Ten-Faced

Chapter 10 – The Tenth Face – Broken

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear I don't own any of it; I'm just in it for the Romerica ;)

Warning: MPD/DID!Lovi, male x male pairings, harsh language, and AU.

And here we meet the final and arguably darkest (it's a toss-up with Tactician in my head) of the Faces. Broken is the result of all the hate Lovino had directed at himself and others over the years.

Here's a list of all the Faces: 1 – Lovi, 2 – Shy, 3 - Charisma, 4 - Tsundere, 5 - Charmer, 6 - Tactician, 7 – Fighter, 8 - Adult, 9 – Sweet, 10 - Broken

oOo

Lovino was feeling a little depressed at the beginning of the weekend. He woke up the morning after his concert feeling like the weight of the world was crushing him again. The Italian had realized that all his efforts had been in vain. Even with all his Faces giving their all, Alfred still didn't see him as anything more than a friend (and an odd one at that). Adding a further weight was the fact that Lovino had woken up with his Broken Face on.

Broken was the result of all the hatred that had built up over the years. He was all the hate Lovino held for himself and others. After all this time, the self-loathing caused him to shut down from everything else when the pressure got to be too much. He felt he was too worthless to do anything right, so he did nothing at all. Homework, chores, socializing, eating, and even sleeping escaped him with this Face in control.

As much as he tried to regroup and change out his depressing Face for another, it was no good. One thing led to another and by lunchtime, Lovino's life was unraveling at the seams.

It began when he woke up and got an email from his soccer coach informing him that Miller had recovered a little early. That meant they didn't need him on the team anymore. His coach had still asked if Lovino wanted to remain as an alternate and practically begged him to try-out in Spring. Unfortunately, his words of encouragement were wasted – Lovino didn't have until Spring before someone stole Alfred. Soccer was important to Lovino, but Alfred took priority. Fighter had already dished out more than enough punishment to the bastards on the team to last a lifetime (or ten), so his pride was avenged. With that out of the way, what good was playing if he didn't have Alfred cheering him on in the stands? That was the thing he liked most about playing. Soccer was his game, but Alfred was his dream.

Shortly after that had set in, he found out from Feliciano that several Art students volunteered to finish up the scenery and background work for the Theater Department's play. Lovino had been mostly done anyway, but now he couldn't say the work was his alone. Without the bake sale to distract him (or give one of the more outgoing Faces another chance to shine) Feliciano was back to his former position of setting the perfection bar head and shoulders above the rest.

But by far, the worst thing was that Alfred hadn't responded strongly one way or another to any of his Faces. He pulled a pillow over his actual face in exasperation; it felt like his head was splitting. Hammering a rusty nail into his forehead would be less painful than this.

He had wanted to make things better, not worse. Was he really so fucked up that the person he cared about most didn't like even a single aspect of him? He'd been rejected by everyone else in his life; he had only wanted Alfred to accept him. If Alfred believed in him, he didn't care about the rest. He could handle everything else if he had just that one person supporting him.

Alfred was the first person to show him genuine kindness. After losing his parents, failing to achieve as much as his perfect brother, and possessing a moody, unforgiving personality that made most avoid him, Alfred felt like sunshine. He was the ray of hope that Lovino clung to with all his might. Was it really all for nothing?

Lovino had never been so exhausted in his entire life. The strain of managing 10 Faces vying for the spotlight was starting to get to him and his body was refusing to respond. All he wanted to do was sleep the rest of his life away, but Broken made that impossible at the moment.

Dammit...I can't even sleep right... What kind of idiot screws that up? I can't face Alfred...Not like this...

Not long after Broken's angsty mental rant, Feliciano was knocking at his door. Lovino ignored him, but Feli didn't give up. He opened the door slowly.

"Ve~! Fratello, I made lasagna for lunch!" he beamed. "I added extra tomatoes just for you!"

"…"

"I'm really proud of all the hard work you've been doing lately!"

Lovino gazed at him coldly, believing if that was true, Feli wouldn't have taken his work from him, but kept his thoughts to himself and finally left his room.

oOo

At lunch, the gloomy Face didn't eat much, surprising Romulus. The elder Vargas thought he'd be starving.

"My talented grandson, the star musician, should eat more!" he exclaimed and then took a softer tone. "You look a little pale today, topolino. It would be good for you. Besides, Feli makes the best food in the entire world!"

"Grazie!" the youngest Vargas smiled brightly. "I'm so glad we were able to have lunch together! It's been awhile since we were all free like this! I hope we can have lunch together more often…there's a couple new recipes I've been wanting to try before I make them for Ludwig and the others…"

"Since when did your family become your guinea pigs, chiacchere?" Romulus chortled and placed another serving of the pasta side dish on his plate (because only Feliciano would try to serve pasta as a side dish with another pasta as the main dish). "As long as you're the one making it, I'm sure it will taste just fine! Talent runs in our family, you know!"

"Oh, good!" Feli heaped another large helping of lasagna onto his plate and passed the pan to his brother. "Are you sure you don't want more, fratello?"

"I'm not hungry."

"D-Did I make it wrong?" Feli felt his eyes well up with tears. He wasn't used to people refusing his cooking. "Is that why you won't eat…? Because I did something wrong and it tastes bad?"

"Of course not, Feliciano!" Romulus interjected, clapping his youngest grandson on the shoulders. "You're a Vargas! Your cooking is on a level of its own, coccolono! It's impossible for you to make anything that tastes less than five-star restaurant quality!"

"Ve~! You really think so?"

"I know so!" Romulus nodded. "Would your Nonno lie to you, trottolino amoroso?"

Lovino tuned them out for the remainder of the meal, poking his food with little interest.

oOo

Alfred was having a similar poking match with his own lunch. Lovino hadn't shown up to watch Captain America with him after all and wasn't responding to calls or texts. Alfred was bummed. The cloud of gloom blocking his typically sunny attitude didn't go unnoticed. Matthew had figured out what was bothering him, but when he offered to watch the movie with his brother to cheer him up, Alfred refused. It just wasn't the same.

The American was trying to sort out his own feelings for Lovino, surprised by all the confusion it brought. When he first met Lovi, it was several years ago while the brunette was still in the Art Department. Alfred had gone on a gallery tour with Matthew, who had begged him to go. The blonde normally wouldn't have paid much attention, but it was impossible not to notice Lovino Vargas.

All of the other young artists were afraid of criticism to their work…all except Lovino. The Italian scowled and snarled at anyone who judged his pieces too harshly, teachers included. He didn't care about the grade, he didn't care about the social status, he just cared about his work. Alfred was never all that great at art (if his stick figure people were anything to go by), so it was impressive enough that Lovino created what he did. What he really admired was the brunette's tenacity and ability to speak his mind about it. Alfred thought all artists were boring, he was pleasantly surprised when Lovino proved him wrong. He just regretted not getting the chance to talk to him back then.

The first time Alfred had actually met Lovino was a year later during afterschool practice. Alfred was astonished to find the Italian out of the art room and on the soccer field. He was even more amazed to see how good Lovino was. He was one of the younger and smaller members of the team, but nothing stopped him on the field. The blue-eyed boy began to make a habit of getting to practice earlier while soccer was still in session. He'd pretend to do homework, but actually watch Lovino play.

Good thing he had watched all those spy movies growing up.

Alfred couldn't believe how fast and agile the little Italian was. Lovino was practically running laps around the others. Alfred couldn't resist the urge to walk over to him after practice one day.

"Congrats! You were awesome out there!"

"E-Er, yeah…thanks…" Lovino blushed as red as a tomato. He quickly turned away and mumbled something in Italian that sounded like some kind of pasta noodle… (Okay, Alfred didn't know any Italian, so everything sounded like some kind of pasta noodle to him. It made things more entertaining, though).

Lovino was so cute, it was hard to believe he was the same boy with the mouth of a sailor. It hurt Alfred to see the crap his team so obviously put him through. What was his coach thinking, letting this go on? At the same time, he didn't feel close enough to Lovino or the soccer team to speak up, so he didn't. He regretted that decision because after a year and a half, Lovino transferred to the Music Department.

Alfred wasn't perfect. He knew he was far from it…however, Lovino just might be. Even with the odds stacked against him, the brunette always climbed to the top of every Department he transferred into. Most students struggled to do well enough with their general studies and a focus area, so switching Departments wasn't common, especially in high school. For Lovino to have transferred three times, mastered three different focus areas, and still found the time to be an awesome and cool human being in general, was really saying a lot for how talented he was. Alfred knew by now that he loved Lovino, but lately he wasn't sure which Lovino.

Before it was easy, he loved the carefree, rambunctious, blunt, yet adorable Italian. Alfred found that with every new mood, he continued to care for Lovino, who seemed to change each day. He'll always love him, so why did it feel like he had to choose only one?

oOo

After Rome left to return to work, he ran into Kiku at the main doorway and let him in. The black-haired boy entered the dining room before Lovino had a chance to escape. A cornered tsundere could be quite dangerous, but they had prepared themselves for this.

"Hello, Feliciano-kun," he greeted his friend. "Are you ready for the project?"

"Oh, no! It completely slipped my mind!" Feli feigned forgetfulness. "I still have to finish the dishes and put everything away!"

The amber-eyed boy made a show of looking around the room until his eyes rested on his brother. He was being a tad too overdramatic in Kiku's opinion, but Lovino didn't seem to notice. Probably a side-effect of growing up with the endlessly energetic and giggly Feliciano.

"Lovi, could you fill in for me?" he asked sweetly. "Kiku just has a few questions for his psychology class project…"

Lovino shrugged, not really caring or in the mood to move. His body felt so heavy…

Feliciano and Kiku exchanged a look, concerned by how easily he agreed. They had another 12 steps planned out to convince him, not expecting him to participate at all at first. Kiku tried to be professional and took a seat across from him. He pulled out his notebook while Feliciano made himself busy by carrying plates back to the kitchen.

"How are you feeling today?" Kiku asked politely.

"Tired."

"I'll try not to keep you then," the Japanese boy scribbled something down. "How have things been going for you lately, Lovino-kun?"

"Busy."

"What sort of projects have you been working on?"

"…The usual."

"Forgive me for asking, but I'm less familiar with you than your brother…" Kiku began. "What kind of things have you been working on to keep you so busy?"

"Art, sports, music…nothing much."

Kiku furrowed his brow slightly, but chose to move on.

"I know you're in the Music Department now. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I dunno."

"Do you have any plans for after high school?"

"Not really."

"Do you have a difficult time making decisions?"

"No."

"What's one of the highest priorities you have in your life right now?"

"I don't know…"

"Have there been times lately that you have been more active or did many more things than usual?"

"Sure?"

"Could you elaborate, please?" Kiku asked.

"I've done more soccer, art, and music, I guess…"

"How did you feel after completing a task in those areas?"

"Fine."

"Have there been times recently that you have felt both high and low at the same time?"

"I don't know."

"A time you felt happy and sad at the same time?" clarified Kiku.

"Sure…"

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Fine."

"I understand you lost your parents when you were young…that must have been hard."

"…I guess."

Kiku continued his questioning, but only got 1 – 2 word answers out of his patient-of-sorts. Even with his most sensitive questions, Lovino seemed too numb (emotionally and physically) to properly react to and answer them. The typically feisty and angry teenager was almost completely disconnected from reality today. Kiku felt like he was having an interview with someone lost in a detached, meaningless fog. It wasn't that Lovino didn't give a damn about anything...Kiku was starting to question if Lovino was able to give a damn about anything. Eventually, the psychologist-in-training decided to pull out the big guns. He reached into his bag and brought out a panda puppet.

"Lovino-kun, I'd like to introduce you to Midori the Panda!" he exclaimed with as much flourish as he could muster. "We'll be using her to help initiate role-play to gain more insight into how you would respond to certain situations!"

Broken was tired of dealing with this, but something had to be done before Kiku caused trouble. He closed his eyes and opened them, wearing a different Face.

"Let's cut to the chase, Kiku," he said, slight arrogant tone to his voice. "You're not really here for some school project, are you?"

oOo

A/N:

Now you've seen all Lovi's different Faces! There are only a few chapters left, so their screen time is limited. If you have a Face that you like the most (after Lovi's true self, of course. You'll be seeing him regardless) or want to see appear more before the grand finale, let me know and I'll see if I can squeeze them in. I have a couple scenarios planned out, but can change them to suit particular Faces easily. Think of it as my thanks to everybody who's left me comments and stuck with this fic for so long!

I also feel like I should mention why Broken is so Alfred-focused...Since Broken sees the world and everything in it as "I hate this" and "I don't hate this" he's a hell of a lot more difficult to please. The other Faces showed how Lovino enjoys things like soccer, cooking, and art, but Broken sees the things he hates about those things as reason to hate the activity in general (bastard teammates in soccer, the Art Dept. volunteers "stealing" his work, living in Feli's artistic/culinary shadow...etc.). Alfred was the only thing Broken didn't attach any outward hatred towards, so he was the only thing he focused on (he blamed himself for not winning over Alfred instead of Alfred not openly accepting his feelings). Hopefully that helps clear up a few things!

-Rajikka

Translations:

Tsundere – A tsundere is a type of character seen in anime or manga known for appearing cold or hostile, but having a hidden sweet side. "Tsun Tsun" is the aloof or irritable side, while "Dere Dere" is the lovey dovey side. (Jp.)

Topolino – Little Mouse (It.)

Chiacchere – Chatterbox (It.)

Coccolono – Little Cuddly One (It.)

Trottolino amoroso – roughly "beloved little spinning top" Fitting, as Feli's much like a restless child. Also, I wanted to see how ridiculous Romulus could get with pet names for his grandsons and still stay somewhat in character XD

Fratello – Brother (It.)

Grazie – Thanks (It.)

Midori – Green (Jp.)