Quickie #6: A Midsummer's Nightmare
Explaination/Diclaimer: Be Afraid... Be VERY Afraid.
70's music starts to play...
Brock sings, "Who's the white private dick that's a sex machine for all the chicaritas?"
Misty sings: "Ash!"
"Your damn right..." Brock sings, "Who's the trainer that wont cop out when there's danger all about?"
Misty: "Ash!"
"Ohhhh yeahhhh..." Brock continues, "You know... I hear that Ash is one bad mother..."
Misty interupts, "SHUT your mouth!!!"
Brock: "I'm just talking about Ash..."
Misty: "I can dig it..."
Brock continues, "No one understands him but his pikachuuuuu..."
And Pikachu struts across the screen wearing a large afro.
THIS NIGHTS EPISODE... ENTER... THE BAT!
"Oh no!" Misty shrieks, "Above you Ash!"
From atop a four-story buidling, a dark-skined man in a cape leaps down on Ash, grabbing him and hissing. Ash grapples with the man, and the man opens his mouth and bares his fangs.
"Oh no!" Brock yells, "It's 70's B-Movie, explotation star, Blacula!"
Blacula hisses and says, "Blahhhhh!!... (then in a deep voice) baby"
***End Dream Sequence...***
Ash sits up, shaking his head... "Damn... I have to stop eating all those cheeseburgers with onions before i go to bed!"
Ash whips the sweat off his forehead, and notices that Misty isnt doing resting well at all. "It looks like Misty is having a nightmare too!"
***Misty's Nightmare***
Its a sunny day, and our trio is eating lunch beside a beautiful lake. Misty was play with Togepi. Suddenly, Togepi started to glow a bright white color. "Oh my gosh!" Misty said, "ASH!!! Brock! Come here quickly!"
Brock and Ash raced over, "Whats up?"
"I think Togepi is evolving!" Misty said happily.
Sure enough, the young baby pokemon was evolving. All that love and training paid off and it was changing and growing up. But to Misty horror, Togepi started to grow larger in size. She dropped it and it continued to enlarge.
Misty, Ash and Brock backed up as Togepi grew 20 feet tall and started growing extra limbs. When the transformation was complete, Misty was horrified to see that Togepi evolved into a 20 foot tall spider! Complete with 8 hairly legs, multiple eyes, and large pincers.
Togepi reared back its head and let out a large bellow. Misty started to scream, "ASH!!! What the F*@%!!! What happened to Togepi?"
Ash shruged and said, "Misty... Togepi's evolve into Tarantulas."
Brock looks at Ash. Ash realizes what he said and changes it, "Ummm... i mean, Tarantulamon. Yeah... thats more marketable."
Brock asks, "Didnt you know about that?"
Misty shrieks, "NO!!!"
"You know," Brock muses, "I wondered why you were raising Togepi since you hate bugs so much! You just didnt know."
Ash sighed, "I guess you dont know the second half."
"What second half?" Misty asked panically.
"Well, your Tarantulamon's mother, so that mean you have the honor being it's first meal!" Ash explains, "Congrats!"
Misty shrieked again, "WHAT???"
"You're surprised," Brock asked, "Didnt you wonder why you never heard of anyone raising Togepis? They're pretty much a death sentence."
Tarantulamon, (By the way kids, you can buy your very own Tarantulamon plush toy online for only 45 dollars! No need to ask mom and dad, just get thier credit card, they won't miss it!), Tarantulamon was done with all talking. It reared back and lowered its head down and swallowed Misty whole.
***End Misty's Dream Sequence***
Misty wakes up with a start. Ash says in a calming voice, "Easy Misty... you were having a dream. You ok?"
Misty shakes her head, "Man i had a horrible dream... and you were there... and Brock was there. And Pikachu was there. And Togepi was there... that little ungrateful bastard, i swear to god if it ever turns ino a giant spider and tries to kill me..."
Ash shakes his head and asks, "You ok Misty?"
Misty says, "Yeah..."
Ash grinned and asked, "Hey, if i was there, and brock was there, and pikachu was there... was an elderly rapper woman there?"
"What?" Misty asked confused.
"Oh you know," Ash explains, his grin widening, "Auntie Eminem."
Misty growls and reaches for her mallet. But something stops her. Well, someone really. Brock, who also seems to be having a vivid dream, started yelling, "Ohhhhhhh Office Jenny, I dont have a tounge depressor, but i have something else that might work!!!"
Ash and Misty just make a 'feh' noise at Brock.
***Brock's Dream Sequence***
The trio of trainers are heading down into Pewter City. "Oh," Brock says, "It's so good to be home!"
Misty smiles, "Cant wait to see your family?"
"No," Brock says, "Its not that, its that, no matter how many pokemon centers we go to, the prettiest Nurse Joy can only be found here! Its been so long since i've seen her."
Ash shakes his head, "Brock... they all look alike!"
"Oh, thats only because you dont have the refined tastes that i have," Brock says, charging into the Pokemon Center.
He rushes up to the desk, and starts gushing, "Oh my lovely Joy, how i have dreamt of you every night i've been away, I always... ..." Brock stops and stares with his mouth open, then stammers, "What... Who? Who are...? But..." Then finally sputters out, "You're NOT Nurse Joy!!!"
A young blonde man behind the desk smiled and said, "Nope, im not... I'm Nurse Alex."
"But... but... where's Nurse Joy?" Brock asked.
"Oh," Nurse Alex replied, "All the Nurse Joy's have retired, so me all my cousins and brothers, (who also are named Alex) have taken over being the nurses at these Pokemon Centers... and if you dont mind me saying, your pretty cute!"
Brock wailed in horror and rushed out the door of the Pokemon Center, nearly crushing Ash and Misty. "This is crazy!" Brock said, "They... they cant do this... this is worst then that movie that Disney made!"
*SCENE CHANGE TO THE NEW DISNEY MOVIE TRAILER*
*************
Warning: This preview is not sutible for any viewers, espsecially those that came up with the idea of Cinderella 2, Little Mermaid 2, and Hunchback of Notre Dame 2, becuase you might take this seriously and actually make this for real!!!
*************
Prince Charming lays his bride down on the bed. He slowly strips down her down, planning to enjoy his wedding night. But when he takes off the panties, he's greeted by a horrible surprise!
Next scene we see Prince Charming in the shower bawling and scrubbing himself, the music in the background playing "I know all about the crying game..."
Announcer: "This Summer, come to theaters everywhere, "Cinderfella"... ... Its a classic romance... with a twist that proves the Pen-is mighter then the sword!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO BROCK'S NIGHTMARE*
Brock shudders at the memories. He rushes up to a squad car and bangs on the window. "Officer Jenny! You have to come out, its horrible!!!" Brock yells frantically.
The squad car opens, but Officer Jenny doesnt exit, instead out comes a burly looking man. Brock's face turns ghastly in horror. "Who... who... are you?" Brock stammers.
"I'm Officer Bruce. We're replacing all the Nurse Joys."
Brock drops down to the ground wailing, "Nooooooooo!"
Officer Bruce shrugs and says, "Hey, your lucky, we were almost all replaced by those things... good thing they malfuction..." Bruce points over to a tall mechanical Office Jenny.
RoboJenny: (in a robotic voice): "I am a Robocop prototype rip-off. I am here to serve and protect the innocent." Then her eyes turn red and yells, "DESTROY!!! DESTROY INNOCENT!!!" And then pulls out two large guns and blows Brock away...
***End Brock's Dream Sequence***
Brock leaps out of bed screaming. "WHY JENNY, WHYYYY?"
Ash and Misty glance and Brock. "You ok Brock?" Ash asked.
"Did you have a nightmare too?" Misty asked.
Brock shakes his head no, "No, same old dream i always have."
(We interupt this story in order to tell you that if you are the type of person who are prone to rolling thier eyes, this is the time to do it. That last joke has been rated a 5.7 on the rolling-eye richter scale. This public service announcement was brought to you by the N.A.E.R.B... North American Eye Rollers Board)
Ash glances down at Pikachu, "Hey... looks like Pikachu is having a dream too... How's that for a segway?"
***Pikachu's Dream Sequence***
Pikachu, alone in the world, is running down the street. Sweat dripping from its brow. He held a box of Pokemon Chow in its hand. It ran down yelling, "Pikachu Pi!! Pikachu Pi!"
Which in pokemon means, "Pokemon chow is made of people!"
A horrible discovery that it made when its friends, Ash, Misty, and Brock were captured, and before the yellow pokemon's own eyes, they were skinned, chopped up, dried, and turned into the very box of pokemon food it held in its hand.
Now, frantic, Pikachu had to spread the word. "Pikachu Pi! Pikachu Pi!!!" It cried as it ran down the street, until it ran into a Snubull.
Snubull: "Snub snub, bull... bull, snubbull, snub!" (Oh no!!! Made of people??? What should we do???")
Pikachu: "Pi." (nothing)
Snubull: *shocked* "Snub snubull???" (Nothing? But...?)
Pikachu grins evily and pops a few pokemon pellets from the box into his mouth. "Pikachu, chu, pika chupi pikachupi." (I just wanted to let you know what gives it that awesome taste... heh, heh, heh)
Pikachu continues to chow down as Snubull watches in shock.
***Back in reality***
"Man..." Ash says, "Pikachu seems to be having a great dream. Look at him grin!"
Misty smiles and says, "He's probably thinking about food or something..."
Pikachu's grin grows even wider. Tomorrow, it'll try out a brand new recipe that came to it in a dream.
*Iris out on Pikachu's evil grin*
THE END
"Hey!" Ash said, "That was a pretty good one!"
"Yeah!" Brock agreed, "We sleep, and they film us! Not so bad, to get paid for that!"
Misty looked around.
"Is something wrong Mist?" Ash asked.
"I dont know..." Misty said, "Do you remember my dream sequence?"
"Yeah." Brock said, "Mine was funnier."
"Yeah yeah..." Misty said sarcastically.
"What about it?" Ash asked.
"Well..." MIsty asked, "What happened to the giant mechanical spider we used?"
Ash and Brock glanced at each other. "Ummmm... Didnt props take it?"
*MEANWHILE IN SOUTH PARK
"So tell me again," Stan asked, "Why do we need to find a large dark chicken?"
Cartman made a 'duh' noise and said, "Because Chef said that the best way to attract girls is a giant black pecker!"
Kenny started to speak up when a giant leg stepped down and crushed him, splatter blood everywhere. Stan, Kyle and Cartman stared open mouth at this giant Tartantulamon that just squished thier friend.
"OH MY GOD!!!" Stan cried out, "They killed Kenny!!!"
"YOU BASTARDS!!!" Kyle yelled.
Meanwhile, controling the giant spider... "YES Pinky!" Brain declared, "With this giant pokemon, today we take down South Park... Tomorrow, Seasame Street, and then, the WORLD!!!"
Music: "They're dinky... they're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain!!!"
Suddenly a giant pokeball catches the spider. Brain: "Drat."
THE REAL END
Alright, another one is done. The ending went off on a tanget, but a good review would be a Sign that you liked my angle. Of course if you are reading with a friend feel free to cosign. Then after reviewing, go have a nice slice of Pi. And if you go to Hogwarts,, change yourself into a Dutch Elm and say "Geometry" (better to say that pun out loud).
Ok ok, thats enough lollygagging. I hope you enjoyed this one, thank you for reading. I will try and post a new one up soon.
Explaination/Diclaimer: Be Afraid... Be VERY Afraid.
70's music starts to play...
Brock sings, "Who's the white private dick that's a sex machine for all the chicaritas?"
Misty sings: "Ash!"
"Your damn right..." Brock sings, "Who's the trainer that wont cop out when there's danger all about?"
Misty: "Ash!"
"Ohhhh yeahhhh..." Brock continues, "You know... I hear that Ash is one bad mother..."
Misty interupts, "SHUT your mouth!!!"
Brock: "I'm just talking about Ash..."
Misty: "I can dig it..."
Brock continues, "No one understands him but his pikachuuuuu..."
And Pikachu struts across the screen wearing a large afro.
THIS NIGHTS EPISODE... ENTER... THE BAT!
"Oh no!" Misty shrieks, "Above you Ash!"
From atop a four-story buidling, a dark-skined man in a cape leaps down on Ash, grabbing him and hissing. Ash grapples with the man, and the man opens his mouth and bares his fangs.
"Oh no!" Brock yells, "It's 70's B-Movie, explotation star, Blacula!"
Blacula hisses and says, "Blahhhhh!!... (then in a deep voice) baby"
***End Dream Sequence...***
Ash sits up, shaking his head... "Damn... I have to stop eating all those cheeseburgers with onions before i go to bed!"
Ash whips the sweat off his forehead, and notices that Misty isnt doing resting well at all. "It looks like Misty is having a nightmare too!"
***Misty's Nightmare***
Its a sunny day, and our trio is eating lunch beside a beautiful lake. Misty was play with Togepi. Suddenly, Togepi started to glow a bright white color. "Oh my gosh!" Misty said, "ASH!!! Brock! Come here quickly!"
Brock and Ash raced over, "Whats up?"
"I think Togepi is evolving!" Misty said happily.
Sure enough, the young baby pokemon was evolving. All that love and training paid off and it was changing and growing up. But to Misty horror, Togepi started to grow larger in size. She dropped it and it continued to enlarge.
Misty, Ash and Brock backed up as Togepi grew 20 feet tall and started growing extra limbs. When the transformation was complete, Misty was horrified to see that Togepi evolved into a 20 foot tall spider! Complete with 8 hairly legs, multiple eyes, and large pincers.
Togepi reared back its head and let out a large bellow. Misty started to scream, "ASH!!! What the F*@%!!! What happened to Togepi?"
Ash shruged and said, "Misty... Togepi's evolve into Tarantulas."
Brock looks at Ash. Ash realizes what he said and changes it, "Ummm... i mean, Tarantulamon. Yeah... thats more marketable."
Brock asks, "Didnt you know about that?"
Misty shrieks, "NO!!!"
"You know," Brock muses, "I wondered why you were raising Togepi since you hate bugs so much! You just didnt know."
Ash sighed, "I guess you dont know the second half."
"What second half?" Misty asked panically.
"Well, your Tarantulamon's mother, so that mean you have the honor being it's first meal!" Ash explains, "Congrats!"
Misty shrieked again, "WHAT???"
"You're surprised," Brock asked, "Didnt you wonder why you never heard of anyone raising Togepis? They're pretty much a death sentence."
Tarantulamon, (By the way kids, you can buy your very own Tarantulamon plush toy online for only 45 dollars! No need to ask mom and dad, just get thier credit card, they won't miss it!), Tarantulamon was done with all talking. It reared back and lowered its head down and swallowed Misty whole.
***End Misty's Dream Sequence***
Misty wakes up with a start. Ash says in a calming voice, "Easy Misty... you were having a dream. You ok?"
Misty shakes her head, "Man i had a horrible dream... and you were there... and Brock was there. And Pikachu was there. And Togepi was there... that little ungrateful bastard, i swear to god if it ever turns ino a giant spider and tries to kill me..."
Ash shakes his head and asks, "You ok Misty?"
Misty says, "Yeah..."
Ash grinned and asked, "Hey, if i was there, and brock was there, and pikachu was there... was an elderly rapper woman there?"
"What?" Misty asked confused.
"Oh you know," Ash explains, his grin widening, "Auntie Eminem."
Misty growls and reaches for her mallet. But something stops her. Well, someone really. Brock, who also seems to be having a vivid dream, started yelling, "Ohhhhhhh Office Jenny, I dont have a tounge depressor, but i have something else that might work!!!"
Ash and Misty just make a 'feh' noise at Brock.
***Brock's Dream Sequence***
The trio of trainers are heading down into Pewter City. "Oh," Brock says, "It's so good to be home!"
Misty smiles, "Cant wait to see your family?"
"No," Brock says, "Its not that, its that, no matter how many pokemon centers we go to, the prettiest Nurse Joy can only be found here! Its been so long since i've seen her."
Ash shakes his head, "Brock... they all look alike!"
"Oh, thats only because you dont have the refined tastes that i have," Brock says, charging into the Pokemon Center.
He rushes up to the desk, and starts gushing, "Oh my lovely Joy, how i have dreamt of you every night i've been away, I always... ..." Brock stops and stares with his mouth open, then stammers, "What... Who? Who are...? But..." Then finally sputters out, "You're NOT Nurse Joy!!!"
A young blonde man behind the desk smiled and said, "Nope, im not... I'm Nurse Alex."
"But... but... where's Nurse Joy?" Brock asked.
"Oh," Nurse Alex replied, "All the Nurse Joy's have retired, so me all my cousins and brothers, (who also are named Alex) have taken over being the nurses at these Pokemon Centers... and if you dont mind me saying, your pretty cute!"
Brock wailed in horror and rushed out the door of the Pokemon Center, nearly crushing Ash and Misty. "This is crazy!" Brock said, "They... they cant do this... this is worst then that movie that Disney made!"
*SCENE CHANGE TO THE NEW DISNEY MOVIE TRAILER*
*************
Warning: This preview is not sutible for any viewers, espsecially those that came up with the idea of Cinderella 2, Little Mermaid 2, and Hunchback of Notre Dame 2, becuase you might take this seriously and actually make this for real!!!
*************
Prince Charming lays his bride down on the bed. He slowly strips down her down, planning to enjoy his wedding night. But when he takes off the panties, he's greeted by a horrible surprise!
Next scene we see Prince Charming in the shower bawling and scrubbing himself, the music in the background playing "I know all about the crying game..."
Announcer: "This Summer, come to theaters everywhere, "Cinderfella"... ... Its a classic romance... with a twist that proves the Pen-is mighter then the sword!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO BROCK'S NIGHTMARE*
Brock shudders at the memories. He rushes up to a squad car and bangs on the window. "Officer Jenny! You have to come out, its horrible!!!" Brock yells frantically.
The squad car opens, but Officer Jenny doesnt exit, instead out comes a burly looking man. Brock's face turns ghastly in horror. "Who... who... are you?" Brock stammers.
"I'm Officer Bruce. We're replacing all the Nurse Joys."
Brock drops down to the ground wailing, "Nooooooooo!"
Officer Bruce shrugs and says, "Hey, your lucky, we were almost all replaced by those things... good thing they malfuction..." Bruce points over to a tall mechanical Office Jenny.
RoboJenny: (in a robotic voice): "I am a Robocop prototype rip-off. I am here to serve and protect the innocent." Then her eyes turn red and yells, "DESTROY!!! DESTROY INNOCENT!!!" And then pulls out two large guns and blows Brock away...
***End Brock's Dream Sequence***
Brock leaps out of bed screaming. "WHY JENNY, WHYYYY?"
Ash and Misty glance and Brock. "You ok Brock?" Ash asked.
"Did you have a nightmare too?" Misty asked.
Brock shakes his head no, "No, same old dream i always have."
(We interupt this story in order to tell you that if you are the type of person who are prone to rolling thier eyes, this is the time to do it. That last joke has been rated a 5.7 on the rolling-eye richter scale. This public service announcement was brought to you by the N.A.E.R.B... North American Eye Rollers Board)
Ash glances down at Pikachu, "Hey... looks like Pikachu is having a dream too... How's that for a segway?"
***Pikachu's Dream Sequence***
Pikachu, alone in the world, is running down the street. Sweat dripping from its brow. He held a box of Pokemon Chow in its hand. It ran down yelling, "Pikachu Pi!! Pikachu Pi!"
Which in pokemon means, "Pokemon chow is made of people!"
A horrible discovery that it made when its friends, Ash, Misty, and Brock were captured, and before the yellow pokemon's own eyes, they were skinned, chopped up, dried, and turned into the very box of pokemon food it held in its hand.
Now, frantic, Pikachu had to spread the word. "Pikachu Pi! Pikachu Pi!!!" It cried as it ran down the street, until it ran into a Snubull.
Snubull: "Snub snub, bull... bull, snubbull, snub!" (Oh no!!! Made of people??? What should we do???")
Pikachu: "Pi." (nothing)
Snubull: *shocked* "Snub snubull???" (Nothing? But...?)
Pikachu grins evily and pops a few pokemon pellets from the box into his mouth. "Pikachu, chu, pika chupi pikachupi." (I just wanted to let you know what gives it that awesome taste... heh, heh, heh)
Pikachu continues to chow down as Snubull watches in shock.
***Back in reality***
"Man..." Ash says, "Pikachu seems to be having a great dream. Look at him grin!"
Misty smiles and says, "He's probably thinking about food or something..."
Pikachu's grin grows even wider. Tomorrow, it'll try out a brand new recipe that came to it in a dream.
*Iris out on Pikachu's evil grin*
THE END
"Hey!" Ash said, "That was a pretty good one!"
"Yeah!" Brock agreed, "We sleep, and they film us! Not so bad, to get paid for that!"
Misty looked around.
"Is something wrong Mist?" Ash asked.
"I dont know..." Misty said, "Do you remember my dream sequence?"
"Yeah." Brock said, "Mine was funnier."
"Yeah yeah..." Misty said sarcastically.
"What about it?" Ash asked.
"Well..." MIsty asked, "What happened to the giant mechanical spider we used?"
Ash and Brock glanced at each other. "Ummmm... Didnt props take it?"
*MEANWHILE IN SOUTH PARK
"So tell me again," Stan asked, "Why do we need to find a large dark chicken?"
Cartman made a 'duh' noise and said, "Because Chef said that the best way to attract girls is a giant black pecker!"
Kenny started to speak up when a giant leg stepped down and crushed him, splatter blood everywhere. Stan, Kyle and Cartman stared open mouth at this giant Tartantulamon that just squished thier friend.
"OH MY GOD!!!" Stan cried out, "They killed Kenny!!!"
"YOU BASTARDS!!!" Kyle yelled.
Meanwhile, controling the giant spider... "YES Pinky!" Brain declared, "With this giant pokemon, today we take down South Park... Tomorrow, Seasame Street, and then, the WORLD!!!"
Music: "They're dinky... they're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain!!!"
Suddenly a giant pokeball catches the spider. Brain: "Drat."
THE REAL END
Alright, another one is done. The ending went off on a tanget, but a good review would be a Sign that you liked my angle. Of course if you are reading with a friend feel free to cosign. Then after reviewing, go have a nice slice of Pi. And if you go to Hogwarts,, change yourself into a Dutch Elm and say "Geometry" (better to say that pun out loud).
Ok ok, thats enough lollygagging. I hope you enjoyed this one, thank you for reading. I will try and post a new one up soon.