Disclaimer: I'll trade you a dollar for Chris. Okay fine, I'm willing to go up to two.

Ch. 4:

Piper swept up what was left of the table from the conservatory floor. Where the table use to sit, a large bolder with a sword protruding from it sat.

"Okay, could you, maybe, miss the table?" Piper asked.

"Um, I'm sorry." Paige told her. "I've never orbed anything that heavy before or that…historic."

Richard stared at the sword as Piper neared it.

"Is that glowing?" he asked.

As soon as Piper turned to look at it, it stopped.

"No." she answered. "It's the sun room. There's a lotta light."

"What part of this reality aren't you getting?" Paige asked. "Sword, Stone, Lady in Lake?"

"It was a pond." Piper protested.

"You think she's from Avalon?" Richard asked Paige.

"Yeah." She replied. "I think she was flushed out by whoever's after Excalibur, the maker of kings."

"Look, we're not talking about Camelot, right?" Piper demanded. "Because that's not real."

"So you're saying you never believed in King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?" Paige asked her.

"Yes, I did when I was 7, and then I grew up." Piper answered.

"Yeah." Paige agreed. "You grew up to be a witch that fights demons and silly-looking dragons."

"That's different." Piper told her. "That's real."

"And this isn't real?" Paige demanded.

"What is real are those hooded freaks." Piper said.

"Who are not gonna give up, now that the sword's out in the open." Richard added.

"How do you know?" Piper asked.

"Whoever has Excalibur is unstoppable." Richard replied.

Phoebe walked in, carrying the Book of Shadows in her arms.

"You saw the note on the table saying Meredith took Wyatt out for a walk, right?" she asked, before spotting Richard. "Oh, hi! How you doing?"

"Yes, I saw the note." Piper told her. "Now, please, put a stop to this nonsense."

"Didn't realize you were still here." Phoebe said to Richard.

"That's okay." Paige told her. "You can talk freely in front of him. Lord knows, he's been through enough."

"No, not really." Phoebe muttered.

"Phoebe." Piper said warningly.

"Look, guys, I should probably go." Richard said.

"Ah!" Phoebe said. "Don't be ridiculous. It's great."

"Okay, anyway, Book, Excalibur…?" Paige prompted.

"Yeah." Phoebe said. "Nothin'. Nada."

"Really?" Paige asked.

"Told ya." Piper said.

"You know, hey, maybe it's been out of circulation since ye olden days, and maybe no Halliwell has ever come across it before." Paige said.

"Well, we have run across these guys, executioner demons, lower-level bad asses for hire." Phoebe said, opening the book to the right page.

"Who hired them?" Piper asked.

"Uhh!" Phoebe groaned, flipping to another page. "This…higher-level bad ass."

Piper walked over to look at the entry for the Dark Knight.

"'A power-mad paladin of destruction.'" She read.

"Huh." Paige said, turning to look at Richard. "Maybe, you know, maybe we should just kinda hang out later."

"Yeah, okay." Richard agreed. "Bye."

"Bye!" Piper called as he headed to the door.

Paige glared at her before following him.

"Be careful with all this." Richard told Paige as they reached the door.

"Always." She replied, smiling. "I had a…a really good time last night."

"Me, too." Richard replied, returning the smile, before it faded.

"What?" Paige asked.

"Uh, I just don't think your sisters like me very much." He said.

"That's not true." Paige protested.

"Really?" Richard asked.

"Maybe they're just doing the overprotective-sister thing." Paige relented.

"Hmm." Richard replied. "Well, that's a good thing 'cause I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Don't worry." Paige told him.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek before hugging her.

Phoebe craned her neck to see Paige and Richard as Piper continued to read from the book.

"So he's an upper-level demon, which means, you should be able to make a vanquishing potion." She told Phoebe.

"Okay." Phoebe replied absently. "Wait. Me? Why me?"

She went back to trying to watch Paige and Richard.

"Because…Hello!" Piper said, bringing her back. "I have a few hundred things to do around here, in addition to raising a small child."

Phoebe draped her arm around Piper's shoulders.

"I know." She told her sister. "You have so much to do. You're my hero, but I can't. I have to go to work. I still don't have an assistant, and I'm swamped."

She quickly made a beeline for the door.

"But-Phoebe!" Piper called after her.

Paige walked into the Conservatory a second later, but quickly turned around when Piper looked at her.

"Paige, potion?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey." Paige said, turning around. "The temp agency's already got me a new job."

"But that hardly compares with-" Piper said, motioning to the sword.

"Come on." Paige protested. "You know there's a magical reason that I've had everyone of these jobs, and who am I to interfere with Destiny?"

"Okay, so you want me to add 'baby-sit the sword' and 'mix vanquishing potion' to my never-ending to-do list?" Piper asked her.

"At least Meredith is helping you with Wyatt." Paige pointed out.

"Ah yes, the suspicious babysitter from the future." Piper said sarcastically. "That helps so much, thank you."

"I thought you trusted her." Paige said.

"I do." Piper sighed. "It's just the same as with Chris. I feel like there's something they're both not telling us."

"They've admitted they there are things they haven't told us." Paige pointed out.

"I know." Piper replied.

"Look, sword is stuck in the stone." Paige told her. "You know it. I know it. The bad guys know it. And nobody's gonna get it out until King Arthur pulls it out, and when that happens, there'll be lots of fireworks."

"And when might that be?" Piper asked.

"How should I know?" Paige shot back. "Maybe a couple thousand years?"

She turned to leave, but stopped and turned back. She walked over to the sword, got a good grip, and pulled. She pulled again. And again.

The sword stayed firmly in place.

"Well," Paige said, shrugging. "You can't blame a girl for trying."

Piper sighed as she left and looked at the sword.

Phoebe walked up to her desk and the secretary followed her, putting a stack of files on her already covered desk as Phoebe sat down.

"Responses to last week's columns." She told Phoebe.

"Wha-?" Phoebe sputtered. "How'd you get into my e-mail?"

"Your e-mail account is maxed-out, so your fans are using ours." The secretary told her.

"Oh, I'll tell you," Phoebe grumbled as she left, "Elise better find me a new assistant because, pretty soon, she's gonna have to ask Phoebe to take my foot out of her-"

The phone began to ring and Phoebe broke off her tirade to find it. After moving a few things, she unburied it and answered it.

"Hello? Phoebe Halliwell." she said. "Oh, hey Laura. Uh, I have that down for…." She pulled out her planner and looked at it, groaning. "This morning. Oh, my god, I missed it. I'm so sorry. No, of course I can reschedule, absolutely."

"Ahem!"

Phoebe looked up to see Paige standing in her doorway.

"Actually, Laura, can I call you back when I have my book right in front of me?" she asked into the phone. "Okay, great. I'm so sorry. Thanks. Bye."

She quickly hung up.

"Hi." She told Paige, resting her head on her crossed arms, folded across her cluttered desk. "I thought you had a new temp job today."

"I do." Paige replied.

"Why aren't you there?" Phoebe asked, not lifting her head.

"Apparently, I am." Paige replied.

"What?" Phoebe asked, lifting her head to look at her sister. "Here?"

"Yep." Paige replied.

"As my assistant?" Phoebe asked.

"Well, I think, I prefer to be called your Desk Manager." Paige told her.

"Wait." Phoebe said. "But I thought you get all of your temp jobs for divine reasons."

"Usually I do." Paige replied.

"Yeah, but I don't need divine help." Phoebe told her. "I need filing and faxing and desk management help."

"I'm your girl." Paige said. "I really am. We'll just, you know, see if the divine stuff kind of appears later. It usually does."

"Yeah, but I can't tell you what to do." Phoebe scoffed. "I mean, how weird is that?"

"Well, it's no weirder than usual." Paige replied.

"Oh, I see." Phoebe said.

"Just kidding." Paige told her. "Sort of. Listen, you get back to your column. I will call Laura and reschedule. I will…" She grabbed a stack of messages and looked through them. "…help…stuff."

Piper stood in front of the washing machine as it thumped loudly and soap leaked out of the lid. Finally she reached over and wrenched the plug out of the wall.

"Perfect." She said.

She dropped the plug and headed back to check on the potion, which was bubbling over.

"Ew." She said as she turned off the stove and grabbed a towel.

"Hey, lady!" a voice said.

Piper stepped around the cluttered table to find a dwarf standing on the other side.

"We could really use an authority figure out there." He told her.

"What are you doing here?" Piper demanded.

"What am I doing here?" he shot back. "I'm getting pushed around. I just lost my place in line."

"What line?" Piper asked. "Wh-?"

He turned and walked out of the kitchen and she followed him.

In the Conservatory there was a line. A very long line, leading straight to the sword.

"But-what's going on here?" Piper demanded.

In the line was every magical creature you could think of.

"What is this?" she shouted.

"Natural selection." The dwarf replied. "Naturally, I hope the sword selects me to be king, finally get a little respect around here."

"Pfft." A satyr dismissed him as the rest of the creatures laughed.

"Oh, you people, you creatures, whatever, you can't be here." Piper told them. "You gotta go."

"We have a divine right to try our hand." An ogre told her.

"Phew!" Piper reacted to the stench emanating from him. "Wow."

"Yeah." The dwarf agreed. "Ten feet's pretty much the distance."

"Eh, back of the line, please." The Satyr told Piper. "Hoof it, sister."

"Chris?" Piper called. "Chris? Get down here."

There was a flash of orbs and Leo appeared.

"Where's Chris?" Piper demanded.

"Busy." Leo replied, looking around. "What's going on?"

"Busy with what?" Piper asked.

"Other charges." Leo replied. "I took him off your account again."

"Our account?" Piper asked.

"You know what I mean." Leo told her.

"Hey, Piper!" Meredith called. "There's a huge ass line in our front hall, so I shadow walked Wyatt up for his nap. You mind telling me what the hell is going –"

She froze as she walked in through the dining room and spotted the sword.

"Oh, god." She whispered.

She staggered back and hit a chair and falling to the ground.

"Chris!" she shouted, panic in her voice. "Christopher!"

There was a flash of orbs and he appeared.

"What is it?" he asked, helping her up. "What's wrong?"

She grabbed the front of his shirt in a death grip and buried her face in his chest, her whole body shaking. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly as he looked around. His eyes landed on the sword and he stiffened.

"It's alright." He told her softly. "He's not here. He can't hurt you."

"Chris…" she said, her voice thick. "Jenny…he…"

"I know." He said, pulling away from her gently. "Can you shadow walk?"

She nodded and he wiped a tear off her face.

"Go to our place." He told her. "I'll meet you there."

She nodded again and a second later, she disappeared into shadow.

"What the hell is that thing doing here?" Chris demanded, rounding on Leo and Piper.

"That's none of your concern." Leo told him severely. "The Charmed Ones are not your charges. You shouldn't have answered the call."

"Mer's not a Charmed One." Chris shot back. "And she's been my charge for ages and you can't take her away from me, so I'll answer her call whenever she calls for me."

"Chris, go make sure she's alright." Piper said, intervening. "I'll send some stuff with Paige later. She can stay with you at the club until we figure out what's going on."

Chris hesitated.

"Go." She urged.

He nodded and orbed away.

"And you." Piper said, rounding on Leo. "Leave them alone and tell me what's going on."

Leo glanced back at the sword.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"No!" Piper replied. "No, it's not! Okay? Now, look, you've gotta get all these people outta here because I can't do this right now."

Leo stepped forward.

"Get-hey!" the Satyr stopped him. "Hey! No cuts, buddy."

Leo looked at Piper, who just shrugged.

Phoebe walked back into the bullpen and stopped at the secretary's desk.

"How was the staff meeting?" she asked Phoebe.

"Endless." She replied. "How's my new assistant working out?"

"She put a fire under the interns, that's for sure." The secretary replied.

"Really?" Phoebe asked. "Hmm."

She headed back to her office to find Paige sitting at her now clean desk with three male interns sitting in front of her.

"Okay, who can help me with that?" Paige asked.

All three raised their hands and Paige selected the left one.

"Great, you got it." She told him. "And what about collating and cross referencing?"

The other two raised their hands and Paige choose the middle one.

"You." She said. "And so you would have data-basing. All right. Great. You boys have your marching orders. I will check back with you in a couple hours."

The interns stood and left while Phoebe walked in, amazed.

"Wow!" she said. "Who works here?"

"You do." Paige replied. "Who rocks? That would be me. By the end of the day, we're gonna have a system in place that tracks your column ideas, your columns written, and your columns considered, plus a separate file for your questions, comments, and fan mail."

"I can't believe it." Phoebe told her.

"Well, believe it, because you, my dear, are never going to miss anything again." Paige said.

"That's good!" Phoebe said, moving to sit behind her desk as Paige vacated it.

"It is good news because you, my dear, need to concentrate." Paige told her.

"Yes, I do." Phoebe agreed.

"Yes, you do, starting with tomorrow's column." Paige continued.

"I already wrote tomorrow's column." Phoebe told her, looking at her computer.

"Yeah, you did." Paige said, nodding.

Phoebe began to type before pausing and looking at her sister.

"Uh, is there a problem with it?" she asked.

"Well, I mean, I'm no expert, but I was just thinking about this one question." Paige told her. "Okay, the girl's family wants her to break up with him because they think he's an alcoholic, and, absent of any proof, you're telling her to end it."

"Well, you know, not really end it, just slow it down a bit." Phoebe said.

"Okay, but slowing it down by not seeing each other is, in effect, ending it."

"I just think you should keep your eyes open." Phoebe muttered.

"Keep my eyes open?" Paige repeated.

"I mean-" Phoebe tried to cover. "I mean, I think she should keep her eyes open. You know what I mean."

"Yeah." Paige said sourly. "This column's about Richard and I, isn't it?"

"No, it is not about Richard." Phoebe said. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You hate him." Paige accused. "I can tell, and, what's worse, he can tell."

"Look, Paige, if you're sensing anything from me, it's just concern." Phoebe told her. "I'm concerned that you're falling too fast for a guy you barely know."

Paige seethed at that comment, but didn't say anything.

"But, you know, it's none of my business." Phoebe said, turning back to her computer.

"You're right." Paige agreed. "It's not any of your business."

"Right." Phoebe said.

There was a flash of orbs and Leo appeared.

"Hey, Piper needs your help." He told them. "Now."

The next person to try their hand at the sword was a fairy. The sight was fairly comical except to the Ogre behind her, who swatted her past Piper, who was sitting in a chair.

"Pest." He muttered as he tried to pull the sword free.

There was a flash and Leo orbed in with Phoebe and Paige.

"Oh, my!" Phoebe marveled.

"I was afraid this would happened." Paige muttered.

"You think you could have mentioned that?" Piper asked her.

"And they won't leave?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, no, no." Piper replied. "More show up every minute."

"But no bad guys yet, right?" Paige asked.

"What is that stench?" Phoebe asked, grimacing at the smell. "What is that stench?"

"We've got to get this thing out of the manor." Piper said. "Leo refuses to orb it and Chris is busy taking care of Meredith."

"What's wrong with Meredith?" Paige asked.

"I don't know, she took one look at the sword and had a panic attack." Piper told her. "Chris took her to P3."

"It's a moot point." Leo told them. "The Lady of the Lake came to the Charmed Ones for help. No one's messing with that."

"Oh, for god's sakes." Piper said, getting up. "If you will not get rid of it, then I will."

She walked over to the stone, shooing the ogre away and grabbed the sword.

No one was more surprised than Piper when it easily slipped out of the stone.

A murmur rippled through the magical creatures as the ramifications of that act occurred to them.

"Wow." Piper said, looking at the sword in her hand.

One by one, each of the creatures bowed before Piper.

A powerful gust of wind blew through the room as a whirlwind descended from the ceiling and coalesced into a man in grey. He looked at Piper with the sword and walked towards her.

"I bet you didn't expect this when you got up this morning." He told her.

"I-" Piper sputtered as he stood behind her and put his hand on her shoulders.

"The sword has chosen." He announced. "You are the new savior, the Champion of Good, and Master of Excalibur. Welcome to your new destiny."

"Oh, crap." Piper moaned.

Chris brought Meredith a cup of water and sat down on the bed next to her.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah." She said. "It was just a shock, seeing the sword. I'm sure you have better things to do than babysit me. You should get back to work."

"I don't have anything better to do than babysit you." He replied, gently pushing her with his shoulder. "Besides, you have every reason to freak out. You just lost your daughter."

Meredith studied him as he looked anywhere but her.

"I'm not the only one who lost a daughter, am I?" she said softly.

A/N: Okay, so how many of you were actually surprised that Chris was Jenny's father? Not many? I figured. Let me know what you thought.

Abbey