Hakuouki: Hijikata

by Rikkumorningstar

This is a retelling of his side of the story but if anyone feels offended that I am doing this then please let me know and I will stop... Otherwise like the title says this is Hijikata's side the of game by IDEA FACTORY. I personally think everyone should get to know how it truly happened and not just how the anime tells it... Rated M since the game was

19. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

January 1869

I got my summons from Otori right after the Matsumae Domain fell.
The Matsumae Domain had, until then, governed the island of Ezo.
If Hijikata and the rest of the loyalist forces were to operate in Ezo, then Matsumae was, by necessity, their first target.
I crossed to the island just as Otori had instructed, booking passage on a Russian merchant ship.
I arrived to find the land of Ezo covered in snow.

"Hello there, Yukimura."
When I arrived at Hakodate, it was Otori who came to pick me up.
"Thank you so much for arranging all of this."
I gave him a short bow.
"And… Congratulations on establishing the Republic of Ezo."
After conquering Matsumae, they'd wasted no time in establishing the country that had been proposed back in Sendai.
"Well, calling it a republic is a bit of an exaggeration."
He smiled.
"As soon as the elections were finished, I sent for you."
"Elections?"
As quickly and simply as he could, Otori explained the concept of an election, and how it gave everyone a voice in the government.
"Then…everyone has a say about who's in power."
I'd never heard of such a thing before, but it seemed like a good idea.
"Enomoto is our president at the moment. He's the only one who can call the whole government together."
Otori had taken the post of Minister of the Army, and Hijikata was Vice-Minister of the same.
"…You had to wait for three months, I understand. Were they long?"
"…Yes."
I nodded.
Still, the fact that they'd already defeated the Matsumae Domain and established their own government spoke well for the excellence of the one-time shogun's former military.
Three months had been a long time for me, but to the world of war and politics, it was scarcely the blink of an eye.
Otori and I chatted as we walked, but when the subject of Hijikata came up, his expression clouded.
"Ever since we came to Ezo, Hijikata's been…different."
"Different? How?"
"He's nicer to his men, which is good, but he spends too much time locked away in his room. He says he spends most of his time there deep in thought, and he won't let anyone come by."

I wasn't quite sure what to say.
Otori seemed to sense it and, instead of continuing the conversation, reached into his pocket to remove an envelope.
"I think he needs you."
"Me…?"
My heart skipped a beat.
"This document officially appoints you to your position. You can get the details after you give it to Hijikata."
"…Thank you."
I took the letter from him and bowed.

The year was coming to an end.
I changed into the western clothes I'd brought-it was going to take time to get used to them-and headed for Goryokaku.
The main hall was full of people, all of them there to celebrate the establishment of their new government.
But Hijikata wasn't among them. He was in his room, alone.

I took a deep breath, then rapped my hand against the door several times in quick succession. Otori had called it "knocking," and told me that it was customary to do it when opening a western-style door, too signal whoever was inside.

After a few seconds of silence, a tired voice drifted out.
"…I'm not attending. This isn't the time for a party."
I knew that voice very well.
I put my hand on the doorknob and turned.
"Excuse me."
He turned toward the door, preparing a half-hearted tirade for whoever had intruded on his solitude.
When he saw me, the words froze in his throat.
"Chizuru Yukimura reporting as ordered. I have been assigned to serve as Vice Minister Hijikata's page, by Minister Otori."
His mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, finally closing with a snap. He stared at me intently for several more seconds, then frowned.
"It's a mistake. I haven't been told about this."
I handed him the letter Otori had given me.
"I was given these orders from Minister Otori earlier."
He snatched the envelope from me with a scowl and tore it open. His eyes scanned the page rapidly, his frown deepening with each line.
When he finished, he shot me a sharp look and thrust the letter and its envelope back into my hands.
"No. Take it back. I can't approve this posting."
"…I understand."
I nodded and took the letter from his outstretched hand.
Then I tore it to pieces.
"What are you doing…?"
He looked shocked.
"I don't care if you don't approve of these orders. I shouldn't have relied on them in the first place."
I'd tried to force Hijikata to let me stay with Otori's orders. Now I saw how wrong that had been.
I hadn't come to Ezo because I was ordered to.
I'd accepted Otori's help and come to Ezo because I wanted to be with Hijikata. That was all that mattered.
"I came here because I wanted to. I want you to let me stay. Here. With you."
I couldn't let orders be the reason: He had to make that choice.
Hijikata frowned and looked away.
"Not fair for me to be the only guy with the luxury of a girl for a page. Especially when I'm sending men off to die."
"Is…is that why you left me?"
He fell silent and shifted, uncomfortable.
Then that was why…
"Stop this!"
Before I realized it, I was yelling. Hijikata looked equally surprised.
"You always do this! You decide you can't do somethin, and then you make up all the excuses you need to justify it! You say you're doing it for my feeling, but you don't even know what they are!"
When he'd left me behind, Hijikata had said that he couldn't make me happy, and that I should go live my life.
But he was what made me happy, and I wanted to live my life with him.
Now he was trying to push me away again, so that he could bear his burden alone.
I couldn't let him do that.
"You take on so much, and you won't let anyone else help!"
"That's my job."
There was an edge of anger to his voice.
"If I can handle it, then it's my responsibility to!"
I screamed back at him at the top of my lungs.
"What about the people who have to watch you do this?!"
I'd watched him torture himself this way for too long: every hardship, every burden, was his and his alone to suffer in solitude.
And I hadn't been the only one. Inoue, Yamazaki, Kondou… They'd all had to watch, and so had plenty of other people who cared about him.
"I can't let you do this to yourself! I want to be here for you! I want to help you! What else am I supposed to do?!"
Hijikata suddenly became blurry, and I realized that there were tears filling my eyes.
He fell silent.
Then, after several moments of silence, he sighed and slumped.
"…I give up."
I blinked.
"…Can't fight an Edo woman. Better to just listen to 'em, I guess."
His voice was gentle, and he looked up with a wry smile.
Then suddenly, his arms were around me.
I let myself sink into his chest, speechless.
He held me tight, as if now that he finally had me, he didn't ever want to let go.
"Ever since you left…"
He stopped, and I could sense him trying to organize his feelings. I got the impression he was…confused.
"I've figured so things out."
His arms tightened. Whatever distance had separated us in the past was long gone now.
"You…supported me. Guess that's the best way to put it."
He sounded slightly bewildered, as if even he couldn't believe what he was saying.
He wasn't the only one.
"…When you're not…here, it's hard for me to…to deal with it. All of it. Life, I guess."
My heart swelled with each word he spoke.
"You saved me."
I could feel the warmth of his body touching every part of mine. I couldn't stop crying.
"…Chizuru… Do you think the Shinsengumi still stands for what it means to be a true samurai? Have I done what I was supposed to? Have I led us down the right path?"
I nodded.
"The soul of the Shinsengumi that our friends believed in is alive in you."
Then after a moment of thought, I continued.
"In face, I think it's even stronger now. We've been through a lot but it's brought all of us together."
"Hearing you say that makes me happy."
His voice was warm.
"The men the Shinsengumi has left are true samurai. No more need for the iron fist."
"…Yes."
Everyone in the Shinsengumi had the same goal in sight now.
With that unity of vision came a clarity of purpose, and I hoped that without the necessity for discipline and management, Hijikata's burden might ease a little.
"Well, from now on, please don't try and hide your problems from me. I'm here to help you. You don't have to do this alone anymore."
He was silent then, but his arms stayed wrapped around me.
Then at last he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.
"…Stay with me."
As Vice-Minister Hijikata's page, I spent every day assisting him in his duties.
Since coming to Ezo, he'd seemed much more at ease during the daylight hours. Perhaps there was something about the northern climate that was affecting his fury blood.
My job saw me spending more time around Hijikata than I ever had before, and he began treating me quite nicely.
I felt a little bad that I was getting spoiled, but whenever I was around him my heart soared and my breath came a little faster.
Then one day just after the beginning of the new year, Otori came to visit Hijikata.
"Please, have some tea."
"Oh, thank you."
He gave me a warm smile as I handed him his tea.
"Your assistant here is quite something. Tell me, where did you find her?"
Hijikata narrowed his eyes.
"…Well, I think some samurai wannabe had her sent over here without my permission. You know anything about that?"
He glared at Otori, who only laughed.
"Oh, I was only doing it for your sake, you know. …Although, I'm a bit jealous now."
He glanced at me before continuing.
"A cute, dedicated efficient page… What man could ask for anything more?"
I blushed.
"No, I'm…um…"
My cheeks felt like they were burning up. I tried to busy myself with the tea, and avoided anyone's eyes.
Hijikata glanced at me for a moment, then back at Otori, his face calm and serene.
"…I agree. So long as she sticks with me, I don't think I'll need anybody else."
I nearly dropped the tea.
Otori also looked rather surprised, but quickly raised his cup to his lips in an attempt to hide it.
I felt as if I should say something, but…

When I opened my mouth, nothing came out.
Hijikata, of course, remained entirely unruffled, and sipped at his tea as if he'd done nothing more exciting than comment on the weather while Otori and I recovered.
Otori finished a very, very long sip, coughed awkwardly, and spoke.
"I, ah, didn't think I'd hear something like that from you, Hijikata. …I'd want a wife like her too."
Hijikata laughed.
"Well, she's mine. You'll have to find one of your own, because there's no way I'm letting her go."
Otori laughed.

My face was growing hotter by the moment.
By now my ears were probably the same shade of brilliant scarlet as my cheeks.
Otori looked at Hijikata and me, and laughed again.
"Well, with Hijikata in this sort of, ah, mood, I suppose I shouldn't stay too long, hm?"
With a one last grin at me, he turned to Hijikata. When he spoke, his voice was grim.
"Do you think they'll be coming?"
"They"…?
Who were they talking about?
Hijikata showed no sign of being surprised, but I saw the good cheer of a moment before fade from his face as well.
"Yeah. Soon as the snow melts."
Otori nodded.
"Well, if you think so too, I'm convinced. I've been thinking the same thing myself. Enomoto wants to try and work things out diplomatically, but I don't think we'll get out of this without at least some fighting."
"…Yeah. There'll be a fight, that's for sure. No way the Imperial Army's gonna just forget about us."
"Oh…"
At last, I understood.
"Enomoto can hope for peace if that's what he wants to do, but the army should be ready to move as soon as spring's here."
"Of course. Don't worry about Enomoto and his cabinet. I'll deal with them."
Hijikata nodded.
"Huh. Gotta admit, before we came here, I never thought you and me would ever see eye to eye."
Otori gave a short laugh.
"Yes, well, we did get off to a bit of a rocky start. Neither of us was born a samurai, but we went about becoming that in different ways."
They shared a short grin.
"The family you were born to isn't important. It's what you make of yourself that matters."
Otori and Hijikata were two very different people, but listening to his passion as he talked, there was no doubt that he was similarly admired by his men.
His words resonated with me especially… I was born into a family of demons, but here I was.
"We chose to fight for what we believed in. That path lead us here. That's all there is to it."
Hijikata smiled and nodded.
"Our ambition will never waver. We'll fight till the end, and give it all we've got."
Otori smiled back, relieved.
"Thanks for your time."
He bowed to both of us, stood up, and let himself out.
"There's going to be a battle?"
I set about clearing the teacups.
"C'mere, Chizuru."
He turned and stepped out of the room without even waiting for my response.
"Huh? Um…"
I set the teacups down again, and trotted after him.
Outside the wind was frigid. Without thick clothing, it cut straight through to the bone.
We looked out over Ezo, blanketed in snow.
"See those mountains.
"…Yeah…"
Some miles distant, a row of snow-covered peaks thrust their way up into the slate-gray sky like jagged teeth.
"They'll attack Hakodate through those mountains."
"Why not from the ocean?"
They'd have to come by ship-there was no other way to Ezo. They meant they'd have to land somewhere to unload troops, so I'd assumed they'd try and take the port first.
Hijikata seemed to think otherwise.
"No, they're smarter than that. We've got the advantage if they just try to take the port. If the Imperial Army comes to Ezo, they'll probably land in Otobe. Maybe Esashi."
I nodded.
From what I remembered of the maps of Ezo I'd seen, Otobe and Esashi lay on the opposite side of the mountains.
"Once their men are over the mountains, they'll have their navy open fire on Hakodate. Attack us on two fronts."

We were at a disadvantage then.
"Isn't there anything we can do?"
"Not if they attack from the ocean. If it turns into a naval battle, we're screwed. The battle here at Goryokaku will be my last. This is the last place I'll ever draw my sword as a samurai."
"Hijikata…"
Did that mean he believed he would die?
I was desperate to talk about something else, anything else, and so I said the first thing that came into my head.
"If they don't come…then what will you do?"
There was no doubt that the would come, but I couldn't help but dream that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't.
Hijikata didn't even seem to consider how ridiculous of a question it was. He only shrugged and replied matter-of-factly.
"If they don't come for us, this whole thing ends. Won't be any need for something like the Shinsengumi anymore."
A new era, where samurai weren't needed? Where men were no longer compelled to draw swords against one another?
Could such a future ever come to pass?
I felt my heart swell with a desperate hope that it might.

No sooner had we stepped back into the inviting warmth of Hijikata's office than his expression suddenly shifted.
His body changed as I watched, his fury nature forcing itself to the fore.
"Hijikata!"
"Don't worry. I've been doing pretty good since I came to Ezo…"
He forced out a smile even though he was clearly in pain.
"Looks like my body's getting worse. Hope it'll hold up till spring at least."
Did he mean that he was ready to throw away his life so long as he lived to fight in one last battle?
When I spoke, I was surprised to find myself shouting.
"Please, don't say that! Didn't I tell you why I'm here"
I unbuttoned my collar, exposing the pale flesh of my neck, and stepped toward him.
"Please, don't say you just want to live until spring. I need you to live longer than that. Much longer."
Tears fought to get out, but I swallowed and pushed them back.
"I'm not going to let you go!"
"…You're a scary girl, you know that."
He smiled, although the pain twisted it into a heart-wrenching grimace.
His hands clasped my shoulders, and I felt his lips brush my neck.
"…Haven't tasted any blood in a while."
I blinked.
"You haven't had an since you left me back in Sendai?"
He fell silent, and I guessed I was probably right.
"Why…?"
I almost asked "why not," but decided it was probably best that I didn't.
He likely wouldn't have answered, and I suspected I already knew the reason.
If he only cared that his body lasted until spring, then he likely hadn't been taking care of it.
That stubbornness was a double-edged sword to be sure, but it was part of what made him him, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
"My blood must taste awfully good."
I felt him stop suddenly for a moment, surprised, but his lips stayed pressed against my neck.
"Because I'm a demon. In fact, it must be so good that you don't want to drink anyone else's blood."
He let out a soft snort of surprise.
"…Well, maybe you're right."
When his lips touched my neck again, they felt very, very gentle.
Before long, winter gave way to spring.
The snow melted, but the weather remained cold.
We received the disquieting news that the Imperial Army's navy was headed for Ebisu.
The report claimed they meant to lay anchor in Miyako Bay.
Since the Republic of Ezo didn't have many warships, a plan was hatched to capture the enemy flagship. They could damage enemy morale and bolster their own fleet in one fell swoop.
Hijikata was selected to participate in the operation, but I was ordered to remain at Goryokaku.
While he was away, I divided my time between being terrified that he might never return and praying for his safety.
To my great relief, he did return from the Ironclad Seizure Operation at Miyako Bay.
I was so glad to see him that I burst into tears. He gave me a wry smile and a few sarcastic words, but he stayed with me until I stopped crying.
Unfortunately, the Ironclad Seizure Operation had been a failure.
One of our ships had been lost, and with it a talented captain. A number of soldiers had died as well, including several men from the Shinsengumi. The flagship had eluded capture, and the attack had ended in a rout.

I sat stunned, and listened to him recount the ordeal. When he finished, he looked me straight in the eye and spoke.
"You've still got time, Chizuru. Get as far away from Hakodate as you can."
His tone was dead serious.
"You can take a Russian or British ship. I'll get everything worked out. You won't have to worry about a thing."
His eyes were pleading. I understood what he was trying to do.
Hijikata knew the Shinsengumi would almost certainly lose the battle that would soon be upon them.
He wanted me to escape to safety, somewhere where Hakodate would be a distant memory. He wanted me to survive.
…But he intended to die.
"…I want to stay. With you."
It warmed my heart to know that he cared for me, but I couldn't leave him alone to die. I wouldn't.
"Please, don't send me away. I want to be with you."
When he'd been gone on assignment at Miyako Bay, I'd felt empty, as if some integral part of me was missing. Even breathing had felt painful.
A life without him would break my heart in two.
"…I won't ever leave you again."
He knit his eyebrows in worry and looked at me silently for several long moments, then finally let out a sigh.
"Fine. If it means that much to you, you can stay. …You really are a weird one."
He grumbled about is as usual, but at least he'd capitulated.
I could see his mind working hard as his eyes flicked back and forth in miniscule amounts.
"You're worried about me, right?"
"…Of course."
He looked away and answered with too much forced nonchalance.
"Well, if you're worried about me, then don't let me out of your sight, okay? It'll be your job to keep me safe."
I smiled at him, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.
"And you can't do that if you're dead, can you?"
He thought about that for several moments.
"True, I can't let you out of my sight…"
He wasn't quite willing to commit to the rest, it seemed, but I was happy that he would admit to wanting to live, if only a little.

It was may when the imperial Army began to march toward Ezo.
Just as Hijikata had predicted, they landed in Otobe and moved their forces through the Matsumae and Futamata Passes.
Otori led the men who had been assigned to hold the Matsumae Pass, and Hijikata the men assigned to Futamata.
I had accompanied Hijikata to the Futamata Pass, where we waited for the enemy to show themselves.
Even though the snow had long since melted, the weather was still quite cold, and it grew even worse during the night.
Some night, it was enough to make men stationed out of doors lose sensation in their hands and feet.
On one such night, Hijikata appeared at the makeshift barracks with a barrel of alcohol.
"Battle's gonna start soon. I'll be counting on you guys."
"O-Of course, sir! Thank you, sir!"
Hijikata went down the lines, pouring a cup for each soldier.
"We can't afford to rest unfortunately, but I figured at least you could have a little sake."
It wasn't every day that a general went down among his men to pass out alcohol, and it was easy to see that the gesture had moved and inspired them.
"I'd like to just give you as much as you want, but we don't know when the fighting's gonna start. And we sure as hell don't wanna be drunk when they attack, right?"
A ripple of laughter moved through the men.
"So, sorry I gotta be a killjoy, but for now you only get on cup. Once this fight's over, you can have as much as you want."
"Yeah! We'll make it through this! …No, screw that! We're gonna kick ass, so we can come back here and get drunk! That's something worth fighting for!"
The soldiers laughed and cheered, and Hijikata even joined in.
The whole army was tense with the anticipation of battle. Every person at the Futamata Pass knew that it would be a difficult one.
But Hijikata's visit had raised their spirits and bolstered their resolve. The frigid spring night seemed a little bit warmer.
A Hijikata and I walked back to his tent from the barracks, the soldiers still talking and carousing behind us, I finally spoke.
"Hijikata, are you all right?"
He looked down at me, one eyebrow raised.
"Um…"
I was at a loss for words. Something had made me nervous, but I couldn't put my finger on what…
"You're…you're not drunk, are you?"
He grinned and gave a snort of laughter.
"What, that's it? C'mon kid, I only had one cut. I can hold my liquor."
The smile faded from his face and his gaze slipped into the distance.
"They're like…sons to me, you know."
I knew how he felt.
The men in that barracks had gathered to the battle standard of the Shinsengumi. Their warrior souls longed for the honor and righteousness the Shinsengumi stood for.
"Not much I can do for them now. Seems like a little sake's the least I can give them."
There was no option of retreat from the Futamata Pass. If the enemy overwhelmed us, or our ammunition ran out, then the Imperial Army would slaughter us and march to Ezo.
But even in the face of such odds, no one doubted Hijikata. Each and every man there was prepared to fight, and to die, if that was what he called upon them to do.
Sake was a small thing to give them in return, but perhaps it was enough.
"…I'm sure they understand how you feel."
He blinked, his eyes coming back into focus, and turned to look at me. His face broke into a warm smile.
"Well, if you think so, then I must've done something right."

I felt my face flush.
Well, I thought to myself, I need to tell him how I feel more often.

By early the June, the weather had begun to warm up.
Unfortunately, with the warm weather came battle at the Matsumae Pass, and Otori's men were routed by the Imperial Army.
Hijikata and his men were ordered to retreat from Futamata and return to Goryokaku in Hakodate, where the final battle would take place.
Everything had gone just as Hijikata had predicted.

After returning to Hakodate, Hijikata immediately left for Benten Fortress.
Benten had been built on a section of man-made land that extended out into the ocean. It was outfitted with an artillery battery to fend off attacks by hostile navies.
Hijikata's purpose there was to meet with Otori and other members of the Shinsengumi.
"It's been a while, Hijikata, sir!"
Clearly far too long for Shimada, who looked delighted to see his old friend.
When he noticed me, he grinned even wider.
"I'm glad you're doing well too. I hear you're Hijikata's page now."
"Yes, he's decided to let me stick around."
I grinned back.
"I don't know if I can live up to the bar you set, but I'm doing my best!"
Shimada shook his head and laughed.
"No, nobody can do what you do."
I blinked.
"Huh?"
Hijikata gave a heavy sigh.
"Hey, Shimada, knock it off. That stuff starts going to her head, and I'm gonna be the one who has to deal with it."
Shimada shut his mouth with a snap.
Hijikata gave a short snort, then asked him to go fetch Otori.
"I'm sorry, Hijikata."
Hijikata turned to Otori who had wasted no time to answer his call.
Otori frowned.
"It's my fault we lost Matsumae Pass."
He looked exhausted, his face lined and tight.
Hijikata only sighed before saying, "What happened happened. We got screwed because we split up our forces. The imperial Army has us outnumbered. If we want to win this, we're gonna have to concentrate our men at Benten and Goryokaku, right?"
Otori relaxed visibly.
Shimada placed his fist over his chest.
"You can trust us with Benten Fortress!"
His tone was cheerful, but almost desperately so.
"So long as the Shinsengumi standard flies, we'll fight to the last man!"
Hijikata gave him a wry smile.
"…Don't say crap like that. You already forget Otori's in command of the fortress?"
Shimada wilted slightly.
Otori gave a soft chuckle and turned to Shimada.
"I'll raise the Shinsengumi's standard for this battle. Then everything should be fine, right?"
He smiled at us.
"So long as it's up, I don't think I could lose. I've lost some battles here and there, sure, but I've never given up on the spirit of the samurai."
He smiled at Hijikata, who responded by curling up the corner of his mouth.
"What, now the Minister of the Army's superstitious? You need to get your act together, Otori."
That was when I realized, suddenly, that all three of them were smiling.
They weren't just fellow soldiers anymore: they were comrades and friends, united in purpose.
"All right, I'm gonna leave Benten in your hands."
After acknowledging nods all around, he turned to leave.
"…Good luck."
I bowed and turned to Hijikata.
Shimada placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Yukimura! …I'm trusting you with Hijikata."
I turned to see him looking at me, his eyes serious.
I nodded, without hesitation.
"I'll do my best. I'm ready to lay down my life, just like anyone in the Shinsengumi."
He gave me a wry smile.
"No, you don't need to risk your life. I want you to protect Hijikata's heart."
"What?"
Shimada nodded.
"He's a strong man, but he hides behind that strength, and he suffers alone. He needs someone who can look past that, and be there to support him, I believe that someone is you."
To stay by Hijikata's side and support him was all that I wanted, but…
"Can I really do that?"
Soon we'd be plunged into a violent and bloody battle. How much help could I be to Hijikata in the middle of a war?
But Shimada just smiled.
"Of course. I think you're the only one who can. He trusts you more than anyone else."
"…All right."
I would protect Hijikata's heart. No one else could stand by him in the days to come.
I nodded firmly to Shimada, my mind set.

It was the evening of June 19th.
We were going about our normal business when Hijikata suddenly spoke.
"If they're going to attack, it'll be tomorrow."
"…Right."
The Imperial Army was nearly on our doorstep. When the sun rose the nest day, Hakodate would become a battlefield, and Goryokaku would be our last refuge.
"Chizuru… Are you sure-"
I knew what he was about to say.
"Yes. I am. I'll stay with you."
However the battle ended, I meant to be there with him when it did.
He sighed.
"I need to stop letting you say it all the time…"
I blinked.
"What…?"
His expression was solemn, but his lips were pressed tightly together, and I could feel his hesitation.
"Um…"
The silence dragged on and on, until I began to feel rather uncomfortable.
Finally, I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could-
"More than anything else, I want to keep you safe. I'm… I think I'm probably in love with you."
My mouth hung open, the question I'd intended to ask now long forgotten.
I'd loved Hijikata for some time by then, and in the past weeks and months I'd begun to realize how much he cared for me as well.
But…to hear the words at last…
For a moment, I thought my heart would stop.
"In love"…
He gently lifted my mouth shut, and gave me a crooked smile.
"I thought I could just die as soon as I'd done what I had to do for the Shinsengumi."
I didn't know what to say.
"It's not that I wanted to die, or anything like that. I just…wouldn't have had anything to life for anymore."
He smiled, although it seemed a little sad.
At most, he had only ever allowed me glimpses of his thoughts and feelings, but now… Now he was telling me things I was sure no other human had ever heard.
It made me happy to know that he trusted me so truly and deeply, but what he was telling me was heartbreaking. To look into the future and see…nothing?
How could that not have been agony?
"So long as I led the Shinsengumi and made them into what they were meant to be, what did it matter if I lived or died?"
The Shinsengumi had been the only thing that kept him going. Once that burden was no longer his to carry, his life would be empty.
Unless he could find something new, what reason would there be to go on living?
"…But now I've got a reason to live."
I felt my body sag with relief.
"I'm so glad…"
He'd been through so much pain, and yet he still wanted to live. That made me happier than anything else.
"That's…that's great…"
I could feel tears start to well up my eyes.
Hijikata smiled down at me tenderly and laid his hand against my cheek.
When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.
"You're the reason I want to live."
"Me…?"
Did…did he really mean that?
Could I really be Hijikata's reason for living?
Would I be able to give him what the Shinsengumi had?
"I…I…"
I started to cry.
He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it.
There was no more need for words.
He wrapped his arms around my body and drew me close. I felt his warm breath moments before his lips pressed against mine.
There, nestled safe in his encircling arms, I felt content. I felt happy.
His hair brushed against my tear-stained cheeks, tickling me.
I could feel his desire for me, in a way so deep and powerful that mere words could never have done it justice.
His warmth pressed against me, soothing even the deepest places in my heart. All the wounds I'd suffered at sorrow's hand began to close; his love the only salve they needed.
At last, his stubborn heart had opened, and through his lips it poured out what it had long kept hidden. His touch was as gentle as ripples on a lake, but when we kissed I felt in him a passion that burned so hot as to put a forge to shame.
I could feel our hearts, out feelings, our very selves intertwine…
And though that feeling faded as our lips parted, the love that had flowed between us remained in my heart, its radiance undimmed.
I love Hijikata and he loves me.
That was an immutable truth now: The sky was blue, fire was hot, and we loved one another.
A faint smile played about Hijikata's face as we looked at each other, but when he spoke it was with the strong, powerful voice I'd heard many times before, when he commanded his men.
"You're going to stay by my side. I won't let you go even if you want to, so be prepared."
His eyes met mine, and through them I felt an echo of the moment we'd just shared.
"Yes!"
I couldn't stop crying. My heart overflowed with joy, and it trickled down my face as tears.
I helped give Hijikata a reason to live. Or at least, that was how he felt.
That was more than I ever could have asked for.

The following day, Hijikata received notice that Benten Fortress had come under concentrated bombardment.
The Imperial Army had begun their attack.
After hearing how dire the situation at Benten was, Hijikata immediately decided to send reinforcements to the fortress.
"I'm leaving to support the men at Benten. …Chizuru. You're coming, right?"
"Yes!"
He grinned.

Since I'd never learned to ride a horse, Hijikata had simply set me behind him on his, and set off for Benten Fortress.
We galloped through the town, moving at what seemed to me an incredible pace, when suddenly-
The crack of a gunshot rang out, and something slammed into Hijikata's body.
"Ahhh!"
The horse, surprised by the gunshot, reared up and threw us to the ground.
"Ow!"
Now rid of its frightening burden, the horse bolted.
I'd been fortunate enough to land in a bush, and so the greatest injury I'd sustained was a number of small scratches.
"Hijikata!"
I crawled across the ground toward his body, my own bruised and aching.

The soil all around him was stained dark red.
In my time with the Shinsengumi, I had seen many battlefields, and a great deal of blood, but this…
Terror gripped my heart, and I could hear blood hammering in my ears.
What was I going to do?
"Hijikata!"
I shook his body, and almost cried out when he stirred.
His wound was serious. a normal human would have died instantly, but his fury blood had kept him alive-if only barely.
"Please, say something!"
His eyes opened to this slits.
"Chizuru… Are you all right?"
"Yes! I'm fine!"
He was nearly dead, and undoubtedly in excruciating pain, but even then his first thought had been my safety.
I choked back a sob. This was not the time.
"…We're in trouble if they come back to finish the job. We need to get out of here and wait for this to heal."
He struggled to his feet and began to walk, blood dripping down the length of his body.
"Hijikata, stop!"
I ran over and hauled his arm around my shoulder. He leaned against it gratefully.
After seeing us shot and thrown from the horse, the shooter undoubtedly assumed we were dead. They weren't likely to come back, but if we didn't move, we could still be found.
"…You're right. We need to leave, but please, let me help you walk. You're hurt."
I gave him the bravest smile I could muster and shifted his arm to a better position across my shoulders.
He smiled back.
At first, we headed for Goryokaku, but the Imperial Army had already laid siege to it.
We could have been walking to our deaths.
For the time being, we needed to hide ourselves, and for that we needed a place away from the enemy lines.
To the rear of Goryokaku, we found it.
A garden of cherry trees, the soft petals of their blossoms dancing in the wind.
It felt almost unreal, as if we were stepping into another world…
We rested at last beneath one of the trees, where the smell of flowers could help drive away the scent of blood.

Hijikata's wounds were deep, and so far had shown no signs of healing.
Perhaps his fury power was beginning to fade. Perhaps that meant that his life would soon be at an end…
Suddenly my mind was full of dreadful things and I froze, paralyzed with dread.
"You look good next to those cherry blossoms."
"…Huh?"
I blinked.
"Do…do you really think so?"
I'd never thought that myself, of anything remotely like it.
"I've always thought they really suited you, though."
Hijikata would look right at home in the middle of a storm of blossoms.
Each fallen petal was strikingly beautiful, in defiance of the tragic end they would surely face.
There was a strange sort of heroism to the cherry blossom, I thought; to shine so brightly in defiance of fate.
Hijikata, with his unshakable devotion to the samurai way, shone as brilliantly and beautifully as any cherry blossom.
"Oh…"
For some reason I found that thought calmed me.
The worries that had crowded my mind began to fade, and I felt myself beginning to think that perhaps things would work out after all.
The sight of the blossoms, and the sound of Hijikata's calm gentle voice raised my spirits back up. We would survive!
Hijikata and I would make it through this war, side by side. This was not the time to lose hope.
When I turned to look at him, I saw that there was a tender smile on his face, almost as if he could see my thoughts.
"Hijikata…"
When spring came next year, I wanted to be here with him to watch the cherry blossoms fall. I wanted to be with him when every spring came.
The words were waiting, ready on my tongue, when a great gust sprang up, throwing the wildly tumbling petals high into the air.
They drifted slowly, almost lazily, back to the ground, and then suddenly…
He was there.
"So, you were alive…"
Kazama's eyes fell on Hijikata, and his mouth curled up in a smile.
"Why…?"
My voice broke, but Kazama only laughed.
"I'm here to put an end to all of this. This man is an affront to my honor, and must be destroyed.
That day at the Utsunomiya Castle, Kazama had warned us that he would return, but I'd never thought he would forsake his clan and travel all the way to Ezo just to fight Hijikata.
"I'm surprised to see you made it here, to the north. Impressive, for a fake."

That was a little surprising…
His tone was as derisive as usual, but his words were almost…compliments. Backhanded, to be sure, but praise of a sort nonetheless.
In some way, he recognized what Hijikata had been through..
"…Didn't think you'd come all the way to Ezo. If I'd bought it already, you would've wasted your time."
Hijikata's face twisted into a crooked grin.
"No! You can't! Hijikata is hurt!"
If he fought in his condition, he'd surely die. I stepped in front of Hijikata, between him and Kazama, but he reached out an arm to stop me.
"Chizuru, stay out of this."
"But-!"
A gentle glance from Hijikata silenced me before I could finish.
"If he's ready to give up everything he's got to fight me, how can I call myself a samurai if I turn tail?"
"That's…"
Kazama had left behind his clan and his life just for the sake of defending his honor.
Hijikata and Kazama were different men in almost every way, but perhaps they shared a warriors pride.
"I'm fighting for what I believe in. And I'll win, no matter what, because I'm going to live."

I saw the determination in his eyes, and knew that there was no point to arguing with him. I'd seen that look plently of times before, and it meant his mind was made up.
Even if I could convince him to run, then everything he'd stood for and lived for would be destroyed.
No. I couldn't do that.
"Fine. I'll just watch."
"…Sorry, Chizuru."
I shook my head.
"Don't apologize. I believe in you."
Kazama let out a snort of laughter.
"You want to live, huh? Furies are only imitations. The more you use those powers of yours, the shorter your life gets. How can a human beast that thirsts only for blood possibly compare to a full-blooded demon?"
He caught a falling petal and stroked idly at it with one finger.
"You are destined to simply wither and die. How could this end any other way? You throw your life away so easily, just like these cherry blossoms."

My heart skipped a beat.
Beautiful as the blossoms were, death and decay claimed them all too quickly.
Would death soon be here to claim Hijikata as well?
"I'm not throwing my life away."
Hijikata's voice was calm.
"there were just a lot of things I had to protect. The life of a samurai's not an easy one."
There was the hint of a smile playing about his lips.
Kazama looked carefully at Hijikata for several moments before he finally spoke.
"Perhaps the name of 'fury' no long suits you. The life you strive to live is not that of a fake."
There was no hint of contempt left in his words.
"You are a demon. I rescind any times I called you false."
There was the slightest smile on Kazama's face, but this was no sneer of contempt: It was a smile of satisfaction, of excitement.
Perhaps Kazama, just like the rest of us, at last understood just what sort of man Hijikata was.
My respect for Hijikata drove me to help him in whatever way I could, but Kazama's would manifest in a different way-the exchange of swords.
"If you are now a demon, then you must have a demon's name. I name you…"
A sudden gust of wind swirled around us.
"…Hakuoki."
It seemed almost as if the name had been chosen long, long ago, so perfectly did it fit him.
Perhaps, I thought, this was destiny.
"Thanks I guess, but I'm not doing this so you'll call me a demon, you know."
His mouth quirked up in a smile as he slid his sword from it's sheath. With a sigh, his body shivered and suddenly this hair was white.
"Can't play long, though. That a problem?"
"Not at all. I'll kill you with the first blow."
Kazama nodded, his own sword sliding from it's scabbard.

I could not interfere, but I didn't need to. I believed Hijikata would win.
The battle would be decided in the single moment of their first attack. the skill of each was so great that even the smallest mistake would mean death.
Would luck decide their match? Ability? Emotion?
They stood apart from one another, still as statues.
A strong gust of wind blew up, casting scores of petals into the air between the two combatants.
In that instant, they both leapt forward.
For a brief moment, their swords met.
There was no give and take to this encounter; no block and parry. Everything that each man had went into that first, deciding blow.
Kazama's sword passed within a hairbreadth of Hijikata…
But Hijikata's blade found its mark, burying itself deep in the demon's heart.
"There's still something I've got to protect. I can't lose, not even to a demon."
Hijikata's voice was quiet and strong.
Even in the very act of taking another man's life, his eyes were strangely gentle.
"If I can die on the blade of a samurai such as you…"
Even with his heart skewered by Hijikata's blade, Kazama could still talk. He put on a brave smile as he spoke.
"…Then I have no regrets. I have lived my life with honor, and I die with the same."
His eyes were clear and free of hostility. If anything, he seemed at peace.
To die in a duel against a foe he respected was a death he could accept with grace.
"Hakuoki. Now you must live out what life you have left."
They were his last words.
Hijikata drew his sword out of Kazama's body as it fell, and dropped the still bloody sword back into its scabbard.
As the blade slid home, Hijikata's body returned to its human form.
"Yeah… I will."
Then his body wavered, and he fell to his knees.
"Hijikata!"
I ran to his side.
He had never compromised his principles, and now his rival was finally defeated.
But he had pushed his body to its limit. His strength was gone. Hijikata's long battle was finally coming to a close.

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I looked up toward the sky to keep them from spilling out, and watched as the blossoms of the cherry trees danced across the heavens.

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(Yay! Now quickly to the final chapter!)