Acceptable Risk

Chapter 4

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Emily's eyes flew opened; she heard Reid's voice begging somebody. Jumping off her bed, she grabbed her Glock from the night stand and moved quickly, thankful the floors were carpeted.

She opened her bedroom door and saw that the hallway lights were on dimmer. She moved to Reid's room and rapped on his door quietly, "Reid?" she whispered.

No sound.

She put her ear on the door and could hear him groaning; he must be dreaming.

"PLEASE DON'T DO IT! MAEVE..." Emily gasped, she felt hopeless for her friend. Reid was having a really bad dream, no doubt reliving his dead girlfriend.

She tried the door knob, it turned. She moved slowly into his room, again she was thankful it was not completely dark as he had left the bathroom light on, the light streaming into room. Emily looked for the bed and saw that Reid had kicked the covers off his body. His lanky locks were all over his face, his hands hanging over the bed. Emily moved to the edge and put her weapon on the night stand and tried to rouse him gently, she didn't want to shock him right away; she knew the dangers of rousing a deep sleeper.

"Reid, it's Emily, wake up." She rubbed his shoulders gently again.

Reid, still deep asleep, turned suddenly, caught her unaware, flung his hand over and hit her hard on her head, smacking her off the bed.

As she was thrown off the bed, Emily hit the back of her head hard against the foot board and fell down.

The sound seemed to snap Reid as he stood up but to him, he thought it was a gunshot.

"YOU!" He made to grab Emily and began to punch her.

"Oof! No! Reid! It's Emily! Stop!" She tried to cover face as Reid continued to rain punches on her.

"You kill her! Why did you kill her! I tried to reason with you. We could work it out. You could spare her. Damn you, Diane! I'm not going to let you get away with it. You kill Maeve!" He kept on hitting Emily as he yelled at her.

"Reid, no! Listen to me, hear my voice, it's Emily! Stop!" She heard her shirt ripped as she felt more blows on her shoulders and chests. Her ears and head were ringing soundly. She didn't know how much longer she could bore.

Then suddenly the punching stopped.

Then she heard Hotch's voice in the room, "Reid! Stop!" He yelled at Reid as he held onto him. Then he slapped the young doctor hard across his face. It sent Reid to the carpeted floor.

Hotch was heaving heavily as he rushed and helped Emily up, "Are you okay?" His hands were running all over her face to check for injury.

Reid shook his head a couple of times before he turned and sat up, "Wha…why…did you hit me, Hotch?" He was rubbing his cheek. Then he noticed his knuckles were red and began rubbing them.

"Emily? What's going on? What happen to your face?" Reid saw the injuries on her and was puzzled

Hotch and Emily looked at one another before turning to Reid, Hotch asked him, "You don't remember anything?"

Reid shook his head, "No…I…What…I…Something happened?"

Hotch shook his head, "I don't' know." Then he looked at Emily.

"Em, what happen?"

She pushed Hotch's hand from her face and sat upright and told them of Reid's nightmare and her subsequent beating until Hotch's rescue.

"Damn it Emily! That was foolish! What if I couldn't hear you?" Hotch was angry.

"I hit you? Oh God, Emily, I'm so sorry." Reid covered his face with his hands.

Emily leaned over and ran her hand over his hair, "Hey Spencer, it's okay. Look, it doesn't hurt, really, you hit like a girl anyways." She tried to lighten his mood." She didn't want to tell him that yeah, it really hurt like a son of a bi… but she didn't want to make it worst for him.

"Spencer, look at me." She tried to console him.

He didn't for a moment and then, she slowly peeled his hands off his face, he didn't put up a fight as he let her.

She continued, "Hey, kiddo. I'm okay. And I want you to listen, I'm glad it's me you did it to and not anyone else. I can't imagine the consequences if it's anyone else. But I want to know. What happen? What trigger it?"

Reid thought for a moment. "When we were downstairs earlier, when you stood up, you mention negotiations and for a moment you look like her…Diane and all the hatred for her came out. I know it's a stupid thing. I should have gotten rid of it. I should have been able to handle the situation. She's dead. She can't come at me again." His voice faded away.

Emily looked down, "Spencer, you are in a room with two people who had been through horrible deaths up close. Hotch losing Haley, I …well, I almost died. It's never closed."

"She died needlessly, Emily." Reid whispered.

Emily nodded, "They all did. But we have to move on. I know it's hard but we have to get on with our lives. So many people depend on us, especially our jobs."

Hotch added on, "Emily is right, I have Jack to move on. When I lost Haley, I didn't want to do anything. Jessica was a load of help. Without her, I probably would have lost Jack too." It was the first time he had admitted something so intimate. Emily and Reid stared at him, grateful that he would trust them to admit something like this to them. They both knew Hotch was a very private person and would never share something so personal with them.

"I know I saw Maeve only once but I knew her for a long time. She was my forever."

Emily nodded, she knew what he meant. True love was forever. True love was a rare find.

She didn't know what to say; she didn't have a loved one died for her. She only almost lost herself and that didn't count.

Ian Doyle's death didn't count for anything, she was glad that piece of dirt had died; he had killed so many. His son was better off without that son of a bitch.

Reid turned to look at Hotch who nodded at him. Reid said softly, "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to tell you how I really feel about her death. How I dealt with it."

Emily stood up gingerly to the bathroom and took a washcloth and wet it with warm water, it was then she saw her reflection on the mirror and almost gasped aloud; her face was covered with red pelted marks, her lips were cut and bleeding and was swollen, there was a cut across her left brow as well that began to bruise. Her neck was red with blotchy that also began to bruise. Her tee shirt was torn half way down, exposing a lot of cleavage, her face reddened with embarrassment as she was not wearing a bra and she knew the guys must have seen a lot of her chests. Well, it was too late to be acting modest. She tried to push the worn material together but they flapped out again on their own. She sighed as she turned, no time for modesty, she repeated to herself; she hoped the guys wouldn't notice; how had that happen?

Shaking her head, she left the bathroom, carrying the warm washcloth and knelt by Reid and wiped his face with it tenderly.

Reid smiled shyly at her as he nodded his thanks.

"I'm fine now, I think."

Emily smiled back and said, "Yeah, Spencer, I think you'll be. I think you'll be." She kissed him on his cheek. "Get to bed. You need your beauty sleep."

He nodded as he stood up, as well as Hotch who had been quiet the whole time observing them, or more her.

They watched him climbed into his bed like indulgent parents before they bade him good night and closed the door.

Emily walked towards her door before she was about to say good night to Hotch when she noticed he was standing right next to her.

"Let's talk in your room." He said as he ushered her in, and closed the door before she could protest.

She walked into the room and towards the dresser drawers, intending on getting another T-shirt to replace the torn one when Hotch held her hand, stopping her from taking another step.

He pulled her into the bathroom, filled the basin with warm water, found a washcloth. Then turning to her he said, "Sit down."

She nodded as she turned around and hopped on the counter and sat by the sink. He soaked the washcloth into the warm water before pulling rinsing it off and began cleaning her face.

"You know, what you did was really foolish and damn dangerous."

She nodded, as she tried not to flinch as he wiped the blood which had dried off her lips.

"Sorry but he was having a nightmare and sounded really scared." She tried to defend herself.

He sighed as he repeated the process, "Why didn't you come and get me?"

"I didn't want to bother you, Hotch." She reasoned.

"You know I don't mind, Emily."

"I know, besides he is a light weight. I can take him anytime."

"That's not the point…"
He was going to point out more argument but Emily stopped him.

"Hotch, it doesn't matter. We got him to talk."

He stopped his actions and looked at her. Then he leaned close to her, "Em…"

She responded likewise by leaning towards him but something in the back of her mind stopped her. The image of Beth Clemmons popped up.

Emily leaned back as she put her hand on his shoulders to stop him. "No Hotch."

Confused, he asked, "Why?"

"You know why. Aren't you still with Beth? I don't want to be a complication." She quickly hopped down from her perch and left the bathroom and walked to the door of her room and said, "It's late, Hotch, we have an early start in the morning. I'll see you then." She looked down on her toes.

A minute later, she saw Hotch walked out of her room without a word.

Emily closed her door shut and leaned her head against it; damn fool!

So close, he could have been all she had ever dreamed of.

Just one kiss would have destroyed all she had worked to separate why she was here in London, and he in DC…well, his permanent address.

Damn you, Aaron Hotchner!

She pulled herself away from the door and grabbed a shirt before she climbed into bed.

Sleep was a long time in coming.

In the bedroom next to hers, Hotch was having a hard time falling asleep as well.

Why didn't he tell her that he and Beth was no longer an item?

It was really easy, simple to just say it. But it didn't come out.

Why the hesitation? Why the reluctance?

He had never felt anything but a friendship for Beth Clemmons since they went out. When she kissed him? He didn't feel it.

He tried to give them something. But it just didn't work out. She felt it. That was why she decided to take the job in New York.

He was sad to see her go but to be really honest, he was glad. His heart was not in it. He couldn't help but think about Emily whenever he was with Beth; wondering what she was doing, whom she was with.

When she announced her decision to leave the BAU, it shocked him. He thought she would stay with him for a long time. He thought he had time with her.

What an idiot he was. Yes, he took her for granted.

He was happy for her when he heard where she was heading; to head the INTERPOL in London.

Now they were equal.

BUT they were thousands of miles apart!

She wanted to move on from him.

Of course she wanted to move on from him, you idiot! You had a girlfriend back then! You'd been flaunting your girlfriend in front of her, rubbing it in; you even brought her to JJ's wedding, how do you think she'd felt about it, genius? You hurt her ego! Of course she'd want to put as much distance she could.

Hotch tried to find a comfortable position in the large bed but he was mad at himself as sleep eluded him for quite some time.

It was early hours before the two agents finally fell asleep through exhaustion.

….

End of Chapter 4