as Sheldon finished that thought his phone buzzed again.
"Curiouser and curiouser," Sheldon muttered suddenly quoting Louis Carroll as he opened the new message.
To: Sheldon Cooper
From: 671-269-0711
Time: 6:11
Turn the scroll over.
"Turn the scroll over?" he said indignantly, "Who does this DM think he is, I have an IQ of over 180, if there were anything on the back of this scroll doesn't he think I would have seen –OH! There's a hidden riddle on the back! That is a saucy twist"